A Jersey Affair
Page 25
Just like Olly said to me, she thought.
‘I should be back by next weekend,’ he said. ‘I’ll give you a call then and maybe we can arrange to spend some time together.’
Paige hesitated, hating having to lie to him. ‘I’ve got a few things on, so I’ll give you a call.’ She ended the call before he had time to argue.
‘Come along, Paige. You’re going to miss your flight if you don’t get a move on.’ Olly shouted impatiently from his car.
Paige gave Clem a quick hug, ‘I’ll be fine,’ she said, touched to think they would miss her so much. ‘I know we’ve gone through everything, but I’ve left you a spreadsheet, and a list for contacts, that sort of thing. It’s on the computer, and I’ve printed out a copy too. You’ll find it on the side in the kitchen.’
‘Stop fretting.’ Clem sniffed. The car horn sounded once again. ‘You’d better go. Have a good break, and don’t worry about anything here.’
‘Thanks,’ Paige said. ‘I’ll call you soon, and remember, if Sebastian asks where I am, tell him I’m on a buying trip.’
‘Will do, now go.’
Olly carried her rucksack into the airport and waited while she checked in. ‘You’ll be fine,’ she said, patting him on the shoulder. ‘Now, get back to Clem and make the most of having the cottage to yourself.’ She forced a smile.
‘We’ll try,’ he laughed.
‘Right,’ she said, as the attendant handed her the boarding card, and returned her passport. ‘That’s me sorted. I’d better go. They’re already calling my flight.’
He hugged her tightly. ‘I love the thought of living at the cottage with your sister,’ he added, a dreamy expression spreading across his face. ‘I still think it’s odd you going back to Sorrento though. I’d have thought that would be the last place you’d want to visit.’
Paige bit her bottom lip. ‘It wasn’t the first place I thought of going, but I did love it there and I think that as illogical as it may sound to you, if I can go back and have fun without Sebastian, then I think I’ll have more chance of doing the same thing when I get home to Jersey.’
Olly scratched his head. ‘That sounds odd, but typical of your logic.’
‘You’re a good friend,’ she said. ‘Now, go. Clem will be waiting for you.’ Paige waved after him. ‘Don’t forget to look after her for me,’ she said before turning and heading for Security, not daring to look back.
Paige was pleased the hotel she’d booked was comfortable. It wasn’t as luxurious as the one where she and Sebastian had stayed during her previous trip, but although her room was smaller her bedroom shutters opened out to a perfect unfettered view of the Bay of Vesuvius.
‘The hotel is literally built into the side of the cliff,’ she told Clem a few days later over the phone. ‘I can never moan about being scared of heights again after this.’
‘I loved the photo you emailed to us of the scene you wake up to each morning.’
‘It sounds blissful. I’m pleased you decided to go.’
So was she. ‘Anything new in the papers I should know about?’ When Clem didn’t answer immediately, she sensed there might be something she wasn’t telling her. ‘Clem? Nothing’s wrong, is it?’
‘No,’ Clem said, a little too cheerily.
‘Hmm, I’m not sure I believe you.’
‘It’s only a bit more speculation about you and Sebastian, but no more stories about our family, thankfully. The shop is fine, so there’s no need to worry about that. Go and visit ruins, or something.’
It was a little bittersweet returning to the same place where she’d experienced so many memorably romantic evenings with Sebastian. Although it was out of season and the sun had lost some of its strength, Paige still walked around wearing a thin cardigan over her cotton dress. Memories of Sebastian were around every corner, and the familiar smells of spices filled the air as she wandered on her own through the narrow back streets enjoying the fewer crowds, stopping every so often to look in to a shop.
Towards the end of her second week, Paige put down the novel she was struggling to read and walked out on to her balcony overlooking Marina Grande. She gazed down at the shabby little marina with the houses crammed into the small bay, some with faded and peeling paint next to others brightly redecorated, and felt an urge to take a stroll down to the water’s edge.
She turned the last corner taking her down to the beach and conjured up pictures of 1950s movie stars frolicking in the shallow surf, or chatting over espressos with their photographer boyfriends. It was exactly how she imagined her grandparents had behaved in those far-off heady days when they toured the continent on a honeymoon filled with romance, and a belief that they could change the world for the better.
Breathing in the warm, salty air, Paige felt any remaining tensions seep away as she took a seat at a weather-beaten table near the edge of the café terrace. She ordered a large mug of hot chocolate and leant back in her chair to stare out across the small wooden fishing boats, the fishermen adeptly checking nets, as the sea lapped gently near their feet.
‘Did you seriously think I wouldn’t come looking for you?’
Paige caught her breath at the sound of the familiar, deep voice. Her stomach flipped and for a second she thought she must have imagined him being there. She turned to face his broad-shouldered outline, shielding her eyes from the glare of the morning sun.
He watched her silently.
‘Sebastian.’
He motioned to the waiter, ordering an espresso before sitting down opposite her. It was hard for her to read his expressionless face as he leant back.
She didn’t know quite what to say. This hadn’t been in her plans and she could feel her resolve weakening as she gazed at his handsome, although angry face.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked eventually, trying to fill the heavy silence.
Seb raised his eyebrows. ‘I’ve tried phoning you, and calling at your home not realising you weren’t there to answer. I decided I might have a little more success if I spoke to you face to face,’ he said not taking his eyes off her. ‘So, here I am.’
She noticed the small muscle working in his jaw, as he clenched his teeth together. She understood his reaction, but didn’t know what to say. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I’ve just told you,’ he said, his blue eyes piercing into her making her wish that the press weren’t so interested in everything he did and he’d never met anyone called Lucinda, or at least that she was still harassing her lottery-winning boyfriend.
When he didn’t elaborate, she continued. ‘I needed to get away,’ she said simply, looking out at the sea, not wishing to see the accusatory look in his eyes for a second longer than she had to, and definitely not wanting to let him see how much his presence had affected her.
Seb thanked the waiter and drank his espresso in one gulp. ‘From me, I suppose.’
She chewed her lip thoughtfully. ‘Not only you.’
He watched her for a moment. ‘Well, if not me, then what? Come on, Paige. The last time we spoke you were too busy to go away with me.’
She picked up her mug, still bemused at him sitting opposite her, ‘I suppose Clem gave in, and told you where I was,’ she said, knowing she was avoiding his question.
‘No, your sister’s very loyal.’
Unlike me, thought Paige feeling bad for putting Clem in such an awkward situation, and having to deal with what she should have sorted out before leaving Jersey.
‘There was no way she was going to tell me anything. She wouldn’t even admit you’d left the island.’
Paige watched his mouth, trying not to remember how good those lips had felt against her own. She owed him an explanation, she knew she did, but felt foolish and unable to decide how best to explain her actions. ‘Then how?’
‘I said she was loyal. What I didn’t say was how easy she is to read. Don’t blame her though, she did try to cover for you. I still don’t know why you left without mentioning you
were going away. I told you I’d speak to the senior editor at the newspapers and work something out with them. I don’t want your family brought into the spotlight any more than you do.’
‘You did, but we both know that there’ll be other occasions when they might have a quiet news day and go looking for scandal elsewhere in my family.’ If only the papers didn’t find his life so fascinating. ‘I suppose I should have said something to you before leaving,’ she said wondering if the slight raising of his eyebrows indicated anger, or surprise.
He leant forward, his face inches from hers, his voice quiet. ‘Why do you keep running away from me?’
She glanced away, hoping for some relief from the intensity of his stare. It didn’t work. ‘I didn’t,’ she lied. ‘I just needed to get away. A lot has happened over the past year, and I thought the best way to stop all this and work out what I want out of my life would be to get away from Jersey and everyone there.’ She waited to see if he believed a word she said.
He frowned by way of a response and then stared at her for a moment. ‘I was under the misapprehension that maybe I’d figure somewhere in that future.’ His elbows on the table, he threaded his fingers together and rested his unshaven chin on them. ‘What’s wrong? Why do I always seem to be chasing you? I’m not going to do it forever, you know. I do have some pride, though not as much as I thought, obviously.’ He leant back in his chair, as if his words had been a revelation to him too. ‘I wish you’d trust me.’
Paige winced, not daring to repeat how she couldn’t help thinking Lucinda had made a valid point about their lifestyles being so mismatched.
‘In fact I can’t believe I’m here.’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘You’re making me soft, Paige. Soon I won’t recognize myself at all.’ He sat upright, more agitated than she had ever seen him.
Unable to bear the look of confusion on his face, and aware she was the cause of him acting so out of character, Paige stretched her hand over the table, to stroke the side of his cheek. He did not move away from her touch, and the coolness of his skin on such a warm day surprised her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, aware she was making the most of what would probably be the last time she would be close enough to touch him so intimately. ‘I’ve thought about it constantly, and I can’t see how we can ever make it work between us.’
‘No?’ he asked, frowning. ‘You’re certain of that?’
She nodded. ‘Our lives are poles apart. I might be able to push aside my need for privacy to be with you, but how long would it be until I resented the invasion into our lives?’ She swallowed the lump in her throat.
‘I told you, I’d find a way around this.’
‘We both know that’s impossible. I think we need to break things off before either of us gets hurt.’ The thought of dragging out the agony of waiting for the moment when she had to walk away from him was too much. She stood up to leave.
‘Running away again, Paige?’ His eyes narrowed as he looked up at her. ‘Aren’t you even going to listen to what I have to say?’
‘There isn’t anything else you can say, is there?’ she asked finally, a dull pain in her chest.
Seb stood up and walked up to her. ‘Look at me, Paige. I agree there was some truth in what Lucinda said, but there’s always a way around every problem, if you look hard enough.’
She shrugged. ‘She’s not the only one to think this way though; my father said the same thing. Everything about our lives is different, and as much as I feel for you, I can’t be with you at the expense of my family’s privacy.’
‘And you won’t give me the chance to come up with a solution?’
She shook her head miserably.
‘This is ridiculous.’ He raked a hand through his hair.
‘I’d be grateful if you wouldn’t follow me this time.’
‘I won’t, if that’s what you want. You go,’ he raised his voice after her as she turned and walked away. ‘But whatever you may think, Paige, I love you and I’m not in the habit of giving up at the first sign of a problem, even if you are.’
Paige didn’t look back. She wanted him so badly, but no matter what he said, it wouldn’t change who they were.
Chapter Thirty-five
Seb clenched his fists as he watched Paige leave. He had to fight his instinct to follow her and make her listen to what he had to say. He knew though that if there was to be any hope for them at all, he needed to give her the freedom she craved to find out exactly what she did want from him, if anything. He couldn’t force her to listen, although right now he was so frustrated with her for insisting on being left alone that all he could think about was finding a way to make her change her mind.
He suspected she still didn’t trust that he no longer had feelings for Lucinda and wished Paige knew how much Lucinda repelled him. He was hard pushed to remember feeling anything much for her at all. He must have once, otherwise why go through the chaos that had been the preparations for their ridiculously flamboyant wedding that never finally happened.
It occurred to Sebastian that despite their other differences, both he and Paige had been jilted. He shook his head in amusement. It was time for him to get back to his meetings in Jersey and find a solution to this impasse.
Paige advised the hotel receptionist she would be leaving that afternoon. She didn’t want to chance Sebastian coming looking for her again. She was going to continue with this trip, however tempting it was to return home. Carrying her bulging rucksack down to the marina later that day, she waited silently for the boat to take her on to the nearby island of Ischia.
As the small craft glided quietly towards the island, Paige sat on the wooden bench and gazed back at the magnificence of the turquoise sea across the Bay of Naples. The tiny terrace where she had so recently seen Sebastian caught her eye and it gave her a jolt to think how easy it would have been to let him take her in his arms. Paige shook the thought from her head. No. To do that would only delay the inevitable pain she was experiencing now. Lucinda had made it perfectly clear how much Paige had been kidding herself about her feelings for Sebastian, and she knew her own limitations.
At least this way, there wouldn’t be any chance of her bumping into him again. She even persuaded herself that going to the island would cheer her up, especially as she had managed to find a room with a shopkeeper and his wife through the receptionist, before she left the hotel in Sorrento.
As soon as she stepped off the small wooden boat, Paige walked the ten or so steps to the shop door, and let herself in. The shopkeeper’s wife clapped her hands together as she welcomed Paige inside. She called for her husband, who limped through from the back room and shook Paige’s hand enthusiastically, the broad smile on his cheeky face confirming how thrilled he was to see her there.
The greetings over with, he led her down a long narrow corridor to a small, white room. Her temporary bedroom was at the back of the whitewashed building, overlooking a tiny, tranquil courtyard scattered with pots of brightly coloured plants and herbs. It was perfect.
Paige breathed in the familiar smell of the warm sand on the old floorboards. Yes, she decided immediately, she had made the right decision to get away.
Sitting down to have a black coffee with her new landlords, Paige made the best of her smattering of Italian and then spent her first day getting her bearings in the local area nearby.
She drifted off to sleep that night feeling more relaxed than she had felt for months, managing to push aside any nagging doubts about telling Sebastian they couldn’t be together. If this is what people mean by taking stock of their lives, she decided, I’ve done the right thing coming to Ischia.
The following days were a calming blur for Paige. She kept in contact with Clem, as promised, and her sister assured her the shop was running smoothly and the stories in the papers were diminishing in size and moving further back, away from the front pages.
‘Mind you,’ Clemmie said during a quick phone call. ‘Olly is driving me nuts with ideas for i
mprovements for your website. It’s so boring listening to him going on and on about it.’
‘Tell him to do whatever he thinks best,’ Paige told her.
She didn’t hear from Sebastian, although she hadn’t really expected to, and it was fine, or so she kept telling herself. Her skin slowly darkened from long relaxing walks in the sun. For once Paige began to feel as though she was regaining some of the natural zest for life her family had always admired in her.
She got to know a few of the locals when they popped in to the shop for a chat. They, in turn, invited her to join them for a meal at their homes. Best of all she enjoyed beginning and ending each day with a swim in the cool sea at the nearby beach. She enjoyed letting her mind wander as she explored the nooks and crannies of the island, keeping up to date with her suppliers by email at the antiquated internet café in by the marina.
Paige visited the other villages, on one trip picking up a colourful painting of her favourite cove unexpectedly cheaply, so small it could fit into the palm of her hand. Then, one morning, towards the end of her trip, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, and barely recognized the face looking back at her. She was surprised how refreshed she appeared, with no visible signs of stress on her face. She liked what she saw for once, and sighed contentedly. It was time to go home.
‘Ooh, I can’t believe you’re actually here, it feels like you’ve been away for longer than two weeks.’ Clemmie hugged her sister tightly, as soon as Paige stepped out into the Arrivals Hall. ‘You look amazing. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so gorgeous.’
‘Thanks, I feel really well,’ she said honestly, choked to note how much she had missed her sister. She raised her eyebrows and pointed at Clem’s bump. ‘Look at this.’ Paige said, touching the loose cotton top resting over her sister’s stomach.
‘I know, I’m suddenly beginning to look pregnant rather than just fat,’ she grimaced.
‘Rubbish,’ Paige laughed. ‘And I’ll bet that’s not what Olly says either, is it?’
Clem’s cheeks reddened. ‘No, he always tells me how sexy I look.’