ANGELS, singing Handel: Hallelujah, hallelujah . . .
A full-blown orchestra and mighty chorus erupt from the air in accompaniment.
GOD, motioning them out: Excuse me! A little later, perhaps. I’d like a few words with Lucifer.
CHEMUEL, kissing God’s hand, as they leave: Congratulations, Lord.
RAPHAEL: We’ll bring the full chorus tonight!
Alone, God looks down at the earth, as Lucifer enters.
GOD: All right, go ahead, say it.
LUCIFER: Nothing for me to say, Lord. He points below. You see it as well as I.
GOD, looking down, shaking His head: What did I do wrong?
LUCIFER: Why look at it that way? They’re beautiful, they help each other, they praise You every few minutes—
GOD: Lucifer, they don’t multiply.
LUCIFER: Maybe give them a few more years. . . .
GOD: But there’s no sign of anything. Look at them—the middle of a perfect, moonlit night, and they’re playing handball.
LUCIFER: Well, You wanted them innocent.
GOD: Every once in a while, though, he does seem to get aroused.
LUCIFER: Aroused, yes, but what’s the good if he doesn’t get it in the right place? And when he does, she walks off to pick a flower or something.
GOD: I can’t figure that out. Pause. They stare down.
LUCIFER: Of course, You could always— He breaks off.
GOD: What?
LUCIFER: Look, I don’t want to mix in, and then You’ll say I’m criticizing everything—
GOD: I don’t know why I stand for your superciliousness.
LUCIFER: At least I don’t bore You like the rest of these spirits.
GOD: Sometimes I’d just as soon you did. What have you got in mind?
LUCIFER: Now, remember, You asked me.
GOD: What have you got in mind!
LUCIFER: You see? You’re mad already.
GOD, roaring furiously: I am not mad!
LUCIFER: All right, all right. You could take her back and restring her insides. Reroute everything, so wherever he goes in it connects to the egg.
GOD: No-no-no, I don’t want to fool with that. She’s perfect now; I’m not tearing her apart again. Out of the question.
LUCIFER: Well, then. You’ve only got one other choice. You’ve got to thin out the innocence down there. God turns to him suspiciously. See? You’re giving me that look again; whatever I say, You turn it into some kind of a plot. Like when You made that fish with the fur on. Throw him in the ocean, and all the angels run around screaming hosannahs. I come and tell You the thing’s drowned, and You’re insulted.
GOD: Yes. But I—I’ve stopped making fish with fur any more.
LUCIFER: But before I can penetrate with a fact I’ve got to go through hell.
GOD—He suddenly points down: He’s putting his arm around her. Lucifer looks down. Lucifer! They both stretch over the edge to see better. Lucifer!! Suddenly, His expression changes to incredulity, then anger, and He throws up His hands in futile protest. Where in the world does he get those stupid ideas!
LUCIFER, still looking down: Now he’s going to sleep.
GOD: Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. He sits disconsolately.
LUCIFER: Lord, the problem down there is that You’ve made it all so perfect. Everything they look at is not only good, it’s equally good. The sun is good, rats are good, fleas are good, the moon, lions, athlete’s foot—every single thing is just as good as every other thing. Because, naturally, You created everything, so everything’s as attractive as everything else.
GOD: What’s so terrible about perfection? Except that you can’t stand it?
LUCIFER: Well, simply—if You want him to go into her, into the right place, and stay there long enough, You’ll have to make that part better.
GOD: I am not remaking that woman.
LUCIFER: It’s not necesary. All I’m saying is that sex has to be made not just good, but—well, terrific. Right now he’d just as soon pick his nose. In other words, You’ve got to rivet his attention on that one place.
GOD: How would I do that?
LUCIFER: Well, let’s look at it. What is the one thing that makes him stop whatever he’s doing and pay strict attention?
GOD: What?
LUCIFER: You, Lord. Soon as you appear, he, so to speak, comes erect. Give sex that same sort of holiness in his mind, the same sort of hope that is never discouraged and never really fulfilled, the same fear of being unacceptable. Make him feel toward sex as he feels toward You, and You’re in—unbeschreiblich! Between such high promise and deadly terror, he won’t be able to think of anything else.
Pause.
GOD: How?
LUCIFER: Well . . . He hesitates a long moment, until God slowly turns to him with a suspicious look. All right, look—there’s no way around it, I simply have to talk about those apples.
GOD, stamps His foot and stands, strides up and down, trying to control his temper: Lucifer!
LUCIFER: I refuse to believe that man’s only way to demonstrate his love for God is to refuse to eat some fruit! That kind of game is simply unworthy of my father!
GOD, angered: Really now!
LUCIFER: Forgive me, sir, but I am useless to You if I don’t speak my mind. May I tell You why I think You planted that tree in the garden? God is silent, but consenting, even if unwillingly. Objectively speaking, it is senseless. You wanted Adam’s praise for everything You made, absolutely innocent of any doubt about Your goodness. Why, then, plant a fruit which can only make him wise, sophisticated, and analytical? May I continue? God half-willingly nods. He certainly will begin to question everything if he eats an apple, but why is that necessarily bad? God looks surprised, angering. He’ll not only marvel that the flower blooms, he will ask why and discover chlorophyll—and bless You for chlorophyll. He’ll not only praise You that food makes him strong, he will discover his bile duct and praise You for his pancreas. He may lose his innocence, but the more he learns of Your secrets, the more reasons he will have to praise You. And that is why, quite without consciously knowing it, You planted that tree there. It was your fantastic inner urge to magnify Your glory to the last degree. In six words, Lord, You wanted full credit for everything.
GOD: He must never eat those apples.
LUCIFER: Then why have You tempted him? What is the point?
GOD: I wanted him to wake each morning, look at that tree, and say, “For God’s sake I won’t eat these apples.” Not even one.
LUCIFER: Fine. But with that same absence of curiosity he is not investigating Eve.
GOD: But the other animals manage.
LUCIFER: Their females go into heat, and the balloon goes up. But Eve is ready almost any time, and that means no time. It’s part of that whole dreadful uniformity down there.
GOD: They are my children; I don’t want them to know evil.
LUCIFER: Why call it evil? One apple, and he’ll know the difference between good and better. And once he knows that, he’ll be all over her. He looks down. Look, he’s kissing a tree. You see? The damned fool has no means of discriminating.
GOD, looking down: Well, he should kiss trees too.
LUCIFER: Fine. If that’s the way You feel, You’ve got Adam and Eve, and it’ll be a thousand years before you’re a grandfather. He stands. Think it over. I’d be glad to go down and—God gives him a look. I’m only trying to help!
GOD: Lucifer, I’m way ahead of you.
LUCIFER: Lord, that’s inevitable.
GOD: Stay away from that tree.
LUCIFER, with a certain evasiveness: Whatever You say, sir. May I go now?
GOD, after a pause: Don’t have the illusion that I am in conflict about this; I mean, don’t decide to go down there and do Me a favor, or something. I know perfect
ly well why I put that tree there.
LUCIFER, surprised: Really!
GOD: Yes, really. I am in perfect control over my unconscious, friend. It was not to tempt Adam; it’s I who was tempted. I finished him and I saw he was beautiful, and for a moment I loved him beyond anything I had ever made—and I thought, maybe I should let him see through the rose petal to its chemistry, the formation of amino acids to the secrets of life. His simple praise for surfaces made me impatient to show him the physics of My art, which would raise him to a god.
LUCIFER: Why’d You change Your mind?
GOD: Because I thought of what became of you. The one angel who really understands biology and physics, the one I loved before all the rest and took such care to teach—and you can’t take a breath without thinking how to overthrow Me and take over the universe!
LUCIFER: Lord, I only wanted them to know more, the more to praise You!
GOD: The more they know, the less they will need Me, Lucifer; you know that as well as I! And that’s all you’re after, to grind away their respect for Me. “Give them an apple!” If it weren’t for the Law of the Conservation of Energy I would destroy you! Don’t go near that tree or those dear people—not in any form, you hear? They are innocent, and innocent they will remain till I turn out the lights forever!
God goes out. Lucifer is alone.
LUCIFER: Now what is He really saying? He put it there to tempt Himself! Therefore He’s not of one mind about innocence; and how could He be when innocence blinds Adam to half the wonders He has made? I will help the Lord. Yes, that’s the only way to put it; I’m His helper. I open up the marvels He dares not show, and thereby magnify His glory. In short, I disobey what He says and carry out what He means, and if that’s evil, it’s only to do good. Strange—I never felt so close to my creator as I do right now! Once Adam eats, he’ll multiply, and Lucifer completes the lovely world of God! Oh, praise the Lord who gave me all this insight! My fight with Him is over! Now evil be my good, and Eve and Adam multiply in blessed sin! Make way, dumb stars, the world of man begins!
He exits as light rises on Paradise, where Eve is bent over from the waist, examining a—to us invisible—turtle. Adam enters. His attention is caught by her raised buttocks, and he approaches, halts, and stares—then looks off, puzzled by the idea that he can’t quite form in his mind. Giving it up, he asks . . .
ADAM: You want to play volleyball?
Lucifer enters.
LUCIFER: Good evening.
ADAM: Good evening. He nervously nudges Eve, who now stands up. Something in Lucifer moves something in her.
EVE: Oh!
Lucifer exchanges a deep glance with her, then moves, glancing about and then turns back to Adam.
LUCIFER: Had enough?
EVE: Enough of what?
LUCIFER: You don’t imagine, do you, that God intended you to lie around like this forever?
ADAM: We’re going swimming later.
LUCIFER: Swimming! What about making something of yourselves?
ADAM: Making some . . . ?
LUCIFER, with a quick glance about for God: I’m a little short of time, Adam. By the way, my name is Lucifer. The archangel?
ADAM, impressed: Ohhh! I’m very pleased to meet you. This is my wife, Eve.
EVE: How do you do?
LUCIFER, taking her hand with a little pressure: Awfully nice to meet you, Eve. Tell me, you ever hold your breath?
ADAM: Oh sure, she does that a lot. Show him, Eve. She inhales and holds it. She can do that till she turns blue. Eve lets out the air.
EVE: I can really turn blue if I want to.
LUCIFER: And why does that happen?
ADAM: Because God makes it.
LUCIFER: But how, dear?
ADAM: How should she know?
LUCIFER: But God wants her to know.
ADAM: But why didn’t He tell us?
LUCIFER: He’s trying to tell you; that’s why I’ve come; I am the Explainer. Adam, the fact is that God gives His most important commands through His silences. For example, there is nothing He feels more passionate about than that you begin to multiply.
EVE: Really?
LUCIFER: Of course. That’s why that tree is there.
EVE: We multiply with the tree?
LUCIFER: No, but if you eat the fruit you’ll know how. He just can’t bring Himself to say it, you see.
EVE: Is that so!
ADAM: Now, wait a minute, excuse me. We’re not even supposed to think about that tree.
EVE: Say, that’s right. In fact, lately, that’s practically all I do is go around not thinking about it.
LUCIFER: Oh, you find that’s getting difficult?
EVE: No, but it takes up so much time.
ADAM: It’s because we’ll die if we eat those things. Lucifer reaches up, takes an apple. You better watch out, they’re not good for you—Don’t! Lucifer bites into the apple, chews. They watch him, wide-eyed. Oh, I know why, it’s that you’re an angel!
LUCIFER: You could be too.
ADAM, worried: Angels?
LUCIFER: Absolutely. Now listen carefully, because this is fairly deep and I may have to leave any minute. You know by now why the Lord put you in this lovely garden.
ADAM: To praise everything.
LUCIFER: Right. Now what if I told you that there are a number of things you’ve been leaving out?
ADAM, shocked: Oh, no! I praise absolutely everything.
LUCIFER, pointing to his penis: And what about this thing here? Do you praise Him for that?
ADAM, looking down at himself: Well, not in particular, but I include it in.
LUCIFER: But how can you when you don’t know what it’s for?
EVE: He pees that way.
LUCIFER: Pees! That is so incidental it’s not even worth mentioning. To Adam: You have no idea, do you?
ADAM: Well . . . ahh . . .
LUCIFER: Yes?
ADAM: I’m only guessing, but sometimes it makes me feel—
LUCIFER: Feel what?
ADAM: Well . . . kind of sporty?
LUCIFER: Adam! God has made you in His image, given you His body. How dare you refuse to understand the very best part of it? Now you will eat this apple.
ADAM: Angel, please—I really don’t feel I should.
LUCIFER, holding the apple to Adam’s tightly shut lips: You must! Could I make this offer without God’s permission?
EVE: Say, that’s right!
LUCIFER: Of course it’s right! I mean nothing happens He doesn’t want to happen—n’est-ce pas? Now, you take one bite, and I promise you will understand everything. Adam, open your mouth and you will become—he glances quickly about, lowers his voice—like God.
ADAM: Like God! You should never say a thing like that!
LUCIFER: You’re not even living like animals!
ADAM: I don’t want to hear any more! He said it in plain Hebrew, don’t eat those apples, and that’s it! I’m going swimming. Eve?
EVE, extending her hand to Lucifer: Very nice to have met you.
LUCIFER, slowly running his eyes from her feet to her face: Likewise.
A strange sensation emanates from his eyes, and she slowly looks down at her body.
ADAM: Eve?
She unwillingly breaks from Lucifer, and they leave. Lucifer looks at the apple in his hand and takes a big bite. He stands there chewing thoughtfully. Offstage a splash is heard. A pause. Eve returns, glancing behind her, and hurries to Lucifer.
EVE: There’s only one thing I wonder if you could tell me.
LUCIFER: I love questions, my dear. What is it?
EVE—she looks down at herself, pointing: Why has he got that thing and I don’t?
LUCIFER: Isn’t it funny? I knew you were going to ask that question.
/> EVE: Well, I mean, is it going to grow on later?
LUCIFER: Never.
EVE: Why?
LUCIFER, offering her his apple: Take a bite, Eve, and everything will clear up.
EVE—she accepts the apple, looks at it: It smells all right.
LUCIFER: Of course. It is all right.
EVE: Maybe just a little bite.
LUCIFER: Better make it medium. You have an awful lot to learn, dear.
EVE: Well . . . here goes! She bites and chews, her eyes widening, her body moving sinuously. A dread sound fills the air. She approaches him.
LUCIFER, retreating: ’Fraid I’ve got to leave, dear.
EVE: You going now?
LUCIFER: Oh, yes, right now! But I’ll be around.
He hurries off, glancing behind with trepidation. She stands there staring. She feels her body, her breasts, her face, awakening to herself. She starts her hand down to her genitals and inhales a surprised breath. Adam enters. The sound goes silent.
ADAM: Where were you? Come on, the water’s perfect! . . . Eve? She turns to him. What’s the matter? She sensuously touches his arm and puts it around her. What are you doing? She smashes her lips against his. What is this? She holds her apple before his face.
EVE: Eat it.
ADAM: Eve!
EVE: It’s marvelous! Please, a bite, a bite!
ADAM: But God said—
EVE: I’m God.
ADAM: You’re what?
EVE: He is in me! He’ll be in you! I never felt like this! I am the best thing that ever happened! Look at me! Adam, don’t you see me?
ADAM: Well, sure, I—
EVE: You’re not looking at me!
ADAM: Of course I’m looking at you!
EVE: But you’re not seeing me! You don’t see anything!
ADAM: Why? I see the trees, the sky—
EVE: You wouldn’t see anything else if you were seeing me.
ADAM: How’s that possible?
EVE: Say “Ahh.”
ADAM: Ahh.
She suddenly pushes the apple into his mouth.
EVE: Chew! Swallow!
He chews. The dread sound again. She watches. He looks down at his penis. Then to her. Then up at her face, astonished. He starts to reach for her.
The Penguin Arthur Miller Page 81