He laughs at me. “You’re not that dumb, are you? She let you go so you could be a family. She did that for you. Moron.”
The realization hits me in the middle of my chest like a gunshot. “But I don’t want Sandie, I want her.”
“Did you tell her that? Did you tell her all of this?”
I just shake my head. No, I didn’t. I didn’t even try. I just took it and left.
“I’m going to see her,” I tell him, getting up, ready to walk out the door to see her.
“You have a visitor,” he says and motions to the backyard with his head.
I look past him to see Lori sitting on a chair staring over the water, her notebook in her hand. “She has been here every single day for the last five days. She sits out there till about noon and then she meets that Trevor kid.”
I walk past him right to the back door, opening it and walking down to the water. She is holding her pen in her hand, her notebook open, but she is looking out into the distance, the water current soft, the waves rippling onto the rocks. “Hey,” I tell her, and she looks over at me. Tears fill her eyes when she sees me.
She gets up, her notebook falling to the ground as she rushes to me and hugs me around my waist, her head under my chin.
“You okay?” she says. The worried tone in her voice slices through me.
I kiss her head while rubbing her back. “Of course I’m okay.”
“You told me I could come here any time I wanted. Is that still okay?” she whispers. The wind blows her hair around my face.
“There is nothing I would like more.”
She moves away from me, going to pick her notebook, and sitting down in the chair while I sit in the other one next to her. “Mom cries,” she says, looking at the water still. “Every night, she tries to hide it, but I can hear her.”
I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. “I love her.”
“I know,” she says. “Is it true? Is someone having your baby?” She turns to me and asks me with tears coming down her face.
“Who told you? Did your—” I don’t even finish the sentence when she shakes her head no.
“I saw you at the hospital with a woman. I went there to sign up to volunteer. She said she’s having your baby.”
“Yes, she’s having my baby. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I love your mother.”
She shakes her head. “She won’t do it. She won’t let you back in. She refuses to stand between a family. My father came back four years ago. Said he was a changed man, stayed maybe a week till a woman knocked on our door. She was seven months pregnant. She begged him to come home to her. That night my mother had the locks changed and told him to go back to his family. I asked her why and she said ‘sometimes you just need a push to see where you belong and that baby belongs with a mother and a father.’ We never spoke about him again. So I know she won’t do it.”
I let her words sink in. Make it penetrate.
She gets up, looking at her watch. “I have to go, Mick. Can I still come back?”
“I’ll have a key made for you so you can go inside whenever you want,” I tell her, hugging her and watching her walk out of the yard with her head down.
I make my way inside where Jackson is sitting reading the paper while drinking coffee.
“How did it go?” he asks, putting the paper down.
“She won’t change her mind,” I tell him, sitting in front of him, my body slumping forward.
“So now what?”
“Now I call a lawyer and find out my rights. I wait for Sandie to fuck up, because we both know she will, and then I hope to fuck Marissa will take me back.” I exhale, thinking about the fucking mountain I’m going to have to climb.
I spend the rest of my day on the phone calling family lawyers. I spend the rest of the week interviewing them. Then I finally cave and drive by the diner to see her. Her face is beautiful like the sun after a rain shower. She looks thinner, but she smiles more. Just a touch more. I watch her walk out to her car, opening the door and reaching inside to take out a white rose. She looks around, smiling and smelling it while she makes her way home.
The fear that she has moved on has been on my mind, but to see it. Destroys me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Marissa
For two weeks, every single time I get out of work I find the rose waiting for me. I try to look out all day to see him, to get a glimpse of him, but I never catch him.
Making my way home, I walk into the house while Lori and Trevor sit at the table doing their homework together.
“Hey, guys,” I say, bringing the groceries and putting them on the counter.
Trevor gets up to help me.
“You should have called me. I would have brought them in for you.” He unpacks them all and puts them on the counter while Lori puts them away.
“It’s okay. It wasn’t that much. Did you guys eat already?” I ask them, walking to the sink to wash my hands.
“Yup. We just had a couple of burgers with some other kids from school,” she says while placing things into the fridge. “Hey, Mom.”
“Yeah, honey.” I look out into the yard.
“There is this party on Saturday at this girl Farah’s house. Is it okay if we go?”
I look over at her. “Do you want to go?” I know it’s a big step for her.
“Yeah. I think so. Trevor and I said we should try it. And if either of us feels anything we leave.”
I wipe my hands and look over at both of them. “This is a big step for you, guys. Going there. Will there be alcohol served?” I ask them both.
“It doesn’t matter if there is alcohol. I’m not drinking and Trevor is driving, so he’s not drinking.”
I look over at Trevor, who nods at me.
“I don’t drink,” is all he says.
“Okay, if this is what you guys want to do. Then go. I’m just saying that if you feel out of place or you feel pressured to do anything, I want you guys to call me.” I point at both of them.
Lori comes over and kisses my cheek, and Trevor follows, kissing the other, mimicking Lori.
“Okay, guys, I’m going to shower and hang out in my room. Close up when you’re done, okay?”
I walk upstairs, closing my door, and go into the shower. Once I’m dressed and ready for bed, I open my door and hear the television playing downstairs.
I get into bed, turning on the TV, switching channels for something good to watch. I’m about to turn it off and go to bed when I hear my phone signal a text message.
It’s from Daniel.
I heard the kids are going out on Saturday night. Want to do coffee so I can talk you off the ledge?
I laugh at the text only because I would probably be on the ledge, so coffee with him might be just what I need to do. He can talk me through this.
Sure!
Great. I’ll text you Saturday afternoon to set up a time and place.
Have a great night. Is the only thing I answer back.
I close the lights, turning my head on the pillow and looking at the stars outside. It’s become my routine. Watching the stars twinkle. Watching them slowly fade into the darkness.
My dreams are vivid and so real. I feel him touch my face, rub my neck. I feel him kiss my lips. The kiss lingers. I want to touch him, but I can’t get to him. I can’t reach out. I finally stir away, looking around till my eyes land on the silhouette of someone in my doorway. “Lori?” I ask, turning around to open my light. With the light on, I can see that there isn’t anyone there.
I get out of bed, going to Lori’s room and seeing that she’s sleeping. I walk downstairs, checking the front door and the back door. The back door is locked, but the door isn’t shut properly. I close the door and make my way over to the window to look out into the dark night.
I walk back upstairs, but my mind is not shutting down. Every single time I hear a crack or a creak I get up.
The minutes turn in
to hours. Finally at six a.m. I get up and start the laundry. It’s my day off and I wanted to sleep in. I put a load in the washer and then start some coffee. Since I’m home, I take out the things to start pancakes. Lori wanders downstairs a little after seven, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
“Hey, Mamma.” She tries to sit on me, curling up, but she’s bigger than me, so we almost fall off the chair, laughing.
“You are going to squish me,” I tell her, pushing her off me.
She walks over to the couch where she throws herself on it. I get up and walk to the living room, leaning on the doorjamb. “You know that you left the back door open last night?” I tell her.
She looks up from the pillow, her eyes wide. “No, I didn’t. I checked them right before I went to bed.”
I shrug. “It was locked, but not closed all the way.” I take a sip of coffee. “I had a nightmare, woke up, and thought I saw someone’s shadow. Must have been my eyes playing tricks on me.”
“That is so weird. I thought I saw someone the other night. Now I’m definitely freaking out,” she says, sitting up.
I shake my head at her, rolling my eyes. “Okay, well, just from now on make sure that you see if the door is really closed.”
I turn around, going to make pancakes. We sit down and have breakfast just the two of us.
“I spoke with Mick,” she says while playing with her food.
“Okay,” I say while my heart beats fast and my hands get clammy. “Is he okay?”
She nods. “He misses you.”
I shake my head at her.
“Mom, I think you should listen to him.”
A tear escapes, running down where I rub it off halfway down my face. “No, Lori. I will not be that woman who takes a dad away from them. I will not be the reason the family won’t be together. I wouldn’t do it back then, I’m not doing it now. Besides, I’m actually enjoying having a good job, loving my job, and being a pain in the ass to my daughter.” I laugh at her, trying to make light of the conversation.
“So what are you doing tonight while we go to the party?” she asks me, dropping the subject of Mick.
“I’m going to go have coffee with Daniel. He texted me last night.” I get up to go put my dish in the sink. “Wash the dishes for me. Did you want to go out and get a new outfit for your party?”
“No, it’s not that big of a party. I spoke to Farah. There are only about twenty people coming. Mom?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“I’m scared,” she says, her voice low.
I walk to her and hold her. “Baby, it’s normal. This is a huge step. But you know that you have Trevor there and you have me, a phone call away.”
She looks up at me, wiping tears from her eyes.
“The minute you think or feel out of it, you call me and I will fly there if I have to.” I kiss her nose. “On my broom stick no less.”
She smiles at me, and I take her cheeks in my hands, kissing her all over her face till she giggles. It’s music to my ears.
Later that night she dresses in her tight jeans and sweater with her black Chucks. She kisses me on the cheek, running out the minute Trevor gets there. They both look at me and wave.
I get up to dress and get ready to meet Daniel. I decide to wear tight jeans and a black ruffled shirt with black wedges. I choose my gold loop earrings, putting on just lip-gloss.
My eyes are still sunken in from the last three weeks. I’ve lost about ten pounds, which I’m trying to gain back. Right when I’m about to walk out the door, I get a text from Lori saying she has gotten there.
I get into the car, driving over to the coffee shop that Daniel wants to try out.
We sit down, telling each other stories of the past. It’s a carefree conversation. Till my phone rings three hours later, Lori’s name showing up on my phone. My heart stops. My back shoots up.
“Mom, Mom, please. I’m scared. I’m locked in the bathroom. I can’t find Trevor. He left to drive someone to the store. But, Mom, people are drinking, and some are getting sick. Mom,” she sobs out. “Please.”
“Where are you? I need to know where you are.” I get up, running to my car, Daniel fast on my heels.
“I’ll drive,” he says, getting into the car.
“Lori, baby, you need to share your location with me so I can come find you, please,” I beg out, the fear of not seeing her again overwhelming me. The phone beeps with an incoming message from Lori. “I’m coming. Okay, baby? It says we should be there in twenty minutes. Okay, you can keep talking to me on the phone.” I take my phone from my ear, looking at the screen and it says call failed.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I yell out, wanting to smash my phone. The frustration of not being about to get there fast is too much for me.
For twenty minutes, I sit and watch the world go by while I hold my breath.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Mick
I’m standing in the meat section, deciding if I should do T-bone or rib eye. I should just throw this back and go to the diner, but the fact that I would come face-to-face with Marissa and maybe a boyfriend is too much for me.
I throw both steaks into my basket, walking to the checkout line when the phone rings. Once I look I see it’s Lori. A smile comes over me.
“Hey, beautiful girl.”
“Mick,” she whispers, and I hear the fear and trembling in her voice. My blood turns cold, my basket falls to the floor, and I’m running. “Mick, I’m so scared.”
“Okay. I’m going to link you with the station, okay, baby?” I put her on speakerphone and add a call to the conversation, calling into the precinct. Thomas answers on the other line. I link the calls. “Talk to me, baby girl, where are you?”
“I’m at a party. But then people started drinking, so I started standing more and more in a corner. The guy who I came here with went to the store with another guy. But now people are getting sick, Mick, so I ran to the washroom. Mick,” she cries out. “I’m sitting in the tub,” she wails out. “Mick, please.”
“I need the address, baby girl. Give me the address. I’m in the car.”
“I don’t know it. I don’t know it, I just shared the location with my mom.” she whispers then we hear banging on the door. She wails out even more.
Thomas breaks in. “We just got a call for an ambulance at a house in the Newtown district. They are saying that numerous kids are sick and one is convulsing. The owner’s daughter is called Farah. Is that where you are?”
“Yes, Farah, that is the one who is throwing the party,” she says out loud.
Thomas shoots me the address, and I see I’m four minutes away.
“Lori, Lori, are you there?” I look down at the phone. The phone is dead. I smash it on the wheel. “Piece of shit.”
I arrive at the same time as the ambulance and a police car. I take out my badge, running in, yelling for Lori. I walk into the room where four kids are throwing up, while another five I count are passed out on the couch. There are a couple of girls crying in the corner. I do a fast sweep of the room, yelling her name. I walk over to a door that is closed and locked, and bang on it, calling Lori. The door swings open and she runs into my arms, collapsing in them. She fists my shirt in her hands, holding on for dear life. “I have you, baby,” I say, carrying her outside and sitting with her on the grass. I see Marissa arrive with tears in her eyes. She looks around frantically, so I yell for her, and she sees me and runs to us, falling to her knees in front of us while she holds on to Lori, who is holding on to me.
She keeps rubbing her head, looking at her face and kissing her.
“Marissa,” I hear and look up to see a guy who is standing there wearing fucking khakis and a sweater vest. “Lori,” he says, getting on his knees also next to us. “Where is Trevor?” he asks, looking around.
Marissa looks up at him and then looks around for Trevor. I see Thomas arrive with Jackson right behind him, followed by Chris.
They see me, so they start walking over to me.
“What do we have?” Thomas asks while Jackson takes in the scene. Kids being brought out on stretchers, frantic parents arriving as well as Farah’s mother followed by fucking Sandie. What the fuck is going on right now?
Jackson sees Sandie then makes sure I’m okay. We don’t have much time to say anything before there is a kid running over to us yelling for Lori. Her hands don’t let go of my shirt. He falls down next to us. “Shit, Lori, I’m so sorry. It took longer at the store than I thought. What happened? What is going on?” He looks around, his eyes trying to get everything that is going on.
“You left me,” Lori says, “and then people started to drink that punch. They tried to give me a glass, but I didn’t take it. They called me a prude, so I just stayed by myself. I texted you.” She lays her head on my chest.
“I’m so sorry. I forgot my phone in the car while we went into the store. Then I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. I told you to come. You said you would be okay. Marissa, I would have never left her if I thought she was in danger.” He looks like he’s about to cry. The sweater vest dude grabs his shoulder and squeezes it.
“Why don’t we give them space, Trevor?” He looks over at Lori. “Do you need anything?”
She shakes her head no, still not letting go of me. “Okay, Trevor, let’s get you home.”
“We are going to have to take his statement before you leave,” Chris chimes in. “We have six kids on their way to the hospital. We need to know what went on here tonight.” He leads him to the side where he starts asking him questions, but his eyes never leave Lori.
“It’s okay, princess, I have you.” I squeeze her, Marissa is still rubbing her hair, watching her. Her eyes finally move up to meet mine. If I thought I was living through hell before, it’s nothing compared to the hell I’m going through not to reach out and touch her. Not to be able to hold her at the same time. Not to reach out and kiss her lips and promise her the world.
“Oh, well, isn’t this a picture perfect family.” I hear and I look up, and by the time I look back down at Marissa, her face is white and pale. “It’s good to know where your priorities are for me and your daughter,” she continues.
Pieces Of Heaven: Pieces Of Heaven (Heaven & Hell Book 2) Page 18