Brightest Kind of Darkness

by P. T. Michelle

Grabbing up the needle, Gran turned to dip it in the alcohol we’d poured into the lid, but the needle dropped in the lid instead. She tried to fish it out, but the needle spun around like a confused compass. “Come here, you little pissant,” she mumbled, digging her fingers into the alcohol.

  My gaze jerked to Lainey, pleading, Help me, please.

  She lifted her hands helplessly and mouthed, “What can I do?”

  “Got it!” Gran bent toward me, her gnarled fingers clasping the needle at a strange angle. When her hand began to shake as she drew near and the needle between her fingers shifted even more, I panicked and blurted, “I just remembered where we have some rum.”

  Gran immediately straightened, a marionette yanked upright by rum’s sweet lure. The needle slipped from her fingers. “Where?” she asked with bright eyes.

  I watched the needle roll down the sink and right into the drain with an inward sigh of relief. “It’s in the pantry, behind the big jug of vinegar.”

  Gran was already heading out of the bathroom, calling behind her, “Why would Elizabeth keep it there?”

  “Rum cake,” I automatically answered (well, Mom tried at least).

  Lainey’s hand was over her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, she snickered in a low tone, “You just contributed to the delinquency of a…major.” Then let out another peal of muffled laughter.

  “I didn’t want to end up with a nose piercing,” I said in a low voice. “There’s less than three shots left. She can’t get drunk from that.”

  Sobering, Lainey rubbed her eyes to smooth her smudged eyeliner. “What’s her fixation with rum, anyway?”

  “The retirement home doesn’t allow alcohol.” Glancing at Lainey’s purse, I asked, “Do you have another needle?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then sterilize it and let’s get my other ear done before she comes back.”

  Several minutes later, while Lainey was putting the second earring in my ear, I asked, “Why’d you decide to come over?”

  Lainey looked at me, then twisted the earring in its new hole. Stepping back to admire her work, she said, “It was my way of saying, ‘I’m sorry I gave you a hard time about Jared’. We’d been having some random arguments, and I was feeling insecure when you called that day. As for the paint ball thing…” she paused and grimaced.

  “I know you didn’t agree with it,” I said quietly.

  Her brown gaze met mine, full of sincerity. “I didn’t know they were going to do that. Guys prank each other all the time, but to prank a girl? I was pissed at Jared and told him to apologize to you.”

  Yeah, I remembered his half-hearted apology. “No harm done.” I smiled to let her know we really were good. Touching my new earrings, I met her gaze in the mirror. “Thanks. I can’t say the experience was totally stress free,” I paused and jerked my head toward the kitchen, “but it’ll be nice to wear small hoops when I want.”

  “Now you can wear pretty earrings when you dress up, like you did the other day.” She bumped shoulders with me and smiled. “Though, I think that Ethan guy likes you just the way you are.”

  Her comment brought all my worries about Ethan back to the front of my mind. I’d been able to keep them at bay with Gran and Lainey as distractions. Before I could tell her Ethan and I weren’t spending time together anymore, Lainey tugged on my arm.

  “Let’s go show your Gran your new studs and see if she’s smashed yet.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I’m a cheap date,” Gran giggled in my ear, then hiccupped.

  Now she tells me. The scent of alcohol mixed with peppermint toothpaste tickled my nose while I helped her into our guest bedroom bed. “You just need to get some sleep, Gran. You’ll feel better in the morning. I wasn’t sure which would be worse: for Mom to think I drank the alcohol or for her to discover her aunt had gone to bed at eight because she had. My optimistic side hoped Mom wouldn’t notice the rum was gone. After three failed attempts, I didn’t think she’d try to make rum cake again.

  Gran rolled to face me as I pulled the covers over her. “Come see me tomorrow at four-forty.”

  My gaze narrowed suspiciously. “Why exactly at four-forty?”

  “So you can help me with bingo. If I end up with a winning card tomorrow, you can tell me two seconds before the last bingo number is called. That way, I can stamp and call bingo at the same time.”

  “Gran,” I sighed.

  She grasped my hand, her face flushed with frustration. “It’s the only way I can beat Clara.”

  “That’s what all this is about? Not winning the bingo prize, but beating Clara?”

  “She only beats me by mere seconds, but she always rubs it in my face. It’s so humiliating, this growing older and slower.”

  My heart ached for Gran. I touched her fluffy hair, then cupped her cheek. “I won’t help you cheat, Gran, but I think I have an idea how I can help you.”

  Relief flitted across her lined face. “Thanks, Inara.” Her eyes glistened with tears and she brushed them away. “Margaret always said alcohol made me weepy.”

  Her fingers tightened on my hand. “You’re a lot like my little sister, Inara. I wish you could’ve known your grandmother.”

  Me too. Gran rarely brought up her sister…as if she missed her too much to talk about her. Guess Mom and Gran were more alike than they realized. “What was my grandmother like?”

  “Pretty with strawberry blond hair. She was tall like you, but her eyes were blue.” Gran sighed and rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. “Margaret had a big heart, but she also trusted her instincts. She could pick a bad apple off the vine in two seconds flat.”

  I smiled at the imagery of a cluster of apples growing on a vine.

  Gran’s green eyes shifted back to me, looking sleepy. “When she felt strongly about something or someone, Margaret never folded on her convictions. You’re like that too.”

  “Thanks, Gran. Get some sleep and I’ll take you back to Westminster in the morning.”

  Later that night, as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, all I could think about was Ethan. How much I missed his tender touch. Hot tears streaked down my temples into my hair. It reminded me of the time he’d wiped my tears away, comforting me while his concerned gaze searched my face.

  Was I wrong about him? Had I messed up everything?

  I clenched my fists, hating all the doubts I had. Whenever I tried to recall a sweet memory between us, another event I couldn’t explain would pop into my mind, obliterating it. I hated that most of all.

  Then something Gran said about her sister rolled through my mind: When she felt strongly about something or someone, she never folded on her convictions. You’re like that, too. I did feel strongly about Ethan, and I really wanted to believe my first instincts about him had been right. But how?

  I wracked my brain for a while, then sat up in bed when an idea came to me. Every time I’d received a warning not to interfere—the cold heaviness, the radio message, the foggy mirror and jammed bathroom door, even the message across the phone line at home—Ethan hadn’t been present.

  I wouldn’t get my dreams back for a couple of days, but if he were with me the next time I used my powers to help someone, and he didn’t try to intervene, then I’d believe him.

  I sat in my silent car absently sorting my shades in order of frame color as I watched a construction crew using bright orange plastic fencing to cordon off an area to the right of the school’s main parking lot. For once, I’d gotten to school early after I’d dropped Gran and her bucket of wormy dirt off, then ran a quick errand.

  I’d stopped by a flower shop (a different one) and ordered a dozen red roses (with cash this time). I’d given specific instructions for them to be delivered to: Cordelia Grant in Westminster’s recreation room at 4:40 pm. I’d signed the card: From your secret admirer, all the while thinking, I hope Clara chokes with curious jealousy. I knew Gran would soak it up for all its worth.

&
nbsp; As students began to move toward the school’s entrance, I wished sending anonymous secret admirer flowers could also fix my problem. Jamming on my darkest pair of shades, I glanced at my car’s clock. The last bell should’ve rung by now. Normally I’d be scrambling to get to class on time, but the idea of spending another whole day avoiding Ethan made my heart ache. I wanted to believe him.

  If I stayed away from him for two more days, I should get my dreams back. Then I could prove he wasn’t responsible for trying to stop me, though I didn’t want to think about the alternative behind the weird stuff I’d been going through either.

  Normally I would’ve called Aunt Sage for advice. She’d always been a great sounding board in the past, but I wouldn’t betray Ethan’s confidence, even if I thought my aunt would understand. Knowing her, she’d probably agree with his “don’t interfere” philosophy. Plus, she had given my dad my cell number, so I was reluctant to discuss anything with her right now. God, I hope she hadn’t told him about my dreams.

  Turning to the four text books I’d stacked in the passenger seat yesterday, I arranged them in order of which class was coming first, then slid the stack into my backpack. Like yesterday, I planned to avoid my locker and go straight to Homeroom. I glanced at the clock once more, then removed my keys from the ignition with a sigh.

  A movement outside my window caught my eye. Ethan leaned against his passenger door. His hands were shoved deep into his jean pockets, black boots crossed at the ankles, his eyes locked on me. The brisk fall wind lifted the collar of his army jacket—amazingly paint-free—and ruffled his black hair. The impassive expression on his face gave nothing away.

  My hand shook as I gripped the handle and pushed my door open. Just two more days. Two. More. Days. As I shut my door, I panicked, unsure what to say. Ethan’s heavy stare weighed on me, but I couldn’t look at him, so I focused on the school building straight ahead.

  I’d only taken a couple steps toward the school when his voice brought me to a halt. “Not even a ‘hello’, Sunshine?”

  His sweet nickname made my throat clog. Screw the two days. Gravel crunched under my shoe as I pivoted and dropped my backpack, stalking toward him. “All right. Here’s the deal. Give me something and then we’ll talk.”

  Ethan blinked. “What?”

  I waved my hand impatiently. “Tell me something interesting about today. Not about me, but about someone else.”

  “Why?”

  I could tell by his frown of disapproval “something” happened in my dream. “Because no matter what it is you’re not going to stop me. That’s why.”

  Ethan stepped close and pulled off my glasses. He searched my face, looking for answers. “Why did you look so scared the other day? I’d never hurt you, Nara.”

  The crisp air circled around us, stirring dried leaves, gravel dust and the scent of fall fires. I closed my eyes for a second and clung to his promise. Sighing, I admitted part of the truth. “My dreams have been with me for a very long time. It’s hard to let go.”

  “You know I’d never let anything happen to you.”

  He’d spoken with such intensity I desperately wanted to believe every word. I swallowed and tried not to let him see the turmoil I felt.

  “I hope you believe me, and you’ll listen to why I think I have your dreams.”

  His comment surprised me. “You said you saw my dreams before you touched me.”

  “But I didn’t take your dreams until I touched you.”

  I’d forgotten that part. “Why did you take my dreams?” I asked with a heavy heart. Would he admit that he’d taken them on purpose?

  He set my sunglasses in my hand, then folded my fingers around them. The brief brush of his skin against mine made me ache.

  “It’s the nature of my power, not a conscious thing, Nara. Maybe your dreams are your inner demon and that’s why they came to me. You definitely have this need to get involved. Even now you’re demanding to know something from last night’s dream.”

  Not for the reason you think. Was he trying to make me feel wrong for using my ability to help others? My defensive hackles rose. “What about your powers? You see people’s worst nightmares, their negative thoughts or their inner demons, as you put it. When you know someone’s thinking about suicide, how can you not act?”

  He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “Most of the time I can’t tell who has the issue. You’ve seen my drawings. Do any of those creatures look like someone you’ve seen walking around at school?”

  “I’ve seen you rescue a dog, Ethan.”

  Glancing away, he knew he’d been caught. “I haven’t always stayed out of things.”

  The pained look in his eyes made me feel bad for making him recall the past. I started to speak, but he cut me off.

  “She’d been raped and the guy who’d done it knew she was afraid to tell. Every day at school he tortured her; his snide remarks turned into groping hands. People thought she was easy, but I saw the marks on her wrists, new wounds near old ones. She’d started cutting.” His voice hardened. “I decided to take care of the guy myself.”

  “Was he the one you beat up at your last school?”

  Ethan looked surprised I’d guessed. “Yeah, that was the guy.”

  “See, you acted when you knew it was the right thing to do.”

  “I’ll always watch out for you, Nara, but messing with others’ lives like you do…it’s dangerous. Let life around you happen as it was meant to. You and I, we might be different, but we should at least try to act like normal people.”

  He sounded so sincere, my heart wanted to believe him, even as my mind rebelled. “Will you do this one thing for me?”

  Ethan’s mouth set in a grim line, and just when I thought he’d say no, he said, “Sophia goes after Lainey during practice today, but instead of succeeding, she gets Lainey’s elbow and a broken nose.”

  In order to prove Ethan’s innocence, I was going to have to save Sophia? My mind screamed in rebellion, but it was the only way. “Can you be there when I talk to Sophia after school?”

  “That’s life, Nara.”

  I ignored the disapproval in his tone. I just wanted him there. “By the lockers.”

  “If you want.” He put a hand on my shoulder, his face determined. “We will talk after.”

  “Uh, yeah, we should probably get to class now.”

  “You go first. I’ll walk in a few minutes behind you.”

  Gathering my backpack, I raised an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you coming?”

  “It’s probably best if we don’t walk in late together, seeing how I’m such a bad influence and all,” he said, hooking devil-horn fingers above his head.

  “Fine. Keep your tarnished image,” I snapped, irritated rather than amused by those devil horns. My stomach was in knots. I really, really wanted my first instincts about him to be right.

  After the final bell rang, I leaned against my locker and tracked Sophia as she flitted from one football player to the next, flirting her way toward her locker. When Jared and Lainey walked past holding hands, Sophia’s entire attitude shifted. Her high laughter subsided and her wide eyes narrowed to jealous slits. Turning to her locker, she spun her combination with quick, jerky movements.

  I ground my teeth, wishing there was another way to prove myself wrong.

  “I’m here,” Ethan’s low voice sounded behind me.

  Exhaling a tense breath, I dragged my tennis shoe’s rubber sole down my pants leg to loosen the jean material—which currently clung to my socks as if magnetized. So annoying! After I did the same to the other leg, I squared my shoulders and nodded for him to follow me down the hall.

  As I walked, static rode up my pants and hoodie, then filtered into my hair. Loose pieces of hair began to float around my head like gnats. I patted the strands down and casually leaned against the locker next to Sophia’s. “Hey, Sophia.”

  Sophia glanced at Ethan standing behind me as she tugged her backpack onto her shoulder. S
hutting her locker, she looked at me, her curly blonde hair bouncing with her movements. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing much. I just—” A frigid chill jolted through me at the same time something pushed against me, pinning my shoulder to the locker. Glancing angrily over my other shoulder at Ethan, I rasped, “Stop it, right now!”

  “Stop what?” Confusion creased his brow. “Are you okay?” When he reached for my arm, electricity arced and he immediately jerked his hand back. “What the—”

  “Can you two fight on your own time?” Sophia interrupted. “What do you want, Nara?”

  Sophia’s annoyed tone set me on edge. “I’m here about Lainey.” As soon as I spoke forcefully, the pressure disappeared and I was able to breathe and move again. Pushing myself off the locker, I continued, “Going after her during practice is a bad idea.”

  Sophia’s uneasy gaze pinged from me to Ethan. “What’re you talking about?”

  I snorted. “I saw you just now. You’re so jealous of Lainey and Jared, your eyes are crossing.”

  She stared at me for a brief second, then flipped her hair over her shoulder. “You’re the one who’s jealous, but thanks for the heads up. I’ll be sure to let Lainey know you plan to take her out on the field.”

  I wasn’t usually a violent person, but it took all my willpower to keep my fist by my side and not yank a handful of her blonde curls. “Things will not go well for you if you try to hurt Lainey, Sophia.”

  “Are you threatening me?” She took a step back, glaring.

  I shrugged. “Take it however you want.”

  “Stay away from me,” Sophia said, then stomped off.

  “That was just weird,” Ethan commented quietly.

  I turned to see him staring at his hand as he rubbed his fingers together. Even though I felt bad he’d gotten shocked, I was also giddy with relief. Ethan wasn’t behind what had been happening. He’d seemed worried and concerned, but he hadn’t tried to stop me. “Sorry about that,” I said, grabbing his hand and rubbing the tips of his fingers with my palm. “I’ve been having major static issues lately.” Cheap dryer sheets.