Linna : Historical Romance (The Brocade Collection, Book 5)

by Jackie Ivie

  He shrugged. “Love.”

  Linna took a deep breath. “It isn’t pleasant.”

  He snorted.

  “It feels bad...but sometimes it’s wondrous. It’s not controllable. Nothing works. It sounds like water running through my ears. If I look into your eyes, it’s like everything else fades. But if I close my eyes…it’s worse. It feels like I’ve been replaced with someone I don’t know or even like. It’s horrible! That’s what it feels like!” She lost her voice mid-way through.

  “You feel these things...even knowing my past?”

  She nodded. She felt absolutely drained. Vulnerable. Defenseless.

  “And...what I am?”

  She nodded again.

  “Does this mean you’ll release me from our stupid bargain? I may touch you any time I wish? Even here? Right now?”

  Linna blushed. She couldn’t help it. She cleared her throat. “I already released you. At Dominique’s.”

  “I want it to be of your free will though. Is it?”

  She nodded.

  “I’d like to hear it, please,” he replied.

  She sighed. “Very well, Cordean Raoul Larket. I release you from our bargain. You have all the rights of a wedded man with his wife. You may touch me when you want. Any place you want. Right here. Right now, if you like.”

  Linna waited, her entire being tuned to him, but he didn’t make a move to touch her. After asking for and receiving what he had, he didn’t want her?

  “Thank you,” he finally said, with that quiet whisper of his.

  Linna turned to scoop up water, tossed in on her face, then she rubbed at her eyes.

  “And thank you for setting my mind to rest. I’ve worried about my child’s acceptance. I’m content now that I know.”

  “Of course I accept my baby! How could anyone think otherwise? It’s mine, isn’t it?”

  “It’s part of me, too. I gave it to you. I never did that before.”

  “Never?”

  He shook his head.

  “And...that means?”

  There! She’d asked it. She watched him stiffen in the silence that just kept growing.

  “I don’t know what you want to know.” He truly didn’t if the confusion in his eyes was any indication.

  “How do you feel, Cord?”

  It was out. In the open. How vulnerable she felt. Linna held her breath.

  “About what?” he asked.

  “About me!”

  “You?” He was stunned. It was evident as he pulled back and stared down at her.

  “Yes, me. What do you feel about me?”

  The crease in his forehead was out in full force. Linna would rather be anywhere than standing before him, watching those expressive eyes.

  “You want to know if I return your love emotion. Is that it?”

  She didn’t even nod. Her heart was still pumping, so she still lived and breathed, but she didn’t feel capable of uttering a sound.

  “I don’t know, Linna. I don’t think so.”

  Linna caught the cry and looked away. Anything was better than watching the honest answer on his face and in his eyes. The unyielding boulder looked softer. She knew for a certainty that she loved him, because hearing it wasn’t returned was like a blow. She was surprised she remained standing, her jaw locked. She could still see and hear him though. She wondered how such a thing was possible.

  He reached for her. She watched his shadow on the water. Linna flinched away.

  “Why...did you return...for me? Why?” I’d have rather endured life as Luthor’s wife! At least my heart would be intact!

  She felt his shrug of nonchalance. It increased the agony enveloping her. She steeled herself for his answer.

  “I...enjoyed you. That’s a good word for it, I guess. You were very satisfying. Very much a woman. I wanted more. I still do. Come here.”

  She couldn’t answer. She was using every ounce of resolve to remain upright. Any longer in his presence, and she’d be on her knees in the water, crying her eyes out. Despite her vow, she was just barely holding off a wave of tears that would put any of Rhea’s to shame.

  “I want to hold you, Linna. Please?”

  “Why? So you can torment me more?” Now her nose was running. She sniffed loudly. She was beyond caring.

  “I just want to hold you.”

  “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again!”

  The last word was sobbed. She was shamed to the depths of her being, and he was making it worse. Didn’t he know? Was he that cruel?

  He caught her to him. Lifted her to his chest. She struggled but he held her tightly. She didn’t want to do anything except hold to him and sob her eyes out, anyway.

  “Stop it, Linna! Stop!”

  “Don’t hold me, Cord. Please? Don’t do this. I’m begging you. Please?”

  He lowered his head. Agony pierced her heart, blurred down her spine, settled into the small of her back. It was acute. Harsh. Fiery.

  “You’ll just have to forgive me. All right? I want to touch you. I want to hold you. I want to possess every part of you. If that’s a feeling, I have it. If ever I knew love, I’ve forgotten. You don’t know what I’ve been through. No one does. A man with feelings gets hurt. He looks weak. He gets killed. It was better to kill the feelings. I don’t know if I’m capable of love, Linna. How can I? I don’t know what it is anymore.”

  He was shuddering with whatever emotion he claimed not to have. Linna felt his tremors through her entire body. The pain at her back cooled. Weakened. Released. And that’s when she arched up, pressing her mouth to his. She didn’t think. She only felt. His lips were warm, soft, and wet. She couldn’t hold the kiss, though. She couldn’t gain any breath without clearing her nose.

  For some reason, that thought made her laugh. She pulled her head back to gain breath. Sanity. Cord’s confusion was evident. Visual. It was also endearing. So, he doesn’t know what love is, and doesn’t feel it?

  It should prove very interesting when he found out. The thought gave her even more amusement.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  “You want to tell me what’s so funny?” he asked.

  Linna laughed harder. Being held above the water was starting to warm her. That, and the off-chance that her wet, chemise-clad body was clinging to every bit of the god-like man she’d married.

  “I’m not used to being ignored.”

  His tautness sobered her. Oh. He was probably never ignored. It was actually amazing that he went unnoticed, anywhere.

  “Really? Well. I suppose that much might be true,” she answered.

  Cord glared at her. Coming from those moss-green eyes, in that reddish brown face, it wasn’t having an intimidating effect. It had the opposite as Linna grinned.

  “You’ve set yourself out to annoy me now?”

  “Annoy?” She wrinkled her nose in thought. “Not exactly. Fascinate, charm and perhaps intrigue, but annoy? Never.”

  His eyebrows rose, and he pulled back, standing upright as he regarded her. Linna used the gap to wrap her legs about his waist. She hung onto his neck, arched her back and watched him.

  “I think you should kiss me now,” she said.

  “What?”

  She shimmied against him. Cold water must have a very strange effect on him, because she couldn’t feel the hardness she’d always taken for granted. She tightened her legs, rotated against his loins, and was rewarded with the stirring of what she was looking for.

  “And maybe you could…touch me?” she asked.

  “Uh. Too much. And much too soon.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “I haven’t got to touch you in close to five years. I’m not entirely certain what my reaction will be.”

  “What nonsense! I distinctly remember about four months ago—.”

  “Time’s relative, love. I’m nearing eighty now, if I’m a day. I’ve been denied. Tormented. Toyed with. None of that helps with…uh this. Uh. You.”

 
“You mean...this?” She made little lunging motions against him and felt the immediate response exactly as she expected.

  “Oh Bebe. You change the rules and then offer up this body? You’re too…uh. Beautiful. Womanly. I’m warning you. There are consequences.”

  “How wonderful,” she replied, blinking slowly and deliberately before she sucked in on her lower lip.

  Cord growled at her. “You got a reason for this?” he asked.

  Linna released her lip and watched him glance at it. “I’m just playing,” she teased.

  “Another game? Merde!”

  “You have the right to touch me though. Remember?”

  “I’d say I am touching you. More than touching, I’m...we’re...I can’t—don’t ask for more. I don’t think I—.”

  His words halted, and his eyes widened as she tipped her shoulders so the chemise straps could slide down her arms. She watched him try to ignore it. She knew he was by set jaw. Narrowed eyes. Heavy breaths. Linna was enthralled. Her pulse jumped with each beat. The man was too handsome to be real, and he was doing amazing things to her. She felt like the consistency of jam.

  She grinned up at him, then shrugged. Her bodice slid a bit lower. She pushed her elbows into her sides a fraction to create more cleavage shadow. She watched his eyes flick there and back.

  “Actually…I think you’re almost where I want you.”

  “Any closer...and we’d...be joined.”

  He had trouble getting through the sentence. “True. So. So…true,” she answered, leaving her mouth in the perfect kissing pose.

  She watched him look her over before lifting his head, looking about, and frowning. Then he looked back at her. Linna blew on the exposed chest in front of her and watched the goose flesh ripple. She felt like singing.

  “You’d best stop that. Now. We’re in...a public pool.”

  “And?” she prompted.

  “And. And. Oh, hell.”

  He tipped his head, lowered his lips to hers, and that’s when Linna knew she had him. It wasn’t in the heat exchange her bosom experienced, or the hardness swelling against where she needed it most. It wasn’t even in the way he tilted his hips forward, heaving her completely out of the water. It wasn’t any of those things. It was in the deep groan he gave.

  His cry broke their kiss. Linna kept her lips exactly as they’d been and opened her eyes slowly. The look on his face could best be described as consternation mixed with surprise. She smiled.

  “You thinking...to entice me?” he asked, in that low whisper-like tone of his.

  “Oh. I’m not just thinking about it, lover-man,” she answered in what she hoped was a sultry tone.

  “You don’t care about the consequences?”

  Stammering and consternation had been replaced with something else. She knew that look. She knew what it meant, too. She’d seen it in the Larroquette room when they’d first bargained. It was feral. Masculine. Predatory. And it created shivers hat flew her arms, and came to rest in the taut nerve endings of her nipples.

  “I wouldn’t call on your response, if I didn’t want it,” she finally answered.

  “This pond is too public,” he said, through clenched teeth.

  “You get shy of a sudden?” she asked.

  She’d surprised him. She could tell by the indrawn breath. “Woman, I will not be responsible for what I do if you continue in this vein. I am not shy. I’ve taken women in full view of others. I’ve been cheered on. I will not take you that way. You are different.”

  “How?” she asked in a whisper.

  “They were whores.”

  “Why does that make it different? You don’t like what you see? You’ve seen better perhaps? Taken better?”

  She was going to have her answer now. She watched him frown as he puzzled through her words. She not only thought about touching the little crease in his forehead, she did it, tightening her legs for balance on his hips so she could run her fingertips along his wrinkle and push the lock of hair out of the way. Her breasts made contact with his chest, although she moved away the moment it happened. Enticing, he called it? It was self-torment!

  He swore viciously. “What is wrong with you? You want vindication? You want me on my knees begging?”

  “You’d do that?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You are perfect, Woman. The image of perfection. You know it. You’ve always known it. There is no comparison. I can barely hold in my response, and you ask questions? What kind of game are we playing now?”

  Linna pulled up, so her lips were near his ear. She blew softly at it, and was rewarded with a tremor that shook both of them. “You looking for a release in my body, Cord? Or…do you want to make love? I’m new to this, but even I know there’s a difference.”

  “What? There’s...no difference,” he answered.

  “Oh. I think there is. I can get what you give from any man, but I want it to be you. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.”

  “You do this with another man and I’ll kill him! You hear? I’ll—”

  Linna ran her tongue along the faded bruising on his neck, stopping his words with a choked noise. “I think that sort of reaction might mean something. What do you think?”

  “What? No. You don’t know. Oh, Linna...love.”

  He tried to pull her away, but Linna didn’t let him. She’d sucked on his skin and slid her lips up his neck. He wrenched out of her reach when she got to the bottom of his chin. He put both hands beneath her armpits and pushed her back from him. He couldn’t do a thing about how her legs stayed locked about his hips. He was glaring at her with a pained, lust-filled look.

  “What...do you think you’re doing?” he asked, in a controlled voice.

  “I think it’s pretty obvious,” she answered.

  “We have...company,” he answered, motioning with his head over her shoulder. Linna didn’t look. She didn’t care. She didn’t move her gaze from his.

  “So?” she answered.

  That shocked him. She watched his jaw drop open with delight. She wondered if he’d felt it when she looked at him with her mouth wide open. Then told herself she was being ridiculous. He didn’t feel anything.

  Or so, he said.

  She flicked her glance to both sides of the pond without moving her head. There wasn’t a soul in sight. “There’s no one here,” she accused.

  “Around the rock, at the creek. Listen, you’ll hear them.”

  “All I can hear is running water,” she replied, “and it isn’t from any creek. That’s one of the signs of loving you, remember?”

  He could blind someone with that smile, she thought, as her words sunk in.

  “I am not wearing a stitch, baby.”

  “I know,” she replied.

  “My clothes are somewhere over yonder.”

  “I know,” she said again.

  “I can’t move without all and sundry knowing what you do to me.”

  She matched his grin. “I know.”

  “You know I won’t take you in this public place. You know what you’re doing to me, and you aren’t going to help me manage it?”

  His fingers might leave bruises as his fingers tightened where he held her. Linna pulled both arms out of their straps. Then she slid a finger along the top of her chemise, lowering. It was worse than self-torment. It was excruciating self-torment.

  “I want you to make love to me, Cordean,” Linna whispered.

  “Oh...Bebe,” he replied.

  His trembling increased, and his knees sagged, if the cold dip her buttocks received was any indication. Icy water lapped against her heat. Then he was stalking out of the pond, holding her pinned to him. Linna kept her gaze on his face. She couldn’t say one word.

  “How far are we from our house?” she asked.

  “Our house?” he repeated in growled voice.

  “All right. Any house with a bed...and hurry.”

  Cord stopped, flicked that greenish gaze about them, before bringing it bac
k to her. “Oh. I don’t give a damn about a bed, sweetheart,” he answered and then slammed his lips to hers.

  Linna melted. Sucking, grasping lips pulled hers awry, as he ravished her tongue with his. She helped. Then they were moving again. Each step pounding her against him. Torturing. Exciting.

  It got darker. Linna didn’t open her eyes to verify it. She was incapable of absorbing anything except the burning sensation of his tongue and lips.

  He went to his knees, slanting her forward and down onto what felt like rough wool, his body straining within her locked legs, and his tongue a living entity. Then he lifted his head, breaking the kiss, but before she could respond, she heard the chemise tearing. Felt air. And then him. Linna erupted in ecstasy as he suckled.

  Then he was sliding his mouth down the mound of their child, his hands holding onto her bosom. His lips neared her apex. Closer. Nearer. He closed in on the place her mind wouldn’t allow. He couldn’t! I can’t let him....

  Pleasure erupted, coursing over her skin, accompanied by her scream. Cord’s breath, as he chuckled, made it even more intense. And then he was back, his eyes scorching and intense.

  Linna barely had time to catch her breath, before he was there. Filling her. Claiming and imprinting adoration onto every bit of her. She screamed again, but Cord captured the sound with his mouth. She was with him every lunge, every movement, every contortion, and she was in heaven the entire time. Oh. He knew exactly what love was. He just didn’t know how to admit it.

  Linna had her arms and legs wrapped about him when he finally allowed his release. She experienced every beat of his heart, every shudder he made, and the way his chest vibrated with his agonized-sounding cry. It was magic. Pure and perfect.

  Cord’s body lurched a final time, before he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. Linna winced at the crush of his weight on one ankle before she got it freed. She lifted her head and waited as his breaths calmed, although he was still lifting and lowering her with each one.

  Something snorted directly above her head. Linna jumped slightly. Cord barely registered movement. And then a large mare’s head gripped at the hay beside Cord’s head lifted another bite.

  “We’re...in the stable?” she whispered.

  Cord didn’t answer. He just lay there, a silly smile on his lips, and his eyes closed. His expression was close to the one he’d given when trying to feel their baby’s movements. She twisted her lips and regarded him before trying again. “Cord? Are we in the stable?”