Her shaky smile made the anger congregate in his gut again, enabling him to disregard the pain from the operation. Never before had a person managed to make him this angry.
And he didn’t even want to be angry—not now! Not right before he was about to meet his daughter.
“Hello, Patrick,” she greeted him with that sad, watery smile. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” he said curtly, before throwing an impatient look over his shoulder at the nurse behind him. “Can I at least walk now?”
The man in the pale-yellow scrubs inclined his head to hide his amusement. “Mr. Ashcroft, if you promise you’ll call me when you’re ready to return to your floor, you may enter the room without using the wheelchair.”
Since Patrick was not an invalid and didn’t want to be treated like one, he replied with a growl. “I don’t need a wheelchair. My legs are just fine.”
The nurse was unfazed. “You underwent major surgery yesterday,” he stated with indifferent friendliness, “so you’re going to have to take it easy for another while.”
Patrick huffed and struggled to get up out of the wheelchair, silently cursing how he moved like an old man—and in pajamas and a robe—in front of Amy. “I can walk back to the elevator and find my own room on my own,” he insisted.
From the corner of his eye, he saw the nurse nod at Amy and heard him utter a loud sigh. “I’m relying on you to call me, Mrs. Ashcroft. Your husband can’t get any stupid ideas about his health now.”
Patrick frowned at Amy when she nodded. As soon as the nurse left with the wheelchair, he growled, “You’re not going to call him. I can walk on my own two feet.”
“Jesus Christ, Patrick,” she whispered, giving him a look of concern. “You should listen to the nurses. You had surgery yesterday.”
His scowl deepened, but he had no pithy answer. Her concerned expression triggered all kinds of inscrutable emotions he didn’t want to think about right now. Instead, he cleared his throat. “How is she doing?”
“She’s still a little tired.” Aside from the scratches and bruises on her face, the dark circles under her eyes betrayed the fact that she hadn’t really slept for the last few nights. “But she seems to be getting better by the hour. She’s eaten something already, then she wanted me to read her a story, and then she slept a little. She just woke up again and whined about the IV, but … but when I told her you were coming to see her …” She exhaled loudly and had to swallow. “Since I told her that, she’s been excitedly waiting for you.”
He didn’t want to feel bitter, but when his heart had lurched at her words, he couldn’t manage to sound friendly. “What did you tell her before? Did she never ask where her father was?”
“Yes, she did,” Amy replied quietly, hugging herself. “When she asked about you, I always … I always told her that you loved her a lot but had to work all the time.”
He tensed, only to flinch immediately when the motion made his wound from the operation hurt. “You told her what?” His voice rose steadily. “That I had to work all the time, and that’s why I wasn’t there for her?”
“Patrick,” Amy whispered in alarm. “Please, not here.”
The anger made his nostrils flare, and he stuck out his chin. “You made me out to be the heartless idiot.”
She shook her head. “What do you mean?” she croaked. “You just saved her life, Patrick. You have no idea—”
“But what does my five-year-old think of me?” He barely managed not to grab Amy by the arms and shake her. “She’s going to think I never cared about her! She’s going to think I put my job before her! Is that your revenge for me not telling you about that damn business trip six years ago?”
“No!” She shook her head furiously. “No, of course not! I just didn’t know what to tell her.”
“How about the truth?” he snapped, not caring whether other patients or nurses could hear him. “You could have been honest and tell her you just disappeared without even telling me you were pregnant!”
“Just for your information,” she replied with shining eyes, “when I left, I didn’t know I was pregnant.”
“Is that supposed to make it any better?”
She stared at him and then shook her head. “No, it’s not, but I don’t think it helps that you’re yelling at me in front of our daughter’s room, either.”
Patrick snorted.
“For what it’s worth,” she added quietly, “I told Audrey last night that I lied to her before. She knows now that you didn’t know about her, and that you came to Chicago as soon as you heard she was in the hospital.”
“Oh.”
“Patrick.” She took a tentative step toward him. “You cannot imagine what it means to me that you helped her …”
“I didn’t do it for you,” he interrupted her gruffly. “I did it for my daughter.”
“I know that.” Her voice was firm now. “But I still want to thank you.”
He waved his hand dismissively and looked straight at her. “She’s not only your child, in case you’ve forgotten that.” He nodded at the door with an impatient expression. “I want to see her.”
“Okay,” she whispered and turned her back to him.
As Patrick followed her into the room, his rancor dissolved. A small, doll-like face brightened at the sight of them and beamed at him. The little girl was sitting on her bed, propped up by several pillows and holding a stuffed rabbit in her arm. She stared at him from bright green eyes.
Patrick possessed just enough presence of mind to close the door behind them. He didn’t want to share this precious moment with any onlookers. He watched Amy brush a strand of hair from her daughter’s face.
Their daughter’s face.
“Sweetheart,” Amy said, her voice more tender than ever before. “I told you I would bring along your daddy, right? Don’t you want to say hi to him?”
The girl gave him a charming smile. “Hello, Daddy,” she said with an excitement that sounded as if they’d known each other forever.
“Hello,” he murmured, feeling his facial muscles respond to the cheerful smile. “How are you doing, love?”
“I’m okay.” Acting with frank, unburdened familiarity, she lifted her small, chubby hand, which he had held in his for several long minutes on the first day. “But my hand hurts. Mommy says it’s necessary, because I need the medicine.”
He made a commiserative sound and took a few steps toward her, unable to resist the bewitching charm of the little girl. “Your mommy is right,” he agreed sympathetically. “But it’s still not fair that your hand hurts.”
Audrey nodded, her black hair bouncing, and gave him a wide-eyed look. When she spied a similar needle in his hand, she pursed her lips and sighed with sympathy. “You have an ouchie on your hand, too. Do you need medicine too?”
“Only a little bit. It doesn’t hurt much.”
Before he could blink, Audrey had grabbed him by the other hand and made him sit on the edge of her bed. He had expected a lot of things, but certainly not such a candid and confiding child who called him “Daddy” as if she’d never done anything else. She seemed to have no reservations about him.
Sitting at his daughter’s side, speechlessly watching her lower her head over his hand to study it, he felt such a strong happiness flood him that his throat tightened.
“Mommy and I had an accident with our car,” Audrey confided in him, frowning in a way that seemed vaguely familiar. Because he’d seen it in the mirror before, he realized with a start.
“I know, honey.” He glanced at Amy, standing beside her daughter, and smiled at her for the girl’s sake. “Your mommy called me and told me you were in the hospital. I’m very, very glad you’re feeling a little better already.” The temptation to touch her was too great, so he reached out and lightly stroked her baby-soft cheek. “We were very worried about you,” he added. “It makes your mommy and me very happy to see you smiling.”
With that sweet smile of hers, Audrey l
ooked into his face and then lowered her gaze. “Mommy told me you’re very nice and kind, Daddy. She also said you’d like me.”
Though he was still furious with Amy, he found himself giving her a grateful look as he took a deep breath. Focusing his attention squarely back on the little girl with a stuffed toy in her arms, he said, “Of course I like you, Audrey. I like you a whole lot.”
When she smiled, wrinkling her tiny nose, he saw a small gap in her teeth that he hadn’t noticed before. “I like you, too, Daddy.”
His heart skipped a beat. “Once you’re completely well again and allowed to go home,” he promised in a hoarse voice, “we’ll spend a lot of time together, love.”
“That would be great,” she whispered happily. “I’ve never had a daddy like the other kids. My friend Melly and her dad go swimming all the time. She can swim really good. Can you swim, Daddy?”
He nodded. “If you want to, I can teach you once you’re well.”
“Oh, yes, please!”
“And afterwards we can have peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches. That’s my favorite food. What do you think?”
The little girl’s green eyes went round with awe. “Mine, too, Daddy! That’s my favorite, too!”
“Really?” he teased her gently. “I thought I was the only one who liked bananas with my peanut butter.”
“No, really!” Audrey uttered a thrilled sigh. “Do you like Ariel, too? The little mermaid?”
He’d actually been forced to watch the movie with his nephews a few years before, so he was prepared in case she asked further questions after he cried in mock wonder, “That’s my favorite movie!”
Audrey chuckled with delight. “Mine, too, Daddy! Do you like lightning bugs?”
“Lightning bugs are awesome,” he concurred, which made her scoot even closer to his side, smiling blissfully.
While Audrey confided that she didn’t like carrots, loved cartoons, and had another friend named Hope, who had a tabby cat, Patrick sat next to her with the helpless feeling that he was falling head over heels for someone for the second time in his life. He barely noticed that Amy left the room at some point to give them some time alone.
***
“I’ve never met such a sweet little girl,” his mom gushed, looking pensively through the window of his hospital room into the hall. “She’s so adorable. I could have stayed with her forever, just watching and listening. And she’s exceptionally smart! Have you ever seen a child her age talk like that? Saying such clever, thoughtful things?”
Patrick was sitting in his bed working away at his laptop, and even though his mom was starting to get on his nerves, her words still made him smile proudly.
These fatherly feelings may have been extremely new and unfamiliar, but he wasn’t at all averse to hearing such things about his daughter. He agreed that Audrey could hardly be any prettier, smarter, brighter, funnier, or more charming. In other words—he thought his daughter was the best. And he, too, could have spent the whole day sitting at her bedside, watching her and listening to her squeaky little voice. But the five-year-old had to rest a lot, in between tests she was wheeled away to several times a day. Which meant he was forced to leave her alone from time to time, no matter how hard that was proving to be.
In his current situation, the urge to be with her was so strong that it scared him more than a little.
Since he’d met Audrey three days ago, he’d been helplessly under her spell. She’d rapidly wiggled her way into his heart, turning his emotional balance upside down. But one thing about that made him wary. The fact that Audrey’s mother had managed to charm him in a similarly rapid, overwhelming way six years ago. So much so that he’d basically forgotten his principles overnight and married someone he’d only known for three weeks.
Still, while his feelings for Amy were a thing of the past—and he knew nothing would ever make him forgive Amy—he also knew deep inside that he would never give up Audrey for anything in the world.
“And she’s so polite!” his mother was saying. “Amy raised a mighty fine little girl.”
Patrick gritted his teeth and threw his mother’s profile a scowl as he shut his laptop. “Is there something you’re trying to say?” he demanded.
His mother turned around and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, Patrick?”
The innocent expression on her face didn’t fool him. “I mean that you don’t need to mention her over and over and over again.”
“Who?”
“Amy,” he said through gritted teeth. “You know quite well that I don’t want to talk—or hear—about her.”
His mother looked at him as if he was the biggest idiot walking the streets of America. “Excuse me, my dear, but she is your daughter’s mother.”
“More importantly, she is the woman who kept my child from me for five years.”
“Patrick.” Eleanore Ashcroft sighed heavily and returned to the visitor’s chair by the bed. “May I give you some advice?”
“I’d rather you don’t,” he protested with a groan. “We both know whose side you’re on.”
“Honey,” she said in a placating manner, “I’m not on anyone’s side—”
“You are my mother,” he said, lifting his chin. “I’d expect you to give me a little emotional support. Instead, you’re taking the side of the woman who left me without a word of explanation, only to call me six fucking years later to tell me I have a daughter. You, of all people, should be seething with anger! Even Stuart and Barbara are seething!”
“What? How is this any of Stuart and Barbara’s business?”
Patrick put his laptop on the nightstand and turned toward his mother, crossing his arms over his chest. “Barbara called me this morning to ask after Audrey. You have no idea how upset she’s been since she heard I have a kid Amy has been keeping from me all these years.”
Eleanore shook her head. “Patrick, your sister has not been capable of rationally discussing marriages or relationships in general ever since her divorce. You know full well that she hits the roof whenever the issue comes up.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s wrong!”
His mom heaved a sigh that riled him. “Patrick—”
“Mom!” he barked with suppressed anger. “Amy failed to tell me that we had a child together! How do you think that makes me feel? And what on earth do you expect me to do? Fold my hands in my lap and thank her for hoodwinking me? What exactly do you think would have happened if Audrey hadn’t ended up in the hospital? Most likely, I’d never have learned about her at all!”
“First of all, you need to calm down,” Eleanore suggested quietly. “Then you should think about what your priorities are now. I’d say first is Audrey, and it will only be detrimental to her if her parents are fighting. If only for her sake, you and Amy need to find an amicable resolution.”
“And what does that look like, in your opinion?” He sounded disdainful, even though he didn’t mean to. “Am I supposed to thank her for leaving me in the dark for six years?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” his mother replied firmly. “But what you might do is reflect on what mistakes you might have made. No woman runs away, leaving her husband, on the spur of the moment.”
Incredulous, he spluttered, “Now it’s my fault that I didn’t know I had a daughter up until a few days ago?”
“Heavens, Patrick,” his mother groaned, “can’t you forget about whose fault it is for one minute and just think about whether you might have made some mistakes, too? Instead of blaming everything squarely on your wife?”
Patrick snorted and crossed his arms. His mother didn’t seem to be interested in understanding his point of view. “Stuart warned me you would react like this.”
“Your brother,” his mother said with amusement, “is definitely not the right person to take relationship advice from, Patrick. He hasn’t ever managed to date one woman for more than a week.”
“But he’s a lawyer, so he’s the right person to consu
lt to file for a divorce and sole custody.”
Eleanore gasped and bolted upright. “Patrick Seymour Ashcroft! You’ve lost it completely!”
“Not at all.”
She jumped to her feet. “You can’t take the child away from her mother!”
“Why?” he said bitterly. “That’s exactly what her mother did to me.”
The look on his mother’s face was like a punch to the gut. He could clearly see the horror in her eyes.
“Mom …” Patrick opened and then closed his mouth. He wanted to say something—to apologize, since he realized full well that he wasn’t being himself—but his life had been turned on its head. He was furious and happy at the same time. He wanted to break things and cry like a baby—and there was a dreadful feeling of losing control.
No, he’d never be able to actually take Audrey away from Amy, not for Amy’s sake, but for Audrey’s. It was clear the girl idolized her mother. And, truth be told, he couldn’t forget the despair in Amy’s eyes when he’d arrived at the hospital.
But he would never relinquish his daughter either. He wanted to see her grow up. He didn’t want to be the nice daddy who had to work all the time.
Eleanore was still angry. “I hope you aren’t serious, Patrick. Are you really considering trying to gain sole custody?”
With a heavy groan, he ran a hand through his hair. “You should know me better than that, Mom.”
“I should,” she said hollowly. “I would have vouched for you, slapped anyone who’d dare to call my son callous and cold. But since we’ve gotten here … I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”
The reproach stung. “That’s not fair, Mom. I’m the victim here.”
She shook her head. “The problem is you want to be the victim because that’s a lot easier than having to realize you might not be as innocent as you thought.”
Just one kiss (The Ashcrofts Book 1) Page 19