Evelina

by Frances Burney

  I will bid these words dwell ever in my memory, and they shall chear, comfort, and enliven me! This conversation, though extremely affecting to me at the time it passed, has relieved my mind from much anxiety. Concealment, my dear Maria, is the foe of tranquillity: however I may err in future, I will never be disingenuous in acknowledging my errors. To you, and to Mr Villars, I vow an unremitting confidence.

  And yet, though I am more at ease, I am far from well: I have been some time writing this letter; but I hope I shall send you, soon, a more chearful one.

  Adieu, my sweet friend. I entreat you not to acquaint even your dear mother with this affair; Lord Orville is a favourite with her, and why should I publish that he deserves not that honour?

  Letter Thirty

  Evelina in continuation

  Bristol Hotwell, August 28

  You will be again surprised, my dear Maria, at seeing whence I date my letter: but I have been very ill, and Mr Villars was so much alarmed, that he not only insisted upon my accompanying Mrs Selwyn hither, but earnestly desired she would hasten her intended journey.

  We travelled very slowly, and I did not find myself so much fatigued as I expected. We are situated upon a most delightful spot; the prospect is beautiful, the air pure, and the weather very favourable to invalids. I am already better, and I doubt not but I shall soon be well; as well, in regard to mere health, as I wish to be.

  I cannot express the reluctance with which I parted from my revered Mr Villars: it was not like that parting which, last April, preceded my journey to Howard Grove, when, all expectation and hope, though I wept, I rejoiced, and though I sincerely grieved to leave him, I yet wished to be gone: the sorrow I now felt was unmixed with any livelier sensation; expectation was vanished, and hope I had none! All that I held most dear upon earth, I quitted, and that upon an errand to the success of which I was totally indifferent, the re-establishment of my health. Had it been to have seen my sweet Maria, or her dear mother, I should not have repined.

  Mrs Selwyn is very kind and attentive to me. She is extremely clever; her understanding, indeed, may be called masculine; but, unfortunately, her manners deserve the same epithet; for, in studying to acquire the knowledge of the other sex, she has lost all the softness of her own. In regard to myself, however, as I have neither courage nor inclination to argue with her, I have never been personally hurt at her want of gentleness; a virtue which, nevertheless, seems so essential a part of the female character, that I find myself more awkward, and less at ease, with a woman who wants it, than I do with a man. She is not a favourite with Mr Villars, who has often been disgusted at her unmerciful propensity to satire: but his anxiety that I should try the effect of the Bristol waters, overcame his dislike of committing me to her care. Mrs Clinton is also here; so that I shall be as well attended as his utmost partiality could desire.

  I will continue to write to you, my dear Miss Mirvan, with as much constancy as if I had no other correspondent; though during my absence from Berry Hill, my letters may, perhaps, be shortened on account of the minuteness of the journal which I must write to my beloved Mr Villars: but you, who know his expectations, and how many ties bind me to fulfil them, will, I am sure, rather excuse any omission to yourself, than any negligence to him.

  END OF THE SECOND VOLUME

  VOLUME THREE

  Letter One

  Evelina to the Rev. Mr Villars

  Bristol Hotwells, Sept. 12

  The first fortnight that I passed here, was so quiet, so serene, that it gave me reason to expect a settled calm during my stay; but if I may now judge of the time to come, by the present state of my mind, the calm will be succeeded by a storm, of which I dread the violence!

  This morning, in my way to the Pump-room, with Mrs Selwyn, we were both very much incommoded by three gentlemen, who were sauntering by the side of the Avon, laughing, and talking very loud, and lounging so disagreeably, that we knew not how to pass them. They all three fixed their eyes very boldly upon me, alternately looking under my hat, and whispering one another. Mrs Selwyn assumed an air of uncommon sternness, and said, ‘You will please, Gentlemen, either to proceed yourselves, or to suffer us.’

  ‘Oh! Ma’am,’ cried one of them, ‘we will suffer you, with the greatest pleasure in life.’

  ‘You will suffer us both,’ answered she, ‘or I am much mistaken; you had better, therefore, make way quietly, for I should be sorry to give my servant the trouble of teaching you better manners.’

  Her commanding air struck them, yet they all chose to laugh, and one of them wished the fellow would begin his lesson, that he might have the pleasure of rolling him into the Avon; while another advancing to me with a freedom which made me start, said, ‘By my soul I did not know you! – but I am sure I cannot be mistaken; – had not I the honour of seeing you, once, at the Pantheon?’

  I then recollected the nobleman who, at that place, had so much embarrassed me. I courtsied without speaking. They all bowed, and making, though in a very easy manner, an apology to Mrs Selwyn, they suffered us to pass on, but chose to accompany us.

  ‘And where,’ continued this Lord, ‘can you so long have hid yourself? do you know I have been in search of you this age? I could neither find you out, nor hear of you: not a creature could inform me what was become of you. I cannot imagine where you could be immured. I was at two or three public places every night, in hopes of meeting you. Pray did you leave town?’

  ‘Yes, my Lord.’

  ‘So early in the season! – what could possibly induce you to go before the birth-day?’

  ‘I had nothing, my Lord, to do with the birth-day.’

  ‘By my soul, all the women who had, may rejoice you were away. Have you been here any time?’

  ‘Not above a fortnight, my Lord.’

  ‘A fortnight! – how unlucky that I did not meet you sooner! but I have had a run of ill luck ever since I came. How long shall you stay?’

  ‘Indeed, my Lord, I don’t know.’

  ‘Six weeks, I hope; for I shall wish the place at the devil when you go.’

  ‘Do you, then, flatter yourself, my Lord,’ said Mrs Selwyn, who had hitherto listened in silent contempt, ‘that you shall see such a beautiful spot as this, when you visit the dominions of the devil?’

  ‘Ha, ha, ha! Faith, my Lord,’ said one of his companions, who still walked with us, though the other had taken leave; ‘the Lady is rather hard upon you.’

  ‘Not at all,’ answered Mrs Selwyn; ‘for as I cannot doubt but his Lordship’s rank and interest will secure him a place there, it would be reflecting on his understanding, to suppose he should not wish to enlarge and beautify his dwelling.’

  Much as I was disgusted with this Lord, I must own Mrs Selwyn’s severity rather surprised me: but you, who have so often observed it, will not wonder she took so fair an opportunity of indulging her humour.

  ‘As to places,’ returned he, totally unmoved, ‘I am so indifferent to them, that the devil take me if I care which way I go! objects, indeed, I am not so easy about; and therefore I expect that those angels with whose beauty I am so much enraptured in this world, will have the goodness to afford me some little consolation in the other.’

  ‘What, my Lord!’ cried Mrs Selwyn, ‘would you wish to degrade the habitation of your friend, by admitting into it the insipid company of the upper regions?’

  ‘What do you do with yourself this evening?’ said his Lordship, turning to me.

  ‘I shall be at home, my Lord.’

  ‘O, à-propos – where are you?’

  ‘Young ladies, my Lord,’ said Mrs Selwyn, ‘are no where.’

  ‘Prithee,’ whispered his Lordship, ‘is that queer woman your mother?’

  Good Heavens, Sir, what words for such a question!

  ‘No, my Lord.’

  ‘Your maiden aunt, then?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Whoever she is, I wish she would mind her own affairs: I don’t know what the devil a woman lives for after
thirty: she is only in other folks’ way. Shall you be at the assembly?’

  ‘I believe not, my Lord.’

  ‘No! – why then how in the world can you contrive to pass your time?’

  ‘In a manner which your Lordship will think very extraordinary,’ cried Mrs Selwyn; ‘for the young Lady reads.’

  ‘Ha, ha, ha! Egad, my Lord,’ cried the facetious companion, ‘you are got into bad hands.’

  ‘You had better, Madam,’ answered he, ‘attack Jack Coverley, here, for you will make nothing of me.’

  ‘Of you, my Lord!’ cried she; ‘Heaven forbid I should ever entertain so idle an expectation! I only talk, like a silly woman, for the sake of talking; but I have by no means so low an opinion of your Lordship, as to suppose you vulnerable to censure.’

  ‘Do, pray, Ma’am,’ cried he, ‘turn to Jack Coverley; he’s the very man for you; – he’d be a wit himself if he was not too modest.’

  ‘Prithee, my Lord, be quiet,’ returned the other; ‘if the Lady is contented to bestow all her favours upon you, why should you make such a point of my going snacks?’

  ‘Don’t be apprehensive, Gentlemen,’ said Mrs Selwyn, drily, ‘I am not romantic, – I have not the least design of doing good to either of you.’

  ‘Have not you been ill since I saw you?’ said his Lordship again, addressing himself to me.

  ‘Yes, my Lord.’

  ‘I thought so; you are paler than you was, and I suppose that’s the reason I did not recollect you sooner.’

  ‘Has not your Lordship too much gallantry,’ cried Mrs Selwyn, ‘to discover a young lady’s illness by her looks?’

  ‘The devil a word can I speak for that woman,’ said he, in a low voice; ‘do, prithee, Jack, take her in hand.’

  ‘Excuse me, my Lord!’ answered Mr Coverley.

  ‘When shall I see you again?’ continued his Lordship; ‘do you go to the Pump-room every morning?’

  ‘No, my Lord.’

  ‘Do you ride out?’

  ‘No, my Lord.’

  Just then we arrived at the Pump-room, and an end was put to our conversation, if it is not an abuse of words to give such a term to a string of rude questions and free compliments.

  He had not opportunity to say much more to me, as Mrs Selwyn joined a large party, and I walked home between two ladies. He had, however, the curiosity to see us to the door.

  Mrs Selwyn was very eager to know how I had made acquaintance with this nobleman, whose manners so evidently announced the character of a confirmed libertine: I could give her very little satisfaction, as I was ignorant even of his name. But, in the afternoon, Mr Ridgeway the apothecary, gave us very ample information.

  As his person was easily described, for he is remarkably tall, Mr Ridgeway told us he was Lord Merton, a nobleman who is but lately come to his title, though he has already dissipated more than half his fortune: a professed admirer of beauty, but a man of most licentious character: that among men, his companions consisted chiefly of gamblers and jockies, and among women, he was rarely admitted.

  ‘Well, Miss Anville,’ said Mrs Selwyn, ‘I am glad I was not more civil to him. You may depend upon me for keeping him at a distance.’

  ‘O, Madam,’ said Mr Ridgeway, ‘he may now be admitted any where, for he is going to reform.’

  ‘Has he, under that notion, persuaded any fool to marry him?’

  ‘Not yet, Madam, but a marriage is expected to take place shortly: it has been some time in agitation, but the friends of the Lady have obliged her to wait till she is of age: however, her brother, who has chiefly opposed the match, now that she is near being at her own disposal, is tolerably quiet. She is very pretty, and will have a large fortune. We expect her at the Wells every day.’

  ‘What is her name?’ said Mrs Selwyn.

  ‘Larpent,’ answered he, ‘Lady Louisa Larpent, sister of Lord Orville.’

  ‘Lord Orville!’ repeated I, all amazement.

  ‘Yes, Ma’am; his Lordship is coming with her. I have had certain information. They are to be at the honourable Mrs Beaumont’s. She is a relation of my Lord’s and has a very fine house upon Clifton Hill.’

  His Lordship is coming with her! – Good God, what an emotion did those words give me! How strange, my dear Sir, that, just at this time, he should visit Bristol! It will be impossible for me to avoid seeing him, as Mrs Selwyn is very well acquainted with Mrs Beaumont. Indeed, I have had an escape in not being under the same roof with him, for Mrs Beaumont invited us to her house immediately upon our arrival; but the inconveniency of being so distant from the Pump-room made Mrs Selwyn decline her civility.

  Oh that the first meeting was over! – or that I could quit Bristol without seeing him! – inexpressibly do I dread an interview: should the same impertinent freedom be expressed by his looks, which dictated his cruel letter, I shall not know how to endure either him or myself. Had I but returned it, I should be easier, because my sentiments of it would then be known to him; but now, he can only gather them from my behaviour, and I tremble lest he should mistake my indignation for confusion! – lest he should misconstrue my reserve into embarrassment! – for how, my dearest Sir, how shall I be able totally to divest myself of the respect with which I have been used to think of him? – the pleasure with which I have been used to see him?

  Surely he, as well as I, must recollect the letter at the moment of our meeting, and he will, probably, mean to gather my thoughts of it from my looks; – oh that they could but convey to him my real detestation of impertinence and vanity! then would he see how much he had mistaken my disposition when he imagined them my due.

  There was a time when the very idea that such a man as Lord Merton should ever be connected with Lord Orville, would have both surprised and shocked me, and even yet I am pleased to hear of his repugnance to the marriage.

  But how strange, that a man of so abandoned a character should be the choice of a sister of Lord Orville! and how strange that, almost at the moment of the union, he should be so importunate in gallantry to another woman! What a world is this we live in! how corrupt! how degenerate! well might I be contented to see no more of it! If I find that the eyes of Lord Orville agree with his pen, – I shall then think, that of all mankind, the only virtuous individual resides at Berry Hill.

  Letter Two

  Evelina in continuation

  Bristol Hotwells, Sept. 16

  Oh Sir, Lord Orville is still himself! still, what from the moment I beheld, I believed him to be – all that is amiable in man! and your happy Evelina, restored at once to spirits and tranquillity, is no longer sunk in her own opinion, nor discontented with the world, – no longer, with dejected eyes, sees the prospect of passing her future days in sadness, doubt, and suspicion! – with revived courage she now looks forward, and expects to meet with goodness, even among mankind: – though still she feels, as strongly as ever, the folly of hoping, in any second instance, to meet with perfection.

  Your conjecture was certainly right; Lord Orville, when he wrote that letter, could not be in his senses. Oh that intemperance should have power to degrade so low, a man so noble!

  This morning I accompanied Mrs Selwyn to Clifton Hill, where, beautifully situated, is the house of Mrs Beaumont. Most uncomfortable were my feelings during our walk, which was very slow, for the agitation of my mind made me more than usually sensible how weak I still continue. As we entered the house, I summoned all my resolution to my aid, determined rather to die than give Lord Orville reason to attribute my weakness to a wrong cause. I was happily relieved from my perturbation, when I saw Mrs Beaumont was alone. We sat with her for, I believe, an hour without interruption, and then we saw a phaeton drive up to the gate, and a lady and gentleman alight from it.

  They entered the parlour with the ease of people who were at home. The gentleman, I soon saw, was Lord Merton; he came shuffling into the room with his boots on, and his whip in his hand; and, having made something like a bow to Mrs Beaumont, he turned towards me.
His surprise was very evident, but he took no manner of notice of me. He waited, I believe, to discover, first, what chance had brought me to that house, where he did not look much rejoiced at meeting me. He seated himself very quietly at the window, without speaking to any body.

  Mean time, the lady, who seemed very young, hobbling rather than walking into the room, made a passing courtsie to Mrs Beaumont, saying, ‘How are you, Ma’am?’ and then, without noticing any body else, with an air of languor she flung herself upon a sofa, protesting, in a most affected voice, and speaking so softly she could hardly be heard, that she was fatigued to death. ‘Really, Ma’am, the roads are so monstrous dusty, – you can’t imagine how troublesome the dust is to one’s eyes! – and the sun, too, is monstrous disagreeable! – I dare say I shall be so tanned I sha’n’t be fit to be seen this age. Indeed, my Lord, I won’t go out with you any more, for you don’t care where you take one.’

  ‘Upon my honour,’ said Lord Merton, ‘I took you the pleasantest ride in England; the fault was in the sun, not me.’

  ‘Your Lordship is in the right,’ said Mrs Selwyn, ‘to transfer the fault to the sun, because it has so many excellencies to counterbalance partial inconveniences, that a little blame will not injure that in our estimation.’

  Lord Merton looked by no means delighted at this attack; which I believe she would not so readily have made, but to revenge his neglect of us.

  ‘Did you meet your brother, Lady Louisa?’ said Mrs Beaumont.

  ‘No Ma’am. Is he rode out this morning?’

  I then found, what I had before suspected, that this Lady was Lord Orville’s sister: how strange, that such near relations should be so different to each other! There is, indeed, some resemblance in their features, but in their manners, not the least.

  ‘Yes,’ answered Mrs Beaumont, ‘and I believe he wished to see you.’

  ‘My Lord drove so monstrous fast,’ said Lady Louisa, ‘that perhaps we passed him. He frighted me out of my senses; I declare my head is quite giddy: Do you know, Ma’am, we have done nothing but quarrel all the morning? – You can’t think how I’ve scolded; – have not I, my Lord?’ and she smiled expressively at Lord Merton.