Love notes

by Exley Avis

  “Is that what you want to do when this is all over? Go back to pub singing?”

  The thought tipped Erika over into helpless giggles again and she covered her face, unable to control herself. Aiden moved around the booth to sit next to her and rubbed her back, laughing as hard as she was and imagining Marty’s expression if she ever put the idea to him.

  “The man would have a heart attack,” he said, struggling for breath. “I almost feel sorry for him.”

  “Well don’t.” The image of Marty’s face cleared Erika’s head immediately and the laughter dropped away. “If you’re right, and he has been defrauding me, he deserves everything he gets.”

  She leaned back, conscious that Aiden’s arm was still around her but enjoying the closeness. She’d been deprived of these simple pleasures in her ivory tower – sharing a meal with a handsome man; laughing to the point of tears; reminiscing about the time when she’d been as unrecognisable as any other girl in the street.

  “Thank you,” she said, worn out and letting her head fall against Aiden’s shoulder. “Thank you for reminding me that our relationship wasn’t all about the broken heart at the end.”

  “Far from it.” Aiden’s arm tightened around her shoulders and he shifted to tuck her closer in beside him. “When I look back, all I remember is the laughter. And singing, and dancing. And sex.” He sighed. “A lot of sex.”

  “Was it really that easy?” Erika asked. Compared with the heartbreak that had marked the end of their relationship, she found it difficult to believe their time together could have been so idyllic.

  “You were the original low maintenance girlfriend. Always happy, undemanding, never jealous and I can’t once remember you asking me to buy you something.”

  “And your relationships since have been the opposite?” Unsubtle, she knew, but she was curious.

  “None of them has lasted as long as five months, if that answers your question.”

  It didn’t exactly but Google would fill in the gaps for her. “If our relationship really was that perfect, you have to ask whether it could have gone on indefinitely.”

  “I don’t see why not.”

  “Well, there was Little Miss Naked for a start.”

  “Ouch!”

  “Don’t tell me you didn’t deserve that.” Erika sat up and looked at him, expecting him to be irritated but Aiden was shaking his head as the last remnants of laughter seeped from his face.

  “I won’t make excuses for what I did because I was so far in the wrong it was a very long walk back.” This time his smile was grim. “But you weren’t the only one with a broken heart.”

  Forty-eight hours ago, Erika would have found this a comfort and thought he’d deserved every bad thing that had happened to him. But now, she felt the first glimmer of sympathy.

  “So you’ll have to think of me as the one that got away,” she joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

  “Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so stupid had I known you were going to turn into Erika Fenn, worldwide superstar and darling of the red carpet.”

  “And maybe I would have been a bit more forgiving had I known you’d quadruple your fortune and could keep me in designer shoes.”

  Aiden grinned and held out his hand to Erika. “No hard feelings then?”

  “Life’s too short.”

  Erika shook his hand but didn’t let go of it, and stared down at the broad, strong fingers she’d once known as well as her own. She turned his hand over and looked at his palm, running her thumb along the deeply-carved heart line.

  “I’ve missed you, Aiden,” she admitted, never once believing she’d hear herself say the words but feeling that her world had shifted so far on its axis over the last three days she no longer knew which way she was facing. “I want you to know that, for me, it wasn’t just a student romance. I probably met you at the wrong time, or in the wrong circumstances, but I don’t think you were ever the wrong man.”

  She reached up and cupped his cheek, his stubble attractively rough beneath her fingertips. He held her hand there and turned his head to kiss her pulse, his lips warm against her wrist, and she felt she was absorbing him into her veins. After so many years of feeling numb, and of being separated from the world, Erika drank in every sensation. Her whole being opened up to the pure physical pleasure of human contact that had been denied her in the solitary confinement imposed by Marty and her fame.

  “I should go,” Aiden said, his voice barely audible above the noise in the restaurant.

  “Must you?”

  “It’s late.” His reluctance was unmistakable however and he hesitated. “I’ll call a cab.”

  For a moment, Erika’s instincts rebelled and she almost asked him to stay the night but her natural sense of caution held her back. It would be all too easy to forget herself around Aiden and to involve herself too quickly with him again. Seducing him had been a mistake – she saw that now – but it had also been an instinctive reaction to an intense physical need, and her first taste of freedom in five years had made her reckless. Now, with time and space to think, she needed to pull back and take things slowly while she still had the chance.

  Once upon a time, Aiden’s infidelity had destroyed Erika’s soul and she was in no rush to revisit such a dark, desolate and lonely place.

  She stood up. “Goodnight, then,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll walk you to your room.”

  “Really, there’s no need.”

  “There’s every need. I want to know you’re safe before I leave.”

  Erika could have argued that Aiden himself posed the only real danger in the hotel. “What time do you think we’ll have news from your computer people tomorrow?” she asked instead.

  “Probably not until the afternoon. I’ll call as soon as I hear.”

  Although she’d dreamt of spending time alone, the thought of a morning without Aiden felt like a wasted opportunity. He represented both a rare link to her student days, and also someone outside of Marty’s claustrophobic inner circle. Someone she could have an intelligent, completely confidential conversation with, and how often did that happen? She’d be a fool to pass up the chance to spend time with him.

  Or so she told herself.

  “Are you busy tomorrow?” she asked. “Or do you have work to catch up on?”

  “A few calls but nothing important. Why? Do you want to do something together?”

  Erika struggled to sound casual. “I can’t really go out but I thought you might like to hang out here for the day. I feel guilty that you’ve ended up in a motel when it’s much more comfortable here. We could swim, or read…or just do nothing at all.”

  “Sounds perfect.” They’d reached Erika’s suite and Aiden took her key card to open the door. “I’ll come in time for breakfast.”

  The lock released and Erika looked at Aiden expectantly, an invitation already upon her lips. “Do you…?”

  But Aiden was already shaking his head before she finished her sentence. “We both know I’d better not. Goodnight, Erika,” he said, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek and stepping back quickly. “See you tomorrow.”

  His smile was kind, warm, gentle. Loving. Lovable.

  “Bring something smart to wear for the evening,” Erika said on impulse. “I’ll buy you a proper dinner. Perhaps you don’t deserve to be a cheap date after all.”

  “Put like that, how can I say no?”

  As Erika watched him walk away, memorising every detail of his gorgeous body and remembering what it looked like naked, she asked herself the very same question.

  Chapter Five

  Of the many things Erika might have said about Aiden, she could never accuse him of hiding his feelings around her.

  That had been part of his attraction – a sense of openness that implied there’d never be any secrets between them. If he didn’t like something, he made it very clear. Anything he was looking forward to made him bounce around like an over-excited schoolboy
. Always fair, honest to a fault and refusing to suffer fools.

  And when he fell in love with Erika he told her.

  Constantly. No game playing. No holding himself aloof. No instance of ever using his love to control her.

  Just – I love you – plain and simple.

  Even when she knew it beyond doubt, he still told her. Not so much wearing his heart on his sleeve, as having his entire body advertise exactly how he felt.

  So when Aiden emerged from the gym and walked around the poolside toward Erika, she knew immediately that he was both in a good mood and had something to tell her.

  “Don’t say you’ve heard back from your techno-people already,” Erika guessed before he’d even sat down and his face fell, setting her laughing.

  “How did you know?” he asked, crestfallen at not being able to surprise her.

  “I’m a mind reader.”

  “I’d forgotten that about you.” His eyes narrowed in fake exasperation. However, Erika didn’t anticipate the kiss he dropped casually onto her cheek, nor the warm, intimate, very sexy smile he gave her as he perched on the lounger next to her and read the texts coming in on his mobile. “But, you’re right. They’re making progress at last.”

  “Good news?” Erika crossed her fingers hopefully.

  Aiden flinched. “Good and bad, I’m afraid. They’ve cracked a couple of the financial files only to discover there’s a great deal more money involved than we thought.”

  “How much?”

  “Don’t know yet. I’ll pick up the details on my laptop in your room.” He scrolled down his texts but found nothing else helpful.

  Aiden may have been focussing upon the disappearance of Erika’s money, but she was far more interested in the security of her music and hardly dared ask the next question. “Have they found the contract yet? Is the copyright still mine?”

  When the remaining texts failed to provide the answer, Aiden pressed his lips together in disappointment. “Sorry. Still nothing. But it’s early days. If it’s there, they’ll find it. Don’t worry.”

  But Erika did worry, and she’d lain awake until the early hours turning the problem over in her mind until she’d run down every mental dead end.

  “Assuming I can sue, will all this evidence be admissible in court? So far you’ve hacked into Marty’s accounts and I’ve stolen his laptop. We’re not exactly treading the right side of the law.”

  “Stop this,” Aiden commanded, taking her hands and forcing her to look at him. “My people know what they’re doing. If we use the proper channels, Marty will have time to hide everything. By slipping in under the wire, we can uncover a lot before he knows we’re on to him. I know I don’t have the greatest track record but you’ve got to trust me.”

  “I want to, but I’m terrified. A week ago, I had no idea this was going on. Now, I’m on the verge of bankruptcy and I might lose the rights to my own music. It would have been easier not to know.”

  Aiden looked deep into her eyes, seeing past her fear until he reached the strong seam of determination that ran through her character like granite.

  “You’re strong enough to deal with this,” he assured her, increasing the pressure on her hands as if afraid she would float away. “You’ve survived five years alone in a tough industry without resorting to drink or drugs and, in all that time, you’ve managed to keep on the right side of the media. However this turns out, I promise you’ll be fine.”

  Erika was desperate to believe him and had no choice but to leave everything up to him. There was a very thin dividing line between being taken care of and being controlled, and Erika had already worked out that Aiden and Marty stood on opposite sides of it. For the next few precious hours at least, she should lie back and let herself be watched over, instead of guarded, for once.

  She gradually relaxed. “If you say so.”

  “I do say so. Although I could kill Marty for what he’s done to you.”

  “Well that wouldn’t get me far. Bankrupt, no copyright and my only friend in prison for murder.”

  “Is that what I am? Your only friend.”

  Erika couldn’t tell whether the thought pleased him or not, but she saw the funny side. “The only one who knows the real me, anyway.”

  “You’re right there. I know every little foible.” A mischievous smile slid across Aiden’s face and he stretched out on the lounger next to Erika, his hands behind his head as he considered this. “Maybe I’ll sell your soul to the tabloids and have done with it.”

  “Do it.” Erika pretended she couldn’t have cared less. “But remember I can match you story for story.”

  He grinned and beckoned to a waiter to order orange juices. Sweat glistened at his throat and on his bare shoulders after his workout and he downed his drink in one when it arrived. “Why don’t you go for a run on the treadmill?” he suggested. “You’ve hardly moved all day.”

  “No trainers.”

  “Then come for a swim with me.”

  “No energy.” To prove it, she yawned. “And I want to finish my book. You go.”

  Realising Erika refused to be moved, Aiden kicked off his shoes and pulled his vest top over his head unselfconsciously, unable to resist a glance at her to see whether she’d been watching. Erika hadn’t meant to stare but couldn’t help herself and, had she not been holding her book, she’d have been tempted to reach across and allow her palm to echo the shape of his pecs, or press her icy glass against his chest to take the heat out of his skin.

  The intensity of his body heat travelled across the space between them, carrying with it the very masculine scent of exertion mixed with the scorch of overworked muscles, and they acted like a drug on Erika’s senses. She’d never liked her men squeaky clean, and Aiden’s natural physicality had always been an aphrodisiac, making him irresistibly impure in both mind and body.

  With a knowing look in her direction, Aiden jumped into the water right beside Erika, deliberately soaking her and laughing before swimming away. She peeped over the top of her book, enjoying the view of his glistening back and feeling every lustful urge reawaken, even though she’d spent the last two days trying to suppress them and telling herself that it could only end in tears.

  To her eyes, Aiden Thirstan was quite simply physical perfection – but he knew that already – as did every woman with a pulse sitting on the poolside. Three women swam past, smiling flirtatiously. He couldn’t help responding, as if it would have been rude not to, and said something that made them all laugh. Erika wished she could hear and dropped all pretence of reading as she watched him, trying to work out what was going on. Eventually, when one of the women seemed seriously interested, Aiden gestured in Erika’s direction and she looked across, giving Erika a poisonous stare.

  After a few more lengths at a furious pace, Aiden returned and heaved himself out onto the side, breathing hard and smoothing his wet hair back from his face.

  “It seems you have an admirer,” Erika observed, acting casual

  “Jealous?”

  “Not at all.” She did her best to sound offended. “I only wondered what you’d said to make her glare at me.”

  “I told her I was your bodyguard.”

  “Maybe you’d rather be watching her body instead. She’s very beautiful.”

  “Too high maintenance.” Aiden dismissed her immediately and lay down next to Erika to dry off. “Anyone who wears lipstick and big earrings to go swimming is bound to be hard work.”

  He relaxed on the lounger, tucking one arm behind his head as he fiddled with his phone and occasionally reading out texts to her. Where Erika had covered herself up with a robe, Aiden lay back in his shorts, his bare chest still glistening, the hair there matted and dark. She willed herself not to stare but she couldn’t fail to appreciate every line of the semi-naked man lying next to her, especially when he seemed so eager to distract her from her book with constant questions.

  “What’s your house in Los Angeles like?” he asked at one point, trying
to Google a picture of it on his phone.

  “Big. Too big,” she corrected herself. “Don’t tell anyone but I actually live in the maid’s apartment over the garage because it’s cosier and I can lock Marty out of it.”

  “Does he live with you?”

  “No – thank God. He’s a slob and I couldn’t stand it. But he’s forever holding parties at my house and telling me it’s all part of the Erika Fenn image.” She made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. “I get tired of fishing wine bottles out of the pool. What about you? Still in the Chelsea flat?”

  Where I caught you naked with another woman, she almost added but stopped herself.

  “No. I swapped it for the penthouse in my development overlooking Tower Bridge.” He showed her pictures of an ultra-stylish apartment with a stunning view down the river and incredible artwork on its vast white walls.

  “When do you move in?” she asked, taking in the emptiness of the spaces.

  Aiden laughed. “I’ve lived there for over a year now. But you’re right. It needs a woman’s touch.” He flicked through the rest of the photos on his mobile. “Not that I spend much time there. I live out of a suitcase these days.”

  “Me too. What I wouldn’t give for a place of my own in the country. Coming here’s reminded me how much I miss England’s peace and quiet.”

  “Then how about this?”

  Aiden pushed his lounger up against Erika’s and lay down again so he could talk her through more pictures, their bodies touching from shoulder to thigh. Even Erika’s thick robe didn’t diminish the intensity of the contact with Aiden’s body and her first instinct was to pull away but he anticipated this by slipping his arm under her head and pulling her closer so she couldn’t escape,.

  Erika’s entire body tensed so suddenly Aiden must have noticed but he carried on talking without hesitation, his soft, even tones gradually soothing her until she relaxed and moulded herself against him, line for line.