Focus: Exposure Series Book Two

by Jocoby, Annie

  With tears in my eyes, I finally held out my hand. “Okay, give me that pill,” I said. I felt completely defeated.

  But at least, as Andrea said, I wasn’t going to have to go out there sober. If I did that, I would imagine that I wouldn’t be able to recover.

  Chapter 15

  It wasn’t long before the effects of the drug started to take place. At first, I started to feel a bit happy. I followed Andrea around the club, and she introduced me to a man by the name of William. He was an older man, about 70, I would guess, paunchy and bald. Andrea told me that William was a billionaire, and was the best prospect I had there at the club. He was very choosy about his women, so Andrea was more than excited that he had asked her if he could meet me.

  To my surprise, I wasn’t exactly put off by this person. I was feeling sociable, and wanting to get close to Andrea. I didn’t want this man, William, or any of the other men in the club. But I did want to stay close with Andrea.

  However, this man didn’t skeeve me out like he would have had I been completely sober, so there was that.

  “William,” Andrea had said, “you said that you wanted to meet Venus here,” she said. She told me earlier that I was going to have to assume a strippery name while I was working the club. When I was selected for “extracurriculars” as Andrea so kindly put it, I could give them my actual name if I wanted to. I chose the name of “Venus,” because she was the goddess of love, and I ruefully thought that the name might be apropos for what I was about to do.

  He chuckled, and rubbed his enormous belly. “Yes,” he said. The man had a deep-south accent, and I understood that he was an oil man from Texas. “She’s just the kind of girl I like.” He brought me down on his lap, and, to my dismay, Andrea left me. “I’ll be back to check on you,” she said. “In the meantime, give him a lap dance. Or do whatever comes naturally for you.”

  I squinted at the man, and, for just a second, he looked different to me. I must have started to hallucinate, because his head suddenly seemed enormous, and his voice was loud in my ears. “Dance for me,” he said as he rubbed my ass. “Let’s see what you got.”

  I looked over at other girls who were giving lap dances, and tried to imitate their moves. I didn’t feel ridiculous doing this, although I certainly would have if I were sober, because that drug really started to work at this point.

  “You dance well,” he said, as his slimy hands made their way up my thigh. “Very well.” He whispered in my ear. “How would you like to make ten grand tonight?”

  I turned around. His head still seemed ginormous, and was getting larger all the time. “What would I have to do for that kind of money?” I asked.

  “I have some friends who are here with me from Dallas. Five men. Are you interested?”

  I wondered what would happen to me if I said no. Robert might beat me if I turned something like this down. Ten thousand dollars seemed like a lot of money for the night, even for a place like this. Andrea said that she only got around $5,000. But, then again, I would assume that Andrea wouldn’t be required to participate in a gang-bang, as I evidently was going to have to for the money.

  “Let me find Andrea,” I said. “This is my first night, and I have to talk to her.”

  “Well, hurry back,” he said. “I love fresh meat. And it seems like you have the freshest meat in this club. I haven’t seen you around here before.”

  “As I said, it’s my first night. I’ll be right back.”

  I found Andrea talking to a middle-aged man with a swarthy complexion. He looked like he could be Greek or Italian or Middle-Eastern. I really couldn’t tell.

  “Andrea,” I whispered to her. “I need to talk to you.”

  “CJ,” she whispered back. “What now? I’m working here.”

  “I know,” I said, looking at the swarthy guy. “But I really need to talk to you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Manuel,” she said to the man. “I’ll be right back.”

  “You know I’ll be waiting right here,” he said. “You were the reason why I came tonight in the first place.”

  She laughed lightly as she led me away to a dark booth that, at the moment, was quiet. “What is your problem?” she asked me.

  “That fat cat,” I said. “He wants me for a gang-bang tonight for $10,000. I don’t want to go. Will Robert be angry with me if I don’t?”

  “Hell yes, Robert will be angry with you,” she said. “That man is a VIP. If he wants a girl, he’s going to get her. And if he’s offering you $10,000, and if you turn that down, you’ll be beaten for sure. That’s a lot of money for one night, especially on your first night.” Then she smiled. “Think of it this way. You’ll come out of this thing $5,000 richer.”

  “But Andrea, I don’t want to go with that guy. He grosses me out.”

  “Even on Ecstasy?” she said. “Sounds like I need to give you another tablet.” She went over to the bar, and came back with another pink tablet. This one had a little bunny engraved on it. “Here. Take this. You’re going to have to keep taking these tablets until you no longer have reservations about the gang-bang.”

  “I’ll never not have reservations about the gang-bang,” I said. “And, even if I do end up going with them, after having taken enough Ecstasy to land me in the hospital, I’m going to wake up and realize what I did, and I don’t think that I could take that. Please, Andrea. Please talk to that man and tell him ‘no thanks’ for me. Tell him that I’m new here and that I’m not ready for something like that. Please, Andrea. Please?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay. I’ll find another girl for him. But, I’m warning you. If he wants you, and only you, then you’re just going to have to suck it up and go with him. And you’re going to have to find a way to enjoy yourself while you’re there.”

  “Thank you, Andrea,” I said.

  “Don’t thank me yet,” she said. “I don’t know what he’s going to say. He might say that he has his sights set on you, and you’re just going to have to live with it.”

  “What if he says okay? He’ll take another girl?”

  “Then I’ll introduce you to somebody else. Perhaps somebody who is a little more to your liking.”

  I found myself shaking. Even though the drug was making me feel, on the surface, euphoric, that didn’t matter. There was still a large part of me that was physically revolted by this whole thing. And that part of me was feeling humiliated and ashamed by all the men who were ogling me that night.

  In five minutes, Andrea came back. “You’re in luck,” she said. “He already had another girl on his lap when I went to talk to him. She’s agreed to the gang bang, and is happy to do it. So, I need to find you another prospect.” She scanned the crowd. “I’ll try to find you somebody who is a bit more suitable for your first night. Somebody who I’m reasonably sure isn’t going to ask you to do a gang bang.”

  “Is that something that William does a lot?”

  “On occasions he does. He pays well, though, so the girls are usually game for it. I’ve even done a few over the years. They aren’t as bad as you think, especially if you’re drunk or high during it. That’s really the key, anyhow. Stay drunk or high, and this job is a breeze. The easiest money you will ever make.”

  I followed her around some more. She finally found somebody who was, at the very least, reasonably good-looking. He still skeeved me out, but at least he wasn’t physically unattractive like the last guy.

  She put her hands on his shoulders. “Venus, I would like for you to meet Matthew. Matthew, this is Venus. Matthew is a trust-fund baby who owns a yacht on the harbor.” She smiled and winked as she told me in a low voice that “Matthew takes his girls to his yacht. It’s a humdinger, too. And, if you guys hit it off, he’ll take you to the Caribbean on that thing. You haven’t lived until you’ve done that.”

  I shook the man’s hand. He was okay-looking. By most standards, he was actually quite handsome. He was a bit toothy, and he looked like a typical prep-school bastard, right out
of the movies. He looked like his name should be “Porter Williams the III,” or some such.

  I relaxed, though, just because he didn’t skeeve me out quite as much as the last guy did. “Venus,” he said. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He wasted no time putting his finger on my crotch, and it made its way underneath the g-string to my clit.

  I felt like vomiting, and then I brought out that second pill that Andrea had given me. The pill with the little bunny on it. “Do you mind giving me some of your drink?” I asked the guy. “I need to take this pill really quick.”

  He laughed. “No, not at all. I want you to be happy, and that pill will make you feel very happy.”

  I had to take that pill to keep myself from hitting him in the nose.

  He was right, though. I started to feel even happier. And the hallucinations that happened with the last guy were starting again, even more than before. The man was talking to me, and pulling me down on his lap, and I felt like he wasn’t real at all.

  Then I started to fantasize that he was Asher. I guess that Asher was so much on my mind at this point that I absolutely craved seeing him. So, as he started to put his hands all over my body, I let him do it. In fact, I wanted him to do it.

  “Asher,” I said to the guy. “That feels amazing.”

  “Asher?” he said. “Oh, I get it. We’re role-playing here, right?” At that, he put his finger on my clit and rolled it around inside of me. I groaned and started to grind on him. “What should I call you, Venus?”

  “CJ, of course,” I said. “How could you not know that?”

  “CJ,” he said with a smile. “What does that stand for?”

  “Cordelia Jane,” I said. “Don’t laugh.”

  “Why would I laugh? I love King Lear.”

  “Cordelia was the good daughter,” I said. “That doesn’t fit me at all.”

  “Why? Are you a bad girl?”

  I shook my head. “Be quiet,” I said. I wanted to continue the fantasy that he was Asher and his voice, which was so different from Asher’s sexy and throaty voice, was completely taking me out of this dream. “I need for you to not talk.” At that, I put my lips gently on his, and his mouth enveloped mine hungrily.

  I stopped, though, before things could go too far. “I need another hit of Ecstasy,” I said. I still wasn’t quite where I needed to be with this guy. I needed to be completely obliterated. Otherwise, there was no way that I would be able to pull off what I apparently needed to pull off, in order for Robert to leave me alone. I didn’t want to be beaten and sent to the hospital, so I needed to make sure that I went home with someone that night.

  “Here,” he said, giving me a different little tablet. “Take this. You’ll like this.”

  “What is this?” I asked him.

  “Acid,” he said with a smile.

  “Acid? Like hippy stuff?” I had never tried such a thing, but I knew people who did. They were my college buddies, and they swore it was pretty cool to be on it. I knew that this drug caused some pretty vivid hallucinations, which was really what I was aiming for. Hallucinations would mean that I could leave this reality for real. The Ecstasy was getting me there, but I still couldn’t get Asher out of my head.

  Yes, an altered reality was exactly what I needed right then. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll take this.”

  “Good,” he said as he watched me put the tablet on my tongue. I swallowed it, and waited for the effects to start.

  It didn’t take long. Within a few minutes, I really started to see things. It was probably because of the hit of acid, combined with the two hits off Ecstasy that were really kicking in, but, suddenly, everything in the bar seemed to fade away. I looked up at the ceiling, and there were reindeer flying across the room. I smiled, charmed by the animals. One of the reindeers landed on the table in front of me, and I petted it.

  “What are you doing?” a voice said to me.

  “Donner,” I said. “Don’t you see that? There’s a reindeer right there on the table.”

  I felt somebody’s hands on me, wandering all over my body. I could still see things in the club, but they looked completely distorted. The guy whose lap I was still on looked like a Gumby doll, all stretchy and long. And I recognized Andrea coming up to me. She, too, looked stretchy and long. Her neck was really long, like a swan. It reminded me of the illustrations of Alice in my Alice in Wonderland book I read as a kid.

  I was vaguely aware that I was putting my hands on her neck, but not as a threatening gesture. She started to laugh. Then it seemed like everybody in the bar was laughing along with her, and pointing right at me. “You’re seeing a reindeer?” she asked me. “Oh, God, Matthew, what did you give her?”

  “Some acid,” he said. “She needs to relax and enjoy the ride.”

  “Venus,” Andrea was saying. “The gang bang offer is still open. I mean, he found another girl, but you’re still first choice. I just asked him about it. He said that the other guys who would be involved are much younger than him, so you might have a good time.”

  I shook my head. “Cordelia. My name is Cordelia.” And, suddenly, I was Cordelia from the play King Lear. “My father has banished me, but I will always be loyal to him.” I stared at Andrea, with the neck that now looked like a giraffe. “Did you ever think that the tale of Cinderella was based on Cordelia, Goneril and Regan? I never thought about that. I wonder if Grimm thought about that?”

  “Grimm wasn’t the first person to write about that story,” Andrea said. “It has its roots in ancient Egypt. So, no, I doubt that Cinderella was based upon King Lear.”

  Matthew started to laugh at that. “How do you know so much, Ginger?”

  “You know I’m working on my PhD in ancient literature,” she said. “Now don’t give me such a hard time.”

  “You know I love giving you a hard time,” he said to Andrea. “And I would love to give Cordelia here a hard time as well. Maybe both of you at the same time.”

  “No,” I said. “I’m not Cordelia. I’m Cinderella. My mother and sister hate me. And I’m in love with a handsome prince named Asher.”

  “Okay,” Andrea said. “You just keep hallucinating there, dear.” Her voice was loud in my ears. It almost sounded distorted. “If you’re talking about Asher Sloane, then you are hallucinating for sure. Any woman who is going to be with a guy like that has to be top of the line.”

  “No,” I said. “Was Cinderella top of the line? That’s me. I’m Cinderella.”

  Andrea was laughing again, and, again, it sounded like the entire bar was laughing along with her. I felt myself start to cry.

  And then I saw Nathaniel. He was plainer than day. I got up off the lap of Matthew and went over to him. “Nathaniel?” I said to him.

  “CJ,” he said, his baby voice and laughter ringing through ears. Suddenly, the bar wasn’t there anymore. It was just Nathaniel and me, and we were standing in the middle of a field of flowers. “I miss you CJ.”

  “I miss you too,” I said, feeling the tears flowing. “Where are you?”

  “I’m in a place where nobody tells me I can’t have cookies whenever I want them. It’s fun here, CJ. There’s lots of other kids here.”

  “Nathaniel, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I miss you so much.”

  “I know, CJ. I know that you never meant to hurt me. I love you, CJ. I love you, and I’ll be waiting for you.”

  “You will? You don’t hate me for what I did?”

  “We don’t hate here. We only love.” At that, he put his little chubby arms around my neck. “Don’t worry, CJ. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. And you’ll be fine, too, CJ. Mommy and Stella will talk to you soon. I’m trying to make them talk to you, CJ. They’re just too sad to talk to you right now. But they will.”

  “They will?”

  “Yes.” Then he turned around. “I have to go, CJ. I’ll see you again one day, but not for a long time.” Then he blew a kiss to me and faded away.

  “Wait,” I said. “You can�
�t go. Please, come back, Nathaniel. Please.”

  But he wasn’t there anymore. The bar came back into focus, and I realized that I was sitting in a chair. The reindeers were gone, but everything was spinning and the lights were looking like a color wheel. A color wheel like in those 1970s Christmas trees. The bar reminded me of when I was a little girl and my mother bought one of those things that made lights and color spin on the top of my ceiling. I loved that thing. I felt suddenly comforted, as if I was a small child again, and nothing bad had ever happened.

  I reached out to try to touch the colors, and I could actually smell them. The blue smelled like mint, the red smelled like licorice. The green smelled like apple. The purple smelled like raspberry. The yellow smelled like lemon. The orange smelled like an Orange Julius. All of the scents were very pleasant to my nose, of course.

  I was vaguely aware that I was being led over to the older man that I started with. “Venus, you remember William, don’t you?”

  “No,” I said. All at once, he got bigger and bigger, like he was made of helium. He literally looked like a blimp to me. “No. I can’t do that.”

  I couldn’t exactly remember what it was that I didn’t want to do. I only knew that this man wasn’t anything that I wanted to be associated with.

  As if to confirm this, he grew horns and sharp teeth, right before my eyes. He opened his mouth, and it was like a gaping maw. I looked into the maw, and saw fire and people screaming. I shivered. “No.”

  Then, the next thing I knew, I was being ushered into another room. By Robert. He was dragging me back to a room. “Are you turning a VIP down?” he shouted at me. “Are you, Venus?”

  “No,” I said. Suddenly, that was the only word that I could remember. “No.”