HIS Destiny (H.I.S. #5)

by Sheila Kell

  With her voice low, she leaned over a white crib and answered him. “Okay, so I wasn’t in love with him, but I had enough love and respect for Brian that we would’ve been very happy.”

  A Mr. Right-Now. Something wasn’t right. Had the man lured her to bed and she felt she had to marry him? Being pregnant might do that. “If you weren’t in love with him, why? Why not wait for that perfect guy you always hoped for?”

  She raised and lowered a side rail on a walnut crib and then sighed heavily. “I got tired of waiting.”

  His arms resting on top of the raised rail on the opposite side of the crib, he took a moment before responding. “Sometimes it takes longer to find him.”

  She shook her head and moved to the next crib. The rich mahogany finish caught his attention. He ran his hands lovingly over it. This was the crib for Ashley. He knew it.

  “No, I found him all right.” The irony in her voice fueled his curiosity.

  “And?” he prompted.

  “He’s not in love with me.” Sadness wove its way through her statement, and it hit his heart with the power of a sledgehammer.

  “Tell me who it is, and I’ll have a talk with him.” The man would be a fool to pass up someone as precious as Kelly. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and damn good at her job.

  At first, he thought she wouldn’t tell him, then she fired, “It’s you, Trent,” at him, knocking him mentally off-balance. “I got tired of waiting for you to notice me as anything other than a friend.”

  A sucker punch to the gut would’ve felt better. What the hell was he to do with her statement? The fact she’d been waiting made him sick to think she’d passed up so many possible good men. I loved him… enough. Her voice rang in his mind. “Kelly—” He cleared his throat to start again, even though he had no idea what to say.

  Holding up a hand to stop his flow of words, she said, “No. It’s okay. I like that you’re still my best friend.” With that, she scanned the tag on the crib. “We’re done.”

  What the fuck did he do now?

  AN UNCOMFORTABLE VIBE bled into the remainder of their evening. With the shopping trip ended, they returned to Kelly’s apartment. She didn’t even balk when he’d said he was staying on her couch again.

  Lying on the gray cloth-covered piece, with his hands folded together behind his head, he put his mind to work since it refused to allow him to slumber. Keeping her in his sights from here on out would not be easy. Keeping his suspicions from her for long would be difficult. She could read him like no other. That was because—

  What in the hell was he supposed to do with her bold statement that she was in love with him? I love her like my best friend, but I’m not in love with her. He had no idea what in love meant. Could he actually be? He felt protective of her, wanted to be around her, wanted to take her to bed and love the hell out of her—even pregnant, and he thought of her when he had something to share, and he thought of her every day he’d been gone. Ah, hell. He felt something deeper for her than just love. But, in love?

  “Trent,” Kelly whispered as she quietly entered the living room. “Are you awake?”

  Rolling to his side, pushing against the couch so his back was hidden from sight, he propped himself up on an elbow while tugging the sheet to cover his bare chest. Forgetting his overnight bag at his apartment, he hadn’t had anything to sleep in, except his underwear. He’d have been damned if he’d have gone home to pick it up only to come back to a possible locked door.

  He answered, but only after soaking in the site of her in flannel pajama pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. “Yeah, I’m awake.” His voice sounded gravelly—like he’d just woken—even to his ears. Clearing his throat, he watched her gingerly sit in a chair across from the couch. “What’s up? Are you okay?” Panic suddenly flooded him. Oh God, was she hurt worse than they’d thought? The baby? His stomach plummeted at the thought and rolled into a nasty ball of stress.

  “I’m fine. We’re fine,” she said, putting his mind at ease. At least on that front.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I wanted to talk with you about what I said earlier.”

  It was difficult, but he held back the groan of frustration that roared within to escape. He still didn’t have a response for her. Nor did he think he would since his mind couldn’t deal with that type of personal shit when her life might be in danger.

  “I’m sorry I threw that out there. It wasn’t fair.”

  No, it fucking wasn’t, but she’d done it anyway.

  “I understand you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay.” She paused. “It has been for a long time. That’s why I was going to marry Brian. I did love him, you know.”

  Shards of jealousy shot through his veins. He had to stop that. Brian was dead.

  “Kelly,” he began then stopped. What could he say? He may have been a bit of a ladies’ man, but being good with conversations like this had always been AJ’s forte. His charm had been his smile.

  “It really is okay. I just don’t want anything to change between us.”

  “Marry me,” he blurted out, even to his own surprise. What the hell did I just say?

  Staring at him, with her wide-eyed gaze, Kelly shook her head. “No, Trent.”

  At that moment, he got it, and his mind went on a roll. “No, listen. It makes sense. You’re pregnant and alone. A husband would be good for you and the baby. A baby should have a father growing up.” He stopped, and his father came to mind. The man who’d lied all those years to protect him. “Not that she wouldn’t know about Brian, but someone to help you raise her.” He drew in a deep breath and continued, firm in his decision. “We get along great. It all makes sense. Let me be there to help you.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes before one slid down her cheek. Christ, his proposal had made her cry. He hadn’t planned to propose, and it hadn’t been eloquent, but he hadn’t wanted to make her cry because of it. Needing to fix it, he quickly scrambled off the couch, donned a T-shirt, moved to her and dropped to one knee in front of her. “Marry me, Kelly.”

  “I can’t, Trent. You don’t love me, and you’ll come to regret our marriage. I won’t live out my years with you being unhappy.”

  Reaching up, with his thumb he wiped away the tears on her cheek. “I’d never be unhappy with you, Kelly.”

  “The answer is still no. If you ever fall in love with me, then I’ll change my mind, but until then, let’s remain friends.”

  As she stood, so did he. They were close, and her lips looked so tantalizing in the light spilling in from the streetlamp. With his right hand, he cupped her cheek and leaned in and put his lips to hers. Barely touching, heat soared up and raged through him.

  All the reasons why he shouldn’t have kissed her slipped his mind. In fact, his mind went MIA while he suckled on her lower lip until her arms came up to his chest. Even through his shirt, her hands drove him to want more. Her touch excited him more than he’d ever been turned on. One might argue, but deep inside, he knew it had nothing to do with him not having sex in five months. It was Kelly. Dear, wonderful, Kelly.

  Needing more, he covered her lips fully and used his tongue to probe until she opened for him. Slipping his tongue inside her mouth, she welcomed it as he tasted her sweetness for the first time and knew he’d never tasted anyone so perfect for him. Her active participation sent him out-of-control, ramping up his need and eliciting a physical response from his dick.

  Lips feasting on hers, he knew he had to stop before she noticed his tenting underwear. Reluctantly, he pulled back. With ragged breathing, she dropped her head to his shoulder, and he stood still. Uncomfortable, but still. What he wanted to do was grab her and take her to her bedroom, remove her clothes and taste her essence, make her come, and please her like she’d never been pleasured before.

  “Now will you marry me?” he said hoarsely.

  She straightened, and he missed her leaning into him. Missed that feeling of rightness. “No, Trent. That kiss didn’t ch
ange the fact that you’re not in love with me.” After separating herself from him, she steered to her bedroom. “Good night.”

  Standing there like an idiot—one with a semi—he could do nothing but gawk at her retreating body. But his eyes dropped to her luscious ass as it swayed with each step.

  You should be happy she said no. You don’t really know what you want with your life, and you definitely don’t want to get married. She’d have to see you without your shirt and then she’d never have sex with you.

  Coming to his senses, he trudged over to the couch and plopped down. He’d really asked her to marry him. Had he taken leave of his senses? Thank goodness she’d had the smarts to say no.

  A sudden jab to the heart hit him. What the hell was wrong with him? Besides having half-wood and wanting his best friend who only wanted him if he was in love with her? Almost laughing out loud, he thought about all his other problems and could imagine Jamie just shaking her head at him for this one.

  Kelly said no. So no it was.

  Unexpectedly, disappointment settled deep in his heart.

  Ripping the covers aside, he lay down, and this time, he fell asleep quickly.

  Trent woke to the tantalizing scent of coffee and immediately reached to his chest to ensure he was covered. Kelly would probably accept his scars, but he wasn’t ready to show anyone, even her. Just like he’d like to see her pussy, but she wasn’t apt to show him so he could drive deep inside. Shit. He couldn’t think like that.

  How she would act, after their kiss, was something he’d thought about, but came to no conclusion. Would she act like nothing happened? Be angry at him? Fall all over herself at him? He laughed at the last one and must’ve caught her attention, because he heard, “About time you rolled out of bed, sleepy head.”

  After reaching for his watch, he jumped up at seeing the time. Damn. Then he went to rip his covers off. Shit. Morning wood. Grabbing his jeans, he quickly shoved his legs in and pulled them up, stuffing himself in just in time for her to come into the room with two cups of coffee.

  Accepting a mug from her, he thought while he first blew on it, then sipped. Protecting Kelly was important. Critical. Everything. He wanted to stay close to her and had to do it without her realizing why.

  “What’s your plan for the day?” he asked nonchalantly.

  She frowned. “I have to go to work.”

  Surprised that she’d go back so soon, he blurted out, “But you were almost killed yesterday.”

  With a shake of her head, she sighed before she sat in a chair. “Don’t be so melodramatic. I barely received a scratch.”

  Grumbling, he sat to put himself at her level. “I at least need to take you to your car.” He’d just follow her to work from there. Hoping she’d stay safe at the newsroom, he said, “I’ll be by tonight, and we can go to dinner.” Meaning that he’d be there when she left work because he didn’t want her to be vulnerable.

  “Trent, you don’t need to do that.”

  “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve always gone out to eat together on Thursday night.” That excuse had popped into his head, and thankfully it had because it didn’t allow her to argue without seeming as if she was putting a wedge in their friendship.

  His kiss had already placed that divide. Repairing any breach in their relationship was his goal. Kelly belonged in his life, even if she married someone else. He almost doubled over with the pain that lanced through him at the thought. Damn. It’d only been a kiss. A fucking mind-blowing one, but still, just a kiss.

  “Okay, but no more proposing,” she said firmly.

  “No more proposing,” he agreed. Something inside him broke, and he knew he had a lot to work through before it could happen, but he had to have her and the baby as his. Under his breath, he added, “For now.”

  THE NEXT EVENING, Kelly strolled beside Trent wondering why he’d followed her to and from work. Maybe he thought she wouldn’t notice, but his big, noisy Harley stood out. It did to her, but she also looked for him every time she noticed a motorcycle. There was probably a psychological term for that, but she never felt being a bit obsessive about the man she loved was a bad thing.

  But his following her, while any other time she’d have been overjoyed, today, she worried. She couldn’t decide if he thought she was in danger, which drove her nerves into a frenzy and had made her jumpy, or if it was some possessive thing after the haphazard proposal, that she’d oh-so-wanted to accept. And her reasoning for declining made her the world’s biggest hypocrite, and she was damn lucky Trent hadn’t called her on it. At the time, he probably hadn’t realized it, like she hadn’t.

  She hadn’t been in love with Brian and had been willing to marry him, yet, she’d demanded Trent not only love her, but be in love with her before she’d marry him. She wanted to bury her face in her hands at the absurdity of her requirement to wed the man she loved with all her heart.

  Why? she wanted to cry out. Why couldn’t she have gotten it together and just said yes? It was what she’d wanted for longer than she liked to remember.

  Yet, she’d held back with Trent, and he probably held as much love for her as she did for Brian. She just wanted him to be in love with her like she was with him. It was stupid compared to her past decision about marriage, but it was what her mind and heart chose for her reality.

  Plus, there was Jamie. Had he rebounded so quickly or was she a poor substitute?

  And that kiss….

  It didn’t matter because he hadn’t really meant it. She’d noticed his surprise when he’d asked her. As if it had occurred by accident. It hadn’t been a thought-out decision, so she knew he’d regret it when he considered the ramifications of marrying her. Heck, the kiss had probably been a fluke, spur of the moment. He hadn’t tried to kiss her again this morning, so it couldn’t have been that good for him.

  A small sigh escaped past her lips. A life with Trent was her heart’s desire. Having little boys and girls that belonged to the two of them filled her romantic fantasies. And saying no to his proposal had squashed that fantasy.

  “Are you okay?” Trent slid his gloved hand into hers.

  The touch, even through the material of their combined gloves, sent a jolt of electricity through her, leaving behind a tantalizing tingle that awakened her senses.

  When she made to pull away, he held tight. “Don’t make it awkward, Kelly. I held your hand before the kiss.” He squeezed her palm. “Now, I heard that sigh. Are you okay?”

  True they’d walked hand-in-hand before, but that proposal and kiss had changed so much. At least it had with her. He appeared unaffected and that almost destroyed the hope she’d always carried for them. She couldn’t blame him because she was the one who’d crushed all hope by saying no.

  He briefly squeezed her hand again, reminding her of his question. As for his asking if she was okay, the question was too open-ended. Okay about what? Being a single mother? Being in love with someone who didn’t love her back? Being a hypocrite about marriage? Almost getting run down by a car? Just life in general? Deciding it best to lie instead of getting into a debate on the sidewalk or making things any more tense than they were, she turned to him and smiled. “I’m fine.”

  After a right turn onto Thames Street, Trent laughed, and joy flooded her. She feared he’d never laugh this heartily again, or at least for a long time, after all he’d gone through—the family thing, the bombing and losing the love of his life to cancer—and how hard he’d taken it. That alone made the sound the most beautiful she’d ever heard. “I know what fine means.” Before her temper could rise, he asked, “John Steven’s tonight?”

  Of course he’d picked her favorite restaurant. “Fine,” she answered with purposeful irritation. He thinks he’s such a smarty-pants. Let him figure that fine out. She almost laughed out loud at the juvenileness of it.

  “Touché.” He dropped her hand and opened the door to the restaurant. With the crowd, she wondered about their getting a table until she realized he’d made
a reservation. What if she’d said no? She almost shook her head. That wouldn’t have happened. Damn if he didn’t know her too well.

  They were seated, and the waiter seemed put out they ordered nonalcoholic drinks. Maybe the man hadn’t seen her belly. With his being close to seven feet tall, he probably didn’t see past her swollen breasts.

  Drinks delivered and food ordered, Kelly decided it best to go on the offensive and keep all talk away from the two of them or of her and Brian. “When are you going to tell me about your being a Hamilton?”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “According to Megan—who told me and not you,” she accused, “you are actually Senator Hamilton’s son. Odd how that has stayed secret with a growing number of people who know.” She chuckled at the absurdity of it. “Including two journalists.” Their love and respect for the Hamilton family kept her and Megan from exploiting it. Sometime soon, though, she worried, someone outside this family will.

  “That’s what I want splashed across the papers—Trent McKenzie, illegitimate child of Senator Blake Hamilton.” Shaking his head, he added, “Being a bastard child in private is bad enough.”

  “Trent,” she whispered, not knowing what to say. He hadn’t reacted like she’d thought. Why wouldn’t he be happy since he loved that family so much?

  “Part of why I left was because my brothers smothered me in welcoming me to the family, but mostly though, it was because of him. He wanted to get to know me better. Like I needed a new father just because mine was dead.” Anger radiated off him in waves, and she almost had to sit back at the potency of it.

  Since the subject of Blake garnered such hostility, she went back to what should be a good thing because they’d been buddies since they were small. “How are things with your brothers?”