Soulmate

by Erin M. Leaf

  “Just because you’re monogamous doesn’t invalidate what you feel,” Theo said. He pursed his lips, not sure if he should push the topic. “Look, I just want a way to keep in touch with you.” He pulled out his cellphone. “It doesn’t have to be any huge thing.” He waited expectantly. “We could text. It’d be nice for me to have someone outside of Council politics to talk to.” That much, at least, was true. He very carefully didn’t mention the rest of it: that the man standing in front of him was his soulmate, and that he hoped to have Guy naked and begging sooner rather than later.

  Slowly, Guy pulled out his phone. “Texting?”

  Theo nodded. “Yeah, you know. I’ve heard it’s all the rage with young people, nowadays.” He grinned.

  Guy snorted. “I’m not that old. I know what texting is.” He held out his device. “Okay.”

  Theo took it so he could enter in his number, and then he texted Guy a simple Hi! from his phone, before giving it back.

  Guy looked down at the display. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” Theo repeated, and they both laughed.

  “The trail loops down the ridge line, over there.” Guy pointed. “It’s about forty minutes to get back to the trailhead.”

  “Lead the way,” Theo said, feeling as if the universe had suddenly expanded infinitely. Guy had accepted his number. He was okay with texting. Anything was possible. Theo smiled wryly, recognizing his natural optimism coming out. So long as it doesn’t get me in trouble.

  “Do you think that any other Empath I met in the past thought I was bi, too?” Guy asked when they’d gotten back under the treeline.

  “I doubt you’ve ever met another Empath. We’re a dying breed. I’ve never met another Empath,” Theo said, not sure why Guy was so hesitant about the whole bisexuality thing. “A Healer might be able to tell, though.”

  “No one ever said anything,” Guy said, rubbing his chin.

  Theo shook his head. “No one would. It’s rude. And Healers and Empaths don’t exactly enjoy being on the receiving end of negative emotions.” He shrugged. “If you didn’t know you were bi, and you were married, why would anyone bring it up?”

  “You seem very sure I’m bisexual.” Guy put his hands in his pockets.

  Theo paused on the trail. He could see the trailhead just up ahead. “Aren’t you?”

  Guy looked at him. “I was married for a long time.”

  “That’s not an answer.” Theo took a risk and stepped closer. “I know a great way for you to find out for sure.” He ignored the little voice in his head that was telling him not to be an impulsive idiot. He looked back down the trail and waved a “wait” signal to the two bodyguards trailing them. Julio had already reached the trailhead, and Theo knew he was checking out the car. They were as alone as they were going to get right now. And it’s just a kiss. It’s not like we’re going to have sex in the middle of a hiking trail.

  “How?” Guy asked, sounding wary.

  “I kiss you right here, right now. If you like it, you’re bi. If you don’t, you’re not.” Theo waited, knowing even as the words left his mouth that nothing in life was as simple as what he’d just suggested. He knew that even if Guy enjoyed the kiss, there would be some serious questions for his soulmate to wade through before he came out the other side. Guy had just spent most of his life thinking he was straight, and denying the feelings that were buried deep all along. And I know firsthand that it isn’t easy to change beliefs you hold onto too tightly, Theo mused, thinking of his parents. He shook off the bad memories. Now was not the time to dredge up that emotional shitstorm.

  “That’s crazy,” Guy said, half smiling, and half looking like a man about to run for the hills. “You could be a shitty kisser.”

  Theo smirked. Guy hadn’t said no. “I’m an Empath. I’m incapable of being a shitty kisser.”

  Guy laughed, as Theo had intended. “So the rumors about Empaths are true? They’re great in bed?”

  Theo didn’t reply. He let his silence speak for him.

  Guy ran a hand over the back of his neck. “This is crazy,” he muttered, repeating himself.

  Theo’s cock swelled as he sensed Guy’s tentative arousal. And fear. Don’t forget the fear, he thought, as his power instinctively reached out to his soulmate. Guy was the one person in the world he would never be able to block out. He sensed Guy’s attraction to him, and his anxiety, as well as his bone-deep weariness with being sad. The relaxation he’d felt just a little while ago on the trail lingered, too.

  “Yeah, okay. What the hell,” Guy said, stepping closer. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  Theo grinned. “You sound like a man trying to decide if he should try out a new taco, not a kiss.”

  “It’s just as terrifying,” Guy replied instantly. “You never know when a taco could be harboring one of those insanely hot peppers. I could get burned.”

  Theo reached out and put a hand on Guy’s shoulder, willing him to relax. “I’m not a habanero, Guy,” Theo murmured.

  “You might as well be,” Guy said, his voice catching.

  Theo moved his hand from Guy’s shoulder to his cheek. “Shh.”

  Guy’s eyes widened.

  Theo put his thumb on Guy’s lips and sensed a sudden spike in the older man’s arousal. Here goes nothing, he thought, just before he leaned in and kissed his soulmate for the first time.

  Chapter Three

  Guy froze as Theo’s lips touched his. Theo’s mouth was soft and expressive, and so damned hot he thought he might go up in flames if he moved even an inch. He stood there, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him, when suddenly his Craft power lit up through his body. Energy rushed through him, and he reached out to grab Theo’s arms. He meant to push him away, but he found himself clutching at the younger man as if he were a life raft and Guy was drowning.

  “Easy,” Theo murmured against his mouth.

  “Fuck.” Guy kissed him back, searching for … what? He had no idea. All he knew was that he’d never felt so damned aroused in his life. His cock shoved against his pants, hard and hot and insistent. He groaned when Theo slid his hands into his hair and kissed him again, licking into his mouth with intent. They were the same height, so Guy didn’t have to crane his neck down the way he’d had to in order to kiss Pamela. It was strange. Hot. More than that, though, he felt unbalanced. Confused.

  Theo gentled the kiss and pulled back. “There.”

  There? Who was the man kidding? Guy stared at him. Was Theo as stunned as he was? The younger man’s mouth looked red and slightly swollen. I did that to him, Guy thought, and then, But I’m straight.

  “Dammit,” Theo muttered, and then he stepped closer and kissed Guy again.

  This time, Theo pressed himself up against Guy’s torso, and for the first time in his life, Guy felt another man’s hard-on against his hip. “Jesus,” he gasped, unable to stop his body’s instinctive thrust forward. He grabbed Theo’s arms again, absently reveling in the man’s strength, and pulled him closer. “What the fuck is happening?”

  Theo answered by biting Guy’s lower lip.

  Guy moaned into Theo’s mouth, and walked them back until the younger man’s body hit the sturdy oak tree at the edge of the trail. Guy’s Craft flared again, and the tree shuddered as his energy hit it, but then Theo slid his tongue into his mouth and he didn’t care about anything except the younger man coaxing him to open himself wide. He did, and Theo bit him again. Guy’s erection swelled, and he gasped. He slid his hands down Theo’s arms to his hips.

  “Oh, God,” Theo said, head thunking back against the tree as Guy pushed into him.

  Guy understood. He’d never wanted to grab a man’s ass before, but now he couldn’t help himself. Theo seemed to be built just right for Guy’s hands. He squeezed, panting. He was right on the edge of coming, and he didn’t think he’d be able to hold off. “This is a hell of a lot more than a kiss, Theo. Jesus.” He panted, forehead on Theo’s shoulder. In this position, he
could look down their bodies and see their erections grinding into each other. Even with their clothes in the way, it was hot.

  Theo laughed, and then he choked when Guy flexed his fingers again, digging into the younger man’s delicious ass. Guy had dreamed about sexual encounters with men, sure, but he also dreamed about women. He hadn’t thought anything about it since he was young, and then he’d met Pamela. They’d fallen for each other their sophomore year of high school, and he’d been happily married for decades. Now, in the middle of his forty-fifth year, here he was, rutting up against another man in the middle of a public hiking trail.

  “We’re in public,” he managed to say, forcing himself to stop grinding against Theo. If someone snapped a picture of them going at it hot and heavy in full view of anyone… He grimaced, both at the thought of being outed when he still wasn’t sure he was actually bi, and at the thought of what that would do to Theo’s public image.

  “I’m not sure I care,” Theo said roughly. “It’s not like I’m in the closet.”

  Guy groaned, and then made himself let go of the younger man. He stepped back. “My God, you look…” He trailed off, at a loss for words. The truth was, Theo looked wrecked. His dark hair was a mess, and his mouth looked like someone had been gnawing on it. Because someone was, Guy thought as hysterical amusement pushed through him. Me.

  “Shit.” Theo blinked, then inhaled a long slow breath. After a moment, he let it out again. Guy watched him smooth his hair down. Theo looked a bit more put together after that, but then Guy’s gaze dropped to Theo’s groin. Nothing in the world was going to disguise that erection. He found himself wondering what it would feel like against his lips.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” Theo said, voice low. “I’ll never get a grip on myself if you keep that up.”

  Guy yanked his gaze away, willing himself to think about football stats, or the flu, or anything except how much he wanted to strip Theo naked and fuck him up against the tree. Which is just insane. I’ve never felt this way before, let alone about another guy. He looked up, thinking that maybe he could focus on the tree to get himself under control, and then he froze, shocked to his core. The oak tree had a curved pattern carved into its trunk that hadn’t been there a moment ago. It looked like the bark had grown that way, but Guy knew it hadn’t. Guy knew that he had done it with the energy that surged through him as they’d kissed. “Shit,” he breathed, as his gift reached out and caressed the bark. He blinked, then wrestled the energy back under control. “Shit!”

  “Whoa,” Theo said, stepping away and looking up. “That’s astonishing.”

  Guy licked his lips, abruptly scared out of his skin. The pattern engraved in the trunk looked like the kind of shapes a WoodCrafter formed into a soulmate ring. It wasn’t anything formal, no words, or distinct patterns, but rather, it looked like a stylized version of what the soul of a tree would look like if everyone could see it. “That’s impossible,” he said, knowing even as the words fell out of him that they weren’t true. It was possible. He was looking at the evidence. He reached out and touched the bark, almost flinching as the tree murmured serenity back to him.

  “No, not impossible.” Theo didn’t sound surprised.

  Guy looked at the younger man. “You know what this is?”

  Theo glanced at him, eyes carefully neutral. “So do you, Guy.”

  Guy shook his head, stepping back onto the trail. “No.”

  Theo looked at him for a long moment, and then he shrugged. “We’re almost to the trailhead.”

  Guy stared at him. How could Theo be this blasé, after that kiss? And the tree?

  Theo smiled softly and touched his arm. “Don’t overthink it.”

  Guy scowled as he shrugged him off. Energy bounced between them, and he rubbed at his elbow. “My entire world just turned itself inside out, and that’s your advice?” Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he wasn’t being very cool about this, but he couldn’t seem to help it. Guilt pricked at him: guilt because he felt like he’d betrayed his wife, and guilt because he enjoyed that kiss way too much. Guilt because he was acting like an asshole, and Theo didn’t deserve it.

  “I promised you a kiss, and I followed through.” Theo put his hands in his pockets. “Answers, though? Those you’ll have to give to yourself.” He began walking down the trail. “Would you like to meet for lunch sometime?” He pulled out his phone and tapped the display. “I’ll be in town for an hour on Friday around noon.”

  Guy followed him, confused and aroused and vaguely frightened. “Lunch?” he repeated, not quite sure what Theo actually wanted.

  “Yes. You know, that thing that happens in the middle of the day where we eat stuff?” Theo teased.

  Guy flushed. “You’re awfully calm about this.”

  Theo stopped just at the edge of the woods and waited for Guy to catch up to him. “I’m not calm. I’m excited and worried and really fucking horny,” he said, low and intense. “I want you, but more than that, I want you to be okay.” He touched the top of Guy’s hand.

  This time, Guy didn’t flinch when static jumped from the younger man to him. “I can’t promise you anything. And I’m not gay.”

  Theo sighed. “It’s just lunch.”

  Guy found himself nodding before his conscious mind had entirely processed Theo’s response. “Fine.”

  “Noon?”

  Guy swallowed, imagining his son’s reaction when he told him he was going to have lunch with a guy he’d met hiking. “Sure. You can come see my shop.”

  Theo’s smile rocked Guy’s world. Again. “Excellent. I’ll bring sandwiches.” He waved to the bodyguard waiting near a nondescript black SUV, and then he tucked his phone back into his pocket. “I’ve got to run. Rose canceled my early afternoon appointment, but I’ve got a meeting later, and we’ll have just enough time to get to the office if traffic doesn’t snarl up on the interstate. Wish me luck.”

  “Good luck,” Guy said obediently. His head was full of static and racing thoughts and near panic. Between the oak tree remaking itself, the kiss, and the way his Craft energy still simmered just under his skin, he didn’t know what to think or do. He inhaled deeply, trying to settle down. It didn’t help.

  “It was a fun hike. Thanks for letting me tag along,” Theo said, like he was just some casual acquaintance and they hadn’t just nearly had sex up against a tree. He held out his hand.

  Guy stared at it, and then slid his palm against Theo’s. Heat rocketed between them, and this time, they both flinched. Guy let go, resisting the urge to massage his fingers.

  “Damn,” Theo said, shaking out his hand. He gave Guy a grin, and headed for the car.

  Guy watched him go, only barely registering the two bodyguards who’d been following them brush past to get to Theo. What the hell did I just agree to? he thought. He watched Theo get into the back of the SUV, and then he watched the vehicle drive away. It was only then, as he slowly walked to his car, that he let himself think about what he’d been denying for the past hour: he wasn’t straight, and Theo wasn’t just some guy he could be friends with.

  ****

  “Okay, I’ve got a few minutes before the next appointment. What was so important that you had to corner me in my office?” Jonathan asked, looking confused. “I mean, we’re still getting together Friday night, right? What was so important it couldn’t wait until then?”

  Guy rubbed his face, wishing he had a better way to explain this to his son. He’d driven straight to his son’s veterinary practice from the hiking trail. “So, I met a guy while I was out hiking.”

  His son leaned back in his chair. “Okay? So?”

  “He’s a Delegate, and he was recording some sort of public service thing about the outdoors,” Guy said. He knew his son had no idea what the problem was, and he steeled himself to try to explain.

  “Dad. A PSA doesn’t an emergency make,” Jonathan said, steepling his hands on his desk. “I’ve got a dog who ate an entire box of chocolate tru
ffles coming in, and a cat in the back who had an impacted turd. Those are emergencies.” When Guy didn’t say anything, he leaned back. “What’s really going on?”

  “He asked for my number.” Guy swallowed. He wasn’t really bi, was he? And then he remembered the arousal he absolutely could not control when Theo kissed him. Jesus. He grabbed his water bottle and took a healthy swig. Maybe it would help. And maybe it wouldn’t, he thought, picturing Theo’s mouth all red and wet.

  “Your number,” Jonathan said, and then he tilted his head. “Like, as in maybe he’s going to ask you out?”

  Guy nodded, and then waited for his son’s response.

  Instead of replying right away, Jonathan gave him a look he couldn’t interpret.

  “What?”

  “Did you give him your number?”

  “We’re going to have lunch on Friday.” Guy waited a moment, and then added, “He’s nice.”

  “Nice?” Jonathan laughed out loud. “He sounds like a miracle worker, if you ask me. He got you out of the house. That’s great.”

  “Technically, we’re meeting at the shop for lunch. So, I won’t be out of the house.” Guy frowned. “And I’m not gay.”

  Jonathan snorted, eyes dancing with amusement. “Uh huh.”

  What the hell was his son implying? “I was married to your mother for a long time, Jonathan,” Guy said repressively. “Happily married, I might add.”

  “Mom told me that you’re bi,” Jonathan said.

  Guy choked on the sip of water he’d just taken. Pamela knew? How? When? He’d been so in love with her, it never even occurred to him to talk to her about his fleeting attraction to the odd guy here and there. He’d just chalked it up to aesthetic appreciation. He was an artist. He’d never thought of himself as bisexual, but his wife had? He coughed, eyes watering. When he finally got himself back under control, he glared at his son. “When did she tell you that?”

  “I was a teenager, and I asked her about bisexuality, and she explained way more than I wanted to know at the time.” Jonathan smirked. “However, she did mention that being bi didn’t mean that someone wanted to be with both a man and a woman at the same time, because that’s what I was confused about. I didn’t believe her. I thought it meant that someone like that would never be happy with just one or the other.”