Linna : Historical Romance (The Brocade Collection, Book 5)

by Jackie Ivie

  Linna put both hands to her eyes and held her fingers there, waiting for the shaking to subside. When that didn’t work, she had to pull the pantaloons off the wall hook and wipe at tears that wouldn’t stop.

  Nobody understood her. Nobody cared enough. She missed Mama. And Rhea. She missed Papa. She missed Vincent. She missed her innocence. She missed all that and more.

  She crouched beside the sleeping form of her husband and held the cotton of her under-drawers to her face to hide the tears that just kept coming. She didn’t know she had this much capacity for them, and no matter how she wiped and sopped at her face, more came.

  Mama had died! And while that was shock enough, Linna wasn’t supposed to love her father anymore because of it. Nobody understood that. She was cold to everyone because she didn’t know any other way. She’d adored her father – but how could she, when he’d taken her mother away?

  Murderer!

  Even here and now, half a year from it, the word still pained. Deeply. When he’d taken his vengeance, he’d taken everything. Both of her parents were ripped from her that night. And then she’d had to act like it was nothing. Nothing! She’d almost convinced herself that it was. Linna caught the wail before it sounded and held her breath as Cord moved.

  Her sobs worsened, and all she had for comfort was the clothing from her own wardrobe. She wasn’t about to seek solace from the man at her knees! Linna moaned at the agony she couldn’t keep in, then her heart almost stopped when Cord spoke.

  “Linna?”

  She sniffed as much of her rampant emotion from existence as she could in order to answer him. She didn’t know if the fever had broken or not, and she didn’t want him knowing about her loss of control. She’d never be able to face him again.

  “Y–yes?” She finally answered, although it was shaky-sounding. She made a face at the dark.

  “It’s...cold.”

  The pause between the words was full of his continuing weakness. Linna’s shoulders sagged with relief. He was still ill. She should have put more coverings on him. She searched for more. She didn’t know what had come over her. Linna wiped at her cheeks, but her eyes still wouldn’t cooperate.

  She couldn’t find but one of the discarded quilts. He was probably sleeping atop the others. He was impossible to move and preventing his own recovery with his bulk. It would have been easier if he didn’t outweigh her by at least double. Then again, it was probably her fault because she’d put so many blankets beneath him.

  She spread the quilt over him by feel and didn’t imagine a tingle when her fingertips brushed skin.

  He was paid to bed you, Linna.

  The thought stiffened her lips but did nothing to stop emotion. She wiped tears from her chin before they dropped onto him. And finally it was done. Linna had the quilt up to his chin. She sat back on her haunches again.

  “Not...enough. Want...”

  Linna pulled the pantaloons from her eyes to glare. Not enough? Well! She didn’t have anything left to warm him with.

  “...you.”

  Linna sighed heavily. So, he wanted her? Served him right. He’d best look elsewhere. She wasn’t available to him. Ever.

  “Linna?”

  He moaned after the name, and she could hear him moving about. What was wrong with him now? He’d only thrashed about when he was caught up in the fever, not when he was chilled.

  Linna accepted the obvious. She’d have to share her warmth with him. She probably should have kept more of her clothing on, but he wouldn’t know her state of undress. Not in his condition.

  She lifted the quilt and slid in beside him, careful to keep her back to him. If he wanted more of her...well! He could just want it. She wasn’t going to give it to him.

  Cord rolled toward her, shoving his chest into the back of her head without so much as a by-your-leave. Linna caught the wry smile. He didn’t have a sensitive side to him. Anywhere. There wasn’t a soft or feminine bone in his body. It was laughable that she’d defended him with Simons. There was no way Cord would slake his lusts with another man. It was laughable.

  Linna dried her face and snuggled closer into the enclosure Cord seemed to have made for her. Her thighs met his, her knees curved along his, and her head was somewhere in the area beneath his chin. He’d stopped moving about, too.

  He felt too hot. Still. Again.

  She sighed again, this time in resignation.

  She rolled toward him and pushed him back into his prone position. She didn’t question it as he actually moved where she wanted him to. She sat up and reached for where she’d left the bucket.

  There wasn’t much rainwater left, and what there was didn’t feel cool, but it would have to do. Linna wrung the cloth out with her right hand, using her left to find his forehead. She gulped at the sensation of finding his chest instead.

  Linna ran her hand up to his chin and around a cheekbone. He is definitely hotter, she thought, leaning atop him to rinse at this brow. The instant touch of her breast against his side brought droplets of sweat along the back of her neck. Hot. He was very hot.

  He was burning. How did that happen?

  Linna mopped at his brow before wiping along both sides of his face. The cloth warmed quicker than before. She dipped it rapidly, not wringing it out properly before swishing it atop more of him. He groaned and stiffened as the water splashed him. He should complain, she thought, as her chemise got sprinkled liberally, too.

  The chest rising and falling beside her, startled her trailing fingertips. Linna told herself she had to be in contact with him in order to finish. It was too dark to find him otherwise. She slid the cloth across his chest and onto his abdomen, amazed that the muscles seemed to be bunching and moving with each movement of her fingers.

  She dipped the rag again, holding onto him with her left hand the entire time.

  Cord groaned again. Linna shushed him. Her left hand had reached his right side, but she had to lean against him. Her chemise clung to the dampness she’d just put in place on his stomach.

  She finished his left side and sat to dip the rag again. She ran her left hand along his waist. She was flushing brightly enough for ten washings at where she needed to go next.

  Her body was the one on fire now.

  Linna moved her hand along his upper thigh, gasping as she came into contact with his arousal. Cord’s groan was longer and more protracted this time. Despite everything, she bumped her hand against him again, pushed him to one side, and was intrigued when he swayed right back upright. Linna left off her ministrations on his arm and shifted closer. She brought her right hand to join her left, enwrapping his shaft, not stopping to think. Her motions might as well have been gifted from years of practice as she ran her hands over him, feeling every ridge, every bump, every nuance.

  The groan this time didn’t come from him, it came from her. She couldn’t stop it. Her mouth was open to snag each breath, her knees were pinching together over and over, her breasts were heavy with longing, and her most private area was in an agony of want. Desire.

  Lust.

  “Yes,” Cord whispered.

  Linna froze in place, her eyes wide. She released him and hung her head. Dearest God, what am I doing? She deserved better than to take advantage of a sick man on his sickbed, especially this man. Sweet heaven, he didn’t even want her. He’d had to be paid!

  She set her teeth and dipped her rag again. She was no better than that Simons, she told herself...ambushing an ill man!

  This time, she used quick, efficient motions as she ran the cloth along his thigh and over his knee, following her left hand’s guidance. Cord groaned again, the sound deeper. Fuller. She set her shoulders. The chemise felt like it was strangling skin as she reached to rinse his other leg. Wet material tormented every nerve ending, causing her to writhe and pulse against it. She hovered at his feet, perched atop his thighs, and leaned forward, pressing her forehead into an ankle. She couldn’t do what her body wanted. It was unthinkable. Detestable. Wrong
. Nothing she tried worked. He was too close. Too warm. All she had to do was reach behind her…

  This was excruciating.

  She had to finish and get move from him. That was the only way. She had to complete her ministrations and get as far away from him as she could. She had to.

  “Oh, Lord. Help me.”

  She whispered it against the space her head was pressed to, then turned her face into him. God wasn’t helping her. Nobody was. Linna pursed her lips and kissed the inside of Cord’s ankle. He jumped slightly. She shouldn’t do this. She couldn’t. She mustn’t.

  She wasn’t a fancy woman. She didn’t have lusts. Passions. Oh. Why was nothing working? Linna didn’t know how to stop this. She’d never felt such desire. Need. Craving.

  She licked at him. He tasted salty…very pleasant. Her tongue experienced and reported every bit of it. Linna pressed her bosom into his thighs as she lapped at him, scraping her nipples against the hardness of thigh muscles. It wasn’t enough, though. She realized it even as he said her name along with a plea.

  “Linna...please? Linna....”

  Perhaps he wasn’t fully conscious, but he was begging her. Didn’t that make it all right?

  “Linna...please?”

  She swiveled neatly, the motion sending her chemise to her waist, all so she could shove her loins into his knee. This was driving her crazy. It was doing worse for him if the noises gurgling from his throat were any indicator.

  She’d thought his thrashing earlier had been strong. There was no comparison to his movements now. He was nearly rolling over each time he tossed. Linna was hard put to hold on. The storm raging outside couldn’t measure against the tempest she was experiencing. She couldn’t even halt the cries. Linna shuddered through a space of ecstasy with her eyes so tightly shut, lightning speared through them.

  When the evidence of his need came into contact with her cheek, not only was she ready, but Cord arched up in such a taut bow, she had to put her hand on his abdomen to force him back down. She no longer cared if it was a ravishment or villainous or evil. She only knew need. She needed to feel his hard length inside of her, and she needed it now.

  She found him and held him in place. Cord was still groaning, although it came in little panting breaths. He hadn’t loosened any of his frame. She didn’t want him to. She wanted to feel every bit of the hardness that was Cord Larket against every bit of her.

  Linna climbed, gripped her knees to both sides of his hips, and she slid onto him, releasing a gush of sensation. Cord wasn’t weak. And he wasn’t lax. He was more than eager. Willing. Linna didn’t question it. She rocked atop him, gaining in tempo, but felt the exact moment when he bucked his hips in response. She was attune to her own experience. The sensations. She was alive with them. She tossed her head back to gain breath. Send cries out. Grip tighter. Feel more. Experience harder. She rose with him, thrashing into him over and over, and careening through a vortex of wonder so many times, that she almost missed his release.

  Cord slammed into her again and again, lifting her. Dropping with her. Lifting. Dropping. Again and again. Linna clung. Shivered. Gyrated. And enjoyed. And when he reached his own paradise, everything about him went taut, while a deep, almost agonized cry emitted from his throat, filling the room with the low tones. It was guttural. Masculine. Passionate. Enthralling. Linna didn’t think it through. She bent forward to reach his neck, and latched onto his skin. And sucked. Hard. And experienced every heavy thud of his heartbeat that way.

  This couldn’t be wrong. It was amazing. Awe-inspiring. Massive. Everything felt exactly right. Exactly. Linna shushed her mind. Tomorrow was soon enough for regrets. She had just ravished a man at the height of his illness. Even if she had the right, she shouldn’t have done it.

  She continued sucking on his neck, keeping him exactly where she wanted – buried deep. She didn’t care if she marked him. She didn’t care about anything. She’d worry about all of it tomorrow. Everything could just wait until then.

  Cord finished his palpitations and dropped, his chest and abdomen twitching randomly where they touched. Linna unlocked her mouth and lapped at the spot, tasting heaven, even as she knew she had to stop. Move away. Distance herself. Oh! But it had been wonderful. Fulfilling. Her entire body feel sated. Soft. Serene. If only…

  If only he hadn’t been paid to bed her. If only he were different. If only he’d been who he said he was. Then everything would be different. She wouldn’t have to hide her desire for him. Or what she’d just done. Linna lifted her head and looked toward where his head should be. Nothing but darkness met her gaze. And then she felt and heard his breathing. Evenly and deeply. As if he slept.

  Maybe he hadn’t gained full awareness. He didn’t act as if anything had happened. That was a good sign. Perhaps he’d think it a fever-induced dream. She smiled while moving her eyebrows up and down before disengaging, separating them. She rolled to kneel on the floor beside him, pulled her chemise hem back down to her knees where it belonged, and then she considered her options. She hadn’t many. He was so warm, and he had the quilt. It didn’t take long to induce herself to snuggle back against him.

  Well.

  Her ministrations had been unorthodox, but they seemed to have worked. Cord wasn’t remotely hot anymore. Linna settled into space beside him and pulled the quilt atop them.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Morning came too soon, she decided, as sunlight touched on her exposed foot. With morning, came too much of everything else. Linna groaned as time and place returned. She barely kept from awakening the giant at her side. She rolled from the safe, secure haven he’d created for her within the shelter of his frame and immediately felt the chill being away from him caused.

  Has the fever returned? She dropped to kiss his forehead. Her flush, should he awaken was followed by her amazement that she’d remembered that small bit of nursing knowledge from somewhere. Someone, at some time, had told her the best way to gauge a temperature was to touch your lips to it.

  It must be true, for Cord’s brow was the same temperature as her lips. His eyes were just as gray-green as always, too. Linna’s gaze skittered away as he caught her, teetering on her hands and knees, with her lips bare inches from him.

  “Good morn to you, too,” he whispered, before lifting his head, preparatory to touching his lips to hers.

  Linna barely avoided the kiss and swayed back on her haunches. “I was testing your fever,” she told the floor.

  “Very good methods you have, too. You have my heartfelt gratitude.”

  Linna dared another glance but couldn’t hold it. He was too all-knowing smug, too gloriously muscled, and altogether too handsome, to bandy light words. Her throat felt tight, her heart heavy, and her eyes filled with tears despite everything she tried. She couldn’t face him. Not yet. Not until she had her emotions under control. She should have known she was no match for the gorgeous man who’d shoved his way into her life and completely upended it. She should have known and run in the other direction.

  She didn’t want to feel anything for him - especially this soft emotion that she desperately hoped wasn’t love. It just couldn’t be. Linna Daniels didn’t know the meaning of the word! She’d been accused of that oft enough. It should be true. What a fool she’d been. She was very afraid that not only did she know the meaning, she’d caught a full-fledged case of it. All of which was too raw, too strange, and too fragile to address. Linna didn’t dare look at him.

  “How...do you feel?” she mumbled.

  He stretched beneath the quilt, drawing her glance, before he put both hands behind his head and lay back to look at the ceiling. “Why?” he asked.

  “What do you mean, why?” she put her best sarcasm into the question and wasn’t surprised when he slid his gaze to her. She quickly moved to look at the cabin wall behind him.

  “Why do you care?”

  Why do I care? Wouldn’t he like to know! She shrugged very carefully. “You’ve been ill and I’ve been nursin
g you. That’s why.”

  “That what you call it?” he paused after the low-tone words before continuing. “Nursing?”

  Linna blushed, then felt it recede. She was probably as pale as she felt. The opposite side of the cabin blurred for a moment. “You—you had a fever...all night last. And yesterday. You were barely conscious. I took care of you.”

  “Oh. I’ll bet you did,” he replied.

  Linna felt her stomach sink. It wasn’t pleasant. She opened her mouth to answer him with anything that came to mind, but nothing did, so she shut her lips and twisted the lace at her chemise hem.

  “I’ve never been ill,” he whispered, more to the ceiling than to her.

  “You already said that.”

  “When?”

  “The first night, I think. When that Simons was first ejected.”

  “You had him ejected? That’s interesting.”

  He was probably looking toward her, and her legs were getting stiff from perching on her heels. Linna wondered at her next course. She couldn’t stay crouched at his side, in little more than her underclothes. It was conducive to things she didn’t dare think of. Especially with as little as he was wearing. And with as well as he was doing it.

  She knew he was watching her, and that heightened everything. There wasn’t any place on him it was safe to look. And nothing in the room to focus on. She was trying to deny the effects of being in such close proximity to this man, and it just wasn’t possible. It had something to do with that physique, those perfectly chiseled features, his straight black-brown hair, perfect lips, absorbing gray-green eyes. It wasn’t entirely her fault that she....

  “So, how did he take it?” he asked.

  “Who?” She wasn’t pretending confusion. Her entire being was in that state.

  “Simons. You ejected him, remember?”

  “Oh. I didn’t eject anyone,” she informed him. “The captain did.”

  He sighed hugely and she watched the quilt slip. “Captain Watkins doesn’t even know where this part of his ship is, and I seriously doubt he’d put out the effort to check on a lowly seaman. Try again.”