The Accident

by A M Heath

  But back to Chris’s comment about me being the hostile one. Okay, so I didn’t like it. But maybe he’s right about this too. So I played it cool and told him that I agreed, but I just couldn’t really walk away like that. Because I didn’t really see how I was supposed to change. Or that I even wanted to. Chris pointed out that I’d have to want to. He suggested that I pray to want the right attitude first, so now I have something new I can pray about. It’s nice to have some direction about what to do in prayer. Why couldn’t God put a checklist in the back of the Bible? That would have been so much easier!

  Chapter Six

  July 21, 2017

  Chris 1:01 pm:

  How is Ashlyn feeling? Did she make it to her friend’s house today?

  Danielle 1:02 pm:

  Who is this?

  Chris 1:02 pm:

  Umm, Chris.

  Danielle 1:03 pm:

  Chris who? And how do you know my daughter?

  Chris 1:04 pm:

  Chris Knowles, and you told me about her. What’s going on? Do I have the wrong number again? This is Danielle, right? Danielle Conner?

  Danielle 1:06 pm:

  WHO IS THIS? I don’t know any Chris Knowles, and I haven’t told you anything. I demand to know the truth, or I’m calling the police. Better yet, I’m calling them anyway.

  Chris 1:07 pm:

  Wait! Hold up. I really am Chris, and you really have been talking to me. Or at least someone has from this number. I swear it.

  Chris 1:08 pm:

  Could Ashlyn have been the one talking to me?

  Danielle 1:08 pm:

  I don’t know. Maybe.

  Danielle 1:08 pm:

  Hold on and I’ll check.

  Mom and Ashlyn:

  Mom 1:09 pm:

  Have you been texting some guy named Chris on my phone?

  Ashlyn 1:11 pm:

  Yes, but, PLEASE, don’t be mad!

  Mom 1:12 pm:

  ASHLYN!! Don’t be mad? Are you kidding me right now? I have some strange man asking me how my daughter is, and I don’t know the first thing about him. He could be a rapist for all I know. How could you do this?

  Ashlyn 1:14 pm:

  He’s not a rapist. He’s a really nice guy, and we just started chatting by accident.

  Mom 1:16 pm:

  Maybe you think it was an accident. These kinds of people are so cunning, Ashlyn. You really don’t know who you were talking to or what kind of person he is. You cannot tell me he’s a nice guy. He’s been chatting with a teenager!

  Ashlyn 1:18 pm:

  Well, he didn’t actually know about that part. I didn’t tell him I was me. I pretended to be you the whole time.

  Mom 1:19 pm:

  YOU WHAT? Get home! NOW!

  Danielle and Chris:

  Danielle 1:25 pm:

  Just talked to my daughter. She admits to talking with you. Look, I’m sorry for this whole thing, but lose my number and don’t ever try talking to my daughter again.

  Chris 1:31 pm:

  I am so sorry! I really had no idea. Look, I know you want me to lose your number and I can. I will. But … but first, meet me. I think you’d feel better if you knew what sort of relationship I had with your daughter, and I’m assuming she has been deleting our messages. Please hear me out. It was completely innocent. I’m not trying to talk you into letting me speak with her again, I just think it’ll help you to know what has been said.

  If you’ll meet me at Main Street Baptist Church, I’ll turn over my phone to you, and you can read everything that transpired between us. I promise, I don’t want to cause you any trouble. I can only imagine how you feel right now. I just want to help you in any way that I can.

  Danielle 1:42 pm:

  Fine. I’ll meet you in an hour. And just so you know, I have a male friend coming with me and others who know we’ll be meeting.

  Chris 1:43 pm:

  That’s only fair. I’ll see you then. I’ll be in a red Ford.

  Ashlyn’s Diary:

  I blew it big time. I meant to tell Chris the truth, but never really knew how. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Everyone knows. Momma liked to have blown a fuse when Chris texted her. Now she’s mad at him, me, herself, but mostly just me.

  I’ve never seen Mom so angry. You’d thought I’d tried to run away with the guy or something. She even left the house without a scarf around her neck, and she hasn’t done that since the surgery.

  I had to go with her to meet Chris. It was so humiliating. Momma wanted to leave me at home so Chris couldn’t see me. She still thinks he might be a child molester or part of the underground sex trafficking ring. I know he’s not, but I suppose she doesn’t know him like I do. And that’s the trouble with it all. I had been texting him, pretending to be Mom. I answered things like I thought she might. And I think they’d be perfect for each other, but she doesn’t really know him. I never could figure out how to make that happen, especially since Chris thought he knew my mom. Well, that’s what lying will get you, I suppose. Brother Mike always says that your sins will find you out. I guess I should have seen this coming.

  Anyways, I had to go with Momma to meet Chris, but she wouldn’t let me out of the car. She walked out with Tim and locked me in the car.

  I couldn’t hear anything they said, but Chris seemed to be apologizing to her again and again, even though we both know it wasn’t his fault. He kept his word and handed over his phone to her just like that. I don’t know how he could be so calm about it. I mean, it’s his phone! How’s he gonna wake up in time for work? What if his boss calls? What if his sister needs him? Urg. I don’t even want to imagine how I’m gonna have to live without mine … which is currently sitting in Mom’s pocket with no promise of return.

  She spent all afternoon reading over my messages with Chris. I know she’s been snooping through my phone too, but she won’t find anything on it. We really didn’t do anything wrong. Not really wrong anyways. So she’s totally over-reacting.

  I felt terrible for Chris, though. Momma was still in a fine rage when they were talking. But when he looked at me, there was so much pity in his eyes. The whole time, I just kept thinking that he was going to hate me. Maybe he won’t. I keep seeing that moment in my head when he looked me in the eyes. I had been crying since Momma texted me, so I’m sure I looked a mess. But you know something, I really don’t think he’s angry with me. At least I hope he’s not. Maybe once he’s had time to think about how I lied to him and almost got him arrested, he’ll feel differently. But, man, I hope not. I’d hate for him to be mad at me too.

  Chapter Seven

  October 5, 2017

  Ashlyn’s Diary:

  I know I’ve been kinda absent lately. I started the 10th grade. My phone is still confiscated, but Momma had returned Chris’s to him two days after they met.

  Momma has more energy these days since her treatment is over, but her scan is coming up, so she’ll be back on the diet soon. I’m so nervous. I almost don’t want to know the results. I mean, I do, but the anticipation is brutal. And what if it’s bad news again? I’d rather not know than to know for certain that she still isn’t cured. We should get the results right before Christmas, so we’ll either have a great Christmas or have it completely ruined. Ugh. I can’t even think about this anymore.

  My life has been horribly quiet. No phone. No internet unless Momma is awake and sitting beside me. I couldn’t even go to Aunt Macy’s house for a week this summer like usual because Momma was afraid of what I’d do when I was out of her sight.

  This whole thing stinks so bad. She’s smothering me, and anytime I say something about it, she just throws Chris back in my face, as if I didn’t feel bad enough. I mean, did she ever stop to think about how I felt? I lost a friend here. That’s what he was. All she sees is that he’s an old man and a threat to my virginity. But … he was my friend. He got me. And she doesn’t anymore.

  The Preds play tonight. It’s the first game of the season. I’m look
ing forward to it. I had been all summer. But it kinda makes me sad to think about watching the game alone. Momma has never cared about sports. Not really. She tolerated football games while Daddy was alive, but it’s been so long. None of my friends from school watch hockey. So it looks like I’ll be rooting them on solo tonight. Joy.

  Chapter Eight

  October 6, 2017

  Ashlyn’s Diary:

  The Preds lost last night. Such a bummer. I hope this isn’t the start of a bad season. After the excitement of last year, it’ll be hard to swallow a losing season.

  I was watching the game when Momma walked in and asked why I was watching hockey. I shrugged and didn’t answer. Didn’t figure she’d want to hear Chris’s name. She just stood there and stared at the TV for a long while. I thought she might sit down, and I almost asked her, but she stormed out of the room.

  This morning while she was driving me to school, she asked me if I was watching hockey because of Chris. Part of me was afraid to admit to it, since anything to do with Chris will likely be taken away from me, but I couldn’t lie to her. She’d read all of our messages, so she’d know that he’s the one who introduced me to hockey.

  I was surprised when she didn’t say anything after I admitted it.

  Vicki and Audrey are planning their birthday parties together. Of course, I can’t go. It’s just another thing I’m left out of these days. I’m already out of the loop because I don’t have my phone, so I can’t be in on the group texts. Every day when I come to school, it’s like they’re having this totally separate conversation without me.

  I know Mom is doing all of this to keep me from talking to Chris, because he’s an old man and all, but she’s only making me miss him more.

  Danielle and Chris:

  Danielle 8:50 pm:

  You probably don’t want to hear from me after the way I acted, but if you have a minute, I have a question. It’s about Ashlyn.

  Chris 8:51 pm:

  I don’t blame you or your daughter for anything you said. You were upset. I get that. Truth is, I think I would have acted the exact same way if it had been my daughter. I’ll help in anyway that I can, so shoot.

  Danielle 8:52:

  Ashlyn seems so distant lately. I figured it’s because I had punished her. Teens can be that way, but this feels different. It seems neverending. I don’t know why I’m asking you this, but what do you think the problem is? I dread even voicing it out loud, but I have to know … Do you think my daughter was falling in love with you?

  Chris 8:56 pm:

  I honestly couldn’t say how she felt. We never talked of deep feelings. Or feelings of that sort at all. Knowing what I know now, I like to think she wasn’t. She, at least, knew how old I was.

  I’ve read our messages several times over the last two months, looking for hints or clues that I should have picked up on to let me know that I was texting a minor, but I couldn’t find any. And I didn’t find any clues that she was falling in love with me either. I can’t really say why she did it.

  But as for her attitude now, I’d refer back to you. You’re her mother, so you know her better than I do. What I did gather was that she was lonely and upset. I think that’s why I kept talking to her early on.

  Have you ever talked to someone and felt like God was nudging you to keep going? That’s the way it was with Ashlyn. What little Ashlyn did share with me about her troubles, I gathered that she was scared. Do you think she is afraid of losing you? And maybe now is frustrated from losing her friendship with me? You’d said, or rather she’d said, you’d lost your husband years ago. Maybe these changes have been hard for her. That’s just my guess. Again, you’re her mother, so go with your gut.

  Danielle 8:57 pm:

  Hmm. Could be. You’ve given me some things to think on. Thank you!

  Chris 8:57 pm:

  Anytime.

  Chris 8:58 pm:

  And I mean that, Danielle. I’m praying for you both. Feel free to talk to me anytime.

  Danielle 8:58 pm:

  Thank you. That’s more than we deserve.

  Chapter Nine

  October 7, 2017

  Danielle and her sister, Macy:

  Macy 10:45 am:

  How are things going?

  Danielle 10:47 am:

  Depends on which things you’re referring to. Health: same old, same old. I’m just trying to catch up on some things at the office before the diet lays me out. But it’s a struggle. I still want to sleep a lot, but I know I can’t. Then I feel guilty when I do. It’s a frustrating cycle.

  Ashlyn: Not so well at all, actually. She’s been giving me a hard time lately, and I’m at my wit’s end. I actually ended up texting Chris last night.

  Macy 10:49 am:

  Wait, what? Chris, Chris? The Chris?

  Danielle 10:49 am:

  Yep. Getting desperate.

  Macy 10:49 am:

  What did he say?

  Danielle 10:51 am:

  I started off by apologizing. I figured I was the last person he wanted to hear from. But he was really nice about it all. Better than I would have been if I were him.

  Anyway, I asked him if he thought Ashlyn was in love with him. I figured that might explain some of her attitude lately. I can’t figure out why else she be so close to him?

  Macy 10:53 am:

  Wow, that’s a good idea. I hadn’t thought about her loving him. I was more concerned about how he felt for her, I guess. What did he say?

  Danielle 10:54 am:

  I know. So was I, at first.

  He said he didn’t think so. They never talked in that way, and he never thought she was hinting toward anything more serious. Then he suggested that I talk to Ashlyn.

  Macy 10:55 am:

  Wow. Well, that’s a relief, and maybe he’s right about talking to Ashlyn. Have you tried it?

  Danielle 10:55 am:

  Shamefully, no. I don’t know how to talk to her. Isn’t that terrible of me? What sort of mother am I, anyway?

  Macy 10:56 am:

  A mother who is going through a difficult time. Teens are hard enough, but with your health issues, things are more complicated for you right now. Hang in there. I’ll be praying for you both.

  And as for talking to Ashlyn: try taking it one word at a time. ;)

  Danielle 10:57 am:

  Thanks. I think. ;)

  Is it possible to nap until she’s out of high school?

  Macy 10:58 am:

  Nope. Best get back in there, Momma!

  Danielle 10:59 am:

  I’ll tell you one thing, I’ve prayed so much more lately.

  Macy 10:59 am:

  Well, that’s a good thing!

  Danielle 11:00 am:

  It feels good. It’s a shame it took something like this to wake me back up, but I’m beginning to be grateful I woke up at all.

  Chapter Ten

  October 11, 2017

  Ashlyn’s Diary:

  Urg! My mom has gotten on my last nerve. She won’t let me out of the house or out of her sight. I can’t talk to any of my friends about it because we’re out of school this week, and she still doesn’t trust me with a phone. So I’m going to rant and rave on a piece of paper and pretend that you can sympathize with me. It’s now that I really wish I could talk to Chris. He always had a way of helping me see my way out of a situation. But, of course, I’m not allowed to talk to him, and now I’ll definitely never talk to him again. Okay, so here’s what happened …

  I was sitting on the couch, and Momma was on my case about me not doing the dishes. I might have rolled my eyes or something, so she starts yelling at me about my attitude, and I just lost it on her.

  She started saying that I have no idea what she’s going through and that I should be helping her more. But she has no idea what I’m going through either. And I told her that.

  She said, “What are you going through that is so tragic? And don’t even bring up the cell phone, because that’s not happening.�
�

  “Fine. I won’t bring it up. How about I bring up the fact that I need a father? That I HATE that he’s gone. I mean, I honestly don’t even think I miss him, because I was so young that I barely remember him at all. But there’s still this …” I clawed at my chest as I tried to come up with the right words. “There’s this gaping hole where my father should be. I want someone who will be there for me.”

  Her eyes watered, and she just stared at me. Then she said, “I’m here for you.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re sick, and you’re asleep all the time.”

  She reared back and blinked away her tears. “I’m gonna get better, Ashlyn.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, because parents never die, right?”