Practicing Parenthood

by Cara Lockwood

  “You are the most control freaky of control freaks.” Teddy wriggled, trying to get loose, so she set him down. He immediately trotted off, sniffing under the dining room table for crumbs.

  “I am not.”

  “You are. Who proposes to a woman and doesn’t tell her he plans to move to Miami? Except one who just assumes when he says ‘jump’ everyone else says, ‘how high’?” Madison crossed the room and headed to the kitchen, where she poured herself a glass of water.

  “One who knows that the common sense move is for you to come to Miami with me.” Collin followed on her heels.

  “Why? Because your career is more important than mine?” She whirled at him from the sink, still clutching her glass of water.

  “No, because—” But Collin didn’t get to finish.

  Just then, Teddy jumped on the couch in the living room, surprising them both. “Off the furniture!” he shouted and the dog jumped down in fright.

  “See? Control freak.”

  “I just don’t want dog hair on the couch. And at least this time he listened to me.”

  “Only because you bellowed at him. He has no idea what you’re saying.”

  “No, but he knows I’m mad.”

  “Anyway,” Madison said, setting her empty water glass on the counter, “he’s a golden doodle. Part poodle. They don’t shed.” She knelt by the puppy and scratched him behind the ears.

  “Technicalities,” Collin joked. He eyed the puppy, who was still hiding beneath a dining room chair.

  Madison laughed. “How about this... I’ll feel more if you let loose a bit.”

  “Like how?”

  “Like allowing Teddy to sit on that couch. It’s not even your couch.”

  “But that’s even more reason why he shouldn’t sit on it.”

  “He won’t hurt it,” Madison argued.

  Collin’s face looked pinched and uncomfortable. “I don’t know...” Madison stared at him expectantly. “Fine, but just five minutes.”

  She put Teddy on the couch and watched as Collin squirmed. Having the dog on the furniture did push all his buttons...

  “How long has it been?”

  Madison glanced at the stopwatch on her phone. “Twenty seconds.”

  “Argh,” Collin said, grinding his teeth.

  “Thirty,” Madison called out. Teddy walked in a little circle on the couch and then sat down, making Collin flinch. “Forty,” Madison said, eye still on the phone.

  Then, Teddy raised one paw and began cleaning himself with his tongue.

  “Nope, no way, that’s it.” Collin, unable to make the full five minutes, stomped over to the couch and shooed the dog off. Teddy jumped down and scurried over to the corner. Still, presumably feeling bad, Collin bent down to scratch the pup behind his ears. Teddy perked up instantly.

  “You’ve got a soft spot,” Madison said. “Admit it.”

  “Absolutely not,” he declared, but he was still scratching Teddy’s ears.

  * * *

  THE NEXT DAY, Madison put Collin to work building a makeshift fence in the yard so they could easily let Teddy in and out without having to keep him on his leash. Since they had to take him outside every hour, the schedule was exhausting them both. Next door, the police officers were dressed in vacation mode with board shorts and T-shirts, but their clothes didn’t hide the bulk beneath or the guns strapped to their belts. Guns always made Madison nervous, even on the bailiffs in the courtroom, but now it felt that much more disconcerting. Sure, she was glad Collin had one, kept inside the bedside table drawer, but she definitely never wanted to have to use it herself. Besides, the guns reminded her that she was the one who needed protecting at that moment. Madison stood on the deck looking down on the green space between the two homes. She saw Collin walking around the yard, carrying a big roll of chain link fence for their temporary dog run. Mark nodded at Collin as he passed by.

  Mark saw Madison and raised his coffee mug. Madison returned the salute with her own mug filled with green tea. She went back inside, glad Mark was there but also hating the constant reminder—Jimmy Reese was out there, and he was angry. Very, very angry. The toaster oven dinged, announcing her breakfast was ready and she sauntered over to retrieve her warm English muffin. She buttered it, all the while watching Collin out the kitchen window. He’d been on a mission to get the dog run built that morning, calling Yvana, having her clear it with the owners who, as it turned out, didn’t care about what temporary fencing they put up in the yard. Collin had insisted on getting it done immediately and it was hard to argue with him. Once he got an idea in his head, it stuck. He was controlling, stubborn and downright infuriating at times.

  Like him deciding that his new job in Miami was more important than hers.

  Madison sat at the kitchen breakfast bar and tried not to think about the time when Collin would have to start his new job in Miami. She still couldn’t believe he’d left that little tidbit out. She sighed, feeling the weight of the impossible decision before her.

  Would she really give up everything she’d worked so hard for, everything she’d built, just to follow Collin to Miami? What if their marriage didn’t work, like so many relationships that were rushed to commitment too soon. The statistics—and she’d looked them up—were grim. Divorce rates were already high, higher still for couples who didn’t know each other well when they tied the knot. Especially those who were getting married for a baby, not for each other.

  Yes, she’d accidentally let it slip that she loved Collin. But did it count if she said it in the middle of a...delicate moment? She didn’t even know if she’d meant it. She had while she was in the storm of passion, but now? Did she really love this man? Or was she simply trying to make it work for the baby’s sake? Maybe she didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he was trying hard, too. Would either of them be working to create a relationship if there wasn’t a baby in the picture? She didn’t think so. And wasn’t that the wrong reason to be together?

  Madison rubbed her still-flat stomach as she watched Collin hammer in a fence post in a corner of the yard. She might not be showing, but she seemed to be retaining everything she ate. The waistband of her shorts felt a little tighter, and she was feeling bloated. She thought about all the women in the courtroom who made eyes at Collin Baptista and, hell, some of the women who’d slept with him. Would she be able to keep his attention when she had a huge belly? Somehow, she just knew she wasn’t going to be one of those adorable pregnant women who looked like they were carrying a basketball under their shirts. She’d be a bloated monster with three double chins.

  She sighed, already feeling hungry, even though they’d just had breakfast. Teddy whined at her feet and put a paw against her bare instep. He must be hungry, too.

  “You want to eat all the time, too, don’t you, boy?” He was adorable—big brown eyes, clumsy puppy paws, soft yellow fur. “You probably are getting by on your looks, aren’t you? Well, in your case, it’s a brilliant strategy.”

  She studied Teddy, wondering if Collin would be all right with the dog coming to Miami—if she agreed to go. A puppy and a baby, talk about a lot of new guests. Then she wondered what it would be like to go to sleep with Collin every night and wake up with him every day. She could get used to the idea of this man in her bed, and his mesmerizing green eyes watching her over breakfast, and yet...was she just being a fool? Could he be faithful to her? Would he? Did he love her or had he just been parroting what she’d said right back at her? Collin could have any woman he wanted, so why her?

  And if she moved in with him, she’d be giving up more than her heart, risking more than her pride. She’d always taken care of herself and paid her own bills. If she moved to Miami, she’d be jobless, friendless. She’d need to rely on Collin, at first anyway. Was she ready to do that? Did she trust him to follow through on his promises?

  She watched
him work in the backyard and almost laughed. Collin was a Boy Scout, a do-gooder, a right-is-always-right prosecutor. She knew that on some level he’d keep his promises. If he vowed to marry her, he would. If he vowed to pay the bills, he would. When he promised to present evidence to a jury he always delivered. He prided himself on keeping his promises, but so far, he’d only promised her his name if she wanted to take it. His protection. His support. He hadn’t promised her his love.

  Would she be willing to move to Miami for the sake of security? Didn’t she want more than that, both for herself and her baby?

  She could insist on not marrying him. She could stay in Fort Myers. But her apartment was tiny. She’d need a new place, for Teddy and for the baby.

  Maybe a new house in Miami. Madison was still watching Collin work, shirtless and in board shorts, sweat glistening on his tanned arms. He carried the metal posts around as if they weighed nothing. Seeing him work made her own resolve start to melt away. He had a truly unparalleled physique, no doubt about that. Hardly surprising that nearly every woman in the courthouse noticed him.

  He was handsome and sexy and strong. He made a wonderful lover... But would he make an equally wonderful dad? He didn’t always have much patience, his snapping at Teddy was proof of that. He’d even wanted to give Teddy up when things got a bit tough. But, she reasoned, now he seemed to be on board with keeping him. He was putting up the fence after all, and the sweat dripping down his temples told her just how hard he was working. She had to admit, she wouldn’t be sorry to go to bed with that every night. She absently fanned her face, glancing back at the dishes that she was supposed to be washing. She ought to get to work. She reluctantly trudged to the sink when the doorbell rang. At first, she tensed, remembering Jimmy on the loose, but as soon as she looked out the glass front door, she saw Yvana standing there, waving. Instantly, Madison relaxed.

  She trotted to the door and opened it. Yvana breezed through, wearing her uniform of club polo shirt and khaki shorts and sandals.

  “How y’all doing? Dog driven you crazy yet?”

  “He’s trying,” Madison said as she nudged the puppy back behind the door. He gave a short sharp bark and tried to run outside between her legs. “Come on in.”

  Teddy jumped up to greet Yvana, skidding on the floor and nearly toppling over.

  “That little guy is all paws,” Yvana said, reaching down to pet him as he jumped up on her legs.

  “Down, boy. Down.” Madison pushed Teddy away but he wagged his tail happily as Yvana petted him. That was when Madison looked up and saw Collin out the back window, muscles bulging as he swung the mallet and hit a fence post. God, the man was sexy. Beyond sexy. Walking around without a shirt on made him practically X-rated. Collin met her gaze and she smiled. He flashed a tired grin in her direction and waved at Yvana as he swiped at the sweat on his brow. She felt her own internal temperature rise.

  “Oooh, my lordie,” Yvana said, fanning her face. “He’s one handsome man. Is it hot in here or is it just me?” She tugged at her shirt collar and that made Madison laugh.

  “Oh, it’s hot in here, all right,” she agreed.

  Yvana looked beyond Collin and saw one of the police officers, Mark, sitting on the porch of Uncle Rashad’s cottage, pretending to read a paper. “But not as hot as that other delicious man over there. Mmm, hmm.” Yvana gave the officer an approving look. Mark, feeling her gaze, glanced up and sent her a guarded smile. Yvana waved at him and clucked her tongue. “Oh, yes, indeed. Yvana likes.”

  Madison couldn’t help giggling a little. Yvana was never shy about her tastes. She’d been divorced for the better part of a decade now.

  “I wouldn’t mind that man watching me day and night.” Mark went back to reading his newspaper, or pretending to. Yvana stared at him a moment longer, then turned her attention back to Madison. “How are you holding up, sugar?”

  “I’m okay,” Madison said. “I mean, they’re watching us all the time.”

  “You really think that crazy man will come all the way here looking for you?” Yvana looked worried.

  “I hope not,” she said. “He’s a...well, just a nasty dude.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to tell me about those neo-Nazi freaks.” Yvana shook her head as she adjusted her bracelets. “What I don’t get is why they claim to be patriotic when they’ve got swastika tattoos and Confederate flags on their trucks. Didn’t we fight the Nazis in World War II? How is that patriotic, exactly?”

  Madison nodded. “They just fear what’s different, I guess.”

  “Well, what this Jimmy Reese guy should fear is prison.”

  Madison couldn’t agree more. “Here’s hoping he gets back there sooner rather than later.”

  “Amen, sister.” Teddy trotted up to Yvana then and sniffed at her brightly painted toes. She bent down and gave his head another pat.

  “You officially adopted him?” she asked.

  “Well, Collin said we should wait since the owner might want to claim him.”

  “Oh, I don’t think there’s any worry about that.” Yvana made a face at the puppy.

  “Why do you say that?”

  Yvana glanced up sharply. “I mean, we would’ve heard by now.” She grinned, and Madison got the impression she might not be telling the whole truth.

  “What do you—” But she didn’t get to finish, because Yvana let out an appreciative whistle as she watched Mark drink coffee on the porch at the other house.

  “I might just move in with you and bring a pair of binoculars.” Yvana chuckled to herself and Madison couldn’t help joining in.

  “You’re shameless,” Madison said, the weirdness about Teddy all but forgotten.

  “Oh, child, you have no idea.” Yvana wiggled her eyebrows, making Madison giggle once more. “But I do have a reason for calling, other than to spy on Danny Glover over there.”

  “Yes?”

  “I need your help. Yours and Collin’s. You think you could spare an hour or two?”

  “Sure. What do you need?”

  “Got an older couple getting married, and I need you two to give me a hand getting the reception ready. Had two staffers miss the ferry this afternoon!” Yvana shook her head in disapproval, her big hoop earrings swaying from side to side. “Can’t find good help these days! Not that I blame them for ditching work. Wedding season is the worst. And did I mention how much I hate wedding season?”

  “You might’ve said that once or twice.” Madison grinned. Yvana’s hatred for the summer months was well known. People from all over descended on North Captiva, thinking it would be a wonderful spot for a wedding—which it was—but it also meant a whole lot more work and headaches, which Yvana made clear she could do without.

  “Sure thing, Yvana. We’ll be there.”

  * * *

  “YOU’RE TOO NICE,” Collin told Madison about a half hour later as he drove them both to the clubhouse. They were followed by Mark and Steve, who, in honor of the wedding, had swapped their T-shirts for plaid button-up shirts that they wore untucked to try to hide the guns on their belts. Collin had put on his shirt, a plain blue polo.

  “I just want to help. Yvana’s in a tight spot, and...”

  “Like I said, too nice.” Collin flashed a grin at her, his eyes darting back to the sandy path ahead of them. He took the turn around the lagoon a little hard and she held on to her seat. “But it’s one of the many things I love about you.” He reached out and grabbed her hand and held it, keeping his other hand on the golf cart’s steering wheel.

  There it was. The L word again. She wasn’t sure how comfortable she felt saying it, just anytime, anywhere. And that made her worry she might only want to make that proclamation when they were both naked.

  “Yvana’s been good to me, and I owe her many favors. You wouldn’t believe the trouble I used to get into on this island.”

&nbs
p; “You? Trouble?” Collin’s sarcasm came through loud and clear. “I can’t believe that.”

  “Yeah, when I was nine, I stole a golf cart once. Just to go driving it around. Yvana caught me, but she didn’t tell my uncle or my mom. Thank goodness. Or they would’ve grounded me for a month.” Madison laughed, remembering her young, impetuous self. The summer she turned ten, she’d decided none of the rules applied to her anymore.

  Collin laughed. He had an easy command about him that she found herself admiring.

  “You can’t be serious. You carjacked a golf cart! That’s a felony, counselor.” The way he said it sounded like he was a cop pulling her over for speeding. His mirrored sunglasses added to the effect. He looked commanding, handsome, in control. As much as she hated his control-freak nature, she had to admit, it also attracted her.

  “Hardly. The keys were in it. The cart belonged to the club, and Yvana didn’t press charges.” The sun above them broke free of the clouds and Madison squinted against the glare. She dug around in her purse for her sunglasses and put them on.

  “She should have! Little hooligan,” Collin teased. She still wasn’t used to seeing this playful side of him, the man who had a sense of humor, who let his guard down. She liked this Collin.

  “You more attracted to me now that you know I have a criminal record? I’m a bad girl.” The sunglasses threatened to slide down her nose and she pushed them up with a finger.

  Collin sent her a flirting sidelong glance, casually steering the golf cart with one hand. “Oh, I already know you’re a bad girl. In bed.”

  She giggled at that, as Collin reached over and squeezed her bare knee. Madison felt her cheeks grow warm. She liked this—him driving, her in the passenger seat, his hand on her leg.

  Would it be like this even after the baby came? Madison wondered. Would they still flirt like this?

  “We’re going to be in trouble if you have a girl,” Collin declared, as he took the right turn at the fork, to the path that skirted the tennis courts and the pool.