“Trevor. He’s parking the car. We went to the library today. It was really cool. I checked online for some courses I might be interested in taking.” She sits down.
“Really? That is fantastic news.” I sit in front of her.
The bells over the door ring again and Trevor walks in. He looks around for Lori and the minute that he sees her, his face lights up.
“Hi, Ms. Marissa.” He sits down next to Lori.
“Please call me Marissa. Do you guys want something to eat?”
Lori looks at him. “Want to share a burger?”
“Sure,” he says.
I put in the order and listen to them talk about the books that they looked up and about picking one to read together.
I place the order in front of them with an extra dish. “So what else are you guys up to this afternoon?”
“We are going to a meeting,” Lori says while dipping her fries into ketchup. “Can Trevor pass by tonight after we get back from Bella and Jackson’s? We want to watch The Walking Dead together.”
“Um, sure.” I look at her and then at Trevor, who is dipping his fries in ketchup also.
When they finish Trevor takes out his wallet to pay, but I shoo it away. I watch them walking out, his hand in the middle of her back, protecting her.
I finish and prepare for the dinner shift and for my plans afterward. Almost one day gone and I only thought of him one million times. Tomorrow, tomorrow will be easier.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mick
I watch her lights fade. Watch her drive away. Watch her slip through my fingers.
I turn to walk back into the house. Sandie. Fucking Sandie. Sitting at my dining room table eating my fucking pie. I glare at her.
“I usually hate sweets, but since I found out I’m pregnant it’s all I can eat.”
“How far along are you?”
“Sixteen weeks.”
“How are you almost halfway done and you are just coming to me now?”
“I got my period for the first three months and then I started feeling sick and tired. I went in and they told me two weeks ago. I tried to get in touch with you, but you were with that trashy old whore, so—”
I rip the pie away from her. “Let’s get this straight. Marissa is off-limits. You do not talk about her, you do not mention her. She has more class in her little toe than your whole body.”
She lets out a laugh. “Really, I’m carrying your child.”
“How do you know it’s mine? You’re married.”
“He had a vasectomy after Jason Jr. was born because we didn’t want any other kids. Surprise, surprise,” she says.
“We always wore condoms,” I tell her, my head going a million miles a minute. So much to process.
“It’s not always effective. Trust me, Mick, I didn’t want to do the mommy thing again.”
She looks around then back at me. “When do you want to go pick up my stuff?”
I look at her. Like really look at her.
“Pick your stuff where?” I ask her.
“Well, I can’t live with Jason while I’m pregnant with another man’s child.” She rolls her eyes like I’ve asked her the stupidest question.
“Where are you living?” I ask.
She opens her hands. “I’m moving in here. Obviously, we are going to be together. It’s what we always wanted.”
“Are you insane? You aren’t moving in here. We will raise this child together, but we will never be together again. Sandie, get it through your head. It’s over.”
“Please,” she says, almost like it’s the most unbelievable thing she’s ever heard. “You can’t just toss me out. You love me.”
“No, I loved you. Fuck, now that I know what love is, I tolerated you. What we had was nothing. It was a good night. That is what it comes down to in the end.”
She slams her hand on the table. “I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m fucking here. I left my husband for us.”
I look at her and laugh. “You didn’t leave shit. You got caught with your pants down.” Fuck, I get up, shaking my head. “Okay, time for you to go.”
She looks shell-shocked. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“Fuck if I know. Where were you staying yesterday?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
“At my parents’.”
“Good. Go back there.” I walk to the door, hoping to fuck she follows me and I don’t have to go back and drag her out.
“MMIIIIICCCCKKKKK, come on,” she whines.
“I’ll unblock your number. Text me when you are going to go to the doctor. I’ll meet you there.”
She walks up to me. Her hand goes up to touch my face, and I grab her wrist.
“My kid. That is the only reason I will tolerate you.”
She stomps out the door, and I close it before she turns around to moan again.
I take my phone out of my pocket and text Marissa to call me. I then text Lori to make sure she got home okay.
It’s five minutes later till Lori texts me back.
Mom’s home. She came in crying.
Is she okay? I text back immediately.
She went off to bed. Did you guys have a fight?
You could say that. I’ll talk to her tomorrow.
I then send another text to Marissa. And then another and then another. I go upstairs and lie in my bed. The ache in my chest feels like my heart is being shattered. I feel it all through my body.
No way is this the end of us. No way will I let her walk away. No way will I get over her. It’s the last thought I have before sleep claims me, sucking me in.
In my dreams, I hear her laughter, see her smile, chase her while she laughs, but the minute I can touch her she disappears, leaving me searching for her. Leaving me empty, alone.
I wake up before the alarm clock. Checking my phone, I have nothing from Marissa. No surprise there. I knew she wouldn’t text me back.
I get up and head to the gym where the bag takes all the frustration I have to give. The day passes with no news from Marissa. Not a word. I text Lori, but all she says is her mom is at work.
I start to text Marissa again for the tenth time today when Sandie starts calling.
“What?” I answer.
“Hey, I’m going to the hospital.”
I get up, nervous and scared. “Why?”
“I started spotting, so they wanted to make sure the baby was okay. Something about stress. Mick, I’m scared,” she says in a whisper.
“It’s going to be okay, Sandie, I’ll meet you there.” I rush out of the office without telling anyone anything and make it to the hospital right before they call her in.
“What happened?” I ask her while walking into the room that has a table in the middle and a huge machine next to it. She gets up on the table that is more like a chair.
“I started spotting this morning. So I called my doctor. He said he would meet us here,” she says, and then there is a knock on the door the doctor comes in.
“Mrs. McGuire, you said you started spotting. When was this?”
“It started late last night, then this morning there were little drops and it became more as the day went on.”
“Okay, let’s see what’s going on,” he says when she leans back, pulling up her shirt. Her stomach starts to stick out. He pours blue gel on her then takes a wand from the machine, placing it on her stomach.
The next thing I know it sounds like horses galloping with swooshing. He moves it a little and in the middle of the screen, I see my child. The arms moving like it’s waving.
He starts clicking things on the machine. “The amniotic fluid is perfect. Her heartbeat is strong.”
“Her,” I say, looking at the monitor, taking her in. She’s perfect.
“You’re going to have a daughter.” With that, he takes a towel and wipes off her stomach. “I’m going to say that stress might have played a factor in this. We will monitor you at the next month’s exam as well. If you have
any cramping, you are to come in right away.”
“Thank you, Dr. Bray,” Sandie says, pulling her shirt down.
The doctor hands me a picture right before walking out. “For you.” And then leaves.
I look down at the picture. She is no bigger than my hand, but I love her with everything I have.
“I’m hungry,” Sandie says, standing next to me, looking at the picture. “I’m thinking we go eat at the diner. What do you say?”
“No. Choose somewhere else.” Just the thought of seeing her makes my heart beat.
She huffs out a big breath. “Fine. Let’s go to McDonald’s or Wendy’s. I just want a cheeseburger.”
“How did you get here?” I ask her.
“My mother dropped me off.”
“And she just left you here by yourself?”
She shrugs. “I knew you would come.” She smiles, and at that moment, I know I’ve been played.
“You did this on purpose,” I state the obvious.
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” She huffs out.
“We’ll go get you drive-thru. I can drop you off. I have to go back to work,” I tell her.
She huffs again and walks past me, her heels clicking on the hospital floor.
I stand here shaking my head, holding the picture of my baby girl in my hand. “You’ve got me wrapped around your finger and you’re not even here yet.” I laugh to myself, walking out of the hospital.
Sandie and I make it to my car at the same time. By the time I drop her off, she is straight pissed. Steam is almost coming out of her ears. I wait for her to walk up the pathway before I take off.
Looking at the clock, I see that it’s almost three p.m. I swing by the diner on my way back to the office. I don’t go in. I can’t. Just looking at her face from across the street, I see that her eyes have circles under them. She’s sitting with Lori and some other kid. She tries to smile, but it doesn’t last long.
I watch them. The woman who has my heart and her daughter who holds my other pinky. My three girls. I rub my face, hoping that one day my heart will stop aching. Hoping that one day it beats at the same time as hers.
I pull away from the diner, my chest hurting. I make my way over to Molly’s to drown my fucking sorrows.
I stay there till the owner drags me home. I make it up the stairs, swaying right and left. Sitting right in front of my door is my bag from Marissa’s house. A bag that I had hoped would stay there unpacked.
I bring it inside and set it on the living room table where it sits and taunts me. Where it holds all my hopes. I sit here till my eyes fall asleep, till I can see her face again in my dreams.
Chapter Thirty
Marissa
I rush out of work at six and head over to Mick’s house. The bag in my backseat is like a heavy weight on my heart. I put all his stuff back in the bag, except for that one shirt I slept in. I’m really hoping it isn’t missing.
Once I get on his street, my eyes scan the cars around. When I pull up to his house, I see that his car isn’t there. I wonder if he’s with her. I wonder if she will be moving in. I wonder if his child will have his eyes or his hair. Or better yet, I wonder if he loves her. Did he ever stop loving her? Will he marry her? Just the thought alone leaves my stomach rolling and burning.
I grab the bag, running up the steps and dropping it in front of the door. I don’t spend an extra minute there in case she opens the door and I have to see her.
I make it to Bella and Jackson’s just in time to see Lori being dropped off by Trevor. He watches her walk in, his eyes never leaving her. When he finally turns his head, his eyes find me. He sends a lopsided smile, knowing I caught him watching her and gives me a quick wave before driving off.
Supper is light. They both ask where Mick is, and I shrug that he had something to do. These are his friends. It’s his place to tell them. Jackson watches me during dinner. Not openly, but I catch him watching what I do. Like he knows there is something more.
We kiss them all goodbye with the promises to see each other that weekend. Making my way home, I notice that Trevor is already there.
“Oh, are we late?” I ask Lori.
“No. I texted him when we were leaving. He said he was in that area, so he would wait for us.”
I stop the car, and Trevor walks over, opening the door for Lori. Her smile shines bright in the nighttime sky. His smile matches hers.
“Hey, Trevor.” I walk around the car to lead the way in. “Were you waiting long?” I ask him.
I put the key in the lock and turn it right, pushing it in. When it doesn’t move, I turn the lock the other way. “Lori, did you not lock the door this morning?”
“I did, Mom, I even checked it. Trevor saw me do it twice.” She looks at Trevor, who nods.
“Maybe you just turned it right and left,” Trevor says to me with a shrug.
We walk in, all of us slowly looking around to see if anything has been touched. Turning on the lights, we see that nothing has been touched and everything looks the same as we left if.
I walk farther into the house, opening lights every chance I get while Lori says she will check upstairs. Nothing is out of place, but I have this nagging feeling that someone is watching me. Once I get into the kitchen, I jump when I look into the kitchen window, seeing my reflection and someone standing behind me. I yell out, turning only to see that it’s Trevor. “Oh, God, you scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry, Marissa,” he says, his face white with fear also from me yelling. “Lori said everything is okay upstairs.”
It takes a while for me to feel less nervous, but by the time I’m ready for bed the kids are on episode four of The Walking Dead. Making my way upstairs, I tell Lori to make sure she locks up after Trevor leaves.
Going into my room, I start my routine. A routine that I’ve done alone forever. Once I crawl into bed, I take my phone, going on Facebook to pass the time. A friend request had popped up from Bella, so I smile and accept. I check her page out, looking through all her pictures that she just put on there.
My eyes scan every picture for the eyes that haunt me. For the smile that made me smile. I finally see one of him and Lilah with his face in her neck, her head thrown back. His cheeks puffed out from blowing bubbles in her neck while his eyes look over at the camera.
I imagine him doing that with his child. I slowly drift off into sleep where my dreams are of him chasing a little girl with blond ringlets running through a field of flowers, chasing her till he catches her and flips her over, both of them turning around. She has his eyes but my face. They both wave to me. I sit up in bed, frantic, my heart pounding, tears running down my face. A sob rips through me while I look around, taking in my dark room. The curtains are up so I see the twinkle of stars outside. I lie back down in the middle of my bed, the sheets twisted around my legs, Mick’s pillow in my arms. I hold it tight, like I would hold him. I look out into the night, waiting for my eyes to grow tired, but they don’t. One hour turns into two and then the alarm fills the silence in the room.
Another day falls into another day. Routine stays the same. My heart beats a little when I hear the jingle of the bells on top of the door. I always look over, wondering if one day those eyes will be the ones staring back at me. Jackson has come in and out, never asking more questions than needed. I know he knows now, so I try to avoid eye contact, for fear he will see how broken I am inside.
I sometimes drive down the road, searching for him or her. Wondering if he is still thinking about me. Wondering if his dreams are filled with the memories of us, filled with the what-ifs. The routine is the same. Work, home, eat, repeat. I attend a couple of sessions with Lori, hoping to find the strength in the stories.
After week one and two, it’s easier to breathe. I smile a little more. Joke a little more. Till one day sitting in the driver’s side seat is a single white rose. No note, no nothing but the rose.
Every single day for two weeks I walk out, hoping to catch him doing it. Ho
ping to see him, even a glimpse. One week turns into two, which turns into three and the day I finally see him again.
Chapter Thirty-One
Mick
Jackson let me drag my ass for five days. For five days, he ignored me, leaving at noon to go get drunk. For five days, he didn’t push me. Till he sat on the stool next to me and I told him Sandie was having my baby.
The minute the words came out of my mouth, he took a shot with me then grabbed me and took me home. He stayed by my side that night while I told him about Marissa, Lori, and Sandie. The next morning he made me shower, sat me down, and placed a picture of my daughter in front of me. Next to that was a picture of Marissa, Lori, and me.
“I let you have your time to be stupid. You have a daughter on the way. A woman who is dying inside,” he says, and the minute he says that, my head comes up to look at him to hear what he has to say about her. “Every day I walk in that diner hoping to see her smile, a real smile. But she doesn’t,” he says then stops. “What do you want?”
His question is simple yet the answer is daunting. “I want my daughter, and I want Marissa and Lori.”
“So what the fuck are you doing?” he asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer. “You know Lori starts school next week. She and that Trevor kid enrolled in four courses in adult education.”
I smile at that I knew she would do it.
“She asks about you. Lori does. Every single time. She doesn’t do it in front of Marissa because she knows the answer might hurt her mom.”
I nod my head thinking about how far Lori has come, how she was the one being held together and now she is the one holding it together.
“Don’t get me wrong. Marissa is the best mother, there constantly, going to meetings. She’s surviving.”
“I miss her,” I say.
“How are you showing her you miss her? By getting shit-faced, by drowning your fucking sorrows? Fucking show her,” he yells.
“She doesn’t want me,” I yell back. “She left me the minute Sandie showed up saying she was pregnant.” My chest is heaving.
Pieces Of Heaven: Pieces Of Heaven (Heaven & Hell Book 2) Page 17