BoldLust

by Sky Robinson

  Opal took a breath and then continued. She hadn’t told many people her story. Most people didn’t care enough to ask. “From that day, I knew I wanted to be like those women. Life was too short to be bored or unhappy with life. I wanted to laugh and love and enjoy every day.”

  “Do you feel like you’ve got that?” Kate’s eyes were wide with interest.

  Was Kate thinking about becoming a sporting woman? Opal had to dissuade her. Kate was too gentle, too sensitive for this profession. She wouldn’t trade it for her mother’s life, even now that she’d seen the downsides to the career, but she couldn’t encourage a woman like Kate to become a part of this world, which could be very dark and lonely at times.

  “Sort of. It isn’t always as fun as I thought it would be, but I do what I want with whoever I want, and that’s freeing. Sometimes I wonder if there could have been a man out there who could keep me happy, if I could have been a woman who stayed home having babies and cooking supper every night, but I’ve given up that chance by doing this.” There was more truth to her words than she wanted to admit even to herself. She would never have the monogamous love of a man.

  “Well, are you ready to open up shop?” Opal forced her thoughts to return to business, she couldn’t spend her time daydreaming about the man she loved. It was depressing, and she already did way too much of it.

  A solid knock at the door echoed through the house. Opal didn’t have a candle lit in the window. Anyone outside should know she wasn’t taking customers right now, should know that they weren’t open for business yet.

  “I’ll get it.” Opal moved across the room with determination to let whoever it was who’d interrupted her dinner know that he shouldn’t make that mistake again.

  “Hello,” Opal said curtly to the dirty-looking little man standing in front of her. His hair and face were so encrusted in mud that she couldn’t even tell his hair color. There was no way she was taking him upstairs.

  “Is Kate here?” His eyes shifted nervously.

  “May I ask what kind of business you have with her?” At least she didn’t have to turn the dirty little man down, but she wasn’t going to let him through the door without knowing exactly what he wanted with Kate.

  “I’m her fiancé.” He looked down at the boardwalk and shook his head sadly before turning his focus back up to Opal. “I mean her former fiancé.”

  “Oh. Let me go check to see if she’s here.” Opal knew that Kate had come here with a man, she also knew about the letter that man sent. She would give Kate a chance to avoid him if she wanted to.

  Opal walked back to the kitchen. “Kate, there’s a man here to see you. He says he’s your former fiancé. Do you want me to send him away, tell him you’re gone?”

  Opal gave her the chance to walk away without dealing with Sean, but Kate couldn’t take it. “No. I’ll talk to him.” She had to do this, had to have closure with Sean. Running away from her problems didn’t make them disappear. So far it seemed to only make things worse.

  She walked to the door and froze, eyes wide, staring at the man in the doorway that she barely recognized. The well-groomed boy with an easy smile she’d expected wasn’t there, instead a ragged, dirty and down man stood in front of her. She never expected to see Sean like this, never expected to see him again at all.

  “Sean. What are you doing here?” Kate didn’t even try to hide the shock in her voice.

  “I knew you would wait for me. I’m sorry, baby, I was being stupid. I think the mountain air was getting to me. Anyway, I came back for you.” He looked like he was going to lean forward to hug her, so Kate took a step backward to avoid his touch.

  “What happened to your new love?” Sean thought he could just saunter in here and have her again? He thought she would just roll over and take him back because he said he was sorry? There were some times when “I’m sorry” just wasn’t enough. This was definitely one of them.

  “Turns out she only liked me for as long as I could bring her nice things. I ran out of money, and she found a new man.” He looked at the floor, embarrassed.

  Kate might have laughed at the irony of it all if she still wasn’t in shock that he was at her door expecting her to take him back. Did he really think she was that much of a pushover? Well, she wasn’t.

  “Sean, I am not here just waiting for you. I happen to enjoy living in Alaska and chose to stay for the summer.” She put her hands on her hips and stared at him. It wasn’t a complete lie. There were parts of living in Alaska she enjoyed and he knew her financial situation to know she couldn’t just take off and leave without him. He didn’t know that she had been working, though.

  “Oh.” He put his hands in his pockets, his eyes moved to the floor again.

  “I have no interest in getting back together with you. Ever. If you could leave me that easily, you are not a man I want in my life.” She felt a little guilty about the blunt honesty of her statements, but it was what needed to be said. She couldn’t give herself to a man who could change his mind so easily, who could throw her away like Sean had.

  “Well, can I at least stay the night? I don’t really have anywhere to go, and I’m out of money.”

  He had paid for the room, and he looked so pitiful. Kate felt like she owed him something.

  “You can stay in my room tonight, but I will not be staying here with you. Come back at about ten, when Opal and I are done working.”

  “Done working?” His eyebrows raised in curiosity.

  But she had no desire to explain herself to him. “Don’t worry about it, Sean. I’m not your problem anymore.”

  It felt good, liberating, to say those words to him. And the moment they came out of her mouth, she knew she was doing the right thing. Watching him walk away was hard, but it was what had to happen. She couldn’t give herself to a man as fickle as Sean. She couldn’t give herself to a man she didn’t love wholeheartedly ever again. Not once she had experienced the real thing, not once she had experienced the love of a man like Carter.

  Chapter Eleven

  The end of the night came, and Kate was getting rid of the last man when Opal came down the stairs. She didn’t walk with her normal swagger but looked worn out, and a little sad. She seemed that way at the end of the night a lot of the time lately.

  “What are you going to do tonight…about Sean?” Opal questioned. “I couldn’t help but overhear part of your conversation earlier.”

  “Will you show him to my room when he comes?” Kate felt a little guilty sticking Opal with the duty, but she didn’t want to face him again. Sean didn’t need her, didn’t deserve her courtesy. What he needed was a place to stay, and he could have that since he was the one who paid the rent for the room here. She would not be staying with him.

  “I’m going to pay Carter a visit. If it goes well, I won’t be back tonight. If things don’t go well with Carter you’ll find me sleeping on the davenport in the morning.”

  Kate needed to go back and talk to him, explain why she ran from him, ran from the things he did to her, why they scared her. He deserved an explanation, but there was more than just that. Kate had fallen in love with Carter. No matter how many ways she tried to deny it, no matter how many good reasons there were to stay away, she couldn’t.

  Being honest with him was the only way she would ever have another chance at that love.

  “Good luck,” Opal called as Kate walked out the door.

  “Thanks.” Kate took a deep breath, stepped onto the boardwalk and let the door slam shut behind her.

  She felt queasy, on the edge of losing her supper as she walked down the dark path toward Carter’s house. People still wandered all around the town so she didn’t feel unsafe.

  This was something she had to take care of. There was no reason to put the conversation off any longer, and Sean’s presence forced her to see that it needed to happen now. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was not going to stop her.

  Now was the time to either fix things between Ca
rter and herself or end them for good. She had enough money to go home, and a boat was scheduled to arrive in a day and then another one the week after. She didn’t know which one she would take, but Kate did know she couldn’t leave without at least talking to him one last time.

  The scared feeling she had last week wasn’t because anything he did to her was actually frightening. It was the opposite. Everything he did made her feel good. The only bad part was her emotional reaction to it, her thinking she needed to be like Opal and Emma. She wasn’t either one of them, she needed different things than they did.

  Kate stood in front of Carter’s door, hesitating. And then finally got the nerve up to raise her hand to the wood and knock quietly, half of her hoping he wouldn’t answer and the other half desperately hoping he would.

  The sound of footsteps approaching the door was an obvious signal he was coming and her heart pounded. Kate took a deep breath and kept her feet planted on the wooden walkway, working to resist the urge to run away.

  “Kate.” He spoke the one word without emotion. No smile but no grimace either, nothing to give away what he felt about her sudden presence on his doorstep.

  “I was hoping you would have time to talk.” Kate grabbed at her skirt nervously and then forced her hands to be still. Being nervous wasn’t going to do her any good, and there was no real reason to be nervous around Carter.

  “Sure. Come on in.” He held the door open and moved sideways to let her through, shutting the door solidly behind.

  This was it. This was her one opportunity to win Carter back or say goodbye for good.

  “What would you like to talk about?” Carter had been hoping this day would come. Hoping Kate would come back to him. He missed her and wanted her back, but he couldn’t go running after the girl. He had already been too forceful with his pursuit. Hell, that was his nature. He couldn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t. He just hoped she could accept him, all of him.

  Carter knew the only way was to wait, give Kate time to decide on her own that his strange desires in the bedroom were ones she shared. Hopefully that was the reason she was here tonight.

  “Us.” Kate’s lower lip trembled when she said the word, but he didn’t know if it was sadness or fear or what causing the action.

  They were both holding out on any emotional reactions tonight, but God he hoped there could be a way for them to be together again. He wanted Kate back more than anything, the way his heart warmed seeing her here tonight proved it.

  “I didn’t think you wanted there to be an ‘us’?” It wasn’t likely.

  “I’ve always wanted there to be an ‘us’, even when I shouldn’t have. I’m very attracted to you. Have been from the start.” She looked down at her hands.

  “But?” he prompted, not getting his hopes up yet. There was obviously a “but”.

  “It’s not that at all. I just want to be needed, I don’t want to always let a man take care of me. I want to be important for more than just looking pretty.”

  “You’re much more than that to me. I consider you my equal, probably better than equal. You’re smart and beautiful and I do want to take care of you. Not because I think you need taken care of, I want to give you everything in life.”

  This was all about some sort of independence, about being needed? She didn’t know she didn’t have to do a damn thing to be valuable to him. He needed her smile, her beautiful voice soothing him, needed every part of her body pressing against him.

  This was going to be a lot easier than he expected. “If I get rid of Betsy would you start with taking your old job back? She’s going to drive me nuts.” If all it took to make her feel valuable was to give her work, he surely could do that. Hell, he’d let her do all the work if that was what she wanted.

  The future of his business might be difficult now, not as sure a thing, but life was never sure.

  Some of the people in town might not patronize him if he took Kate back as an employee or wife, but that wasn’t everything. It wasn’t even important. Not right now, not with her standing there, looking at him with those big eyes.

  The past week had been hell without Kate in his life. Carter would take her back and if the people in this town didn’t want to buy his things because of it, he would move to another town, start all over again. She was that important. Firing Betsy and taking Kate back was the right move.

  “Is that the only reason you want me back?” Kate teased.

  He liked seeing her smile again. It made his heart warm.

  “Absolutely not. I miss seeing you every day, I miss your company.”

  “What about Betsy?”

  “Betsy is a good worker, but I’m miserable having to be around her. I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than spend much more time in her presence.”

  Kate snorted. “I guess I better come back to save you.” She moved closer, grabbing both of Carter’s hands in hers and grinning up at him.

  “I do need to be saved.” He pulled her tight, hugging her body against his, afraid to let go. He never wanted to lose Kate again. “And you’re the only woman for the job.”

  Carter moved his mouth down to hers, his kiss soft, letting her know just how much he appreciated her. He would give her anything she needed to be happy, to feel secure, anything she wanted in life.

  Carter pulled Kate against the entire length of his body, his mouth moving to hers again. He waited, gave her the chance to move away, but when she moved forward, leaned into him, he couldn’t help but kiss her, hard, tongue demanding, leaving no question about how badly he wanted to make her his again.

  Blood rushed to his cock as she kissed him back, her tongue invading his mouth with a passion that mirrored his. His hard-on pressed against her belly, he knew she felt it. Just as he knew she wanted him. It was in her eyes, in the way she inhaled when he touched her.

  “I think we should move to the bedroom,” he said and then clamped his lips shut. It was definitely what he wanted, but he might be nearing dangerous territory. He needed to be cautious, but he also needed her sweet body. Now. Forever.

  “Okay.” Kate didn’t hesitate, she took Carter’s hand and led the way up to his room. She could lead him up to the bedroom anytime, and he could let her take the lead, at least for a little while. Damn, he’d do anything to keep Kate.

  She stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to face Carter. He didn’t move, barely breathed.

  “Unbutton my shirt.” He kept his voice calm, even, and watched for her reaction.

  Her hands moved to his shirt. Delicate fingers released each button slowly, carefully. She slipped her soft hands beneath the material and pushed it off his shoulders. Kate let her hands drift softly down his chest.

  Beautiful green eyes looked up at Carter, searching for reassurance as she moved her hands to his pants but hesitated.

  “Unfasten my pants.” His words were a little bit strained, just like the material at the front of his pants.

  Kate quickly undid his pants and let them drop to the floor.

  Her soft fingertips touched the glimmer of wetness at tip of his cock and then moved in a circle around the head.

  Blood rushed to the tip of him, throbbing until he thought he was going to explode. Carter wanted to let her explore, but damn it, he wanted his cock inside her even more. He needed to give her pleasure until she couldn’t take any more. And he needed her to stop touching him so he would retain the ability to accomplish that.

  “Turn around for me.” She did as he asked without hesitation and Carter took his turn undressing Kate, unbuttoning her dress as he kissed the soft skin of her back.

  He let her dress fall to the floor and turned her around. He kissed her lips, moved his hands to her breasts and touched the soft, round mounds. His thumbs moved to her nipples, bringing each one to a stiff peak.

  Her moans of pleasure filled the little room, showing him just how strong her need for him really was. No matter how much she tried to deny it, tried to deny him, Carter knew she
couldn’t. Hopefully she would be willing to face that fact and he wouldn’t scare her again.

  “I know you want independence, but don’t you see that when we’re together, even when I have you tied up, you still have all the power?” He sucked one of her nipples solidly into his mouth and she inhaled sharply.

  “What do you mean?” She looked down at him with those big eyes, so innocent and so tempting at the same time.

  “I would never do anything you don’t want. If you ever want me to stop doing anything, I will. You have all the control. I can’t take anything unless you give it to me. That’s how this relationship works.”

  He might be in control, holding her down and tying her up, but she was the one with all the power. Kate had the power to say no, the power to break his heart.

  “Really?” She looked hesitant.

  “Yes really,” he assured her, but the talking had to stop. His cock pulsed with need. He had to have Kate, had to make her his.

  “Turn around, bend over and rest your hands on the bed.”

  She did as he said, pointed the smooth skin of her bare ass toward him and he slapped one of the cheeks lightly.

  She clenched and then relaxed and turned her head over her shoulder. “What was that for?”

  “Did you like it?”

  She hesitated for a second and he held his breath. If she said no it would kill him.

  “Yes, I did,” she said shyly, her top cheeks turning almost as pink as the one he spanked.

  “That spanking was your punishment for running away from me, but you don’t have to be embarrassed, don’t have to be shy about admitting the things you enjoy to me. I want you to tell me what you like, tell me what you want. No one else will ever have to know.”

  “Really?” she asked softly.

  “Yes, really.” A relationship like theirs needed to be filled with open communication. Always. “No hiding anything from me.”

  “Okay, I won’t.” She looked nervous.

  Carter moved his lips down to her ass, kissing and biting the soft skin until she moaned. Kate’s moan told him it was having the desired effect, taking her mind off the serious stuff and letting pleasure overtake her.