Falling for Hadie

by Komal Kant

  My eyes wandered around the diner and fell on the blonde-haired guy sitting on the opposite end of the room. He was staring at me like he wanted to punch me in the face, and that’s when I recognized him.

  It was Hadie’s ex-boyfriend.

  What the hell was he doing here? Why was he here by himself at a time when the diner was practically deserted? Were he and Hadie trying to work things out? Had she forgiven him for all the things he’d done? Was she really that naïve?

  Hadie walked back out holding a notepad and pen in her hand. She gave us a tight smile when she got to our table. “Are you ready to order?”

  Dad gave his order of a medium-rare steak with fries, and Hadie turned to me expectantly, chewing on her bottom lip.

  God, I wanted to chew on that lip myself. She was so beautiful, so hard for me to take my eyes off, but I didn’t know what the deal with her and her ex was. He sounded like the douchebag of the century, but I didn’t want to step into his territory if there was something going on with Hadie and him.

  “What is he doing here?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

  Hadie stared at me in surprise and then her forehead creased. “What everyone else comes to do here, obviously?”

  I eyed her skeptically, hating the jealous monster that was building up in my chest and threatening to burst out. “So then why is he by himself? Doesn’t it seem a little strange that he decided to come here on a day that you’re working?”

  “I don’t know, Lincoln,” Hadie said, her gaze steely. “I don’t think it’s any stranger than someone coming in here and acting like they don’t know me.”

  Her words were like a slap in the face, and I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that I was wrong to treat her like that. Then I wanted to kiss her on that pretty mouth of hers and…

  No, that was a little too weird and creepy. We’d only just become friends and I didn’t want to cross any boundaries. Besides, I had totally screwed up any progress that we’d made by acting like a jerk towards her.

  “Can I just get a salad and a bottle of water?” I asked, staring down at the table.

  Hadie seemed confused, whether by my order or my behavior I wasn’t sure. I just knew that I was just as douchey as that Bennett guy was. Hadie deserved better. She didn’t deserve someone with my unpredictable mood swings. I mean, most of the time I was in a good mood, but sometimes everything just got to me.

  “Fine,” she snapped, taking our menus from us before storming across the diner and disappearing into the kitchen.

  Wow, she was really pissed at me and I totally understood why. I couldn’t blame her when it was clearly my fault. Seeing her ex-boyfriend here had worsened my mood.

  “So, just some girly drama, huh?” Dad asked as he leaned back in the padded booth.

  I gave him a non-committal shrug, not really in the mood to discuss Hadie with him. He would never get it; never understand how I felt about her.

  “If your mom hears about this, she is not going to be happy, Lincoln,” Dad warned. “She’s not going to like you wasting your time on some girl.”

  Rage shot through me and I slammed my fist down on the table, drawing the attention of Bennett and the girl at the front counter. “She’s not some girl! Her name is Hadie and I happen to care about her. A lot. And I couldn’t give a damn what Mom thinks!”

  Dad leaned in close and shot me a look of disapproval. “Lincoln, I know you and your mother don’t get along at the best of times, but she has a point. This girl, Hadie, doesn’t know about you. You’re only going to end up hurting her. You need to stay away from her.”

  “That’s easier said than done,” I grumbled, folding my arms across my chest. “And believe me, hurting her is the last thing I want to do.”

  “Then keep your distance,” Dad said with finality in his voice.

  I didn’t say anything further because there was nothing else to say. Mom and Dad always thought they were right about everything, and no matter what I said to try to change their mind, they could never see things my way.

  The only person who understood me was Hadie. Even what little she knew of me, she understood perfectly. How was I going to let go of someone like that? I’d tried to warn her away, but she hadn’t listened. I could act like a complete jerk to her, but that wasn’t like me at all and I wasn’t going to pretend to be someone I wasn’t anymore.

  My attention returned to Bennett as he stood up and went over to the counter to pay for his food. As he began walking out of the diner, I stood up. “Hey, Dad, I’ll be back in a minute. I just saw a guy I know from school.”

  Dad nodded absently, and I went after Bennett, quickening my pace to catch up with him. He had just walked out onto the street and was staring down at the ground when I reached him.

  “Hey,” I said, “you’re Hadie’s ex-boyfriend.” It came out more as a statement than a question.

  Bennett turned around and sized me up, his gaze darkening. “Yeah, what’s it to you?”

  “What were you doing in there?” I asked, ignoring his question and taking a step towards him.

  “That’s got nothing to do with you.” He crossed his arms across his chest in a way that was obviously meant to intimidate me. It didn’t work; it only made me madder.

  “Hadie’s my friend so, yeah, I think it has everything to do with me,” I shot back. “Stay the hell away from her and stop writing crap on her locker.”

  “That wasn’t me,” he said, his expression surly.

  “Then tell your sidekicks to stop doing it because if it happens again, I will break your face, do you understand?” I was so angry that my words came out more like a snarl.

  “You’re bluffing,” he said, but his eyes darted left and right nervously.

  I smiled in what I hoped looked like a crazy way. “You don’t know me, I’m new in town. There was a reason why I was kicked out of my old school. You don’t know what I’m capable of, so don’t test me. I’ve got nothing to lose.”

  Okay, so that had been a complete lie. I hadn’t been kicked out of school, I’d only been in two fights my entire life, and one of them had been in first grade when Mary Snyder had pushed me into the mud and stomped on my hand. Bennett didn’t know that though and his ignorance was my advantage.

  “Whatever,” he spat out. “You’re a fucking loser.”

  With that, he turned and headed down the street, not looking back at me. Hopefully he’d gotten the message and would pass it along to his loser friends. I mean, I didn’t want to get into a fight at my new school, but if they didn’t leave Hadie alone then I wasn’t going to let it go.

  Hadie deserved a lot better than that. And I was going to make sure she got it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hadie

  I had only ever been to two high school parties in my entire life.

  At the first one, I had very quickly left after some drunk girl I didn’t know had hugged me and then proceeded to throw up all over me. At the second one, I’d caught my boyfriend making out with another girl, and gotten into a fight with him. Therefore, you could sort of understand why I steered clear of them.

  So when Mariah, Lana and I were having one of our three-way phone conversations on Saturday night, it surprised even me when Mariah made a last ditch effort to get me to go with them to the field party and I said yes.

  “You’re joking!” she cried into the phone. “Don’t play games with me Hadassah Swinton. I’ll cry!”

  “I’m serious,” I said, and I meant it. “I’ll go with you as long as I don’t have to drink or anything.”

  I was glad she hadn’t asked why I’d suddenly changed my mind because I would’ve felt pretty stupid saying it out loud.

  Honestly, it was because of Lincoln. He had really pissed me off yesterday. The way he was so hot and cold towards me was confusing, and I didn’t want to act desperate, like I wanted to be around him all the time. Never mind the fact that I did want to be around him.

  He was the one who’d re
ally gotten me to smile and laugh after the break-up with Bennett. He’d taught me that change was a necessary part of life, regardless of whether it was positive or negative. Still, that didn’t mean that I should expect Lincoln to like me or ask me out or kiss me…

  I shook my head, trying to erase thoughts of kissing Lincoln. The way he had acted yesterday was enough to make me mad, but not enough to stop me being attracted to him. I mean, he was really nice when he wanted to be, but he could also come across as indifferent and I didn’t need another guy leading me on.

  That was why I was going to go to the bonfire tonight and have a good time. Without Lincoln.

  “Oh my God! I don’t care about that as long as you go with me!” She shrieked into the phone so loud that I had to hold it away from my ear. Mariah was the definition of the word overreaction. “You need to get funky with it and have some fun!”

  I rolled my eyes as I relaxed onto my bed and gazed up at the off-white ceiling. “Ray, I’m not going to be getting funky with anything. And what is that even supposed to mean?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said mysteriously. “So, Lana, did you ask Estee if she can make it?”

  Lana sighed. “I don’t think so. You know what her dad and brother are like. She said they’ll have a seizure if she stays out late. Besides, she said she has some volunteer work to do tomorrow so she’s going to bed early.”

  “Estee is such a saint. I think my parents want to adopt her,” Mariah said, airily.

  “Well, from the way things are at home, I think she would actually take your parents up on that offer, even if she did have to put up with you.” Lana’s voice was melancholy and I knew she wasn’t trying to spoil the mood, just stating a fact.

  Estella had a pretty tough family situation. Her dad was an alcoholic with a gambling problem. He had gambled away what little savings the family had had, causing Mrs. Markson to leave her husband and her three kids and get out of Statlen. No one had seen her in five years and the Markson’s home life had kind of deteriorated since then.

  Estella had an older brother, Nathan, who was in his first year at Statlen University, and a younger sister, Savannah, who was a junior. Considering the crappy family life the Markson kids had, they’d all managed to turn out alright. Nathan was a little too overprotective of Estella though, just like their dad was. He didn’t like Estella dating or staying out too late, which was weird because they weren’t as strict on Savannah. Maybe it was because Estella was the one who cooked and cleaned and took care of everyone. She held that family together like super glue.

  And our parents loved her. Everyone loved her.

  Mariah laughed awkwardly, because it was still hard for us to think about Estella’s personal situation, and promptly changed the subject. “So, I’ll pick you up at eight, Hadie?”

  I glanced at my bedside clock and saw that it read 7:17 P.M. That should be enough time to make myself look somewhat decent. “Yeah, eight is fine. Lana, what should I wear?”

  If you needed fashion advice, Lana was the one to go to. We didn’t have the best clothing stores in Statlen, but Lana got most of her stuff online and I was forever envious of her wardrobe. Still, I had a few things in my wardrobe that I prized, like my coats. I loved collecting coats.

  “Well, based on the fall weather, I would suggest you dress so you’re warm, but look sexy.”

  “Why couldn’t we just have a bonfire?” I wondered, mentally going through my wardrobe to try and figure out if I had anything that could be classified as “warm, but sexy”.

  “Because it’s too close to town and the police would’ve broken it up in five minutes flat. You must make great sacrifices to have fun.”

  Mariah said it so seriously that I couldn’t help but laugh. “And what exactly are you going to wear?”

  “A short, black dress.”

  “How is that warm?” I asked.

  “Sacrifices, Hadie, sacrifices,” Mariah said, as if that somehow explained everything.

  We got off the phone a couple minutes later and I went over to the mirror and studied my reflection in it. I looked like a complete troll. My hair was messier than usual and I looked like one of those crazy ladies who had twenty cats, smelled like Spam, and wore six layers of clothing, even in summer.

  I definitely lacked a social life. But I had a good reason for that. My books were my social life; the characters in them were my friends. I laughed with them and cried with them. And had crushes on them and talked to them too.

  I made a face at myself in in the mirror. Wow, I sounded tragically pathetic. I really did need to get out of the house and do normal teenager stuff.

  Walking over to my wardrobe, I opened it up to view the assortment of clothes that were hanging inside. Everything was color-coded and organized in an orderly fashion just like the rest of my room was. To say that I was a neat freak was kind of an understatement. I was more of a control freak when it came to the cleanliness of my room.

  If something was out of its place, I kind of lost it. Especially my books. They were categorized alphabetically, but were also grouped by genre. That’s the way I liked everything. I wanted everything to be organized in a way that made sense. Sure, it might not make sense to other people, but it made a lot of sense to me.

  I studied my clothes in disdain. Most of my clothes were from junior year and consisted mainly of sensible sweaters. Okay, so my sense of style kind of lacked style, but there had to be something semi-decent I could wear tonight.

  Chewing on my lip, I pulled out a pair of tight, black jeans and a baby blue sweater. This was my favorite go-to outfit. I always wore it in the colder months with one of my numerous coats. Was this what Lana had meant when she’d said to dress warm, but sexy?

  Holding the outfit up in the mirror, I scrutinized myself. It looked like something an accountant would wear to the beach. Warm, but definitely not sexy. Besides, Lincoln said that I hid behind my sweaters, so maybe it was time to try something different.

  Tossing aside the jeans and sweater, I searched through my wardrobe and pulled out a lilac tank top that had thin spaghetti straps. I hadn’t worn this top since I’d been about fourteen. I’d quickly outgrown it and only kept it because I liked the color.

  Not wanting to waste any more time, I threw on the outfit and studied myself. The top was skin tight, but not uncomfortable, and showed off a couple of inches of my flat stomach. Feeling self-conscious, I pulled on a jacket and walked over to the dresser to run a brush through my hair. Then I applied some light foundation that blended in with my skin and decided to wear some red lipstick for a bold effect.

  This was the best I could do, and it didn’t really matter, did it? It’s not like I was trying to impress anyone. Lincoln wasn’t even going…okay, I really needed to stop thinking about Lincoln. This was supposed to be a Lincoln-free night.

  When I walked out into the kitchen, Mom and Dad stared at me in surprise. “Were you playing with my make-up again, honey?” Mom asked with a teasing smile.

  “Does it look that bad?” I asked, feeling even more self-conscious.

  “You look great, honey. Are you going out?” Mom asked, her eyes widening as she took in my entire appearance.

  At first I was kinda offended that she looked so surprised, but then I realized it was because I never went out and did typical teenager stuff. Sometimes I think my parents thought I was a middle-aged woman trapped in the body of a seventeen-year-old.

  “Yeah, I’m just going out with Mariah and Lana.”

  Dad raised an eyebrow. “Will there be boys where you’re going.”

  “Probably, Dad.”

  “And alcohol?”

  “You know I don’t drink.”

  “Do you want to borrow my pepper spray?” Mom quizzed as I sat down at the table and pulled on a pair of ankle boots.

  My brow furrowed at her question. “Mom, why do you have pepper spray? You’re a secretary. What’s the worst that could happen to you?”

  “S
ometimes your dad gets handsy at work,” Mom said, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “I need something to keep him at bay.”

  Dad winked at her. “You know it, sugar pops.”

  “Too much information!” I pretended to gag and was grateful when I heard two honks from outside. “Gotta go! That’s Ray and Lana.”

  “Give the girls hugs and kisses from us,” Mom said fondly.

  “And don’t get pregnant!” Dad called out after me as I opened up the door and ran outside to where Mariah had pulled up in my driveway.

  Honestly, my parents were complete nuts. Who was going to get me pregnant? I had no romantic prospects to speak of.

  ***

  The field party was just as noisy and annoying as the two other high school parties I’d been to.

  When I saw the number of people heading towards the field, I felt like dragging Mariah back to her car and forcing her to reverse all the way back home. What was I doing here? I didn’t fit into this scene at all. It was stupid for me to come here in the first place.

  I could’ve just as easily forgotten about all my problems if I’d stayed at home and read about Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth’s courtship. Now there was a love story I wish I’d been a part of.

  “Ooh, look how cute Connor looks!” Mariah squealed into my ear as the three of us walked onto the field.

  It was only half past eight and there were already about a hundred people here. I scanned the crowd and saw that Connor McAllister was standing around talking to a bunch of guys. Connor was on the basketball team so he was in great shape which Mariah was always quick to point out.

  Mariah had liked Connor for months now and she didn’t need to tell me that he was the reason she’d come here tonight. I bet she’d put that risqué black dress on with the sole purpose of getting Connor’s attention. I was pretty sure she would succeed. She looked amazing tonight.

  Mariah linked her arm through mine as we headed over to a few picnic blankets that had been laid out on the ground and were covered in lots of different kinds of alcohol. The only alcoholic drinks I could recognize by sight were beer and vodka. That was as far as my knowledge regarding alcohol went.