Gravitate

by Jo Duchemin

  “What?”

  “On the mat. That shouldn’t be there.”

  Sam got out of the car with me and walked up to the mat first. A bunch of carnations sat on the doormat. A card was placed with them. It simply read ‘I’m sorry, please call me on this number’ and listed a mobile phone number. I showed it to Sam.

  “He’s been here?” Sam asked.

  I started shaking, uncontrollably.

  “Don’t worry, I’m here, I’ll check the house with you.”

  Sam checked all the doors were locked, and closed all the blinds and curtains. We checked every cupboard and wardrobe, until he was sure nobody was hiding in the house. The panic, combined with the wine, left me feeling upset. I started crying, even though I would have begged every tear to disappear.

  “Claudia, do you want me to stay?”

  I nodded. “I don’t want to be alone, just for a little while.”

  “I’ll stay as long as you want.” They were words I’d heard before, but I didn’t care. I needed to hear them now.

  Chapter 26

  He stayed with me until the early evening, when the sun went down, and then he covered me with the blanket, just as Marty had once done, and left me alone. For a third time, he’d been ready to rescue me when I needed it. He saw himself out of the house, shutting the door firmly so I could hear it was closed properly. He took the flowers and the card with him – I didn’t want them left in my house. He promised to pick me up the next morning and drive me to the office, as he was concerned Tim might be watching for me to leave the house.

  I’d slept downstairs on the sofa for a while and then retreated upstairs to my room. Despite having checked over the house, I felt on edge, waiting for Tim to suddenly burst out of the wardrobe, or to be hiding behind the shower curtain.

  My sleep was disjointed; vivid, nonsensical dreams, broken by waking up with anxious palpitations. I longed for a dream like the one I’d had the other day – the one where I could feel Marty lying with me, where it felt like he was really here. I started crying at the thought, desperate to have that comforting presence of him. I felt something stick to the tears on my cheeks. At first, I thought it was a strand of hair, but as I moved it, I realised what it was – a feather.

  As far away as he was, as limited by his situation, Marty was still able to bring me comfort. I held the feather in my hand, caressing the delicate strands, feeling its softness, knowing it was the only piece of Marty I had left. I could feel sleep closing in on me and I didn’t fight it. Sleep could bring fleeting happiness.

  I was asleep, I knew that. I wasn’t lying on my bed, though. There were two different surfaces beneath me, one I couldn’t identify up to my ribs, but the other surface was wholly familiar, and I knew instantly that my head and chest were resting on Marty’s chest. His arms were wrapped around my back and the top of my head was being cradled under his chin. We fit together so perfectly. I could tell from his breathing that he was awake. He sounded content, complete. I felt him take in a deeper breath and I knew he was about to speak to me.

  “Claudia, don’t move a muscle, or you’ll wake up and leave me again.”

  Instinctively, I held my breath.

  “Keep breathing, darling, just keep still.”

  I resumed breathing but tried to stay perfectly frozen.

  “This isn’t a dream. It happened the other day. I don’t know how you do it, but when I send you a feather, your soul manages to find me while you’re asleep. You leave as soon as you wake up.”

  I processed the information. That’s why my dream with him in it had felt so real. It was real.

  “They will find out soon, I’m sure, and then they will put a stop to it. It’s so strange having a conversation where you can’t interrupt. I miss your non-stop questions.”

  I laughed at his statement and instantly found myself back in my bed, alone, with only a falling sensation in my stomach to tell me it had really been true.

  Chapter 27

  I was ready and waiting for Sam to collect me in the morning, watching out of the window of the living room. His red convertible arrived exactly on time and I could see him smiling at me as he approached. I locked the front door and double-checked that it was properly secure – I was still on edge that Tim might be lurking somewhere.

  Sam’s car was toasty warm as I got in and I carefully removed my hat, scarf and gloves, folding the scarf neatly and placing it on my lap.

  “You like them, then?” Sam asked.

  “They’re beautiful – I may have to keep wearing them in the summer, I love them.”

  “Maybe I’ll buy you something else to wear, then.”

  I shook my head. “You shouldn’t waste your money on me.”

  “It’s not a waste, you deserve happiness. You’ve had a shitty year, nobody is looking after you, it makes me feel guilty.” His eyes stayed focused on the road ahead.

  “Guilty?”

  He sighed heavily.

  “Sam?”

  “I don’t know how to admit this…”

  My brain started panicking, feeling overwhelmed – I’d started to trust him, to enjoy his company and it was all about to come down around me.

  “When your parents died, of course I was devastated. But I had to keep the business running, it became my sole focus, a way to avoid grieving. Then I found out that you were to inherit Bobby’s share – I honestly thought it would go to me, I mean, my will states that my share would go to him.” He paused. He always seemed so self-confident, so sure of himself, I’d never seen him hesitate before.

  “I don’t understand…”

  “Please, let me finish…It’s hard to say to you…When I found out you were getting half of this company, half of everything I’d worked so hard for, well, I became jealous I guess, angry.” He was gripping the steering wheel as though it was a life raft in a stormy sea. However, I didn’t feel threatened, just confused.

  “But you were so nice to me when we met…”

  He glanced over to me, his eyes glistening. “I did you wrong before we’d even met. I’m not talking about my behaviour since you’ve known me. I feel guilty for the way I acted before I met you. I desperately want to make it up to you. I want to tell you the truth. Did you know I called Melissa Talbot?”

  I shook my head. “She never mentioned it.”

  “I tried to convince her that it would be best if you just handed your share over to me, but she was adamant that you should not be swayed in your choice…so I decided I would try to convince you, by any means possible, to get you to give me the power you hold. I treated it like a game, formulising strategies I could try out on you – after all, you would be just a teenager, it should have been an easy win…but then I met you, and I didn’t want to play that game anymore.”

  I swallowed hard, trying to sort out the jumble of thoughts in my brain. “So you feel guilty for planning to do what you thought was best for the company?”

  “Oh, Claudia, why do you always want to see the good in people? I was doing what was best for me, I was selfish.” He was pursing his lips and shaking his head.

  “But you didn’t go through with your plans.”

  “No. And I had been willing to play dirty. I’m ashamed of myself. I can’t believe I even considered trying to take the company from you. You’ve already lost so much. You need someone to take care of you.”

  We’d arrived in the car park. Sam stared straight ahead, studying the ‘reserved parking’ sign.

  “Sam, look at me,” he turned towards me, guilt etched across his features, “don’t feel bad about this, really. You didn’t do any harm to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” I smiled at him, showing there were no hard feelings.

  He shook his head gently, but a smile was creeping onto his lips, “Claudia, you’re too forgiving.”

  “You should have he
ard what Andrea said to me on the first morning I came here – if I can forgive that, I can forgive pretty much anything.” I giggled, but Sam’s face remained serious.

  “What did she say?”

  “It doesn’t matter. She didn’t realise who I was, she thought I was a temp.”

  “Did she act all superior?” He rolled his eyes and looked out of the window.

  “Yeah, she thought I was going to try to flutter my eyelashes at you to get a job. It’s quite funny now I look back on it. I was glad she wasn’t here yesterday, I don’t think she likes me at all.”

  “You see that green car?” He nodded his head towards the direction he’d been looking in.

  “Yes…oh no, is that hers? Is she in?” I groaned slightly.

  Sam gave me a grin and nodded. “Do you want to have some fun?”

  I looked up at him, recognising features in his expression that Ben also shared. It was like looking at Ben’s future self. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Follow my lead…”

  He got out of the car and walked around to hold the passenger door open for me. He took my scarf from my hands and motioned towards my neck.

  “Do you mind?”

  I shook my head and he gently wrapped the scarf around my neck, lifting my hair over it. I could sense we were being watched from the reception area. Sam grinned at me. “Perfect, she’s spotted us already. Claudia, is it OK if…” he held out his hand to mine and, without thinking about it, I gave him my hand. “Wonderful, let’s really give them something to gossip about.”

  He led me into the reception area by the hand – it was the first time I’d held anybody’s hand since Marty had left, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable – perhaps because it was all an act, or perhaps because he had asked first. Andrea was shuffling herself back behind the reception desk, her cheeks blazing red. It was clear she’d been staring out of the window at us and she knew it.

  “Good morning, Mr Acton. Miss Lee.” Andrea smiled at Sam and grimaced at me.

  “Good morning, Andrea,” I replied politely, flashing a winning smile at her. She looked stunned and insanely jealous. Her eyes darted down to where Sam’s hand still held mine, then flashed back up to our faces as though searching for an explanation.

  “Isn’t it a wonderful morning?” Sam smiled at me and I heard Andrea give the tiniest gasp. “Andrea, Miss Lee and I will be working together in my office this morning. Please hold all calls. We are not to be disturbed. Claudia, may I take your coat?”

  He led me over to the coat stand in the corner of the room, well within Andrea’s line of vision, then stood behind me, gently easing my coat from my shoulders. He lifted the scarf from around my neck, letting his fingers linger on my skin for long enough that Andrea would see.

  “Mr Acton, will you be requiring tea or coffee? And Duncan called in sick, so there’s nobody on call for the rental properties.” Andrea looked at me through slanted eyes as she spoke to Sam.

  “Claudia – tea or coffee?”

  “Um, tea, please.” My improvisation skills were running out.

  “We’ll share a pot of tea please, Andrea. As for Duncan’s absence, just put through the emergency calls, please. Claudia and I would like to be alone, uninterrupted.” He turned back to me and gave me the biggest comedy wink I’d ever seen – it was all I could do to keep a straight face, as, behind Sam, I watched Andrea stare open-mouthed at me. Sam grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door that led to the PA’s office. The moment we were out of Andrea’s earshot, we both dissolved into fits of laughter.

  “Did you see her face? All puffed out from running back to the desk?”

  I glanced down. “Sam, why are we still holding hands?”

  “Sorry,” he said and quickly withdrew from my touch, “right, what shall we be doing when she comes in with the tea?”

  “Working?”

  “Can’t you think of anything better than that, drama queen?”

  “I’m better when I work from a script, improvising isn’t my thing. Besides, I think she’s had as much as she can take for one day, I don’t want to be mean.”

  “You’re so nice. Far too sweet for your own good.” He looked away, just as Andrea came in with the tea.

  “Mr Acton, I hate to disturb you both when you’re working,” she glanced around, noticing that there was no work going on, “but the heating system at Kingfisher Apartments seems to have failed.”

  “What did I tell you the other night, Claudia?” Sam winked again behind Andrea’s back as she flinched at the mention of night. “Heating systems break down in winter all the time. Andrea, please tell them that Miss Lee and I will be there in twenty minutes.”

  “You’re taking her, I mean, Miss Lee, with you?” Andrea sounded incredulous.

  “Of course, she’s a company director, and she’s learning the ropes. She impressed everyone at the Black Horse yesterday.”

  “Yes, Mr Acton.” Andrea looked hurt that he’d taken me to the Black Horse. My phone beeped as she left the room.

  “Sorry, I meant to put that on silent,” I said, digging around in my handbag for the offending item.

  “It’s fine, why don’t you read and reply while I pour the tea. Actually, I was thinking last night, we should really swap numbers – I was rather worried about you, but I had no way to contact you. And I’d like you to have my number, for emergencies.” He didn’t look at me as he poured the tea.

  “That’s a good idea…oh no, it’s Jade again, she said she found my scarf and gloves and Tim went to return them to me but I wasn’t at home.” I bit my lip, forcing myself not to cry.

  “Good job you weren’t at home, heaven knows what that psycho would have done if you had been there.” Sam put the teapot down with more force than was necessary.

  “What should I do?”

  “Text her and tell her to keep the scarf and gloves for herself and to tell Tim to leave you alone. Seriously, Claudia, this is getting close to harassment, I’ll go with you to the police if you want to press charges against him.” Sam looked at me and I shook my head.

  “I don’t want to make a fuss,” I said, typing out the reply he’d suggested and sending it.

  “I just want you to be safe.” He stared at me and the weight of his look made me feel the need to look away. The silence was penetrated by my phone, beeping again.

  I’ll bring the scarf to you, when will you be home? Whatever Tim has done, don’t hold it against me. Xx

  I showed it to Sam, who scowled at the message. “Some friend she’s been – she’s let you down twice, putting you in danger and she’s acting like you’re the bad person.”

  “She’s just a bit flighty, that’s all. She doesn’t think of the consequences of her actions, she doesn’t mean any harm.”

  “You really are far too forgiving. I don’t like the idea of you telling her when you’ll be home, what if he finds out? Get her to bring the scarf and gloves here, where there are other people and it’s safe. She can come this afternoon.”

  I nodded, “I’m much more comfortable with that.”

  “Good, now, let me take you on your first call out. Be prepared.”

  Kingfisher Apartments had been one of my dad’s developments, taking a disused post office and turning it into a complex of luxury flats. It was near the town centre and attracted highflying occupants, people who wanted to be able to have their share of the nightlife and be able to commute to London easily. Unfortunately for us, most of those occupants appeared to be off work for the Christmas break and they were not happy at having no heating. When Sam and I arrived, we were greeted with some choice words.

  “I know this is frustrating, but shouting at us won’t help to rectify the situation. I promise we will do our best to get everything working properly as soon as possible.” Sam was doing his best to calm down the angry homeowners.r />
  “This place has only been finished a few months, how can there be problems already?” one woman, with a screeching voice, asked.

  “I paid over the odds for my flat, I expected it to be filled with top quality products, not shoddy heating that breaks down at the first sniff of frost.”

  “I expected better than this.”

  Sam seemed immune to the complaints, but they upset me. I produced my calming turquoise mist again, waited for it to work, and then cleared my voice and spoke to the angry people.

  “I’m really sorry that this happened, it’s the worst time of year for it, I understand that. If you let Sam go and have a look at the problem, I’m sure he’ll be able to sort it out quickly; and while he’s doing that, I’ll happily listen to any other complaints you have so that we can make everything perfect for you.” I glanced at Sam, who shot me a grateful look and disappeared into the basement, where he suspected the problem lay. The residents had quietened down and I waited for someone to tell me what else needed to be fixed.

  “My neighbour keeps leaving his bicycle in the hallway,” the shrill lady commented.

  “Right. Have you talked to him about this?”

  “Not yet,” she admitted.

  “I’m new to the company, I don’t know the plans for this development, I’ll admit, but is there somewhere else that he could safely store his bike?” I hoped the residents would take pity on me as I was trying to help them.

  “There is a bike shed, in the communal garden area,” a fat man commented.

  “Perfect,” I said.

  “But the roof was damaged by vandals last week,” the fat man added.

  “So…if the roof is repaired on the bike shed, then this lady’s neighbour won’t have to leave his bike in the hallway and the problem is solved. Do you know when the problem with the bike shed roof was reported to the maintenance department?”

  They all looked at each other, blankly.

  “It hasn’t been reported yet? Not to worry, I’ll let them know as soon as I get back to the office and try to get it sorted out as a priority. I’ll then ask for a memo to be sent out to all the flats as a courtesy to let you all know, especially your neighbour,” I smiled at the shrill lady, “that it is ready for use.”