Love Bites

by Campbell, Jamie

  “Hey, Anne.” I turned to face Tamara, my co-worker. “Did you order the new European brochures on Saturday?”

  “No, sorry, I didn’t work this weekend.”

  “Oh, you didn’t? Huh, I thought you did.” A frown marred her toffee complexion as she tapped per pencil on the desk.

  “No, not me,” I replied, swiveling back to my own computer screen.

  If I thought that conversation was strange, it only got worse from then onwards. Nobody noticed my absence all weekend, despite the fact that I had worked every weekend since I started at the travel agency.

  Nobody cared about me enough to ask why I didn’t work this past weekend. Nobody cared enough to ask why I was annoyed that they assumed I had been there.

  Nobody cared.

  Except Keegan. I managed to last until my lunch break but that was my tipping point. I sat in the back of the store and opened up an internet browser, doing a search on Keegan Stewart. Perhaps information would get him out of my mind. If I saw how wonderful his life was, maybe I would be convinced that I had done the right thing.

  There were plenty of hits for him, all related to his photography. Reading through his growing list of accomplishments was impressive. He had won the country’s highest honor for photojournalism not once, but twice. He was a star in the community.

  He even had his own website.

  I clicked through the galleries, neatly organized by subject matter. They were breathtaking. In a single shot he managed to tell an entire story. Even a photograph of a tree told its struggle for survival, its will to live and contribute to the environment. I felt things for a tree, they were that good.

  The next gallery was a collection of his award winners. I stopped, dead. My own face stared back at me. Not the jaded, serious one I wore now. But the face of a fifteen year old, one that was still able to laugh and dream. I was looking at the sky, caught in some giggling fit about something. I often was when I was with Keegan.

  I couldn’t reconcile the girl in the photograph to the woman I saw in the mirror. She seemed like two different people but I knew they were one and the same. I couldn’t remember when Keegan had taken the photo, but he’d won his first award for it anyway.

  For Keegan to like that photo so much he entered it into the competition, it must have meant something to him. There was some writing underneath it so I scrolled down until I could see it all:

  Soul mates: sometimes they are in your life forever, sometimes you just wished they were.

  Keegan referred to me as his soul mate. I always thought the same about him when we were growing up. Anne didn’t believe in such nonsense, but Annie did.

  I missed Annie.

  The thought struck me like a bolt of electricity. I had spent so many years telling myself that Annie was weak and let herself get hurt, that Anne was strong and needed to stay that way. Yet it had been Annie who found the courage to leave and survive.

  What if I could be both?

  Maybe I should contact Keegan. At the very least I needed to apologize for causing the argument with him. He had only been trying to be nice to me and I threw it all back in his face.

  There was only a contact form on his website, but it was better than nothing. I started filling in the fields, unsure exactly what I was going to say when I reached the message box. Maybe I’d lose my nerve by then.

  “Anne, you have a customer.”

  “I’m on my break,” I replied, still staring at the screen.

  “He says it’s urgent.”

  They always thought their travel plans were urgent. Still, I glanced up anyway. If it was one of my regulars, I couldn’t be rude to them.

  But my colleague was wrong. It wasn’t a customer. It was a man holding a bunch of flowers – tulips, my favorite. Annie’s favorite.

  The man was Keegan.

  Chapter 7

  For a moment, my heart stopped. I actually wondered if I was dreaming the whole thing. Then my face flushed with embarrassment as I realized I was stalking him online while he was standing right in front of me.

  I quickly closed the web browser and stood. Everyone else in the store faded away, leaving just the two of us. I had no idea what he was doing there, just that he was there.

  Nor did I know what the hell I was going to say to him.

  Every step I took only confused me more. But like a magnet drawn to steel, I had to get closer to him. I didn’t stop until I was so close I could smell the flowers.

  “These are for you,” he said, holding out the bouquet. “I hope you still like them.”

  “I do, thank you.” That was me done, I was all out of words. My heart was threatening to swell so large it would no longer be able to fit within my ribcage. I couldn’t believe he was there. Standing in front of me.

  But I couldn’t get too excited. I wasn’t entirely sure why Keegan was there. It could have been out of pity or some misguided attempt to undo the argument we had on Parson’s Ridge.

  “I didn’t know if I would be able to find you.”

  “You did.”

  He looked around nervously. This was so painful. We used to finish each other’s sentences and now I didn’t know what to say to him.

  I couldn’t take the stares of everyone watching. “How about we grab a coffee?” I suggested. Keegan agreed, relief flooding his face.

  Taking a moment to leave the flowers in the staff room, I gave them one wistful look before we crossed the road to enter my usual café. Every morning for the past three years I had ordered a vanilla latte, today was no exception.

  We took a seat at the back, making sure none of my co-workers could see us. Not that they’d really care enough to spy on me, but I was still paranoid. Part of me really wanted to keep Keegan to myself. Not infect him with my life.

  “So how did you find me?” I asked. Somebody needed to break the silence and I guessed that would have to be me. He had already conceded so much in turning up here in the first place.

  “You mentioned where you worked at dinner with my family. I called head office and told a few lies until they told me which branch you worked in,” Keegan replied. That seemed like a lot of trouble to go to for me. Especially when I had yelled at him the last time we had seen each other.

  “Why?” I asked. My voice squeaked out involuntarily. I didn’t really want to know the answer, because Keegan probably only felt sorry for me. I couldn’t bear to hear him actually say those words.

  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before our order arrived. He had a few extra moments to ponder his answer until we were alone again.

  Considering he was taking so long to respond, I definitely didn’t want to hear his explanation. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

  “No, I want to. I just don’t really know how to explain it.”

  “So don’t.”

  His hand slid across the table and found mine, covering it with warmth. “I’m going to try, but don’t laugh if it sounds corny, okay?” He waited until I nodded my head in agreement. With his blue eyes drilling into me and his thumb caressing my hand, I probably would have agreed to pretty much anything.

  He hesitated again before starting. “When we were little, I used to think we had a string that went between us. Like, somehow, we were connected in a way I would never understand. All I knew was that I had this pull to you that I couldn’t explain.”

  I knew exactly what he meant, but I didn’t say anything. I just nodded so he would continue. I couldn’t even breathe until I heard more.

  “The older we got, I thought it was because we’d spent past lives together or something. Like the universe wanted us to be together, forever and always. So when you left, it was like a rubber band being snapped. I thought that link was gone for good and nothing made much sense after that.”

  I could apologize a thousand times over and it wouldn’t be enough. But one more couldn’t hurt. “I’m really sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

  Keegan shook his head. “I know,
you don’t have to say it again. But I was pretty lost for a while. A fifteen year old teenage boy trying to figure out a girl was never going to end well.” He smiled, revealing the dimples in his cheeks. They had never changed.

  “But it did end well. You became a successful photographer. I wouldn’t call that an unhappy ending.”

  “The moment I was old enough, I left New Orleans. I told everyone it was so I could pursue photography and take amazing pictures. In reality, a part of me was looking for you. Everywhere I went, I thought I saw your face. I’ve spent the last ten years searching for you, Annie.”

  He squeezed my hand and it was all I could do to hold back the tears. Ever since I left home I thought I had seen Keegan in crowds. I would see him for just a moment before he turned into some other guy, one that didn’t really look like him at all.

  I guess I had been searching for him too. I just wasn’t brave enough to admit it because it meant I had to acknowledge the past.

  Oblivious to the thoughts running through my head, Keegan continued. “When I saw you at the airport, it was like that string attaching us was firmly in place. I was still drawn to you, I still felt linked. Even now, I feel it. I love you, Annie. And even if you don’t feel the same way, I needed you to know.”

  An internal war was raging inside my head. Keegan didn’t deserve to be pulled into my messed up life, he deserved so much more.

  But his eyes were pinning me in place. They were filled with nothing but love and hope. I never thought anyone could look at me like that again, not after what Peg did to me.

  I loved him with my entire heart, I always had. From the plucky kid who warned him he better not give me cooties, to the teenager who went to jelly every time he glanced her way, to the twenty-five year old woman who felt butterflies when he smiled. It had never changed.

  I was getting my second chance.

  I flipped my hand over in his so our fingers could intertwine. “I love you too.”

  A slow smile spread across his lips, quirking them at the edges. “Good. Because we have a lot of time to catch up on.”

  Chapter 8

  My new favorite thing in the world: catching up on lost time. I spent the next month in Boston with Keegan. He showed me everything there was to see. I had enough money saved from working all those weekend for years to take time off.

  The highlight was definitely his house.

  We made up for all our lost time apart, acting out the things we could only dream about when we were fifteen. More importantly, we got to know the adult versions of each other. Keegan’s intensity as a teenager had grown into a fierceness he held within him. It was sexy as hell.

  Over that month, something within me healed. I would probably always hate Peg for the way she spun my life in a horrible new direction, but I could live with it. I could remember the parts of my life I had locked away without being overwhelming by the stinging pain in my chest.

  I put my wholeness down to Keegan. We talked… a lot. He reminded me of all the great things my Dad and I had done together growing up. He even held some of the memories of my mother that I had long forgotten. Keegan was my memory keeper and I would always be grateful for that.

  In a way, I knew I was always meant to return to New Orleans. In his final act, my father had reunited me with the one person in the world I needed most. Even from the hereafter, he knew what would make me happy.

  And, my God, did Keegan make me happy. We approached our relationship as two adults, not the teenagers we were. It allowed us to fall in love all over again and be accepting of the people we were today. Not the ghosts of the past.

  By the end of the month, I had given notice on my apartment and applied for a transfer at work. Keegan offered to move to New York but it wasn’t what I wanted. I needed a fresh start and had never been opposed to moving cities. God knows I’d done it enough over the last ten years.

  But I had a feeling Boston was going to be the end of the line. I had found a place for my heart and wherever Keegan was would be home for me now. It always was, I just wasn’t brave enough to believe it.

  It still seemed surreal that I got a second chance with Keegan. It would have been so easy to let him slip through my fingers altogether. When I think about how lucky I was, how deeply he loved me, I just wanted to burst with the warmth that flooded me.

  Anne was gone. She wasn’t needed anymore. All that hurt no longer existed inside of her. She didn’t have to be so strong anymore. Finally, Annie was back. And I embraced her like never before.

  VALENTINE’S DAY SUCKS

  Chapter 1

  The table was set, the candles were lit. The New York City skyline was twinkling out the window. Romance was in the air and I had gone to a lot of trouble to cook the perfect meal.

  It was going to be a romantic Valentine’s Day even if it killed me.

  For all my twenty-four years I’d dreamed of a night like this. I’d paid my dues, sat lonely at home, watched happy couples fall deeper in love. This year it was going to be my night.

  All I needed was for Ricky to get out of bed and join me. I couldn’t wait to see the look of surprise on his face. I’d been so careful to keep everything a secret, going to great lengths to make sure not to wake him. He hadn’t finished work until mid-morning, pulling an all-nighter as head of security at the local college campus.

  The roast dinner was filling the apartment with a delicious aroma. My stomach was rumbling just thinking about it.

  Ricky and I had been together for just over two years. We never spent a Valentine’s Day together because of our crazy work schedules. This was our first one and I wanted it to be special.

  The bedroom door swung open as Ricky staggered out, still half-asleep. He wiped at his face as he noticed me. “Alice, what are you doing here?”

  I stepped away from the table, gesturing to the beautifully decorated place settings and candles. “I’m surprising you. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

  My heart leaped into my throat while I waited for the happiness to grace his features. I could picture him running over to me, wrapping me in his strong arms and kissing me all over.

  That was how it was supposed to go.

  Ricky just stood there, his mouth gaping and his shoulders slumped. “You’re supposed to be at work.”

  “Yeah, I begged and pleaded until someone swapped with me. I’m going to be working the late night shift for months to make up for it.” A nervous laugh escaped my lips. Why didn’t he appear happy to see me? I was his girlfriend, after all. And it was Valentine’s Day. It was a good thing we were together.

  “You shouldn’t have done that, babe.”

  “I wanted to.”

  A knock on the door interrupted the awkward silence lingering in the air between us. Ricky’s gaze went from me to the door and then back again. His hand raked through his ruffled hair.

  “I wonder who that could be,” I said as I made my way to the door. We rarely had visitors, we worked so much it was difficult to meet new people.

  “Babe, don’t. It’s probably someone selling something,” Ricky called out, hurrying across the room to intercept me.

  “I can’t leave them out there,” I replied. “I have to see who it is.”

  I reached the door only moments before he did and pulled it open. A woman was standing on the stoop. Her long blonde hair fell to her waist, her boobs were pushed up so high I’m surprised they didn’t choke her. Her cheap perfume wafted in with the breeze.

  “Who are you?” she asked, her squeaky voice laden with attitude.

  “Alice, I live here. Who are you?” I shot back.

  “Like I’m telling you. Where’s Ricky?”

  He pulled the door open wider so she could see him standing with me. Dread was making its home in the pit of my stomach.

  Ignoring the Barbie-wannabe, I turned all my attention to Ricky. “Who’s this and why is she knocking on our door on Valentine’s Day dressed like a hooker?”

  “I’m not a hooker!” t
he woman exclaimed.

  Ricky was still pushing his hand through his hair, trying to find the words to say something. If he didn’t start explaining soon, I was going to beat the answers out of him.

  “Ricky…” I warned.

  “You were supposed to be at work,” he said, as if that explained everything.

  My mind reeled with the realization of what was happening. I didn’t want to believe it. I had to be mistaken. “Ricky, who is she?”

  The girl barged into the apartment, making herself at home like this was not her first visit. “I’m his girlfriend. So you should leave,” she said. “I’ve been telling Ricky for months to drop you but he didn’t want to make your mental situation any worse. I said it wasn’t his problem.”

  I saw red. “My mental situation?” I screamed at Ricky. “And what is wrong with my mental situation? Because as far as I can tell, trusting you is the only crazy thing I’ve ever done.”

  Ricky took a step closer to me, lowering his voice so the hooker couldn’t hear. “I had to tell her something. I love you, Al. I made a mistake, I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry? Are you kidding me?”

  “You should leave,” hooker girl said, so matter-of-factly I wanted to punch her in the face.

  I wasn’t exactly proud of what I did next but I would do it again in a heartbeat. If the tramp thought I had mental health issues, I was going to give her a front row seat.

  “Get out! Both of you just get out!” I screamed repeatedly. Then I started pushing. I thrust my hands against Ricky’s chest and shoved him out the door. His new girlfriend yelled back at me with every name under the sun. Eventually, she suffered the same fate and was kicked out.

  Slamming the door, I was finally alone.

  I slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor as the tears started. The perfect dinner table was mocking me, directly in my line of sight.