Not Attainable (Red Eyes MC Romance)

by Blair Grey

  “I don’t know,” Will sighed. “I’m pretty convinced that the only reason she put it in her will was so that she could dangle all this money in front of me, money that she knew I could never actually lay my hands on. A final kick to the teeth.”

  “What is it?” I asked softly. I hated seeing him so bitter and upset. I wanted to put my arms around him and just hold him, but I knew he wouldn’t appreciate that.

  Will grimaced. “She wants me to get married.”

  I stared at him for a long moment. “That’s it?” I asked blankly. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It might not happen for a while, sure, but you’ll find someone eventually, and you’ll get to settle down and start your life all over again. The right way.” My voice got more and more choked as I said it, and I couldn’t help the tears filling up my eyes as I considered him marrying someone else.

  Will stared at me for a moment, and I could see the hurt look on his face. For just an instant, and then he looked away again. “I don’t have time for that,” he said.

  I frowned. “What, are you sick or something?”

  “No,” Will said, sounding impatient. “That was the caveat. I have to marry someone. Within thirty days.”

  “Oh,” I said in shock. “That’s…tricky.”

  “I told you, it’s impossible,” Will said, anger lacing his tone. But when he looked back over at me, he just looked resigned. “Now, more than ever, I wish that there was some way that I could get out of this. Something else that I could do with my life. That money could change everything. I could get an education or start a business or buy a ranch or do anything, practically. But I’m never going to have a chance to do any of that. If I don’t get married within the month, all that money just goes away.”

  “Money can’t just vanish,” I pointed out, trying to joke to lighten the mood.

  But Will just shook his head again. “It all goes to charity—that’s what she wanted. According to her will.”

  I stared at him for a long moment, wishing I could help. Or again, just wishing that I could comfort him in some way. But he hadn’t brought me here to comfort him. I wasn’t sure why he had shown up in the diner, but I assumed it was mainly to let me know that we couldn’t sleep together again. That whatever I felt for him, I had to push it down.

  That was for the best, anyway, no matter how much it sucked.

  Will glanced over at me and then stood up. I stood as well. “Thanks for bandaging my hands,” he said. He paused. “You should probably get home before Ray starts wondering where you are, though.”

  “Probably,” I agreed, even though I didn’t want to leave yet. I didn’t have a choice, though.

  That night, as I lay in my bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about Will. It was a problem I’d had ever since Saturday night, only this time, I wasn’t thinking sexy thoughts about him. Instead, I was trying to brainstorm ways that I could help him. It at least had to be more possible than figuring out a way to have a relationship with him, right?

  But if there was a way, I certainly couldn’t think of it. I sighed and surrendered to sleep.

  17

  Will

  I met Ray and Marcus at a café for lunch so we could discuss what we were going to do about the Unknowns. I still couldn’t figure out why Ray was keeping things such a secret from the rest of the club. As far as I knew, he and I were still the only people who knew what had transpired the previous day. There was something strange about it. We’d had to fight our way out, and we didn’t know what the Unknowns’ next move would be. To my mind, that meant that everyone should have been called to an emergency meeting so that we could all be on the same page and prepared for whatever happened next.

  But I wasn’t the president of the MC, and I would do whatever Ray wanted.

  Even if it meant meeting at some random café that looked more like the kind of place old ladies would go to crochet.

  “I like this place,” Ray said, looking around with a grin on his face when I commented on the décor. “It’s homey.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “And besides, it’s quiet but not too quiet, and the owner and I go way back. I was good friends with her father.”

  I ducked my head, feeling chagrined. I shouldn’t have questioned him; of course, he had his reasons. But I couldn’t help asking another question: “Why didn’t you get everyone together at headquarters?” I asked. “Shouldn’t we all be in on this?”

  Ray frowned, a dark look crossing his face. “We still don’t know enough about the Unknowns.”

  “So shouldn’t we pool whatever knowledge each of us has?” I asked, unsure where he was going with this.

  “We don’t know who the Unknowns are,” Ray said.

  I blinked. Did he think some of the Red Eyes had turned traitor? And if he did, why? Before I could ask another question, Marcus spoke up.

  “We need to attack,” he said. He reached over to tap my knuckles. “I see things got a bit out of hand yesterday. But at least you lived to tell the tale.”

  Ray snorted. “Don’t be dramatic; of course we did,” he said. “That leader of theirs might not respect anyone or anything, but they didn’t give us more than love taps. It was a play, nothing more.”

  “Still,” Marcus said darkly. “We should act now, not sit around with our thumbs up our asses waiting for their next move.”

  “It’s their turn, though,” Ray said, sounding amused. “I called the negotiations, they attacked us, and we kicked their asses. Now, we wait to see what they want to do.”

  “That’s a terrible plan,” Marcus said heatedly.

  “Is it?” Ray asked, his eyes glinting. But he still didn’t sound particularly angry with the way Marcus was challenging him. “I’m not going to make another move until we find out exactly who the Unknowns are and what they’ve done. I know you’ve learned a lot about them, and I appreciate that, but we still don’t have enough information. We can’t act until we know how they’re going to react.” He paused. “The last thing we need right now is a bloodbath.”

  There was silence at the table while we all thought about that.

  “Tell me what happened yesterday,” Marcus demanded. I looked at Ray, but he was silent, taking a bite out of his sandwich. He gestured for me to continue.

  “We showed up at the place. They were already there,” I told Marcus, glancing over at him. “All four of them.”

  Marcus swore. “I knew I should have gone with you.”

  I shook my head. “We didn’t need you,” I said, grinning at Ray. “Ray let them talk for a bit, and when they tried to attack us, he took out two of them while I handled the other one. Fucking nice fighting on his part.”

  “I do my best,” Ray said darkly.

  “But you said there were four of them,” Marcus said, frowning. “What happened to the other dude?”

  “Their leader, Lex, just stood there, not doing anything,” I said disgustedly. “Well, actually, that’s a lie. When we had knocked out his three henchmen, he just stood there and laughed.”

  Marcus scowled. “I hope you gave him what was coming to him.”

  I thought back to the scene from yesterday. I’d been so sure that Ray would take care of Lex. He certainly looked pissed enough. But instead, he’d just said, “Consider this your warning,” and led the way back to our car. I’d backed away toward the vehicle, sure that Lex would come after us, that he would try to get us on sheer surprise if nothing else.

  But he just stood there watching us as we drove away.

  The silent ride back to Las Cruces had made me realize I didn’t want anything to do with whatever was going to happen between Red Eyes and the Unknowns. Which made me feel terrible. I definitely felt like I owed something to Ray. More than ever, now, after everything with Belle. But I also wanted nothing more to do with the MC. I wanted out.

  I’d realized that somewhere between punching out that goon and seeing how fucking scary Ray could look if he tried. Not only did I not want to be the kind of guy who went
around brawling and punching dudes out, not only did that remind me way too much of my father, but I also didn’t want to be like Ray. I didn’t want to be the kind of guy that everyone was just scared of, even his closest friends.

  I shouldn’t have gone to see Belle at the diner. I knew that, somewhere deep down. But I needed to tell someone about the inheritance before I burst, and she was really the only person I could tell. It had also been something I needed for other reasons. My dad had never had that sort of self-control. He would have dragged Belle back into the bedroom and fucked her until she came and came and passed out, regardless of the consequences.

  By not doing that, I had reassured myself, in some small way, that I still was not my father’s son, no matter what else had happened.

  My phone rang where it rested on the table. I glanced down and was alarmed to see Belle’s name flash on the screen. My heart hammered, and I quickly grabbed my phone off the table, glancing back and forth between Ray and Marcus, praying that neither of them had seen that. But they were still going on about Lex and whether or not we should attack him immediately or wait until we had more information about his motives. Neither of them had noticed. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  But my phone started ringing again almost immediately. I frowned, wondering if something was wrong. If she was in trouble of some sort. I hoped not.

  “Go ahead and answer that,” Ray said, nodding at me.

  “It’s really not important,” I said, knowing that he would no doubt be able to hear and recognize his daughter’s voice on the other end of the line. He would wonder why she was calling, and if she said anything incriminating about last night or any of the other nights, it would only be a matter of minutes before he knew all about us.

  Ray rolled his eyes. “Just answer it,” he said shortly.

  There was no arguing with that. I took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Mr. Kamp, this is Greg Townsend again, over here in Texas. How ya doing today?”

  I breathed a silent sigh of relief. “I’m good,” I said. “What’s up?”

  “I hear you guys are having quite the heat wave over there in New Mexico; hope it’s not too terrible for you!” Greg said, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. As glad as I was that it was him who had called the second time, if I had realized it was him, I would definitely not have hurried to pick up the phone.

  “No, things aren’t too bad here,” I said, hoping he’d hurry up and get to the point.

  Fortunately, he did. “I was just calling to check in. Wondering if you’d made any progress yet.”

  I grimaced, looking at Ray, who was staring curiously at me. “I’m actually in the middle of a meeting right now,” I said to Greg, not wanting to talk about the particulars where anyone else could overhear. I still didn’t have any sort of plan for how I was actually going to get that money, and at this point, I was starting to lose all hope. But I didn’t want to admit that in front of anyone else. “Is it okay if I give you a call back?”

  “Absolutely! You have my number. I look forward to hearing from you.”

  “Yeah,” I said, hanging up the phone.

  “Who was that?” Ray asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

  I shook my head. “Just the lawyer from Texas. The one who read my grandmother’s will. He just wanted to know if I’d had any luck with the paperwork and everything.”

  “Seemed like a friendly guy,” Marcus teased, grinning at me.

  I gave him a look but didn’t respond.

  “How are you doing with all of that?” Ray asked. “Are you sure you don’t need me to rustle up a lawyer for you? It might be helpful if you’re having trouble weeding through all the details.”

  “Nah, I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s just taking a little time, that’s all.” I didn’t know why I continued to lie to him. It would have been so easy to admit that there were certain strings attached to that money, that there was no way I was ever going to lay my hands on that inheritance.

  It was partly that admitting it out loud would quash any remaining hope that I had. Telling Belle about it had been one thing. Telling Ray about it—Ray who was older and wiser and more experienced than me—could kill the dream entirely. If he thought it was impossible, then I would have to believe him. Belle was full of optimism. Her father was a realist.

  On top of that, admitting I had lost never came easy to me. I didn’t want to admit that I was a failure at something as stupid as this. Especially not when my grandmother had pretty much flat-out said that if I didn’t have a wife, I was just as bad as my father. I was already struggling with feelings that I was all too similar to him; I didn’t need to admit it out loud.

  Ray didn’t seem to think there was anything odd about my having to do weeks’ worth of paperwork to sort this thing out, though. Instead, he just smiled at me. “Well, if you need anything, remember that all you have to do is ask.”

  Privately, I thought that I’d probably done enough to Ray. If he had even the slightest inkling that I’d been involved with Belle, I knew he wouldn’t be even half as friendly toward me. He certainly wouldn’t be offering to do me any favors.

  But I just smiled at him. “Thanks, man,” I said. “If there’s anything you can do, I’ll definitely let you know.”

  18

  Belle

  Because of my work schedule, I ended up having dinner with Dad on Thursday instead of Wednesday that week. They usually didn’t put me on the schedule on Wednesday nights, but Mandy had called in sick, and Hannah was out of town, so they were a little limited in their options. In my opinion, it wasn’t like we were ever very busy on Wednesday nights and they probably could have done without me, but it was an extra shift and a little extra money, so I wasn’t complaining.

  I cooked dinner on Thursday. It was nothing fancy, just fettuccine Alfredo, garlic bread, and a nice salad, but I knew Dad would love it. He always appreciated when I used Mom’s old recipes.

  “This is delicious,” Dad said, using his fork to lazily gesture at his pasta after he’d swallowed his first bite.

  I smiled at him. “I learned that one from the best.”

  He smiled right back at me. “So how are things going?” he asked. “Work is going well?”

  “Yeah, it is,” I said. “It’s been pretty slow lately, not too many out-of-towners coming in. But it’s been good. They’ve had me working with Nicole a lot, so we have fun together.”

  “That Nicole,” Dad said, shaking his head. “What’s she up to these days?”

  I laughed. “Well, she has a new boyfriend, if you can believe it.”

  “Doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Dad said.

  I wanted to mention Will. Maybe to hint about my relationship with him. Non-relationship, as it might be, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Maybe if I dropped enough hints, Dad would be okay with it. Maybe he would think it had been his idea all along.

  I couldn’t just mention him outright, though. I definitely couldn’t say that he had come by the diner and that I had gone back to his place to bandage his knuckles the other night. But don’t worry, nothing happened because he’s too loyal to you ever to want to mess around with me again.

  I decided to try a different tact. “You know, I love cooking from Mom’s recipes,” I said. “She always put her notes in the corners of them, all the times that she made them and what your comments were on them. It’s how I steer clear of the things you don’t like.”

  Dad laughed. “That mother of yours, she was always so clever,” he said. “I remember her writing those notes. She always wanted to know everything, the good and the bad.”

  “Can you tell me more about her?” I asked, propping my head against my hand. I never got tired of listening to Dad talk about Mom, no matter how many times he repeated the same stories.

  “Your mother was the absolute best person that ever walked this earth,” Dad said like he always did. He took a sip of his wine. “She was so graceful, l
ike you could never believe. She’d been a dancer all through her adolescence, and she couldn’t move across the room without you feeling like you were getting a private showing of some performance. She was beautiful. Unearthly.”

  Dad cleared his throat. “But it wasn’t just beauty on the outside. She was the kindest person you ever met, too. I don’t know what she ever thought in shacking up with some poor old biker dude like me. Maybe she thought that she could make me into a better person. And in a way, she did. Your mother had a way of touching all the people around them, of letting them see the goodness in the world. And once you saw things the way that she did, you could never forget it.”

  “What’s your favorite memory of her?” I asked.

  Dad frowned. “It’s hard for me to say,” he said like he always did. “There are so many good ones.” He stroked his chin. “Did I ever tell you about when she brought home our first dog?”

  “I don’t think you have,” I said, even though I was pretty sure that I already knew this story. I never admitted it, though. I didn’t want him ever to think I didn’t want to hear them.

  “I don’t know if you remember your first dog. Tiger, you called him. But we only had him for about a day.” He paused again, smiling fondly. “Your mom found him on her way home from the school one day. She used to volunteer there, teaching basic dance classes to some of the after-school kids. Anyway, as soon as your mom laid eyes on this dog, she knew she had to bring him home. So she picked him up—he wasn’t a very big dog—and she bundled him in her coat.

  “Now, when she got home with him, she decided that he needed a bath. So she rigged up a leash and collar for him with some rope and tied him to the deck while she filled a tub of water. Then, she untied him so that she could bathe him.”

  I couldn’t help jumping in. “Only Tiger didn’t like the water much, did he?”