Brightest Kind of Darkness

by P. T. Michelle

  “Uh, but—”

  I gave her a “you’d better” look.

  “Fine.” Lainey released a heavy sigh. She knew I was right. Sophia was a horrible goalkeeper.

  Waving to my family and Ethan, I pulled my ponytail tighter, then jumped off the bench, tugging Lainey to her feet. “Let’s shut out Albemarle.”

  When the game was over, Lainey ran toward me full-throttle, tackling without warning. Landing hard on the ground, we rolled inside the goal, and she sat up, pumping her fist in the air, screaming, “Goal!”

  I wheezed. “You’re a nut. That doesn’t count.”

  She punched my arm, then put her sweat-streaked face near mine. “I can’t freakin’ believe you did it. You didn’t let the toughest team score. Not once.”

  “Don’t forget our deal.”

  Her enthusiasm dipped a little. “Oh, yeah. I guess I’ll have to talk to Coach.” Eyes lighting with hope, she asked, “But you’re still gonna come to Jared’s party, right?”

  I was surprised she was so insistent. I had no idea how Ethan would feel about going to a party. “I’ll try.”

  Grinning, she scrambled to her feet. “Great. Then you can introduce Ethan around.”

  I squinted at her. “Why are you suddenly pro-Ethan?”

  Lainey waved to my mom, Aunt Sage and Ethan as they walked toward the field. Looking at me, she shrugged. “There might be rumors about him, but he seems to be into you.” Pulling me to my feet, she added, “Plus, I miss hanging with my friend.”

  “Lainey,” Jared called from the metal bleachers. “Great win, baby!” he continued in a stadium-loud yell, pumping his fist in the air before turning to wrestle with a couple of his football buddies.

  Lainey’s cheeks turned bright red. “He’s such a guy sometimes. See you on Monday,” she called out as she ran off toward the bleachers.

  Monday? Then I remembered. Friday was a teacher workday.

  “That was a great game.” Mom’s eyes were bright with pride.

  “Thanks. I’m glad you came.” Turning to Aunt Sage, I raised my eyebrows. “And it’s great to see you here. I’m shocked, but thrilled.”

  Aunt Sage grinned and spread her arms wide, her bangles making a pleasant tinkling sound. “It’s true that I don’t like watching sports, but well, after receiving your text, I just had to come see my favorite niece.” Pulling me into a tight hug, she whispered, “Have your dreams returned?”

  “No dreams, but I’m good,” I responded in a whisper—which was true since Ethan had my back against Fate—then I quickly tugged away, saying in a normal voice, “Your clothes. I’m all sweaty.”

  Aunt Sage laughed. “But that’s hard-earned sweat and I thoroughly enjoyed watching you play, sweetie.”

  “You were on fire.” Ethan’s gaze locked with mine. I saw the question in his eyes. How’d you pull off a total shutout?

  “I was determined to make my own luck,” I told him. After tonight’s game, I felt invincible. Like I’d just shown Fate I wasn’t scared and at the same time had squashed the fear that had gripped me earlier today.

  Mom and Aunt Sage laughed, and it felt good to see them smiling at each other. They never did anything together socially. I was the only reason they interacted at all. They were two very different people, but I was pretty sure that before my dad left they used to get along. At least I knew Aunt Sage had attended events with my parents and me in the past. In old family photos, we were all at a fair, at the zoo, at the park, at the pool, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday parties. She was always there. Now, I celebrated birthdays and holidays with my aunt separately.

  “Do you want me to wait around until you’re all packed up?” Mom asked.

  Her question threw me off. She was being very attentive. Way more than usual. “Thanks, but I’m good. See you at home.”

  “I’ll walk Nara to her car, Mrs. Collins,” Ethan said.

  “Elizabeth, if you want, I’ll drop you off at your car. I saw it parked in front of the school,” Aunt Sage said to Mom. Before they turned toward the parking lot, my aunt smiled at us. “It was nice to see you, Ethan. I’ll call you this weekend, Inara.”

  Once my family was out of earshot, I said, “Seeing them both here felt like I’d jumped into an alternate reality.”

  An incredulous look crossed Ethan’s face. “Fate trying to scare you to death doesn’t already feel like an alternate reality?”

  I tensed as a touch of anxiety started to bleed into my euphoric mood. “But see, that’s even more of a reason to celebrate tonight ending on a good note. Not to mention, Mom and Aunt Sage came to my game. That’s a good sign. Do you have any idea the odds against them coming at all, let alone at the same time?”

  Ethan’s brows pushed downward. “Your aunt said something about you texting her.”

  His comment jogged my memory. “I can’t believe I forgot. Before we went out to the parking lot after school, in case, well…things didn’t work out, I sent my mom and my aunt an ‘I love you’ text. Which explains Aunt Sage breaking her ‘no sports, ever’ rule for this game and my mom’s strange hovering.” Still, I smiled. Mom and Sage had laughed together, something I hadn’t seen in a long time.

  Ethan’s expression turned dark as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “My parents wouldn’t respond if I sent them a text message like that. They’d assume I was just saying that because I was in some kind of scrape and needed them to get me out of it.”

  “Don’t they know that you’ve gotten your act together?”

  His lips thinned. “Samson wanted to tell them, but I told him to forget it. They haven’t called or asked about me. Instead they just send ‘we’re thinking about you’ cards for Christmas and my birthday.”

  Ethan must feel completely abandoned. Tugging his hand out of his pocket, I clasped it, giving him my warmth. “You’ve never told me your birthday. When is it?”

  His fingers curled around mine, his eyes softening. “It was October 24th. And yours is coming in December, right?”

  He must’ve seen where my mom had circled the date on the calendar on the fridge. “Yep, you really are observant.” I was disappointed that he’d already had his birthday. I wanted an excuse to celebrate ‘him’. “There’s this nasty rumor floating around that seventeen is the magical age of responsibility.”

  “Yeah, I heard it, too. Something about becoming a responsible adult from one day to the next.”

  I studied him curiously. “Do you feel like a responsible adult now?”

  Glancing away, he murmured, “Sometimes I feel so over stuff, like an old geezer.” His gaze snapped back to me, wry amusement dancing in the blue depths. “As for being a responsible adult…” he shook his head and blew a purple bubble with a loud pop.

  As we walked to my car, Ethan grew quiet and thoughtful, as if he were wrestling with something. “My brother called last night. He’s coming back early and wants to use the long weekend to hike and camp in the mountains before it gets too cold. We’re leaving early tomorrow morning. Samson will have his cell. I promise if I see anything in my dreams, I’ll call you.”

  “Don’t worry about me, Ethan.”

  We stopped next to my car and I could feel the tension radiating off him. “I don’t want to leave you right now. Especially after what’s happened.”

  Even though I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see Ethan this weekend, I didn’t want him to spend his time in the mountains worrying about me. I smiled reassuringly. “I’ll just be hanging at home with my mom. I’ll be fine. You and your brother have a great time…and be careful.” A part of me still worried I wasn’t successful and Fate would go after Ethan and Lainey. “I’ll miss—”

  Ethan leaned close and kissed me. He made me feel so special, I didn’t care that I was all sweaty. When my breathing ramped and my heart felt like it might explode, he raked his teeth gently across my lower lip, leaving a tingling trail along the plump skin as he pulled back. “I’ll miss you, too.”

>   Tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear, his intense gaze tracked my face. “I lo—” He paused, then said, “You mean a lot to me, Nara.” Don’t go anywhere alone. Promise you’ll stay safe while I’m gone, okay?”

  The sweet flavor of Ethan’s bubble gum lingered on my tongue, and my lower lip still felt his warmth. I was pretty sure he’d almost told me that he loved me, and even though my heart had slammed against my chest at the thought, all I could do was nod mutely.

  My throat ached as he walked to his car. If he’d said, “I love you”, the words would’ve locked in my throat. I wouldn’t have been able to say it back. Sliding into my car, I choked back a sad laugh. I couldn’t even tell my own mother, aunt or Gran that I loved them either. I’d avoided Gran and texted Mom and Sage instead. You’re such a whack job, Nara.

  Whether he said it first or not, when Ethan got back, somehow I’d find a way to tell him how I felt about him.

  “Inara, come in, sweetie. What a wonderful surprise for my Sunday afternoon.” Aunt Sage opened her door wider and yanked me into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you came. I’ve been thinking about you.”

  I pulled back in surprise. “You have?”

  Aunt Sage lifted the necklace lying against her chest. “Look, I’m taking lessons from my niece.”

  She’d created a feather design around a long amethyst crystal. Hers was much better than mine, more intricate and with an artsy, whimsical flair. “You’re so talented,” I said. “Look at that detail. Your design should sell really well.”

  “I already have several orders. Can you believe it? I’m calling it the Inara Designs Collection.”

  I was stunned. “You named the new collection after me?”

  Pride filled her face. “Don’t look so surprised. You designed it. You deserve the credit.”

  Snorting, I pointed to the necklace. “I didn’t design that. You did.”

  “Ah, but you were the inspiration,” she said with a wink. “And that’s all that matters.”

  I shook my head, knowing I wasn’t going to talk her out of changing the name. When my aunt set her mind to something, it was pretty much a done deal. “Speaking of inspiration.” I nodded to the necklace. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here. I’ve done some research on the net, but could I look through your books for other symbolic meanings for the feather.”

  Her hazel eyes sparkled. “We must be on the same wavelength. While I was designing feather jewelry, you were digging into the symbolism. You’re more than welcome to use my books. I’d love to see what you come up with. I could use an ‘info’ card to put in with the Inara pieces when I ship them off to customers. They love that extra touch, you know.”

  “Will do,” I said, slipping out of my jacket.

  “Well, I’ll leave you to it. Oh…” she said, turning back from the hallway that led to her studio. “You’ll stay for dinner, right?”

  She knew how much I loved home-cooked meals. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

  Aunt Sage began to hum as she walked through the door to her studio. When I heard her “work” music start up, I stared at the books on the shelves and pulled the first one out. Might as well start from the top and work my way down.

  Three hours later, I was sprawled out on my stomach on the floor, taking notes on a notepad as I read passages from a book. All the dogs in the house were curled up against some part of me when Aunt Sage walked out of the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in—awww, don’t move. I’ve got to get my camera.”

  When she came back a few seconds later and snapped a shot, I snickered. “I’m sure that was a great picture of my butt.”

  She scrunched her nose and turned off the digital camera. “I was taking a picture of the dogs. Your cute butt just happened to be in it.”

  “Even I rank lower than you.” I sighed dramatically to Bo, who’d jumped up and was shoving his cold wet nose in my face, demanding attention.

  “They get food from a bag. You get homemade meals. Dinner will be ready in fifteen.”

  After she retreated into the kitchen, I organized all my notes, then put the books I’d pulled out back on the shelves. I had no idea my aunt’s interest in all things paranormal or New-Agey was so varied. From dictionaries, to books on government psychic programs, to mind-reading techniques, to crystal healing, to historical books on the Salem witch trials, to books on spells and herbs and aromatherapy. Her eclectic collection gave me plenty sources to glean a few tidbits on feathers, including beliefs, symbolic meanings and their uses in rituals and ceremonies.

  Armed with what I’d learned, I could be more specific in my searches on the net and maybe come up with some information that might help Ethan feel better about his feather tattoo. How he got the tattoo might forever remain a mystery, but I wanted to help him come to terms with it.

  “Did you find some additional information?” Aunt Sage asked as she set a plate with a delicious smelling twice-baked potato in front of me.

  “I found some interesting symbolism I didn’t know about.” I slid a piece of paper across the table toward her. “I compiled a list for you so you can create a ‘did you know’ facts insert for your customers.”

  * The eagle feather is used in some Indian ceremonies to communicate with the Spirit for celestial wisdom.

  * Some consider the feather to represent the power of air and wind.

  * Feathers are believed to symbolize higher thoughts, enlightenment and even spiritual ascension to a new plane.

  * The Celtic believe the feather represents knowledge of the celestial realm.

  After she scanned the paper, Aunt Sage looked thoughtful. “There are so many intriguing angles, aren’t there? Thank you for the fact sheet. You truly deserve all the credit for this new jewelry line.”

  “Feels like cheating somehow,” I snickered before taking a bite of my potato.

  Aunt Sage smiled. “My tarot reading this morning said today would be fruitful. I’d say fifty orders for Inara pieces counts.”

  “Fifty? Wow, that’s great. Who knew adding feathers could make such a difference. Oh, another thing I learned, did you know that birds have also been used for divination? Ravens were mentioned specifically in one of your books.”

  My aunt slid her fork into her own potato. “I remember reading something about ravens being kept at the Tower of London.”

  “Yep, I read that excerpt. It had to do with a long ago superstition that has continued into modern times. The whole Tower of London thing was interesting. I’m going to include that information in a History project Ethan and I are working on.”

  My aunt smiled. “I can see why you like Ethan.”

  I picked up my glass. “He’s amazing. I’m glad you like him.”

  “Have you told him about your gift?” she asked before chewing a bite of salad.

  I choked on the water. The hard lump rolled painfully down my throat and into my chest. “Um, well, there’s not really much to tell since I don’t dream any more.”

  “Ah, I see.” She balanced the fork on the tip of her finger. “Do you think he would understand if you told him?”

  The last thing I wanted to do was accidentally betray Ethan’s confidence. Shrugging, I grasped onto the first thing that popped into my mind for a change of subject. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you.” I touched the scar along my hairline. “I remembered how I got this.”

  Aunt Sage’s fork clattered to her plate, splattering salad dressing everywhere. “Damn,” she muttered and jumped up to grab a dishtowel. As she wiped the tiles on the table, she asked, “What did you remember?”

  Once I relayed the images that had flashed through my mind in the library, I frowned. “I remember the fear in Dad’s eyes and his shaking hands as he cleaned and bandaged my wound, but I thought something he’d whispered to himself was kind of odd. He’d said, “I bolted it to the wall. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  When my aunt’s hand stopped mid-wipe, I continued, “It wasn’t so much what he said, Aunt Sag
e, but the look in his eyes. It was almost, well…as if he’d expected the bookcase to fall over on me.”

  Slowly lowering herself back to her chair, Aunt Sage suddenly looked very tired. “You’ve always had a knack for reading people, Inara. Your dad had expected the bookcase to fall on you and yes, that’s why he bolted it.”

  I gripped my fork tight. “He knew that would happen?”

  Aunt Sage blew a wayward red curl out of her face. “You inherited your abilities from him.”

  A flush of heat swept over me, followed swiftly by anger. Why had no one ever told me? “Has Mom been lying to me all these years, too?” I said in a steely voice.

  “No, honey. Your mom never knew. She still doesn’t.” She tried to put her hand on mine, but I jerked back. Sighing, she continued. “I wanted to tell you, but your father insisted that you might not develop his abilities. He hoped that you wouldn’t.”

  “Why wouldn’t he want me to have them?”

  Tears rimmed her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. “Because you’re just like him and having the ability to see ahead can be dangerous. You’ll be tempted to intercede on behalf of others. The older you get, the more responsible you’ll feel. Do not intervene, Inara.” Her gaze pleaded with me, and I instantly thought of Jody and Kristin and all the other people in the locker hall who’d been injured. Were they paying for my involvement? If I’d done nothing, the bombing would’ve been worse! Aunt Sage’s next comment yanked me out of my chaotic thoughts. “Your father paid dearly for that. The highest price.”

  I slammed my fork down. “He left us! I don’t care one bit for whatever price he paid.”

  Sage swiped her tears away. “He tried to contact you once I told him you had his abilities, but had recently lost your dreams. Since your dreams never returned, he was relieved and decided it was best not to tell you that you’d inherited his ability—to let it all fade away.”

  Ethan has my dreams, I wanted to scream, but I was too angry that I’d been kept in the dark all my life. She’d let me tell her about my dreams the other day, while pretending ignorance. I curled my lip in annoyance. “Even though he walked out, he’s trying to be my parent, like he knows what’s best for me.”