A Fine Line

by Emma Leigh Reed

  John stood and started to the door. Grace stared after him and stood as he turned back towards her. “Just think about it, please.” He gave her a smile and left. Grace sank back into the couch. Her mind was filled with the possibilities. Did Xander truly love her? He said he did…the card with the flowers declared it…but did she trust her instinct enough to let him in?

  She wanted to. She longed for that kind of love that was shown in her mom’s letters from John. She wanted that in her life, but she turned cold at the thought of being hurt. The thought that it might not last due to stupidness within the families and the past feud. Did she dare open up just a little to take the risk?

  Chapter 29

  Xander sat at the lighthouse. His thoughts drifted to the last time he was here with Grace. He closed his eyes and allowed the sound of the crashing waves to wash over him. As he found his balance, he withdrew his pad of paper and pen, opened his eyes and began to write.

  He had been drifting for so long through his adult life, he almost forgot what it was like to feel a calmness through him as he settled into nature and just allow it to balance out the stress. Through the years he had found himself moving from job to job, place to place, but always kept in an area that he could easily be near the ocean or near a wooden area to keep that balance in his life that only nature could bring him. Since this whole situation had started with Grace, he had forgotten how much he needed this.

  This was a part of himself he wanted to share with Grace for the first time in his adult life, he wanted to share himself with another person. She had moved right into his heart and she didn’t even know it. He wanted her to know him, the real him, the him that he hid from so many people in an effort to stay under the radar. There had been enough people in the limelight with his parents. He was so jaded from the social classes and being one of them that he did everything he could to do quite the opposite of what was expected of him. Yet Grace had no expectations of him. She simply brought out the best in him without trying. He exhaled and allowed the words to flow through his pen and onto the paper, words that would bring the inner him to the surface so she could finally, truly, meet him.

  There was no hesitation in his writing. No fear of what would she think. He simply opened up and allowed his heart to bleed onto the paper.

  * * *

  Grace spent the rest of the afternoon curled up on the couch with the letters from John to her mom in her lap. She had reread most of them. The man that had showed up at her house earlier was the man in the letters, no doubt. She had seen that side of him. She thought back to her childhood and how cold the man had been every time she ran into him.

  She had kept her distance from him knowing only bits and pieces of the feud from other people. Her mom never said a word about it. Whenever Grace questioned her, her mom would change the subject. Near as Grace could figure, it had gone on for a few generations, with the Stevens family always feeling they were better than everyone else. She never understood it, but it always came down to social class, and the Stevens were high society with old money. The Robinson’s, Abigail’s family name, was working class and never could break that barrier. Grace never saw her mom show any animosity towards the Stevens, and now Grace knew why. She was the epitome of rising above.

  Grace smiled. Her mom’s favorite expression had always been, “Rise above the difficult situations. You will see it differently from a higher view.” Grace now understood. Was this the reason her mom put Xander and her in this situation? Just to show her understanding through difficulty? Grace sighed. Even from the grave, Mom kept teaching her lessons.

  Time seemed to freeze as Grace closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to drift to her mom and the memories of her childhood. Visions of her father and mother dancing in the kitchen, happy moments through her life with holidays, negated any thoughts that her parents hadn’t been happy. She knew they were in every fiber of her being.

  She startled from her dreams with the closing of the front door. She focused her eyes as Xander walked into the living room.

  “Everything okay?” Xander gestured towards the letters in her lap.

  “They make me feel closer to Mom.” Grace straightened the letters and put them back in the box.

  She started to move her legs when Xander made towards the couch, but he caught her legs and put them across his lap as he sat down. He gently started rubbing her feet and she couldn’t help but relax and enjoy his touch.

  “Where’ve you been?”

  “Went for a ride to the lighthouse to clear my mind.” Xander’s hands stilled. “I know things have been a bit stilted between us, but I want to get past that.”

  “We’re okay. It’s just been a lot of stress. We’re just dealing with it in our own way, that’s all.” Grace wiggled her foot against his hand. “Feel free to keep those hands going.”

  A chuckle escaped Xander and Grace smiled. She closed her eyes and lay back, allowing Xander to work his magic on her feet. For the moment, the comfortable silence was all they needed. Grace struggled with whether or not to tell Xander about his dad’s visit and in the end, she held her tongue. It wasn’t necessary to go into it. If she knew Xander at all, he would be more irritated than pleased at the news.

  * * *

  Not wanting to push his luck, Xander excused himself to his room shortly after dinner. They had kept the compatibleness between them through dinner. He was anxious to put his plan in motion in the morning, but for now he needed some space. All he could think about was pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless and teasing her with his fingers until she begged for more.

  Xander settled onto his bed, his back propped against a pillow. He read and reread his writings from earlier. As he worked on rewriting it, he paused and smiled. This was him. Grace would finally have a glimpse into who he really was.

  It felt good to finally open up.

  Chapter 30

  Grace wandered to the kitchen. It had been a long, sleepless night. She stumbled as she, willed the coffee maker to already have her magic brew ready. As she neared the counter, she found a full of coffee and an envelope with her name on it in front of the coffee maker. The coffee was hot. Xander obviously had heard her coming and poured her coffee fresh. She closed her eyes and inhaled the rich aroma before taking her first sip.

  He was forever thoughtful, doing little things that just blew her away. He had no idea how much she appreciated these small gestures and how much it chipped away at the wall that she struggled to keep in place whenever he was around. She glanced at the envelope again and wondered what it could be. She continued sipping her coffee, delaying the opening of the envelope. She feared bad news, but she was curious.

  She finally set her coffee aside and grabbed it. She turned it over and opened it slowly. Pulling a single piece of paper out, she opened it and started to read.

  * * *

  I sit…Not in my own skin, not in my own space.

  I don’t know, what, where, or when.

  My God! I thought I was in control of my heart, my world.

  I sit…Watching the waves ebb and flow with relentless timeless repetition.

  The ebb is peaceful, calm and unassuming.

  Flow crashes into my chest, my heart, my being

  * * *

  You were guarded by your existence and your place in the planet.

  Stoic and unknowingly steadfast.

  Hardened early in life, complacent

  I will be a gentle breeze grazing your shoulder,

  Caressing the tiniest hairs on your neck that can only be witnessed

  When the afternoon sun shines from a waning day low in the sky.

  Your head will tilt. questioning the moment, yet no one is there.

  Wave after wave, tide after tide, you will realize my presence as a constant.

  You are safe…Safe with me. Pure.

  * * *

  Grace closed her eyes. She felt the hotness of tears as they escaped from under her lashes and ran down her cheek
s. The simple words had in an instance shattered the wall she had built around her heart. She opened her eyes and reread the words again. Her heartbeat as if it had awakened from a long sleep, slow and steady, yet with an anticipation that Grace had never experienced. His words rang true, and for once her fear had dissipated, leaving her with a yearning for more.

  It was like meeting Xander for the first time. The words painted a clear picture as to who he was and his capacity for love. She carefully moved the paper aside so her tears, flowing heavily now, would not stain the paper and blur the words. Sobs ripped through her as if an ice dam had finally let go. She knew without a doubt she loved this man, but she would be damned if she knew what she was supposed to do next. Her first instinct was to hide away and not face him at all, knowing he would expect some sort of response from her. Her response at this moment was purely animalistic and she just wanted to feel his body next to hers, his heart to beat with hers as they allowed their love to finally come together. She carefully refolded the paper and slid it into the envelope. She carried it upstairs, holding it against her heart.

  Grace lay on her bed, holding close the envelope. She needed to feel it physically against her. The words were so potent she was having trouble processing it all. The emotion flowed so heavily through the words. Grace struggled to catch her breath just thinking of those words she had read in the kitchen. She was torn—torn between wanting to find Xander and have him hold her, or running away and never allow her heart to feel this way. It hurt almost physically from the need of wanting that love that was being so freely given by Xander.

  She pulled out the paper and reread the words one more time. The tears started to flow again and she closed her eyes and sobbed for all that she had missed already and all that she had held herself from because of her fear. Was it too late to have this?

  Chapter 31

  Xander drove into the driveway and found the Police Chief just starting up the stairs to the front door. He turned at the sound of the motorcycle and waited for Xander to approach.

  “What’s going on, Chief?” Xander approached and shook the chief’s hand.

  “Xander, just the person I was looking for.”

  “What’s up?” Xander leaned against the railing of the porch. “Progress in who set the fire?”

  The Chief shook his head and cleared his throat. “I do need you to come downtown with me though.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I have some questions for you.”

  “Come in and I’ll be happy to answer.”

  The Chief stepped down a step. “I think we should do this at the station.”

  “Why?” A cold chill ran through Xander.

  “Please, Xander, let’s not make this more difficult than it needs to be.” The Chief frowned.

  Xander shrugged. “I have nothing to hide. Can I let Grace know?”

  The Chief nodded. “She might want to come. I’ll need you to ride with me.”

  Xander headed up the stairs to Grace’s room, “Grace?”

  He heard the sobs quiet and he stood just outside the door, giving her some time. “What do you want?”

  “Fire chief is here.” Xander pushed the door open wider. “Are you okay?”

  Grace turned towards him, wiping her tears away. Her eyes were red from the tears she had shed. “Yes, I’m fine.” She stood from her bed and slid an envelope onto her nightstand.

  Xander recognized the envelope, but said nothing. He hadn’t intended to make her cry. His heart felt like it ripped apart as his eyes met hers.

  “Go ahead down. I’ll be right there.” She gave him a small smile.

  “Meet me at the Police Station. Chief wants me to go down there with him to answer some questions.”

  Grace stared at him. “Why?” Her voice shook and Xander felt her doubt penetrating the room.

  “I don’t know.

  The ride to the police station was quiet. Xander sat in the back seat of the police cruiser feeling like a criminal and wondering why he was being treated this way. The Chief kept glancing at him in the rearview mirror, but looking away every time Xander met his eyes.

  He was furious. He had done nothing and this was ridiculous. The doubt that was evident in Grace before he left the house sliced Xander to the core. He was led into an interrogation room. Xander remained silent as he slid into a chair and waited for the Chief to sit down across from him.

  “Xander, I’m sorry. It’s just routine procedure.” The Chief gave a half smile, trying to break the ice.

  “Routine procedure? Treating me like I did something wrong?” Xander shook his head.

  “Just a few questions and then I’m sure Grace will be here to pick you up. It won’t take long.”

  Xander nodded. This was the reason he never put down roots, never stayed in one spot long enough to be accused of anything – and he didn’t do much. He kept his nose in his own business and never started trouble. He learned his lesson from Abigail. She had taught him to stay clean and he could stay away from the trouble. It had worked – until now.

  He waited, silently. There was no reason to be agitated, or at least no reason to show his agitation.

  “One of my men found a jacket behind the barn. We took it and bagged it for evidence, but I’ve got to say…there was a name in the jacket, on the tag.”

  “Whose name?” Xander voice as soft, but icy.

  “Stevens.” The chief made eye contact. “Do you know anything about it?”

  Xander shook his head. “I’m not missing a jacket and I don’t put my name on my clothes. God, do you think someone is trying to frame me?” Disbelief ran through him. Who would do this to him?

  The Chief shrugged his shoulders. “You have to know how this looks. You never wanted to be back in this town and Abigail put you in quite a spot keeping you here.”

  “I would never do anything to ruin Grace’s chances of her inheritance.” Xander shook his head. “And what do you know about where I want to put my roots down? People change, grow up, circumstances…” Xander ran his fingers through his hair.

  * * *

  Grace had been slow to follow Xander to the police station. Her mind reeled with why the police wanted to question him. Fear gripped her. She berated herself for starting to open her heart to Xander and now this. How could she have fallen for him and his charm? She cleared her mind as she parked and started into the station. They had been expecting her, she realized when she was ushered into a conference room to wait for the chief.

  Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long with her wandering mind before a young officer came in.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  Grace shook her head. “Where’s Xander?”

  “He’s still talking with the chief, but they should be wrapping it up soon.” He settled into the chair across from her.

  “What’s this all about?”

  The officer smiled. “Chief will answer your questions soon.”

  Grace stood and paced the small room. There was nothing more she hated than to be cooped up in a confined space. Minutes passed, although they seemed like an hour, and Grace forced herself to stay calm when the door finally opened and in walked the chief and Xander.

  “Grace, sorry to keep you waiting.” Chief held out his hand to shake hers. Grace gripped it briefly and nodded.

  “Do I get to find out what’s going on?”

  “We can talk about it at home.” Xander turned towards the chief. “I am free to go now, right?”

  “Yes, of course. Thank you for being so cooperative.” Chief nodded and stepped aside so Grace and Xander could pass through the door. “Please stay close, Xander. We might have a few more questions.”

  Grace’s glance flitted between the chief and Xander. She felt she definitely missed something and was anxious to get Xander to the car to quiz him on what was going on.

  Once they were situated in the car and Grace had started it, she turned towards home. She tried to calm her thoughts, putting t
ogether in her mind what she wanted to say when truthfully all she wanted to do was let him have it for causing so much turmoil in her life.

  “Well?” She had no other words.

  “They found a jacket and apparently it had ‘Stevens’ in it so they questioned me about it being mind.” Xander shrugged.

  Fury raged through Grace at his blasé attitude. “What do you know about this?”

  “Nothing.” Xander met her eyes and uncertainty shone from them. “Gracie, please believe me.”

  “I don’t know what to believe.” She was silent the rest of the ride, not trusting herself to speak. Fear rose in her. Mother, what did you get me into?

  Finally arriving home, Grace bolted from the car and raced into the house. Xander caught up with her as she crossed the threshold into the foyer. Xander grabbed her hand and pulled her close as he stood and wrapped his free arm around her.

  “You know deep down I had nothing to do with this.” His words were spoken softly against her forehead. He felt the struggle going on within her as she stayed stiff in his arms, trying to fight what it was that was between them. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, another to each of her eyes. “It kills me to see you cry.”

  “I’m not crying,” she stated, though her eyes closed as she leaned against him. He felt the stress lift from her as she became soft and yielding to him. He let go of her wrist he had been holding and ran his hand up her side to pull her closer.

  “I love you, Grace.” The words were barely a whisper, but she nodded as she heard them. Although he couldn’t see her, he felt her stiffen slightly before relaxing again. He pulled back just a little so he could search her eyes. “Look at me.” The command was spoken with such gentleness, but she obeyed immediately.