Evelina

by Frances Burney

  ‘Why, no, Ma’am; I must own, I never heard any particular reason for it.’

  ‘Why then, Sir, I’ll tell it you; and I believe you will confess it to be very particular; his Lordship’s friends are not yet tired of him.’

  Lord Orville laughed and bowed. Mr Coverley, a little confused, turned to Lord Merton, and said, ‘No foul play, my Lord! I remember your Lordship recommended me to the notice of this lady the other morning, and, egad, I believe you have been doing me the same office to-day.’

  ‘Give you joy, Jack!’ cried Lord Merton, with a loud laugh.

  After this, the conversation turned wholly upon eating, a subject which was discussed with the utmost delight; and, had I not known they were men of rank and fashion, I should have imagined that Lord Merton, Mr Lovel, and Mr Coverley, had all been professed cooks; for they displayed so much knowledge of sauces and made dishes, and of the various methods of dressing the same things, that I am persuaded they must have given much time, and much study, to make themselves such adepts in this art. It would be very difficult to determine, whether they were most to be distinguished as gluttons, or epicures; for they were, at once, dainty and voracious, understood the right and the wrong of every dish, and alike emptied the one and the other. I should have been quite sick of their remarks, had I not been entertained by seeing that Lord Orville, who, I am sure, was equally disgusted, not only read my sentiments, but, by his countenance, communicated to me his own.

  When dinner was over, Mrs Beaumont recommended the gentlemen to the care of Lord Orville, and then attended the ladies to the drawing-room.

  The conversation, till tea-time, was extremely insipid; Mrs Selwyn reserved herself for the gentlemen, Mrs Beaumont was grave, and Lady Louisa languid.

  But, at tea, every body revived; we were joined by the gentlemen, and gaiety took place of dullness.

  Since I, as Mr Lovel says, am Nobody, I seated myself quietly on a window, and not very near to any body: Lord Merton, Mr Coverley, and Mr Lovel, severally passed me without notice, and surrounded the chair of Lady Louisa Larpent. I must own, I was rather piqued at the behaviour of Mr Lovel, as he had formerly known me. It is true, I most sincerely despise his foppery, yet I should be grieved to meet with contempt from any body. But I was by no means sorry to find, that Lord Merton was determined not to know me before Lady Louisa, as his neglect relieved me from much embarrassment. As to Mr Coverley, his attention or disregard were equally indifferent to me. Yet, altogether, I felt extremely uncomfortable in finding myself considered in a light very inferior to the rest of the company.

  But, when Lord Orville appeared, the scene changed: he came up stairs last, and seeing me sit alone, not only spoke to me directly, but drew a chair next mine, and honoured me with his entire attention.

  He enquired very particularly after my health, and hoped I had already found benefit from the Bristol air. ‘How little did I imagine,’ added he, ‘when I had last the pleasure of seeing you in town, that ill health would, in so short a time, have brought you hither! I am ashamed of myself for the satisfaction I feel at seeing you, – yet how can I help it!’

  He then enquired after the Mirvan family, and spoke of Mrs Mirvan in terms of most just praise. ‘She is gentle and amiable,’ said he, ‘a true feminine character.’

  ‘Yes, indeed,’ answered I, ‘and her sweet daughter, to say every thing of her at once, is just the daughter such a mother deserves.’

  ‘I am glad of it,’ said he, ‘for both their sakes, as such near relations must always reflect credit or disgrace on each other.’

  After this, he began to speak of the beauties of Clifton; but, in a few moments, he was interrupted by a call from the company, to discuss the affair of the wager. Lord Merton and Mr Coverley, though they had been discoursing upon the subject some time, could not fix upon any thing that satisfied them both.

  When they asked the assistance of Lord Orville, he proposed that every body present should vote something, and that the two gentlemen should draw lots which, from the several votes, should decide the bet.

  ‘We must then begin with the ladies,’ said Lord Orville; and applied to Mrs Selwyn.

  ‘With all my heart,’ answered she, with her usual readiness; ‘and, since the gentlemen are not allowed to risk their necks, suppose we decide the bet by their heads?’

  ‘By our heads?’ cried Mr Coverley; ‘Egad, I don’t understand you.’

  ‘I will then explain myself more fully. As I doubt not but you are both excellent classics, suppose, for the good of your own memories, and the entertainment and surprise of the company, the thousand pounds should fall to the share of him who can repeat by heart the longest ode of Horace?’

  Nobody could help laughing, the two gentlemen applied to excepted; who seemed, each of them, rather at a loss in what manner to receive this unexpected proposal. At length Mr Coverley, bowing low, said, ‘Will your Lordship please to begin?’

  ‘Devil take me if I do!’ answered he, turning on his heel, and stalking to the window.

  ‘Come, Gentlemen,’ said Mrs Selwyn, ‘why do you hesitate? I am sure you cannot be afraid of a weak woman? Besides, if you should chance to be out, Mr Lovel, I dare say, will have the goodness to assist you.’

  The laugh, now, turned against Mr Lovel, whose change of countenance manifested no great pleasure at the transition.

  ‘Me, Madam!’ said he, colouring, ‘no, really I must beg to be excused.’

  ‘Why so, Sir?’

  ‘Why so, Ma’am? – Why, really, – as to that, – ’pon honour, Ma’am, you are rather – a little severe; – for how is it possible for a man who is in the House, to study the classics? I assure you, Ma’am,’ (with an affected shrug) ‘I find quite business enough for my poor head, in studying politics.’

  ‘But, did you study politics at school, and at the university?’

  ‘At the university!’ repeated he with an embarrassed look; ‘why, as to that, Ma’am – no, I can’t say I did; but then, what with riding, – and – and – and so forth, – really, one has not much time, even at the university, for mere reading.’

  ‘But, to be sure, Sir, you have read the classics?’

  ‘O dear, yes, Ma’am! – very often, – but not very – not very lately.’

  ‘Which of the odes do you recommend to these gentlemen to begin with?’

  ‘Which of the odes! – Really, Ma’am, as to that, I have no very particular choice, – for, to own the truth, that Horace was never a very great favourite with me.’

  ‘In truth I believe you!’ said Mrs Selwyn, very drily.

  Lord Merton, again advancing into the circle, with a nod and a laugh, said, ‘Give you joy, Lovel!’

  Lord Orville next applied to Mrs Beaumont for her vote.

  ‘It would very agreeably remind me of past times,’ said she, ‘when bowing was in fashion, if the bet was to depend upon the best-made bow.’

  ‘Egad, my Lord!’ cried Mr Coverley, ‘there I should beat you hollow, for your Lordship never bows at all.’

  ‘And, pray Sir, do you?’ said Mrs Selwyn.

  ‘Do I, Ma’am?’ cried he, ‘Why, only see!’

  ‘I protest,’ cried she, ‘I should have taken that for a shrug, if you had not told me ’twas a bow.’

  ‘My Lord,’ cried Mr Coverley, ‘let’s practise;’ and then, most ridiculously, they pranced about the room, making bows.

  ‘We must now,’ said Lord Orville, turning to me, ‘call upon Miss Anville.’

  ‘O no, my Lord,’ cried I, ‘indeed I have nothing to propose.’ He would not, however, be refused, but urged me so much to say something, that at last, not to make him wait any longer, I ventured to propose an extempore couplet upon some given subject.

  Mr Coverley instantly made me a bow, or, according to Mrs Selwyn, a shrug, crying, ‘Thank you, Ma’am; egad, that’s my fort! – Why, my Lord, the Fates seem against you.’

  Lady Louisa was then applied to; and every body seemed eager to hear her opin
ion. ‘I don’t know what to say, I declare,’ cried she, affectedly; ‘can’t you pass me?’

  ‘By no means!’ said Lord Merton.

  ‘Is it possible your Ladyship can make so cruel a request?’ said Mr Lovel.

  ‘Egad,’ cried Mr Coverley, ‘if your Ladyship does not help us in this dilemma, we shall be forced to return to our phaetons.’

  ‘Oh,’ cried Lady Louisa, screaming, ‘you frightful creature, you, how can you be so abominable!’

  I believe this trifling lasted near half an hour; when, at length, every body being tired, it was given up, and she said she would consider against another time.

  Lord Orville now called upon Mr Lovel, who, after about ten minutes deliberation, proposed, with a most important face, to determine the wager by who should draw the longest straw!

  I had much difficulty to forbear laughing at this unmeaning scheme; but saw, to my great surprise, not the least change of countenance in any other person: and, since we came home, Mrs Selwyn has informed me, that to draw straws is a fashion of betting by no means uncommon! Good God! my dear Sir, does it not seem as if money were of no value or service, since those who possess, squander it away in a manner so infinitely absurd!

  It now only remained for Lord Orville to speak; and the attention of the company shewed the expectations he had raised; yet, I believe, they by no means prevented his proposal from being heard with amazement; for it was no other, than that the money should be his due, who, according to the opinion of two judges, should bring the worthiest object with whom to share it!

  They all stared, without speaking. Indeed, I believe every one, for a moment at least, experienced something like shame, from having either proposed or countenanced an extravagance so useless and frivolous. For my part, I was so much struck and affected by a rebuke so noble to these spendthrifts, that I felt my eyes filled with tears.

  The short silence, and momentary reflection into which the company was surprised, Mr Coverley was the first to dispel, by saying, ‘Egad, my Lord, your Lordship has a most remarkable odd way of taking things.’

  ‘Faith,’ said the incorrigible Lord Merton, ‘if this scheme takes, I shall fix upon my Swiss to share with me; for I don’t know a worthier fellow breathing.’

  After a few more of these attempts at wit, the two gentlemen agreed that they would settle the affair the next morning.

  The conversation then took a different turn, but I did not give it sufficient attention to write any account of it. Not long after, Lord Orville resuming his seat next mine, said, ‘Why is Miss Anville so thoughtful?’

  ‘I am sorry, my Lord,’ said I, ‘to consider myself among those who have so justly incurred your censure.’

  ‘My censure! – you amaze me!’

  ‘Indeed, my Lord, you have made me quite ashamed of myself, for having given my vote so foolishly, when an opportunity offered, if, like your Lordship, I had had the sense to use it, of shewing some humanity.’

  ‘You treat this too seriously,’ said he, smiling; ‘and I hardly know if you do not now mean a rebuke to me.’

  ‘To you, my Lord!’

  ‘Nay, who are most deserving of it, those who adapt the conversation to the company, or, those who affect to be superior to it?’

  ‘O, my Lord, who else would do you so little justice?’

  ‘I flatter myself,’ answered he, ‘that, in fact, your opinion and mine, in this point, are the same, though you condescended to comply with the humour of the company. It is for me, therefore, to apologize for so unreasonable a gravity, which, but for the particular interest that I now take in the affairs of Lord Merton, I should not have been so officious to display.’

  Such a compliment as this could not fail to reconcile me to myself; and with revived spirits, I entered into a conversation, which he supported with me till Mrs Selwyn’s carriage was announced, and we returned home.

  During our ride, Mrs Selwyn very much surprised me, by asking if I thought my health would now permit me to give up my morning walks to the Pump-room, for the purpose of spending a week at Clifton? ‘for this poor Mrs Beaumont,’ added she, ‘is so eager to have a discharge in full of her debt to me, that, out of mere compassion, I am induced to listen to her. Besides she has always a house full of people, and though they are chiefly fools and coxcombs, yet there is some pleasure in cutting them up.’

  I begged I might not, by any means, prevent her following her inclination, as my health was now very well established. And so, my dear Sir, to-morrow we are to be, actually, the guests of Mrs Beaumont.

  I am not much delighted at this scheme; for, greatly as I am flattered by the attention of Lord Orville, it is not very comfortable to be neglected by every body else. Besides, as I am sure I owe the particularity of his civility to a generous feeling for my situation, I cannot expect him to support it so long as a week.

  How often do I wish, since I am absent from you, that I was under the protection of Mrs Mirvan! It is true, Mrs Selwyn is very obliging, and, in every respect, treats me as an equal; but she is contented with behaving well herself, and does not, with a distinguishing politeness, raise and support me with others. Yet I mean not to blame her, for I know she is sincerely my friend; but the fact is, she is herself so much occupied in conversation, when in company, that she has neither leisure nor thought to attend to the silent.

  Well, I must take my chance! But I knew not, till now, how requisite are birth and fortune to the attainment of respect and civility.

  Letter Four

  Evelina in continuation

  Clifton, Sept. 20th

  Here I am, my dear Sir, under the same roof; and inmate of the same house, as Lord Orville! Indeed, if this were not the case, my situation would be very disagreeable, as you will easily believe, when I tell you the light in which I am generally considered.

  ‘My dear,’ said Mrs Selwyn, ‘did you ever before meet with that egregious fop, Lovel?’

  I very readily satisfied her as to my acquaintance with him.

  ‘O then,’ said she, ‘I am the less surprised at his ill-nature, since he has already injured you.’

  I begged her to explain herself; and then she told me, that while Lord Orville was speaking to me, Lady Louisa said to Mr Lovel, ‘do you know who that is?’

  ‘Why, Ma’am, no, ’pon honour,’ answered he, ‘I can’t absolutely say I do; I only know she is a kind of a toad-eater. She made her first appearance in that capacity last Spring, when she attended Miss Mirvan, a young lady of Kent.’

  How cruel is it, my dear Sir, to be thus exposed to the impertinent suggestions of a man who is determined to do me ill offices! Lady Louisa may well despise a toad-eater; but, thank Heaven, her brother has not heard, or does not credit, the mortifying appellation. Mrs Selwyn said, she would advise me to pay my court to this Mr Lovel; ‘for,’ said she, ‘though he is malicious, he is fashionable, and may do you some harm in the great world.’ But I should disdain myself as much as I do him, were I capable of such duplicity, as to flatter a man who I scorn and despise.

  We were received by Mrs Beaumont with great civility, and by Lord Orville with something more. As to Lady Louisa, she scarcely perceived that we were in the room.

  There has been company here all day; part of which I have spent most happily; for after tea, when the ladies played at cards, Lord Orville, who does not, and I who cannot play, were consequently at our own disposal; and then his Lordship entered into a conversation with me, which lasted till supper-time.

  Almost insensibly, I find the constraint, the reserve, I have been wont to feel in his presence, wear away; the politeness, the sweetness, with which he speaks to me, restore all my natural chearfulness, and make me almost as easy as he is himself; and the more so, as, if I may judge by his looks, I am rather raised, than sunk, of late in his opinion.

  I asked him, how the bet was, at last, to be decided? He told me, that, to his great satisfaction, the parties had been prevailed upon to lower the sum from one thousand to one hundr
ed pounds; and that they had agreed it should be determined, by a race between two old women, one of which was to be chosen by each side, and both were to be proved more than eighty years of age, though, in other respects, strong and healthy as possible.

  When I expressed my surprise at this extraordinary method of spending so much money, ‘I am charmed,’ said he, ‘at the novelty of meeting with one so unhackneyed in the world, as not to be yet influenced by custom to forget the use of reason: for certain it is, that the prevalence of fashion makes the greatest absurdities pass uncensured, and the mind naturally accommodates itself, even to the most ridiculous improprieties, if they occur frequently.’

  ‘I should have hoped,’ said I, ‘that the humane proposal made yesterday by your Lordship, would have had more effect.’

  ‘O,’ cried he, laughing, ‘I was so far from expecting any success, that I shall think myself very fortunate if I escape the wit of Mr Coverley in a lampoon! yet I spoke openly, because I do not wish to conceal that I am no friend to gaming.’

  After this, he took up the New Bath Guide, and read it with me till supper-time. In our way down stairs, Lady Louisa said, ‘I thought, Brother, you were engaged this evening?’

  ‘Yes, Sister,’ answered he, ‘and I have been engaged.’ And he bowed to me with an air of gallantry that rather confused me.

  September 23d

  Almost insensibly have three days glided on since I wrote last, and so serenely, that, but for your absence, I could not have formed a wish. My residence here is much happier than I had dared expect. The attention with which Lord Orville honours me is as uniform as it is flattering, and seems to result from a benevolence of heart that proves him as much a stranger to caprice as to pride; for, as his particular civilities arose from a generous resentment at seeing me neglected, so will they, I trust, continue, as long as I shall, in any degree, deserve them. I am now not merely easy, but even gay in his presence: such is the effect of true politeness, that it banishes all restraint and embarrassment. When we walk out, he condescends to be my companion, and keeps by my side all the way we go. When we read, he marks the passages most worthy to be noticed, draws out my sentiments, and favours me with his own. At table, where he always sits next to me, he obliges me by a thousand nameless attentions, while the distinguishing good-breeding with which he treats me, prevents my repining at the visibly-felt superiority of the rest of the company. A thousand occasional meetings could not have brought us to that degree of social freedom, which four days spent under the same roof have, insensibly, been productive of: and, as my only friend in this house, Mrs Selwyn, is too much engrossed in perpetual conversation to attend much to me, Lord Orville seems to regard me as a helpless stranger, and, as such, to think me entitled to his good offices and protection. Indeed, my dear Sir, I have reason to hope, that the depreciating opinion he formerly entertained of me is succeeded by one infinitely more partial. – It may be that I flatter myself, but yet his looks, his attentions, his desire of drawing me into conversation, and his solicitude to oblige me, all conspire to make me hope I do not. In short, my dearest Sir, these last four happy days would repay me for months of sorrow and pain!