Alice 1

by Ernest Kinnie

  CHAPTER 17

  He offered a cup of coffee, but no chocolate donuts.

  “A student copied sensitive material onto a flash drive like this one.” It was black with the usual silver end that plugs into the computer. “The student left the drive in a drop box, which in this case is a locker in the girl’s gym. The pickup is going to take place this evening around nine, and we need to get the drive back before that happens.”

  “Why not call the cops?”

  “We don’t want them to know we’re aware of what they are doing, and hope for a little anger and confusion when the drive disappears.”

  “Ok, an easy Zip.”

  “Exactly.”

  He spread out a map of the gym. “The girl’s side is here, and the lockers are on both sides of this corridor. Number 742 has the flash drive and is located here.”

  “Do I need identification?”

  “If anyone asks just say you’re new and want to look around.”

  “What do I do with the drive?”

  “Give it to Jimmy Taylor, your new guidance counselor. He’ll be in this building, Room 146.”

  The gym is just back of the Administration building. Followed the signs to the girl’s side and walked past 742. The drive is near the front. Kept going and looked around the gym for a while. Lots of exercise equipment and vending machines with power drinks. Oh my, two kinds of girls using the equipment, those that don’t need them and those who do who’ll give it a try and drop out within a week.

  Then walked past 742 again, and off to Jimmy Taylor.

  “Hello, glad to meet you. Please come in and we’ll go over your schedule”.

  He’s a tiny, red haired guy in his 30’s with a big smile. Reminds me of Maggie O’Flanigan. If he also has the Gift, maybe all those stories about leprechauns are true. There really are magical, little people.

  “Oh thank you, Mr. Taylor. I’m so new here and I appreciate your taking the time to help me“.

  His grin grew even wider. He obviously appreciates a quick study. We talked about my career goals, what courses I should take, and he’ll be glad to help me test out of a few introductory courses. I palmed the drive as we shook hands on my way out.

  “Come back anytime, Alice.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Taylor.”

  I ate dinner at a little place on University, and back to Arlene’s. Her sour puss is almost gone and she handed me a plate of chocolate chip cookies she baked. I gave her a hug which shocked her, and after only a tiny hesitation hugged back.

  I smiled at a couple of people staying at Arlene’s but they aren’t friendly, and our community TV room is empty.

  ____________________

  The next morning I picked up The Daily Californian at Sather Gate on my way to the Bear’s Lair.

  A DEATH ON CAMPUS

  The body of Cindy Collins was found late last night outside the Hearst Memorial Gym. She was a 24-year old graduate student in the Physics Department. Police are investigating the cause of death. Those close to the investigation believe she suffered a heart attack.

  Karla got his anger and confusion.

  I stopped by libertarian Charlie sitting behind his little table to give him another chance to say how sorry he is for taking advantage of my innocence. He didn’t mention the McKinley under his mouse pad but I notice he’s wearing a very nice gray and brown tweed jacket that looks pretty new.

  A guy came up as I walked away. Odd looking young man with black hair and green eyes that sparkle in the sunlight.

  “You are the one!” Oh my, that’s quite an original line. Let’s see where it goes.

  “Yes, I am the one.”

  “Please come.” I went along with his awkward grab at my arm and let him lead me to a bench with three girls with super sweet smiles. I’ve seen those smiles before and call them Buddha Grins---beatific smiles to show the world how holy you are.

  Baaarrrfff

  The girls gave me a nice welcome but the guy hugged me in a most ungentlemanly manner. No doubt dreaming of adding me to his harem.

  “I’m Carl and this is Sylvia, Susan and Sally.” The girls look like happy peas in a pod with their silly grins.

  “We have waited so long and now you have come,” Sally squealed.

  “Yes I have come and I see you are worthy. What do you desire?”

  “We desire wisdom and light,” squeaked Susan, the girl with blond, straggly hair.

  “And you shall have wisdom and light. We must go to a place of quietude, away from worldly confusion, where you can once again become one with all that is. Where you can once again become what you have always been.” Pretty good stuff, eh? Well at least they thought so. I learned the patter from a foster mother who was into the “one with the universe” trip.

  “Let’s go to my place,” Carl said, and we walked a few blocks to an old Japanese log cabin he inherited from his Aunt.

  Yes, there are Japanese log cabins

  We sat on the living room floor and Sylvia lit a stick of incense. The cedar smoke curled into the air and they all looked at me, eager for wisdom and light. And they shall have wisdom and light.

  “You know the meaning of all that is. All that is, is part of you, and you are part of all that is. When you wake in the morning, it is there. When you go to sleep, it is there, guiding you to a reality far away and long ago. A reality that shimmers with the golden light of Truth.”

  Oh my, I almost burst out laughing. So funny for me. So serious for them.

  “I have only a short time to sojourn among you. This will be our only meeting. Do not try to contact me again, and never ever tell anyone about me or what happens here today. Do you agree to this?

  “ Swear it!” They swore it.

  “Now in this place and in this time you will feel your power, your inner core of immense power. The power to create whatever life you desire. The power to lift you into the glory of wisdom and light.

  “Carl! Feel the power within you.

  “Feel it grow strong.

  “Feel the power of your inner being lift your body up into the glory of wisdom and light.

  “Arise!

  “Arise into the glory of wisdom and light.

  “Arise!”

  And he arose, with a little help from me. My Shadow hands have grown strong over the years but this was testing their limit. Gasps and tiny cries from the girls.

  “Carl! Feel the power within you.

  “Feel the power surging through all the wonders of your being.

  “Use the power to rise even higher, even higher into the glory of wisdom and light

  “Arise!”

  And he arose a few more inches off the floor. The girls stared with open mouths.

  “Now allow your body to slowly return to the earth of your birth.

  “Always remember the power you now feel. Use that immense power to create the life you have always wanted, and to empower the lives of others.”

  And did the same for Sylvia, Sally and Susan.

  It transformed them in a very deep way. Carl and his harem had tears in their eyes when I left. No more Buddha grins. What started just a fun time for me was a powerful experience for them.

  But what about unintended consequences? If I worried about those, I’d never get out of bed.

  Never thought about it before but maybe some of that spooky stuff in the tabloids at the checkout counter really do happen. Most peddlers of the supernatural are fake of course, taking advantage of the needy and the adventurous for money, power and sex. But maybe belief in the supernatural has stayed alive over the centuries because there really are a few people who have the Gift.

  ____________________

  During the next few weeks Jimmy Taylor was a big help arranging tests to get me out of those boring first and second year beginner courses. I’ve passed Phil. 101 and 102, and Psych. 102, 110 and 111, and am working on Psych. 155 and 156. I like the little, red-headed leprechaun.

  I took his advice to sit in on a few
of the first and second year courses to see if any were worth doing. Only found one, the Psychology of Adjustment class taught by Dr. Kinnie. A great teacher and he wrote the textbook, 60 Psychological Adventures. I was hoping the class would go on the sexual adventure in Part 3 but Dr. Kinnie and the University of California are a little shy. David bought a copy and is getting the candles, incense and blankets ready.

  I’m going to take Dr. Kinnie’s Advanced Psychology of Adjustment class in the fall. Yes, he wrote the textbook, Psychological Maps.

  CHAPTER 18

  Arlene invited me for bacon and scrambled eggs. I told her I found a job so won’t have any trouble paying the rent and thanked her again for her kindness. She began to talk about the men in her life. There haven’t been any for a while. Sometimes she’s glad and sometimes she misses a man to care for her.

  I did the dishes and asked if she knew a place where I could get my hair done. There‘s one not far and she offered to go with me. She needs her’s done, and a whole lot more. She’s a mess.

  At the beauty shop she decided my nails needed a little help but I said no, maybe later. She assumed I didn’t have the money and insisted on paying. She’s obviously not rich. I have to find a way to get a little money in her life. Clean her up. Maybe help her get a good man.

  ____________________

  That fifth door on the left may or may not be Karla’s office, no name plate. He was there in the afternoon. Told him I wanted to give Arlene $80,000. without her knowing it came from me.

  He fired up his computer, which I imagine accesses quite an impressive data base. It didn’t take long to come up with a plan. Arlene has an Uncle Fred who never existed but died anyway and left her $80,325.24. I gave him a check and he promised to have her inheritance in the mail by tomorrow afternoon, from a lawyer in Wisconsin.

  ____________________

  I think I’ll explore spook groups around Berkeley. They’ll be a lot of fun and I might even learn something. There are a few meetings this evening posted on the bulletin boards. How about the Hairy Women of Apollo? Women who call themselves that can’t be all bad.

  I came early to the meeting, held in one of the women’s dorms, and watched the Hairy Women arrive, mostly lesbian. They started with a chant accompanied by an Irish harp. Beautiful harp, ugly chant. Then to business. Two women, one fat, one skinny, stood up and reached for the sky, bescreeching and beseeching Phoebus Apollo to descend upon them. Good Lord, what would they do with Apollo? Aphrodite maybe, but Apollo? Whatever. Wish I could materialize a big horny Apollo, and I mean BIG, but sadly I cannot. But I can do the next best.

  So there they are, two women in the center of the room, arms raised, eyes closed, bescreeching and beseeching. My Shadow finger rapidly tapped the clit of the fat one. Her eyes flew open

  and she screamed. Good Lord she’s sensitive. Wasn’t she begging Apollo to descend upon her?

  After she apologized and everything quieted down, they bescreeched and beseeched some more. This time I tapped the G-spot of the skinny one. She dropped to the floor and spread her legs as wide as they could go, and her hips began to jerk. Her eyes rolled back in her head as I tapped faster and faster. She screamed “Apollo” twice and fainted. Phoebus Apollo was pleased.

  They had a lively discussion the rest of the evening about the profound spiritual, ontological and metaphysical significance of Apollo’s visit. I meekly suggested some of the other ladies might also like to experience Apollo’s power, but there were no takers. How sad. Imagine an all night orgy with a God. I’d go for it, but Apollo’s Hairy Women are a little shy.

  Oh my, oh my, what loud choruses of yells and screams of shock and outrage from some of you super-sensitive, super-refined, super-prissy ladies and gentlemen. How could I be so rude, so crude. A shocked and angry woman even called me uncouth!

  Who you trying to kid?

  I know what you do to yourself when no one’s around.

  And I got plenty of couth lady.

  ____________________

  In the next week I passed the test for Psych. 156, and started reading the textbook for 281. There’s an awful lot of padding in the first and second year textbooks. What a waste to spend two whole years reading them. Beginning Neuroanatomy 281 is an exception. Not much padding. Slow reading. Lots to memorize.

  CHAPTER 19

  No more sour puss. Arlene so enjoys mothering me and said I needed a new wardrobe. I told her that if I’m careful, by January I can begin to buy new clothes. My clothes are a bit shabby, but her’s are old maid ugly. She has a nice figure, but nobody would guess. I thought she was in her 40’s. Nope, early 30’s. I have a lot of work to do.

  If the inheritance check is sent Special Delivery, she’ll get it tomorrow.

  ____________________

  I think I’ll look on the bulletin boards for other psychic groups. The Hairy Women were a lot of fun. I’m pretty sure the real psychics, if they’re around, do not advertize but I might bump into a few slumming or looking for new recruits.

  Ashara came skipping over while I was having mid-morning coffee at the Bear’s Lair. Smacked a piece of paper on the table, grabbed both donuts, and ran.

  SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE REVEALED

  Yes, you have all read promises like that. Our group is different. We know no secrets of the universe. Humans are far too limited to know them. We explore the frontiers of human abilities. If you would like to join the adventure come to Soder Hall, room 121 on the evening of Dec. 4th at 7pm.

  Well at least they’re humble and I have nothing else to do this evening.

  ____________________

  Soder Hall is on the wrong side of campus, not where the elite live. As usual I got there a little early and watched the crowd come in. Not much of a crowd. Humility doesn’t sell in the psychic world. All young people except for a well-dressed, white haired lady. I did my shy dance and they gave me a warm welcome. The old lady, Cynthia Crowley, wasn’t the leader, more like a mentor.

  Gary led a short meditation to ground us and clear our minds from the cares of the day. The agenda was psychokinesis. He took out small pieces of paper and matchsticks, and we tried to move them with our minds. Brought back memories of my babyhood, so long ago.

  Not much luck. Sometimes a small piece of paper moved, but I suspect someone was breathing hard. Mrs. Crowley suggested we slow down our minds even more, and led a meditation that did a pretty good job of moving our brain waves from beta toward alpha.

  See.

  I’m reading my textbooks.

  It worked. Some were able to move the paper a little, the match sticks just sat. So the Gift is not only inherited but can be developed with hard work. Glad I was born lucky. Sadly, when it came to my turn the paper didn’t even flutter.

  The group was so excited, tonight was obviously a major breakthrough. I was tempted to help out a little but they need honest feedback.

  After the meeting Mrs. Crowley gave me a piece of paper with an address and invited me to come to her home tomorrow evening. Ashara is a greedy, sneaky little kid.

  CHAPTER 20

  The Special Delivery came as we were eating breakfast. Yes, she shrieked as you would expect and came running into the kitchen waving the check. At least for that magic moment she looked young and beautiful. She thought her mother mentioned an Uncle Fred but wasn’t sure.

  She’s going to use the money to pay off the rest of the mortgage and buy me clothes. She was so excited and I was just as excited because I’ll make sure she buys clothes for herself as well. I protested of course but she was very firm. I relented but made her promise to add more ways to help around the house.

  After breakfast we shopped all day. At first she didn’t want to buy anything for herself, but I picked out a cute, little outfit and she was shocked how nice she looks. No problem after that.

  ____________________

  The Crowleys live on the correct side of campus, where the administrators and full professors have their little cottages. I
was surprised there wasn’t a butler with white gloves showing me in, but no, Mrs. Crowley herself graciously led to the sitting room. Mr. Crowley stood, shook hands, and we sat down around a small table.

  “Thank you so much for coming, Alice. Would you like coffee or tea?”

  “Coffee please, and thank you for inviting me.” Coffee was poured and a silver tray with cookies and scones passed around.

  Yes, I know all about scones. The parents in one of my foster homes were Scottish. Never liked scones much, except when generously smeared with orange marmalade, and that marmalade better be from Scotland.

  Such a wonderful time when I was 15. My handsome foster-father enlivened my life back then by generously sharing his passion for scones and sex. He was a wonderful teacher, and I am so grateful for the love, joy and scones we shared.

  Oh my, another heresy to enrage the righteous.

  Would anyone like to kiss my pretty kitty again?

  “I watched your attempts to move the paper last night and am a little puzzled. I sense you have the Gift.”

  “I tried hard and was so surprised when others succeeded. I didn’t know you could do that.”

  “Yes, it can be quite a shock.”

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Mr. Crowley began. “This morning I talked to some friends at the University. Your guidance counselor feels you have enormous academic potential and have passed an amazing number of opt-out tests.”

  “Mr. Taylor has been so helpful. I would never have been able to pass those tests without his support and guidance.” Maybe I’m buttering the bread a little thick.

  “Mrs. Crowley and I are on the board of a foundation that provides support for promising young students. You apparently have limited resources. Would you be interested in applying for a scholarship?”

  “I don’t know, I have a part-time job now and think I can make it. I’m grateful for your kindness but don’t like to depend on others.”

  “Very commendable. The primary reason financial assistance is offered is to free students to devote full time to their academic pursuits, rather than having to support themselves with outside work. The assistance provided is the payment of tuition and a modest monthly stipend.”