What Might Kill Us

by M. N. Forgy

  “I’m always nice,” Doc shrugs, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “She is,” Dani laughs, standing up. “How is Dad?” she asks, her tone serious now.

  My heart skips a beat, remembering him making me leave him behind to deal with Benito.

  “He’s taking care of business,” I inform softly. The fear in my voice that I may lose him evident.

  “Don’t be scared, he’ll be back,” Doc pats. “They always come back.”

  They step into the hallway and Dani stops. “By the way, I’m totally not calling you Mom,” and she shuts the door.

  I smirk, grabbing the towel off the bed, needing this blood and sin off me now.

  Stepping out of my clothes I head into the bathroom, turning nothing but the hot water on and step into the shower.

  Leaning my hands on the tiled wall I rest my head on my forearms. The way Potzi’s blood splattered when I stabbed him, the look that crossed Alvaro’s face when I hit him with the truck; all of it haunting my subconscious.

  I’ve been here less than a month and look at the chaos I’ve caused. I hope Bull and his men are okay, I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to them.

  I stay in the shower, even when the water turns cold with my head resting against the tile. I don’t know how much time goes by, but I can’t move. I’m rooted in that spot, my tears mixing with the water droplets running down my face.

  The shower door opens and I jump. Bull steps in surprising me and I exhale a hard breath.

  “Bull,” I gasp, pulling him close.

  “I’m alright, baby,” he pulls me closer, the smell of fire and gasoline strong.

  “What happened?” I ask, taking a step back. Water clings to my lashes and my hair sticks to my face as I wait for him to answer me.

  He tucks his hand behind my head, his eyes grim. “Just like I said before. Nobody is going to hurt you, Bee. Never again. I took care of it. Once and for all.” All I can do is shake my head as more tears fall from my eyes at knowing that I no longer have anything to fear.

  “I took care of it Little Bee,” he whispers once more, caressing my cheek. “Do you hear me?”

  “Ye−” I start to say, but am interrupted when his mouth smashes onto mine.

  With his lips sliding against my own, I melt into his hold. His tongue sweeping in and making my world of darkness succumb to something much lighter.

  “Anahi?” he growls into my mouth.

  “Yes,” I reply, nipping his bottom lip.

  “Don’t you ever fucking run from me again. Do you understand?” He tugs on my wet hair, his tone of voice and strength telling me he’s serious. It was stupid of me to run, but I panicked. I didn’t know if they’d hurt me knowing who I was.

  “I understand,” I whisper, promising to never leave his side again.

  “You’re my old lady, we are in this together.” He runs his nose along my cheek and I sigh.

  He turns the water off and grabs me under the thighs, lifting me up.

  I wrap my legs around him, our bodies slick and wet.

  Stepping out of the shower and into the cool air my nipples perk against his chest. He sets me down on the counter and goosebumps spread along my skin. Turning, he fists the blue towel and dries me off. Taking so much care and focus on what he’s doing.

  He’s so attentive to my needs without me even voicing them.

  “Bull, why did you make me your old lady?” I whisper, curious why he picked me. I’m so different than any of these girls.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” he smarts, not faltering in drying me off.

  I grab his hand, making him stop.

  “I’m serious,” I whisper.

  He sighs, his eyes hitting me hard.

  “Because I love you,” he shrugs like it’s a no brainer and my face pales hearing him say he loves me for the first time.

  “You do?” I mumble, my stomach filling with butterflies.

  He smirks.

  “I do. You care about me, you helping me get sober showed that. You are down with my lifestyle and you love to ride my motorcycle. Not to mention you were born to wear my colors.” He grabs my chin, pulling me close. “You and I are each other’s remedy for this fucked up world we were given. Without you by my side I’m not living, I’m just fucking being.”

  I cup his face, my head leaning to the side.

  “I love you too, Bull.”

  He smirks. “I know.”

  My brows furrow. “I never said it to you, how do you know?”

  He tosses the towel to the floor and picks me up.

  “It’s not what you say baby, it’s how you feel and it’s how you look at me. I just know.”

  Picking me up again he stomps into the room and flips the lights off. He sets me on the bed and climbs in behind me, pulling me close, his hands resting on my flat abdomen.

  I can actually breathe freely for the first time in forever.

  I’m safe, the comfort of a strong man behind me that I love is a security nobody else other than him can give me.

  “I want to explain why I didn’t tell you about Augustus,” I state, and Bull lifts his arm from my stomach and presses a finger to my mouth, hushing me.

  “Our past is just that, the past. You and I are going to build a future together. That is what I want to focus on.”

  “I love you,” I whisper into the darkness, because there are no other words to express how he just made me feel with his.

  “I love you too, Little Bee.”

  Three Months Later

  “Anahi, tell me you’re making tacos tonight!” Bobby asks, tapping the bar top with his knuckles. I laugh, placing the groceries on the counter. “Maybe,” I shrug.

  “No way, you get mad gas when you eat Mexican,” Doc scolds, stomping out of the kitchen, her finger pointed at him as the kids of the club chase each other from one room to another.

  “Come on, it’s Taco Tuesday, babe!” Bobby follows her down the hallway, pleading for my tacos.

  Things have been going really well for me. I have never felt so at home than I do here. Being Bull’s old lady comes with its perks. When we’re in town, people literally jump out of the way when they see me. They hold doors open, give me their spot in line. It’s bizarre, and I still haven’t gotten used to it, which makes it even more weird because of who I am. I came from a family that put fear in people’s hearts; the treatment I’m receiving should be an easy feat to adjust to, but it’s not.

  Turning, my cut snags on a knob on a cabinet door.

  “Shit,” I mutter under my breath untangling it. I sewed it up using purple shoelaces. I love how different it looks, but the purple string is always catching on shit.

  I haven’t seen or heard anything from London. Word around the club is Cherry and Dani beat the shit out of her for what she did to me that night. Then when Bull heard she got the information from Alvaro and purposely tried to turn his club against his old lady−he banned her from the club.

  “Hey Bee, we on for In-And-Out tomorrow?” Bull whispers into my hair, making me jump where I stand.

  “You gotta stop sneaking up on me like that!” I turn and slap at his chest, but he just grins. He knows what he’s doing.

  “Yeah, it’s a date,” I smile, rubbing the scruff on his cheeks. Bull and I go once a week to our favorite burger joint. It’s our weekly date, something we’ve committed to since things got back to normal around here. We go on a long ride and then grab burgers. Just the two of us, well three if you count the baby in my barely protruding belly.

  “You making tacos tonight?” he questions, looking over the ingredients on the counter.

  “Yeah, Bobby has been asking me to make them,” I smirk.

  “Tell Bobby to make his own damn tacos.” He pulls me in and nuzzles my neck.

  “I think the club would burn to the ground,” I laugh out loud. I’ve seen him try to make toast, it’s scary. “So thanks, but no thanks.”

  “Can’t say I didn’t try,” h
e says on a laugh, before continuing on. “I’ll have Shadow bring Dani over then, make a family dinner out of it.” He pushes my leather vest open completely, exposing my belly to him so he can rub it, before kissing my forehead.

  “I thought you had a run tonight?” I question. He goes on runs a lot with the boys, I hate it but understand it and every time he comes back, he fucks me for hours and we don’t leave the room for the whole day.

  “No, I canceled because the real estate agent said they have a property for me to look at,” he informs casually.

  “Real estate agent?”

  “Yeah, we need a home for this baby. A backyard, maybe a nice neighborhood,” he informs with so much enthusiasm it takes me aback. Like he’s been planning this in his head for a while.

  “So I need you to come with me to you know, check it out. But first I need you to come outside, I want to show you something,” he whispers against my forehead. Giving him a puzzled look, I wait for him to give me more on what he has outside for me. When he doesn’t go on any more about what it is, I just give up and I follow him outside.

  The weather is still warm from the afternoon sun, and I can’t help but place my hand on my stomach as I soak it in.

  The unfamiliar roar of a motorcycle makes me look in the direction of the garage. A multicolored Rat bike is driven out by Lip and parked right in front of me. I cover my mouth in disbelief. It’s fucking amazing and the sound, the sound is badass.

  “It’s yours, however you can’t drive it until you’re not pregnant and you get your license,” Bull informs. I jump up and down, a big smile on my face as I look it over. “I didn’t paint it because I thought you’d want to pick the colors.”

  “I don’t want to paint it. It’s already perfect. Every part shows it’s past and future the way it is,” I state, running my hand over the torn leather seat.

  We ride into town and enter a neighborhood that is not my cup of tea. It’s not about me, it’s about Anahi and the kid now. I want something my woman and child will always be safe in, a place where my kid can run around the neighborhood freely, making friends and having them over for sleepovers and all.

  We pull up to the house and Anahi squirms behind me.

  It’s a two-story brick and stucco house, the nice big garage giving it brownie points.

  “Oh my gosh,” Anahi whispers in awe. I knew she’d like it. It screams domesticated country house from a mile away.

  “Hi there!” A woman walks out the front door, her pantsuit and short blonde hair making her look like Hillary Clinton. “I’m Suzy,” she smiles so hard her face may break.

  I nod my head at her in greeting, then I help Anahi get off the bike safely and out of her helmet.

  “Baby, you get any more pregnant and we’re going to have to hold off on the rides,” I inform, and she instantly pouts. “Just until the baby is born, I don’t want anything to happen to you or the baby.”

  Walking inside, the place is spacious and holds a fireplace in the living room. It’s three bedrooms and three baths with a big kitchen for Anahi to whip up her Mexican cuisines.

  This is the building block to normalcy, well as close as I can get anyway. I look out the window observing the neighborhood. Anahi will have to be the nice one, I’m sure everyone will either run from me, or just plain hate me. I laugh at the thought of stuck up bitches going pale when they see my men come over for dinner, tattooed criminals and motorcycles lining the block.

  “So, what do you think?” Anahi asks softly.

  “What do you think?” I turn around and grab her by the hips. She just started to really show, her body spreading in all the right places making it hard for me to keep my hands off her.

  “I really like it,” she grins, and I can see it in her eyes.

  “Well then, we’ll take it.” I pull her into me hugging her.

  The real estate lady walks in, clipboard in hand.

  “We’ll take it!” Anahi exclaims as she makes her way over to Suzy, smiling a secret smile.

  I watch as they head into the other room where Suzy left all the paperwork to finalize the sale. I knew my woman would love this house and I told Suzy just as much. She thought it was a waste of time to go ahead and print out everything for this house, since it was the first house Anahi was seeing and she might not like it. But like I already said, I know my woman.

  Shaking my head with a smile on my face, I turn and stare at the swing set in the backyard. I see my family in this house, even if it’s so far from my taste. I see my woman in this kitchen and see my kid out back, laughing uncontrollably as they swing high in the sky.

  If you had asked me six months ago where I’d be right now I’d never have thought here. Not at all. Being a slave to the bottle or six feet under would be a better prediction. Anahi saved me more than she’ll ever know.

  I didn’t think I was capable of having a happily ever after, but it turns out bad motherfucking bikers are capable of having fairytales...

  We just have a lot more sex and action in our stories.

  Delivery time

  “Give me drugs!” Anahi screams, her face red with blood vessels ready to pop at a moment’s notice. She looks like the fucking exorcist, I’m not even kidding.

  “Give them to her!” I demand the doctor, a little scared for all of us.

  “I can’t we’re too close, she’s going to have to do this like she planned; natural,” Dr. Vlad says with more courage than I have at the moment.

  “Oh, God no! I can’t. I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough,” Anahi begs, looking at me to do something as tears streak her face. Fuck! Why did I go along with her plan to do this shit natural? She ain’t got shit to prove to anyone, I should have made her see that maybe then we wouldn’t be where we are now. Her with tears in her eyes from the unbearable pain and me ready to lose my shit on her fucking doctor.

  I grasp her chin, making her look at me.

  “You’re strong, Little Bee, so fucking strong and you can do this, baby,” I encourage, hoping my words will be enough.

  “Just one more big push, Anahi.” Dr. Vlad smiles, and Anahi glares at him like she wants to rip his face off.

  Her hand clamps down on mine and she bears down, pushing as hard as she can. Her eyes are closed, her legs shaking as she tries with all her strength to push. My hand burns with the limited amount of circulation. I never would have pegged Anahi with so much strength before.

  A cry erupts and Anahi instantly lets up on my hand. My eyes well with unshed tears at hearing it, and I have to blink hard to get a hold of myself.

  Our baby continues to cry, wailing its way completely into this world and making its mark early on. The sound foreign, but so familiar. A small laugh escapes my mouth at the same time a lone tear leaves my eye. Man, this kid is already making me soft.

  I wipe the tear away and lean forward, trying to see over Anahi’s legs to see what gender the baby is. She didn’t want to know, and it’s been killing me to find out since.

  “It’s a baby boy,” the doctor announces, and that’s it; all the tears I was fighting back break free, rolling down my cheeks one after the other.

  A boy.

  One to reign over my club one day, to take my spot as president.

  “Can I see him?” Anahi asks, her arms already outstretched.

  They wrap him in a blanket and hand him to her.

  His body is covered in white crap and blood, his skin a cross between Anahi’s Mexican ethnicity and my white American. His head is full of dark hair, and his eyes are emerald green.

  He’s fucking perfect.

  “He looks like you,” she laughs, touching his little nose.

  “What was the boy name we had picked out?” I whisper, touching his cheek. My hand shakes, nervous I may break him. He’s so small and fragile. My stomach fills with butterflies, the idea of taking care of him suddenly overwhelming.

  “Maverick,” she replies, pulling me from my internal panic attack.

  I smirk.
“Hey there, Maverick,” I repeat softly.

  “Do you want to hold him?” she asks, and the blood drains from my face, my heart skipping a beat.

  “You sure?” I ask, not sure I’m ready for this. What if I hurt him?

  “You have to get used to it some time.”

  Swallowing hard, I hold my hands out and take him into my arms. I tuck the blue blanket away from his chubby cheeks, so I can really look him over.

  They say love at first sight doesn’t exist. I call bullshit, because I love this little shit instantly.

  I want to protect him and be his best friend. I want to teach him how to build a Lego castle, give him his first bike, and teach him the game of women.

  “Is it a boy? Is it a girl?” Dani rushes into the room, her hair a mess at this late hour.

  “A boy,” I inform, placing him back in Anahi’s arms.

  I step out of the way so Dani can see her brother for the first time, her cheeks turn red and she instantly starts crying.

  “Oh my God, he looks just like us,” she whimpers, looking over Anahi’s shoulder.

  “The ladies won’t know what hit them,” Anahi laughs, sounding tired and I imagine she is. From what I witnessed, labor is no joke.

  “What’s his name?” she asks, touching his black hair.

  “Maverick,” I inform and she smiles through her tears.

  “Hey, Maverick. Welcome to The Devil’s Dust.”

  THE END

  What. A. Ride!?

  This book was something that has been in the making for a while. After Babs died in The Scars That Define Us, I was like… How does Bull come back from that? How does he move on? Who will be the female that makes Bull’s heart beat again?

  It took that long for me to put it all in place. Bull is a complicated man, so I knew his story would be complicated. I have to say, What Might Kill Us would have not reached its full potential without my village of people.

  My beta’s Brie, Natalie, Candace, and Carrie. You guys were amazing in helping me weed out and smooth out each chapter. You understand the need to get everything perfect, and aren’t afraid to tell me when something is amazing, and when something put you to sleep and needs work.