Players (Lessons by Loki)

by Ross, Aubrey

  “Fine.” She huffed and entered the chaotic room.

  A small group of scrub-clad workers vacated a table in one corner of the eating area. “Go grab that table before someone else does. I’ll meet you there.” Vanessa nodded and turned to obey. “Do you want anything to eat?” It was a stupid question. What little Vanessa ate obviously didn’t come from a cafeteria.

  “An ice tea would be lovely.”

  “I’ll be right back.” The cafeteria personnel were used to the midday rush, so the line moved quickly. Katie chose a premade sandwich from the cooler to speed the process even more.

  “Is it always like this?” Vanessa wrinkled her nose as Katie set down the food-laden tray and slid onto the opposite chair.

  After handing Vanessa her ice tea, Katie pulled the tray closer. “So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” As if she didn’t know. The only thing they had in common was Chase. And he was far less of a commonality than Vanessa realized.

  “That was quite a show you put on the other night.” Her tone was filled with scorn.

  “You came all this way to scold me?” She picked up her sandwich, but paused before she took a bite. “Message delivered. Now leave so I can enjoy my lunch.”

  “I came to warn you.” Vanessa scooted her chair closer to the table and lowered her voice as much as possible. “They seem kind and charming on the surface, but they’re not. They’re both cold and selfish.”

  Katie froze, sandwich still in hand. Did Vanessa know about their bets? Had one of her friends been the target of these cruel games? “I’m down to fifteen minutes. You need to get to the point.”

  “They toy with people for their own amusement.”

  “That sounds ominous. Can you be a little more specific?”

  Her chest rose and fell then her gaze narrowed. “Before Chase met me, he and Josiah used to wager on potential lovers. They’d mutually agree upon a target, then bet on who could seduce them first.”

  “What does this have to do with me?” Carefully setting down her sandwich, she slipped her hands under the table. She was shaking and she didn’t want to give herself away.

  Vanessa’s delicate brows arched in silent challenge. “You’re a smart girl. I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out. I’m pretty sure you are their current target.”

  “Which means it would take a bet to make me desirable?” She sounded remarkably calm when inside she was dying. “Do you realize how arrogant you sound?”

  “I’m trying to protect you, not embarrass you. They moved in, what four or five years ago. Why the sudden interest in—”

  “Someone like me?” Anger burned through her humiliation as she frantically blinked back tears. “Thanks for stopping by. You’re always such a joy.” She stood, but Vanessa grabbed her wrist.

  “Do you know why we broke up?”

  “I didn’t know we were together.” Rather than make a scene, Katie eased her arm out of Vanessa’s grip and returned to her chair. Then she picked up her sandwich and took a bite while Vanessa glared at her.

  “I meant me and Chase and you know it.”

  Unwilling to prolong the pointless conversation, Katie took the wind out of Vanessa’s sails. “You asked Chase to stop sleeping with Josiah and even though he did, you couldn’t deal with the fact that it had happened at all or that it might happen again.”

  Vanessa’s eyes widened and her hostility melted into something murky and sad. “You don’t care that your lover is sleeping with another man?” She whispered the last with obvious distaste.

  Katie wiped her mouth with a paper napkin. Neither man was technically her lover, but getting into the details of their convoluted interaction would have been counterproductive to the conversation. “Does it bother you that he’s intimate with someone else or that the other person is male?”

  “Both. I shouldn’t have to share him.” Vanessa’s chin came up and she shifted to the side so she could cross her legs. And what legs they were, ridiculously long and well-toned, accented by her high heels.

  Suddenly Katie felt fat and dowdy. “That’s unfortunate because Chase is still in love with you.”

  Vanessa didn’t have a clever response to that. “Then why are you with him?”

  “I’m not ‘with’ him. I went to a party with him. I enjoy spending time with him, but we aren’t even lovers, yet. Unless you count what happened in the parking lot and that was mostly for your benefit.”

  “You said ‘yet’, meaning you’ll sleep with him if he wants you to? Don’t you care that you’re likely the victim of their favorite game?”

  “I’m nobody’s victim.” She wanted to tell Vanessa that she knew about the bet and she was only flirting with them so they could learn what it felt like to be toyed with. Unfortunately, she didn’t trust Vanessa to keep her mouth shut. “If what you say is true—and I’m not convinced it is—they’ve targeted the wrong lover.” And that was all Vanessa needed to know.

  “Then you’ll stop seeing him?” Her features radiated hope.

  “Why do you care? You broke up with him.”

  “You didn’t answer my question before. Are you attracted to Chase?”

  Vanessa’s irrational possessiveness made Katie dig in her heels. Her lunch break was almost over. She should just walk away, but she lingered on principle. She might have ulterior motives for her involvement in the situation. That didn’t keep Vanessa’s attitude from chaffing. “I’m attracted to Chase. I’m also attracted to Josiah. The difference is, I don’t see why any of us needs to choose one over the other. I’m capable of loving more than one person and so are they. What I won’t tolerate is lies and deceit.” She meant every word, but the irony was heartrending. Her entire relationship with Josiah and Chase revolved around lies and deceit.

  “Oh my God.” Vanessa pressed her hand to her throat, looking genuinely horrified. “You’re one of those swingers.”

  Katie chuckled. Was it possible Vanessa was even more prudish than Katie had been before her exploration began? “I’m not into labels. I think people should be allowed to love whomever they choose, in whatever combination they desire, as long as they are all open and honest with each other and everyone involved is a consenting adult.”

  “What about STDs?”

  Katie rolled her eyes at the tired excuse. Sex, in any form, required responsibility, but too many people used the health risks as a scare tactic, hoping to convert others to their moral code. “Ever heard of a condom?” When Vanessa didn’t reply, Katie pushed even harder. “Would you be worried about STDs if Chase’s lover were female?”

  “I already admitted that the gay thing bothers me more than the cheating. All right. Just drop it.” Vanessa finally took a sip of her ice tea, but her gaze was filled with questions not recrimination. “Why did you tell me Chase still loves me if you want him for yourself?”

  “The most pointless lie of all is the one we tell ourselves. Chase might be attracted to me, but he’s in love with you. It’s obvious every time he looks at you.”

  Leaning halfway across the table, Vanessa sneered. “That didn’t keep him from unzipping his pants and shoving his dick into your mouth, now did it?”

  Katie tensed, tired of Vanessa’s superiority. “You dumped him, Vanessa. You can’t tell a man you’re finished with him and still expect him not to touch anyone else. Life doesn’t work that way.” When Vanessa only nursed her tea and sulked, Katie asked, “If he’s such a horrible person and you don’t want him anymore, why are you here?”

  “I never said I didn’t want him.” She set down the tea and sighed. “I just can’t live like you do.”

  The barb should have stung, but it didn’t. If she honestly believed that everyone was entitled to their own boundaries, then she had to allow Vanessa hers. “Did Chase ever so much as hint that he wanted you to be open to other lovers?”

  “No, he just wants the freedom to fuck Josiah.” Her voice barely penetrated the den surrounding them.

  “Why are you so t
hreatened by Chase’s need for Josiah? They’ve known each other for years and have been intimate off and on since college. Technically, Josiah is being forced to share Chase with you.”

  “If they’re so happy together, why did Chase go out with me?” Her brows arched, accenting the challenge in her question.

  So the world would see that he’d landed the perfect wife. Vanessa was the ideal most women aspired to become and a trophy most men would covet. Katie kept the conclusion to herself. Instead, she softened the terms without abandoning the meaning. “Chase is still struggling with the complexities of his nature. He wants a traditional family, a wife and biological children, but he loves Josiah.”

  “He can’t have both,” Vanessa snapped. “Life doesn’t work that way.” She seemed really happy to throw Katie’s words back in her face.

  What a bitch! “I disagree. It’s been that way for a very long time, but that doesn’t make it right. You want Chase to be faithful to you. I understand that. Do you realize he never touched another person the entire time you were together? He loved you enough to shut it all down.”

  Vanessa’s brows drew together as she digested the claim. “He told you that?”

  “No, Josiah did and he has no reason to lie about it.” Katie hadn’t set out to feed Vanessa’s ego. Lord knew, it didn’t need the help. Unfortunately, everything she said seemed to shine a light on Vanessa’s power over Chase.

  “He wasn’t satisfied. He might have been faithful, but he was pining away for Josiah.”

  “Why can’t he love you both?” Vanessa just shook her head and looked away, which made Katie even more determined to make her point. “They aren’t subtle about their affection. You had to have realized they were lovers before you started dating Chase.”

  “We agreed that he would no longer indulge those impulses.”

  Like she’d “agreed” to all of Dillon’s expectations. Chase wanted the illusion, had tried to deny his true nature and conform to society’s concept of love. “He can’t just turn it off. It’s hardwired into his physiology.”

  Unfazed by facts, Vanessa huffed, “Loving me should have been enough to make him happy.”

  Yeah, there was no arrogance in that statement. Katie took a deep breath. Part of her really wanted to unload on Vanessa, to point out all of the needless pain caused by her stubbornness. But beneath the cold absolutes, Katie could see Vanessa’s pain. She honestly didn’t understand why she was unable to make Chase happy. With her looks and her wealth, she should have been enough for any man.

  “You decided not to ‘indulge those impulses’ when you broke up with Chase. How’s that working out for you?”

  “It’s not that easy to shut off real emotion.”

  Anger eroded her momentary compassion. Katie had heard it all before. Homosexuality was a “choice”, a “lifestyle”. She nearly asked when Vanessa had decided to be heterosexual, but that was a fight for another day. Pushing away her tray, Katie folded her arms. “You don’t think what Chase feels for Josiah is real?”

  “It might be real but it’s not…natural.”

  Katie had heard enough. If Vanessa actually believed this nonsense, arguing with her was a waste of time. She pushed back her chair and started to stand, but Vanessa caught her wrist again. “Let. Go.” If they’d been in a bar, Katie would have decked her. She’d been more than patient. Enough was enough.

  “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”

  Vanessa’s mask slipped and for a moment Katie saw the insecure, utterly dejected woman Vanessa had become. Katie sank back onto her chair with a frustrated sigh.

  “I don’t know how to deal with this,” Vanessa went on. “I’ve never fallen for anyone as hard as I fell for Chase. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. He honestly seemed perfect.”

  “Chase isn’t perfect. None of us are. He loves you and his love for Josiah doesn’t have to compromise what he feels for you.” She spread her hands and shrugged. “Or you can find somebody who is a lot less complicated. There are plenty of men out there who only want one lover.” Or say they do. Katie knew examples of successful monogamy existed; just none of them seemed to be in her generation. Chase’s parents lived happily ever after. And the only force strong enough to end one of her mother’s relationships had been death.

  “None of them are Chase. I want him.”

  Vanessa was starting to sound whiney again, so Katie didn’t let the comment slide. “And Chase needs Josiah. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

  Vanessa’s shoulders slumped and she stared into her tea. She looked so devastated Katie actually felt sorry for her. “I can insist on his fidelity and he’ll resent me for being so selfish or I can turn a blind eye to the fact that he has another lover? What kind of a choice is that?”

  “An honest and realistic one.” She waited until Vanessa looked at her again before she said, “My fiancé cheated on me twice. The first time made me furious and almost ended the relationship. I told him I wasn’t encouraging him to cheat, but I would rather know in advance if he were tempted by someone again.”

  Suddenly still and thoughtful, Vanessa seemed to contemplate the outcomes of such a situation. “Did he tell you the second time around?”

  “No. He sneaked around and lied to my face, broke his promise and betrayed me. That hurt far worse than the actual cheating. I wanted him to be open and honest with me. I probably would have accepted his choice if he’d included me in the decision. His flirtations never lasted long and I understood why they happened.”

  “Because he didn’t really love you?”

  She’d thought, even hoped, that Vanessa’s shallowness was an act. Apparently, no artifice was needed. “His weakness was no reflection on me. He was an insecure affirmation junkie. His vanity required occasional infusions of adoration from some meaningless bit of fluff. He toyed with them for a few weeks and then lost interest. The bimbos meant nothing to him, so why should they mean anything to me?”

  “But that’s not what’s going on with Chase. He cares deeply for Josiah.”

  “True. He also cares deeply for you.”

  Vanessa shook her head and glanced off into the distance. “I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.” Then she seemed lost in thought as if she was wrestling with the possibilities. “All I know is I’m miserable without him.”

  “Talk to him. I’m not guaranteeing you can find a common ground, but you definitely won’t if you don’t start looking for one.”

  “If this ‘common ground’ includes cheating, I’m not interested.” She pushed to her feet and smoothed down her skirt. “I’m worth more than half of his heart. Let me know who wins the bet.”

  Katie watched her walk across the cafeteria, head held high, heels tapping out her determination. Heads turned and conversations hushed in the wake of her progress. Katie had never seen anything like it. Vanessa commanded attention. It was easy to understand why Chase was so captivated by her. Vanessa was the proverbial classy bitch. The conclusion made Katie smile. Emphasis on bitch.

  The rest of the day was as manic as the morning, so Katie was on her way home before she thought of Vanessa again. The parallels between Vanessa and Dillon were inescapable. They both wanted love, but only on their own terms. They each had very specific ideas of what love looked like and when the person they were involved with hadn’t lived up to that ideal, they insisted on changes. While being unwilling to change themselves.

  And that unwillingness was the heart of the problem. Katie believed in compromise, knew any long-term relationship was impossible without a lot of give and take. Dillon hadn’t only expected her to morph into his perfect wife, he’d also been utterly uninterested in smoothing the aspects of his personality that she found abrasive. His infidelity was the perfect example. He’d expected her to turn a blind eye to his affairs, yet he insisted she remain faithful. In the end, the hypocrisy and deceit had figured prominently in her decision to kick him out. If she couldn’t be honest and open
with her life partner, or partners, she’d simply live alone.

  Vanessa seemed to be cut from the same cloth as Dillon. She expected the rest of the world to adopt her moral standards with no exceptions and no compromise. And the sad thing was Chase had tried. He’d shut himself off from the other people in his life and focused entirely on Vanessa. Even then Vanessa had been insecure and jealous, seeing betrayals where there had been none.

  The only bright spot in the dismal meeting had been Vanessa’s cruel warning that Katie was the target of their game. When she was ready to confront them about their behavior, she now had an explanation for how she’d learned about the bet. After all, she couldn’t tell them Loki had been responsible for their lesson.

  Katie was so distracted that she pulled into Josiah’s driveway rather than her own. They had a three-car garage, so she had no way of knowing if Chase was home or not unless she knocked on the front door. It was so strange, in this age of technology, but she didn’t have a phone number for either of them. A detail she should probably correct if she intended to continue with her “lessons”.

  No doubt she looked a mess, but this wasn’t about flirting or sexual exploration. She’d go home and shower before her appointment with Josiah. Right now she wanted to talk with Chase.

  Emboldened by determination, shoved her purse under the seat and locked the car so she wouldn’t have to keep track of anything but her keys. She walked to the front door and rang the bell, quickly smoothing back her hair as she waited for a response.

  Josiah pulled the door open, clearly confused by her visit.

  “Is Chase here?” she asked before Josiah could remind her that their appointment wasn’t until eight.

  Displeasure narrowed his gaze, but he stepped aside and let the door swing inward. He turned his head and hollered, “Chase! You have a visitor.”

  She heard a door open and then Chase ambled down the railed hallway visible from the foyer. “Hey.” He finger-combed his hair back from his face and descended to the main level.

  “Are we still on for tonight?” Josiah asked before Chase reached them.