I watched Lisa leave, her eyes full of worry. And I wondered if what she’d said could possibly be true, because right now, I felt like there was a gaping hole where my heart used to be.
Colt’s words mixed and jumbled in my brain.
If I loved you, why would your last name matter?
I sighed, struggling with tears.
All in your head.
Feeling a little ashamed of myself, I reached under the pillow cushion, and pulled out the stuffed rabbit Colt had given me. I’d found it while rooting through my bag as I waited for the bus after visiting my brother. In my haste to leave Colt’s, I must have grabbed it without even realizing.
Sitting in that lonely parking lot in upstate New York, watching my breath form clouds in the air, I’d been tempted to hurl it away from me.
But at that same moment, as though the universe really wanted to ratchet up the agony another notch, a song had come through my earbuds, arresting me utterly. I’d been listening to a radio app, desperately trying to find music that might soothe my fractured spirit.
Instead I’d found a song so intense, so fluid, that choreography had burst into my mind, momentarily lifting me up. But as I listened, I realized why it was so moving.
It was as though everything I’d felt about Colt was captured in this song.
Letting out a sob, I’d hugged the rabbit to my chest, feeling my heart break all over again.
I saw Colt’s broad form, the confident way he walked, and the way his eyes seemed to flash with an unspoken understanding when he looked at me.
I could feel his fingers under my chin, forcing me to meet his intense gaze. Smell his cologne.
I remembered all the different ways he seemed to be able to express joy. His lopsided smirks, his wide smiles, and the way he laughed. Then I’d remembered the way his heartbeat had sounded under my cheek as we lay together in his bed. The feeling of his arms around me.
Then the song had ended and I was all alone again. Frantic, I’d tracked it down.
Powerful by Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley.
Of course it was called that. It had drenched me in memories to the point where I’d almost felt like Colt was with me. And since then, like a druggie in need of a hit, I’d played that song whenever the ache got too bad. Tucking the rabbit in the crook of my arm, I took out my phone.
Then, letting my head fall back, I closed my eyes as the music began.
Bursts of Colt flickered over me and I shivered. I could practically feel the warmth of his skin, the strength of his body, and the pressure of his lips on my neck.
While the song lasted, I allowed myself to sink into my memories, savoring every last detail. Even though part of me never wanted to feel this way again, another part dreaded the day when all of this would be nothing but hazy, half-forgotten what could’ve beens.
Maybe one day, if Lisa was right, I could put together the choreo I’d come up with. It was burned into my brain, as though it was a love letter of movement to Colt. And I wondered if he saw it, he’d finally believe me, and forgive me. Or if I could at least forgive myself.
When the song ended, I felt impossibly lonely. The world seemed far away. Sighing, I picked up the remote, and flicked around for a movie. The Notebook was there and I cued it up. Might as well get into full on sob-mode while Lisa was gone.
Right as I pressed play, I heard the door open. “You forget your keys?” I called out, barely glancing over.
“Not quite,” a deep, familiar voice replied.
One that seemed to fill every last inch of me.
And I froze. My ears roared with the pulse of my blood as I slowly looked up.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. But no, there he was, closing the door, and coming over. Part of me was panicking, wondering if he’d come to punish me more.
Colt.
My body closed in on itself, and I pulled the rabbit closer, along with the blankets. “How did you get in?” I whispered.
“Lisa let me in,” Colt said, looking sad and unsure. I must have been dreaming. Colt Capestrana was never anything but cocky. “She tell you we went to school together for a little while back in the day?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure I believed him since Lisa was pretty pissed at Colt. In fact, the first day, she’d pulled out a metal bat and threatened to beat his ass.
“What do you want?” I asked stiffly.
Colt came a little closer, as though he was afraid I might bolt. I glanced him over. He was wearing baggy gym pants, a well-worn hoodie, and hadn’t shaved in days. There were hollows in his cheeks and his skin was pale. He looked like shit.
I wondered dully if this was the result of the fact that I almost pulled one over on him.
Or if maybe… Maybe there was a slim chance he might be hurting too.
Colt didn’t answer, just continued to look at me, and I flushed, recalling how bad I’d looked the last I’d checked. Christ, couldn’t he give a girl some warning?
Reaching up, I tried to smooth my frizz, while wishing Lisa had chosen a different hairstyle. With the blankets and the pigtails, I must have looked ridiculously childish and pathetic.
Anger burned through me. This wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve to catch me out like this.
“I-I have a cold,” I lied, desperate to appear okay. I didn’t want him questioning my heinous appearance. Swollen, baggy eyes, blotchy skin. The fluffy movie, which I hit pause on. “You should go.” My throat went tight with pain. “I’m catchy.”
His eyes went soft and he put down the bag he was holding. Slowly, he came to stand in front of me, pushing the table out of the way. Then he crouched down, so we were at eye level.
“If it’s catchy, I caught it a long time ago, Rabbit.”
Clutching the rabbit tighter, I choked back a sob.
Don’t call me that.
But with that nickname, my anger evaporated. “Colt, I k-know I messed up.” Tears started. “And I don’t expect you to ever want to be with me. But please, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me… It’s just.” I pressed my lips together for a moment, trying to stem my tears. “Knowing you hate me feels like a wound that will never heal.”
Heartache flashed into his eyes, and suddenly his arms went around my waist, as he kneeled on the floor in front of me. I recoiled a little, stunned. But at the same time, the jagged remains of my heart throbbed.
Colt stared up at me, throat working.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His hand shook as he lifted it and traced his fingers along my cheek. “I do, though. I was so angry. I can’t lie, Rabbit. You broke my heart, so I tried to burn it all down. Please, forgive me.”
“What?” I gasped, mind reeling to keep up with the words that were making no sense.
“You kill me when you do that,” Colt murmured. He cupped my face and brushed the tears away with his thumbs. “Listen, it took Dante, and his belief in true love to make me see. Yeah, that Dante.” He grinned a little and my heart leapt at the sight of that smile. A smile I was sure I’d never see again. “You shoulda heard him chew me out.” He paused. “Bella, I woulda done the same thing in your shoes. Family’s everything. I get why you were confused at first.”
I shook my head. “Your family deserves that type of loyalty, Colt. Mine didn’t. Never did.” More tears tracked down my face. “But I was too dumb to see it. I don’t get a pass for that.”
A sob tore out of me and I pressed a hand to my eyes. Colt moved closer, pressing his forehead to mine, and holding the sides of my face. For a few minutes, I let it all out, as though I just needed one final catharsis.
When my tears subsided, I took a deep breath, and wiped my face.
Colt, he slid the blankets off my shoulders and held them in his big hands. “Bella…” He glanced down and his trademark smirk flitted across his face. “You took the rabbit? I was afraid Toro got a hold of it.”
“Um, yeah,” I murmured, flushing hotter.
He still hadn’t tol
d me why he was here. Maybe it was just closure. Wipe his hands clean, apologize, and move on. Now I was too afraid to say anything that might make him leave.
Colt stood up and dragged me with him. Wrapping his arms around me, he held me close. “For the record, you aren’t dumb. You’re trusting and you wanted a family you could believe in. Everyone does. Is that naïve? Maybe. But never dumb. Not you, Rabbit.” His voice caressed my ear. “Now, what matters is what comes next. And since family is number one in my life, I need you to be a part of it.” He stepped back and looked into my face for a long moment.
Then he dropped to one knee and pulled a box from his pocket. My heart skipped a beat and then hammered wildly in my chest. This had to be a cruel joke. This couldn’t be happening.
Colt popped open the box and light sparkled off a dazzling diamond ring.
“Colt,” I breathed, meeting his eyes again, terror and joy and fear rushed through me, all at once. “Please tell me this isn’t payback. My heart can’t take it if—”
He took my hand and squeezed it, his blazing eyes telling me everything I needed to know.
“Bella Ruffino. I was a fool not to listen to what my gut was telling me. I knew we had something special. A love of a lifetime.” Grief warred with the passion in his eyes. “But I let my worst qualities shine through. I was a stubborn ass, refusing to listen, and letting stupid pride get in the way.
“I’ll never love anyone the way I love you, Bella. I can’t. So if you’ll have me, I’ll never be so unforgiving again. I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you.” He smiled softly. “You bring me so much joy, Rabbit. You make me laugh, you’re a badass dancer, you have my taste in music.” I laughed at that. “You’re an incredible woman. You tackle life like I do. Headfirst and eyes wide open. I love that, and I love you.”
I dove at him, throwing my arms around his neck, and he laughed as we fell over. One of his arms wrapped around my back as I laughed and cried at the same time like a loon.
“Is that a yes, Rabbit?” Colt whispered. “I’m dyin’ here.”
Sitting back, I looked into his face, and slowly smiled. It felt like a dream come true. I could hardly believe it was happening.
“Well?” He raised an eyebrow.
My heart melted. “Yes!” I cried out. “Of course, yes!”
Colt tugged on my elbow and I gave him my hand. As he slid the ring on, he grinned mischievously at me.
I looked down at it, admiring it from every angle, and then I squinted. There, on the back of the band, was an etched pair of tiny bunny ears.
“You!” I said with a laugh, grabbing his shirt, and kissing him.
Colt crushed me against him, capturing my mouth with his familiar intensity. Only now I could feel the powerful connection as well. The energy between us. Colt deepened the kiss. His fingers dug into my back and I pushed my hands through his hair. Then I traced my fingers through his scruffy beard.
Mm, you may have to keep this, future hubby.
Excitement pulsed through me. I teased my hands inside the back collar of his shirt, spreading my fingers across his shoulders. Colt groaned into my mouth and I smiled.
Then he pulled us onto the floor and our bodies tangled together. My foot slid up his leg and he shuddered. Then his fingers caressed the bare skin of my lower back and I gasped a little.
“Colt, I-”
But my thoughts were interrupted as my stomach suddenly growled so loud, it sounded like an angry bear. My face went white hot as we broke apart laughing.
“Did you bring me food?” I asked, suddenly realizing what I’d caught a whiff of. It was coming from a bag by the door, a familiar scent of spice, tomatoes, garlic, and love.
“Oh my God.” I moaned a little. “Is that Mama Ange’s gravy?”
Colt threw his head back, laughing, and sat up.
“Yeah. I had to go see her today. She wasn’t too happy with me. I’ll tell you that story later. So, after she made me take a shower, she was all worried that I was looking skinny, and demanded I take food with me when I came to win you back. She was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to do it without her help.” He traced my lips with his fingers. “I was hoping she was wrong, but then I got to thinking, if you were as bad off as I was, you’d probably be hungry. So, I brought it with me.”
“I love you, Colt Capestrana. But I adore that woman,” I said, my stomach growling again.
“Believe me, Bella.” Colt got to his feet and helped me up. “It’s mutual.”
He picked up the bag, and pulled out the food. I scurried to get plates, forks, and napkins, and then we sat on the floor, and started to eat.
“It’s still warm? This confirms it. Mama Ange is a sorceress,” I said.
“A streghe?” Colt laughed. “Maybe. Next time we’re over you can have her check for malocchio with the olive oil. Also, now that you’re gonna be a Capestrana, she’ll want to teach you all the secret family recipes.”
“Wow.” Warmth spread through me like a hug from the inside out. “That part just hit me. Family.”
“Get used to it, Rabbit. You’re part of the Capestrana family now. Lots of benefits.” He grinned at me. “Most of which involve yours truly.”
“Here’s hoping it doesn’t go to my head like someone I know,” I teased. “So tell me about these benefits.”
“Hm…” His warm eyes lit up. “Well, I hear New England is in for a bad winter.”
I tingled with anticipation. “I heard that too,” I said. “What should we do about it?”
Colt took his time finishing his next bite and I lightly kicked him.
“Hey!” He swallowed. “And here I was about to invite you to Buenos Aires.”
“Argentina?” I felt my heart take off. “Are you serious?”
“No, never.” I stole a meatball off his plate and Colt shook his head. “You’re a handful, you know that? And yeah, I’m serious. There’s this open air garden, where you can dance all night long.” Colt’s gaze went hot and I shivered. “I’ve been dreaming about taking you there.”
I let out a sigh of bliss, my heart overflowing with joy.
“Will you dance with me, Rabbit?” Colt asked, his face solemn.
“Forever, Colt. Forever and ever.”
Need more bad boy romance? Check out Saving Grace, out now and in KU!
Grace
Professor Ridley has a secret… And I’m going to find out what it is.
When I signed up for his Criminal Justice course, it was nothing to me. The last three credits I needed to graduate. Now, it’s everything. He’s all I can think about. I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but the way he moves? He doesn’t just walk…he prowls. And I’m pretty sure those glasses are fake because those piercing green eyes see everything. Even the things I don’t want him to see. If I’m going to get over this obsession, I’ve got to get to the bottom of things and figure out exactly who Jack Ridley is. Even if it kills me.
Jack
Hot as f*%k student Grace Farrow won’t stop trailing me with those dark, innocent eyes and, if it doesn’t stop soon, she’s going to find herself bent over the nearest desk losing her virgin status as she screams my name. Terrible outcome when blowing my cover would open me up to a world of hurt, so I have to resist. But when she takes her kitten-like curiosity too far, she puts herself in the line of fire. Now I’ve got to figure out how to save her without ruining her at the same time.
Chapter One
Jack
She’s going to be the end of me.
I don’t know how I know it, but I do. Those pert little tits pressing against the demure, cowl-necked sweater. Does she even know that her nipples are perpetually hard in the chilly classroom? Or how much I want to reach over her desk and pinch them while I grind my cock against her?
I doubt it. I’m her professor, after all. And, currently, I’m droning on and on about the number of executions in the United States over the decades. In fact, I’m not even looking at her.
<
br /> At least, not in the traditional sense.
See, my real job requires me to notice everything. So while my gaze is trained on some stoned slacker shoveling Cheetos into his mouth in the back row, from the corner of my eye, I see Grace, leaning her chin on one hand, staring at me like it’s a hot summer day and I’m the last ice cream bar on the truck.
Never mind that she’s twenty-one, tops, and probably wouldn’t know what to do with me once she got her mouth around me. I still haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since she slid that fine ass into the front row seat three weeks before.
As if she’s reading my mind, her hand shoots up and I spare her a quick glance. “Yes?”
Her full lips part, baring a perfect set of pearly teeth that I instantly imagine closing over the head of my dick in the lightest of nips.
Fuck.
The iron control I’ve spent more than a decade mastering slips and a surge of blood pulses south, swelling my cock to the point that it strains against my zipper. Luckily, I have on a sports jacket that will hide the evidence.
“Yes, Professor, what was the first state to abolish capital punishment?” she murmurs, those wide, dark, innocent eyes gazing up at me like I have the answer to both that question and all the other questions in the universe.
Spoiler alert: I don’t have the answer to either.
“Good one, Ms. Farrow. In fact, let’s make that one of the questions for tonight’s homework, why don’t we?” I turn to the class with a strained smile. “Let’s do a little research at home, shall we? List the first five states to abolish the death penalty.”
There are a couple of groans, but most of the kids take it in stride because I typically go light on the homework. Little do they know, it’s not for their benefit. I just don’t have time to correct their work, what with the night job.
I turn to the blackboard and write out the assignment with a flourish. “Bonus points for including the year. And don’t forget to study for Friday’s test,” I remind them, swiping the chalk dust onto my jeans as I turn back to face them again. “We’ve got one more class for review, but waiting until the last minute is a terrible strategy. This is an easy A unless you make it hard.”
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