More Than Friends

by Lolita Lane

  I frowned. “So I’m screwed, huh?”

  “Miss Neilson, you know me. I give one second chance. In this case, I’ll let you take the test again in a few days with the other failures. Usually I’m not supposed to put absentees in with them, but I’ll deal with the bureaucracy to make it happen.”

  “Thank you, Professor Schmoltz.”

  “Thank me by acing the test. You’re a bright student, Miss Neilson, don’t make be the one to cost you your proper graduation time.”

  “I won’t,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I’ll study extra hard and everything.”

  “Good, good. I believe in you.”

  I didn’t know how much I really believed in myself, though.

  Without much else to do the school day, I went home. Hungry due to skipping breakfast, I went into the kitchen, and ran into a friendly face. I still lived with my parents, and today was one of those days where I actually wanted some of that parental guidance for a change.

  My father poured a cup of coffee as I came in. “Dana, how were your classes today?”

  “Crap,” I said, opening the refrigerator and pulling our some grapes. I dropped them on the table and started to snack on them as I talked to my dad.

  “What happened?”

  “I missed a test. Like, totally absent. I overslept.”

  “Do you need a new alarm clock?”

  “No, no. It’s not the clocks fault it didn’t go off. It won’t go off period if I don’t even set it.”

  “Alright. Why are you so panicked anyway, then? One test isn’t the end of the world.”

  “Dad, I was already sort of on the edge with this class. I needed to get a B on this test or I’d flunk out. I need this credit to get my degree on time.” I pulled a fruit bowl out of the fridge and set it down across from my father.

  “That’s bad,” he sipped his coffee. “Can you do anything about it?”

  “Professor Schmoltz is going to give me a retest in three days. Thankfully he’s one of the more forgiving professors I have.” I rested my head on one of my hands as I popped a grape into it. “Not like it matters, I’m pretty terrible at anthropology and pretty terrible at studying, so I’m just delaying the inevitable.”

  “You’re not usually this defeatist, Dani.”

  “Sorry, it’s just been a rough day.” Lingering thoughts of what I can’t have tended to progressively make my day worse, typically.

  “Maybe you should get a tutor to help you out? Make you study the right things to pass the test?”

  “All the people who serve as tutors as assholes, Dad.” Well, in my opinion anyway. Self-righteous and holier than thou, my experiences with the school’s assigned tutors were never all that good.

  “Or you should ask one of your smart friends.” He stroked his chin. “Hey, isn’t Ian in anthropology classes too? He’s smart. Ask him to help you.”

  Having Ian as a friend meant my parents loved him because they could immediately point to him and point out how good his grades were and how I should aspire to be more like him. Well, after they realized he wasn’t going to knock me up and make me a teenaged mother when our hormones started to rage.

  Ian wasn’t fair anyway, being a straight A student on top of being so damned hot now on top of it. You’re supposed to only pick one or the other.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t talked with him in awhile.”

  “You two? You’re like siblings. He probably misses studying with you.”

  I took a deep breath. I hated the like siblings part. I admit, I took the comparison from my folks, which is why they trusted him not to randomly get me pregnant during my hormonal teenage years. “I guess I’ll ask him. He might be busy, though.”

  “He’ll make time for you, Dana. I’d like to see that kid around more.”

  “I’ll ask, Dad, jeesh. Is it so absurd that Ian might have other plans?”

  “I don’t know why you’re acting like that. Did you two get in a fight or something?”

  “No, nothing like that.”

  Of course, when you get out of the teenaged years and into the adult years, your parents concerns shift from you becoming a teenaged mother to making sure you marry a nice boy. Ian? Was definitely a nice boy, and would have strong parental approval.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t think Ian would help me. No, I know he had a good chance of doing so.

  I wanted to move on, though. I wanted to see other people, and stop comparing them to him, so that maybe I could have an actual boyfriend and get laid. Being a virgin a few years into college turns from waiting for the right guy to worrying about being seen as pathetic.

  Besides, the more and more I thought about it, the less likely me and Ian ever being more than what we were grew more and more unlikely. Not with how he looked now.

  “Then what’s the problem, Dana?” My father looked me down.

  “I don’t know. That’s why I’m so damn confused, Dad.”

  Chapter Four

  The next day I waited around after my class, looking for Ian. His schedule was different, and I wasn’t constantly aware of everywhere he had been like I used to be. I turned around a hallway and saw him. He was surrounded by three girls. Three cute, popular girls. He was talking to all of them, and they all seem very interested in what he had to say. One in particular, with brown hair and a charming smile, was receiving most of his attention. She was all over him, touching him, hugging him. I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined it was a crazed smile to be the certain of attention.

  Of course. These last few years had been kind to him, making him a massive chick magnet who could summon a harem with ease. A late bloom changed everything for him. While for me? No late bloom to give me giant breasts or something. I was the same old boring Dana, still unable to get over a crush on my childhood friend.

  Still, Dad was right. If anyone could help me pass my anthropology test, it was Ian, and if anyone would, it was still Ian.

  The crowd of cute girls dispersed long before I got near him, thankfully, with the brown haired smiler lingering last. “Hi, Ian,” I said, coming up to him.

  “Dana, you’ve been a stranger,” he said, his voice so comforting to me. I reflexively blushed a bit. “What’s going on, buddy?”

  He was quick to come up to me and toss a hand over my shoulder. This wasn’t helping, but I powered through my temptations. “Ian, I missed my anthropology exam. Even if I showed up for it, I think I would fail it.”

  “Shit, that sucks.”

  “Professor Schmoltz is giving me a second chance in three days. I need to study for it pretty hard.”

  “Do you need some help then?”

  “Yeah, actually, that’s what I was going to ask.”

  “Why don’t you come over to my place tonight then?” He was rubbing my shoulder as he talked. “I’ll give you a crash course on it. I aced the exam, you know.”

  “Of course you did.”

  “It’s easier than it sounds, Dana. I’ll get you set up nice and sweet and you’ll be able to crush the exam like I did.”

  “A B. A B is all I need, Ian. If you can get me that, I’ll love you forever.” I bit my tongue just then. “Owe you forever.”

  He laughed. “Don’t worry about it, Dana. You’ve been a ghost to me these past few months. I’m looking forward to being able to hang out with you again.”

  “Me too,” I said, not knowing if I was lying or not.

  Chapter Five

  Ian was staying in the dorms, as part of his own way of growing up a little faster than I did. He offered to go into the coed building with me, but I instead chose to keep going home, not wanting to give up seeing my parents daily just yet.

  With my book bag slung over my shoulder, I entered the building and started making my way to his room. I was trying to get my head focused on academics instead of Ian, but that was never all that easy. Especially not when he answered my knocking wearing only a pair of basketball shorts.

  “Dana, you ready to cram t
hose books into your head?”

  I forced a smile. “Yeah, sure, I guess.”

  I tried to avoid looking at him as he let me in, and offered me a glass of water as we sat down. Tried was the operative word, as I couldn’t help but see how far his leg I could look up as he sat across from me on a raised chair.

  I shook my head loose. Was I hoping to get a glimpse at a nut or something? I was being silly.

  “I’ve taken to anthropology pretty easily, really,” Ian explained. “You, though, should focus on the tests more than a more complete understanding. That means lots of fun memorization.”

  “Oh joy,” I said, pouring my books out. “I can’t wait to memorize everything a bunch of old white guys said.”

  “It’s not as hard as you think. And hey, not every one of them is an old white guy. Just most of them. The vast majority of them, even. But not all.”

  Ian reached over to one of my books and opened it for me, and brought his finger over one of the topics. Franz Boas.

  “Old white guy number one is this dude,” he started, before going on and over what said old white guy did. Ian was going on and on about it, looking down at my book and doing well reading upside down to me.

  It was quickly becoming a blur to me though, as I was looking across at him talk. It’d been so long since I was this close to him and I was taken in at just how handsome he was. None of the other boys in the college had anything on him. It left me wondering how long I have to wait before I truly encountered anyone as good as him.

  I kept on nodding like I was paying attention to everything he was saying, but truthfully, I was already lost to my thoughts.

  So much so that I almost fell out of my chair when he called my name.

  “Dana? Dana!”

  “Oh yeah, yeah he contributed a lot to um, ethnography,” I said, reading a random word Ian’s hand was pointing to.

  “Why don’t you read for me. Tell me if there’s something you don’t understand.”

  “Oh, okay.” I looked down at the book. “Hey, it’s not an old white guy. Ruth Benedict.”

  I started to read from the book aloud but I couldn’t help but feel like it was passing through my head and not sticking. I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched as I read aloud. I glanced toward Ian, and caught his eyes looking away, as if he didn’t want to be caught looking at me either. I never stopped reading though.

  “You picking up what she’s about?” Ian said.

  “Uhm, uh, racism is bad?”

  “I guess that’s one way to look at her studies. Come on, Dana, you need to get a grip on this.”

  He moved to the other side of the table right next to me, and put his arm over my shoulder.

  That wasn’t going to help me focus. That wasn’t going to help me focus at all.

  “Come on, eyes on the book. Let’s go over this. We need to drill this into your head, Dana.”

  I took a deep breath. He was right. I wasn’t here to ogle Ian, I was here to study. “Let’s do it then,” I said, smiling.

  “Good, good. Now Benedict did speak out against racist beliefs in ‘The Races of Mankind’, but her point was far more nuanced than ‘racism is bad’.”

  Against all odds, I made myself pay attention. I listened what Ian had to say and did my damnedest in committing his words to memory.

  I guess part of me thought he would think less of me if I got all this direct tutoring and then ended up failing the exam anyway.

  Still, I was there with him. Learning. Being close to him. Him touching me every now and again.

  A few hours passed and we had both ended up exhausting ourselves on all of it.

  “Can I get you a soda, Dana?”

  I nodded. “Something with caffeine please.”

  As he turned away, I watched with my chin in my hand. His ass was so easy to see in those basketball shorts and I found myself entranced by it.

  I shook my head of it again. It was me being really silly again, of course. I was the only one who wanted more out of our relationship than just friendship – and he was a damn good friend. Ian was done with this, all this study session was was strictly for me and to help me pass the test better. Here I was, unable to keep my mind wandering for even a few hours.

  Bad mind, bad!

  He returned with a glass full of a purple soda and a bottle full of it in his other hand. He still remembered that I had quite the love affair with grape soda. I blushed a little, being thankful he cared enough about me to remember that.

  “Oh shit,” he stumbled forward, and I glanced down at what could have tripped him up. Somehow, my book bag had floated over there and he wasn’t used to it being there. As he fell, the glass flipped forward toward me and hit the counter. Luckily, the glass wasn’t actually glass and was instead just plastic.

  Not so luckily was that all of the liquid inside of it lashed out and onto my chest, and all over my shirt.

  What a waste of grape soda.

  My t-shirt was soaked in it, and while I liked this flavor, I didn’t necessarily enjoy wearing and smelling like it.

  “Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Dana.”

  I stood up, the cold liquid quickly going through my shirt and bra, and making me quite a bit anxious as I felt it on my very sensitive tits.

  It didn’t help that Ian’s eyes were directed right at the mess he had made, and I knew that I was now showing the results shared between arousal and it being kinda cold.

  Quickly, I stood and turned away from him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it was just a mistake.”

  “I can let you borrow one of my shirts. It’ll be a little bit big, but at least it’s dry.”

  “Um, sure,” I said, not really thinking about it.

  “Here, just take this, I’ll dig one out.”

  He took off the shirt he was wearing and tossed me it. I caught it, and turned around to see what I had been fantasizing about in the flesh. God, why did puberty he have to suddenly get so damned hot? I glanced away, and made my way to the bathroom.

  I took off my shirt, and took my bra with it too, being that it was soaked right through my top. His shirt, the one he was wearing. It wasn’t anything special, just the colors of our college. I sniffed it, and it smelled like him. My heart pounded a little harder before I realized what a weirdo I was sitting here sniffing my best friend’s shirt. I slipped it on, closing my eyes for a moment realizing that something that was touching his chest was now touching mine by proxy.

  Laughing, I bundled up my bra and shirt, turning around. Something moved. Wait, was Ian peeking in on me? I should have closed the door.

  I was putting way too much into this. Ian was the kind of guy who would just give you the shirt right off his back, no matter who you were. He was also probably wondering why I was an idiot and just didn’t close the door to avoid invading my privacy.

  Coming back out, I picked up my back pack, put my wet clothes in them, and moved it to somewhere that wouldn’t cause another accident. Ian had poured me another glass of grape soda and has slipped into a sleeveless shirt of his own, letting me continue to admire his arms.

  I sipped the soda as I sat back down in the chair. “So how long do we have?”

  “All night,” he responded quickly.

  “Really? I saw those girls on you. You don’t have a hot date with one of them?”

  “They wanted to study with me, but when you asked, I blew them off to help you. Friends first.”

  Again, I blushed. “I didn’t mean to cock-block you like that.”

  “They’re not my type anyway, Dana.”

  “What is your type, anyway?” I found myself asking automatically.

  He paused a moment. He wasn’t looking at me at the time, and took his time answering my question. “Someone more down to earth. Maybe the girl next door type of thing. I need to have more in common with them than just finding them attractive you know.”

  “The girl next door, huh?”

  “Sometimes you don’t ha
ve to go too far to find someone you love.”

  I looked toward him, and he was looking right at me. Was he talking about me?

  “How about you, Dana, who are you after?”

  “Well, um,” I laughed, trying to deflect. “Just you know. A good looking guy. One who’s smart, sexy. You know, what every girl wants, right? Someone who’ll treat her right. Someone who can be my best friend.”

  There was another long pause between us, neither of us looking at the other.

  “Someone like me?”

  “Ye,” I paused. “Uh, no. Um, you’re like my brother, Ian.”

  “Yeah,” he said, his wind seemingly fading. “I love you like,”

  I swallowed.

  “A sister. Yeah. Just a sister.”

  There was yet another long pause. Not a word out of his mouth seemed to have that sincerity to it. The awkwardness that was in that room between us was just so powerful and overwhelming.

  I needed to get out of there – and fast.

  “I’m kinda tired, Ian,” I said, feigning a yawn. “I really appreciate your help, but can we just put it all on tomorrow? It’ll be fresh in my mind for the day after that way.”

  “That works for me. I’m just about out of it myself. We’ll go into overdrive tomorrow.”

  I stood up, and gathered my bag. “Um, when do you want the shirt back?”

  “You can keep it,” he said.

  I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering if I would ever wash it, then mentally slapped myself for thinking like that. “Thank you,” I said, heading for the door.

  “Be safe out there, Dana,” he replied, getting the door for me.

  I nodded, walking out.

  I heard something I don’t think I was meant to hear just then.

  “I love you.”

  It was as if it was under Ian’s breath. I spun around to see if it was him saying it, but the door was already closed.

  Chapter Six

  I didn’t sleep well that night. Not even with the aid of Ian’s shirt. It just made me think of him even more, and the thoughts of if he truly did have feelings for me or were they just my imagination running wild? That couldn’t have been the case. He had his pick of any girl on the campus, why on earth would he go back to his old best friend of all people?