Dethroning Crown

by Lila Felix

I called the one person who would know what I should do.

  “Tippi? Where is she?”

  She flew into frantic mode. “You don’t know?”

  “I’m outside of her hotel room.”

  “I don’t understand. What happened?”

  I took a deep breath and flattened my forehead against her door. “I screwed up.”

  “Let me call her. I will call you back.”

  I knocked while I waited for Tippi to call and to call me back. Minutes ticked by like hours of torment. If I could have one power it would be to see through walls just to know that she was okay.

  But then I’d be just another peeping Tom in her life.

  My phone buzzed in my hand and in my haste, I nearly dropped the damned thing.

  “What did she say?”

  “You bastard. You know how she felt about the pictures. She doesn’t demand much from us. But the one thing she does demand you fail her on. The only thing she asked you for was loyalty. It may not have been a part of your almighty deal, but it was part of it all the same.”

  “Is she here?” I ignored all of Tippi’s sanctimonious gabber. It wasn’t anything I didn’t know.

  “She’s at the hotel. Leave her alone. Go back to the only thing you’re good at and forget about her.”

  “But I love her.” My words only carried half of the desperation I’d hoped to convey.

  “Crown Sterling doesn’t love anyone but himself.” Those were her parting words before she hung up.

  I knocked again, knocked until my knuckles were on the verge of blistering.

  “Sir, you’re disturbing the other patrons. We’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

  Looking down, I saw the swift moving shadows underneath Lyra’s door. She’d called to report me. She wanted me to leave.

  I needed her to need me to stay.

  I thought about when we’d talked about that book she loved so much where the hero left her because he knew it was best.

  I’d never been anyone’s hero.

  Never would be.

  I was just me.

  With the rent-a-cop right on my heels, I went downstairs.

  This couldn’t be it.

  It couldn’t be.

  Things don’t end this way, do they?

  “Crown?”

  I followed the voice to find its owner none other than Davey, the man I’d once thought less than me.

  Who was I kidding? I had thought everyone was less than me.

  “Hey.”

  “What’s up man? We won. Don’t you usually party it up?”

  “I was about to ask you the same question.”

  He shrugged. “I’m married with kids at home. I’m headed home tomorrow. The party scene is not really my thing. You wanna get a drink?”

  “I didn’t know you were married.”

  “High school sweetheart. There’s a bar over there.” He pointed to the area beside the checkin desk.

  “I need a drink.”

  We sat down and if I hadn’t admired the kid before, I was downright jealous of him now. He’d done what I couldn’t—or just didn’t.

  There was no balance or well-roundedness in my life at all.

  There was soccer.

  And now there was Lyra and everything that came with her.

  Like life.

  “So what’s up? You look like someone killed your cat.”

  “Woman trouble.”

  He looked confused. I didn’t blame him one bit. We had a few drinks in silence. Well, I had three drinks to his one. That was when my mouth began to run out of control. I told him everything—about the deal—about Blake and my mother. By the time I’d finished talking, I’d thrown back seven vodka rocks on mostly an empty stomach.

  He said something about me having enough and calling me a cab.

  “I have to get her back. She thinks it was me.”

  “That’s not a good idea, Crown. You’re a little…”

  I stood abruptly. “All I have to do is tell her. She’ll listen to me. I have to tell her. I have to tell her.”

  “Why don’t you wait until tomorrow, buddy?”

  Buddy. Who was he calling buddy? One time someone got me one of those My Buddy dolls when I was a kid. My dad burned it because he said Crown Sterling doesn’t play with dolls.

  My eyes widened as I yelled. “That’s where I got it from. My dad! He always used to say shit like that whenever I did something wrong. Crown Sterling doesn’t share the glory. Crown Sterling doesn’t need friends.”

  Everyone in the room turned and stared as I had some kind of psychological breakthrough in the dingy bar of a hotel.

  “You’re coming with me.” I grabbed the hand of the man who I’d once considered my enemy and dragged him to the elevator with him protesting the entire way.

  “This is not going to end well, Crown.”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m just gonna tell her. It’s so simple. I’m just gonna tell her.”

  If I could insert the word tell one more time, that would be fantastic.

  I reached her door and just when I thought I’d figured everything out, I choked.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lyra

  Paul Revere

  I heard him as soon as he rounded the corner, hell the whole town could probably hear him then. Paul Revere held nothing on Crown. Screaming, desperate, woeful, needy yelling—my name. I turned the lock on the doorknob, twisted the deadbolt, and slid the chain into place as fast as I could—protection for me, not from him. It was my own routine in this place. Because just one call of my name from his lips and as soon as I chained the door into place I was down on my knees, already in tears. I quelled the sobs as he neared, my name and his love came out all in chest wracking sobs. It killed me to hear him so broken, to feel the cracking in my chest as he neared. A man who’d once ruled the world had been brought to his knees by someone who didn’t fit into his life and it pained me more than it should. I shifted, pinning my hands under my knees, having to physically stop myself from answering the door. Torture couldn’t be more painful than listening to him, now on the other side of the door, just inches away, professing love, apologizing for unknown trespasses, knocking and banging on the door of my hotel and the rock I’d slid in place protecting my heart.

  It was just a business deal.

  It was just a business deal.

  “Answer me, Lyra. Damn you, answer me.” He drawled out in a drunken slur.

  I opened my mouth to tell him to go away, to tell him to leave, to tell him I loved him, to tell him to stay. But I said nothing, only shoving the hoodie harder against my mouth. I couldn’t trust my heart not to force my tongue to tell him the truth. And I couldn’t trust my tongue to tell him the lies I needed him to understand.

  The pounding of my heart was the only competition to the wailing in the hallway.

  This was it. This had to be it.

  I reached for the first thing I could, a hoodie he’d given me with his name and number on the back. I balled it up and let it bear the brunt of my cries, unable to hold them back any longer. But he couldn’t hear me, he’d never go away if he did. He’d never go back to his life, his career, the path he loved if I gave him even one word of encouragement. What he felt for me was temporary. He’d get over it. He was better off without me. Isn’t that what she told me? Yes, that was it. He’d be better off, better at his game, better at his life without me.

  Minutes turned into hours and after one last plea for me and my heart, I heard him, my ear smashed against the door, slumped against my stoop—finally passed out. And with it, I lost all hope of anything outside of my life of paranoia.

  I opened the door the tiniest splice to make sure the slump I heard was him giving up.

  “He’s out.” Said some guy in the hall. I stepped back in, frightened at the stranger who seemed to be so privy to whatever Crown was doing.

  “Can you get him home?” I whispered, my eyes trained on Crown’s almost lifeless bod
y.

  “I don’t know where he lives.”

  “It’s on his license.” I responded with a little bit more ‘duh’ than I’d intended.

  “I’ll make sure he gets home.”

  “Thank you.”

  I moved back inside the room, giving Crown one last look before finalizing my goodbye.

  “He’s different.” The guy blurted in my direction.

  “Huh”

  “Since he came back. He’s different. Nice. He didn’t call me a dumbass once.”

  I snickered at his assessment. It was pretty bad that he considered that an improvement.

  “Are you the one I should thank for that? Are you Lyra?”

  “I am.”

  “Whatever he did—and I should say that he told me exactly what you think he did—somehow he gathered the courage to march up here, thinking that whatever he had to say trumped that action. Just something to take into consideration.”

  “It’s too late. It’s all too late.”

  He nodded and began to collect Crown, waking him up enough to make him walk along with him. Even after I’d closed the door, I heard him begin to yell my name again.

  The next morning, before anyone could find me again, I checked out before dawn and fled straight to the airport. I’d made the necessary calls to begin the process of freeing myself from who I’d been and now from Crown.

  After going through security, I called Tippi who I knew was up since she’d stayed on the phone with me most of the night.

  “The movers will be packing up everything today. I had Pauline book the flight and I’ve got all my passports.”

  “Breathe Lyra.”

  I hesitated for a moment, taking her advice. I found that no matter how much I breathed, my chest remained constricted.

  I’d always thought it was mental or emotional, missing someone—being in love—having the desire to be in another’s presence. But this sensation, this missing Crown regardless of his discretions was more physical than anything. Yes, my heart ached. Yes, I loved him and missed the way he looked at me.

  But my chest was constricting because I knew that I would never see him again.

  My chest was in pain because of the finality of the whole thing.

  Three hours later, I finally boarded the plane and though my mind was grateful that he hadn’t shown up, my heart was in agony. He’d forgotten already. He’d forgotten me and what I’d imagined we shared.

  It was all farce.

  When I got home, the place was bustling with activity. Boxes were being filled left and right and the only reason I felt comfortable with all those people in my home was because as of the next day, it would no longer be my home.

  Hours later, everything I loved was gone. My chairs, my bed, my books, and any lingering physical reminders of Crown.

  I could hardly remember how he held me on that chair. It seemed like years ago that I slept in his arms. It was like he’d never eaten at my table. I couldn’t even remember what his lips felt like on mine.

  I slapped my palm over my forehead.

  Of course I could. I remembered it all.

  “I didn’t think it would be this quick.” Tippi’s voice startled me and broke me free.

  “If they are paid enough, they move fast.”

  She sidled up beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. “What if he looks for you here?”

  It was the first time in days that I’d thought of Abraham and I found it strange that the person who’d occupied my thoughts the most had now taken a backseat.

  “He’ll find an empty apartment.”

  She let go and walked around the empty space making me laugh by testing out the echoing acoustics of the empty area.

  “And what if he asks me where you are?”

  “He won’t.”

  She shrugged and I was now afraid for Tippi’s safety. What if somehow Abraham found her?

  “Are you in love with him?”

  I turned an incredulous look on her while simultaneously it dawned on me that she was talking not about Abraham, but about Crown.

  I blushed without permission, balling my fists at my sides in frustration.

  “Don’t ask me that. There wouldn’t be any point in admitting such a thing.”

  “Would it make you stay?” Her sentence was ended with a whimper. In all this I’d been so selfish, so tunnel-visioned in my quest to find peace that I’d forgotten the impact it would have on the people around me.

  “You can come visit me.”

  She shrugged. “It won’t be the same.”

  “It’s a clean break. This was just the catalyst I needed to make the move. I need this for my peace of mind.”

  “I know.”

  A smile took over her face and I mimicked it. “Slumber party at my house!” She announced. “Ice cream, pizza, the works! Let’s pack the rest of your clothes and get out of this place.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Crown

  Lips Like Strudel

  I was on a plane two days later. I took a day to pack all my things. I only took what was necessary with instructions that the rest could be trashed or sold. I didn’t care.

  Lyra was already gone and my only priority was to get to her.

  The entire flight was spent reassuring myself that she would take me back if I could just convince her of the truth.

  I would do anything—anything—to win Lyra’s heart.

  Epilogue

  The flight attendant allowed me to hold Sally while we flew. She didn’t make a noise, instead slept most of the way and meowed a couple of times as we landed.

  “What’s the plan, Sally?” I’d picked her up from Aunt Chela’s house before I left even though she was supposed to give her away. They’d wished me luck and even made me somehow attempt to tell them how I really felt about Lyra. I thought it was less about wanting to know if I was going to hurt her more than actually being interested.

  I wouldn’t ever hurt her again—if I could help it.

  It turned out that I had a passport and thanks to Tippi, enough room on my credit cards to get to Germany on the first flight I could catch. Tippi had made me relay the same things I had to Uncle Eric.

  I knew they were looking for those three magic words, but I just wasn’t there yet. I knew that I couldn’t imagine living without her one more day. I knew that she was the sunrise in what had seemed like a life full of night. I knew that when I closed my eyes at night, I dreamed of her eyes and just holding her hand.

  But the truth was, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted or what the future held.

  And as selfish as it sounded, I wanted her to be with me while I discovered it.

  Tippi listened intently, and then when she was satisfied, told me where Lyra was and how to get to her.

  I got off the plane and shoved the hand-written directions to the cab driver outside of the airport in Frankfurt and he nodded once. I took it he understood where I wanted to go.

  We left the city soon and though I knew Lyra wasn’t a city girl, I had no idea how far out in the country we were going. The apartment buildings and offices turned into fields and simple country homes. I smiled thinking to myself that here, in the quiet and the sanctuary of this place, was where Lyra might finally find the peace she was looking for.

  And there I was, about to wreck it.

  Three or more hours later, he slowed in front of a faint yellow cottage with a garden off to the back. I had to handle the whole thing a specific way. After all, this girl was so afraid of anything even remotely stalkerish that I was afraid she’d see this whole thing as a play at the very thing that scared her most.

  That thought caused me so much pain now. My only wish in this world was to keep her safe and protected, hopefully next to me.

  I paid the cab and heard her humming to Fleetwood Mac somewhere in the backyard.

  “Come on, Sally, help me.”

  I put the kitten on the ground and in my mind, she
was supposed to run to Lyra. Lyra would gasp and run to me and forgive me for being me.

  She would forgive me for being Crown Sterling and all that meant.

  Instead, Sally just peed and began to chase something invisible floating in the wind.

  Thinking that I needed a buffer to soften the blow of me being here, I scooped up Sally and headed to the backyard. The worst thing she could do was tell me to leave.

  My heart skipped a beat just thinking about it.

  Yeah, I had a heart. Get over it.

  I walked around the side of the house and saw her sitting on a bench, admiring the view in front of her while drinking a cup of coffee. A book sat in her lap and after a few minutes she picked it up, sighed, and continued reading.

  I nearly turned around and left her there, caught in her bubble of serenity, and made my way back somewhere.

  We would cross paths again someday if we were meant to be.

  That’s what Uncle Eric had said.

  He said if it didn’t work she would come back to me one way or the other.

  I couldn’t wait for one day.

  But this wasn’t about me anymore.

  It was about Lyra. Somewhere down the line my focus had switched to her and now it was nothing but her.

  So, I turned around and left.

  Sally meowed her goodbye to Lyra as I turned around and went against everything my body was telling me not to do.

  Finally give Lyra the peace she wanted.

  “Crown?”

  I’d reached the front yard, ready to walk to the nearest place to get a ride when I heard the voice that called to me even when I wasn’t near her.

  “I’m sorry. I just came to give you Sally.”

  It was indecent how I could throw out such bullshit on a whim.

  “You flew to Europe to give me a cat?”

  When I turned, I lost sight of everything I’d practiced the whole flight here. I’d forgotten the things Tippi and Uncle Eric advised me to say. At that point, I didn’t even remember what country I was in.

  “Yeah. She missed you.”

  I had just made it worse.

  “Come here, sweet girl.” She walked over to me and I couldn’t move or breathe. The brightness she usually only showed me in her smiles now filled her eyes and stayed there, like it was okay for her to feel it all the time now. Sally went to her willingly and snuggled against her chest.