Blood Haze

by L. R. Potter

  Now she felt… scattered, alone, and afraid. What scared her most was that she’d have to live the rest of her life feeling this way. The last few days, while being busy, had been draining – both physically and emotionally. Karmyl had been by her side for most of it. But at night, when she’d been left alone in her house – the house, she’d been attacked in – those feelings of isolation and fear returned tenfold.

  She’d not slept for over an hour at a stretch of time since she’d left Night Shade. If every single, little noise didn’t compel her to get up, the dreams – or glimpsing did. She’d even made a little pallet in her closet to sleep on, thinking that would help… it had not. Her mind and body were exhausted. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep. Sleep and not think… and certainly not dream. Wherever she went, whoever she met, she would study them to see if they were the one who had broken into her home, had placed their mouth on her neck, and had bitten her. What kind of crazy person did that? She swallowed painfully then, as fear had dried out her mouth and throat.

  To turn her mind away from Drew and his presence, she tilted her head back to the right. Just past Karmyl’s knees, she saw Lynx’s black pants, with their perfect crease. She’d been surprised when he’d shown up today for the funeral. She was sure he’d been prompted by Karmyl. He just made her feel worse. What with his neatly trimmed beard and mustache, and neatly-pressed suit. He looked cool and put together, while she felt wrung-out, and vainly knew she looked awful. That he’d thought so as well had been obvious.

  When he and Karmyl had arrived at the church, he’d walked in hesitantly. Then he’d walked straight to her and had placed a cool hand against her cheek. “Arabella,” he’d said in his softly-accented voice.

  Even in a church with her brother’s body not laying five feet behind her, she still hadn’t been able to stop the shiver his sexy voice had on her when he’d spoken her name.

  She’d looked up into his deep, black eyes and for an instant, she’d seen compassion, and as always, she’d felt better. Quickly though, other things she’d not been able to identify flashed through those same eyes, and as if she’d burnt him, he’d immediately dropped his hand and stepped away from her. That he’d found her lacking and that his presence was a duty… that had been so very apparent.

  She jumped when she felt a hand land on her shoulder, then tensed when she realized it was Drew’s. She tightened her jaw, but refused to meet his eyes. She didn’t want to be angry at him… she wished things could go back to the way they’d been before, but if wishes were horses we’d all take a ride, as her mother used say. That he was sorry, she was sure. That he wished he could take it all back, she was certain. Still, she wasn’t ready to forgive him. She’d been to the hospital every day to check on him and had even arranged for a car to get him to the funeral, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. She just thought it was the right thing to do.

  Frustration had Lynx sitting rigidly in the pew. Frustration at Karmyl for forcing the issue of him attending the funeral… frustration at himself for not overriding Karmyl… frustration at the shadows he’d seen in Arabella’s eyes… and frustration that he gave a damn one way or the other. He cut his gaze over to Drew Larkin when he saw his hand land on Arabella. He saw Larkin look at Arabella’s bowed head with such sadness and longing, he wanted to snatch the man out of the wheelchair and beat him senseless. He didn’t deserve her.

  When he’d first entered the church and had seen her looking so lost and devastated, he’d been unable to resist going to her. He’d wanted to wrap her in his arms tightly and protect her from any and all tragedies. This need had made him angry. He didn’t want this kind of attachment to a human again. He’d made it his business not to become attached. She’d just looked so… broken. He snatched his eyes away from her. He needed to get out of here and away from her. This was not going to happen!

  He listened with half an ear to the minister as he droned on and on about the hereafter and God not putting more on a person than they could bear. He scoffed to himself. He wondered how humans could believe all that drivel. An image of Arabella’s face when he’d first seen her today crossed his mind. He was sure she’d had more than she could bear, yet her God had not intervened. Celeste in a bloodied tub of water, floating lifeless, next filled his vision. She’d proven she’d received more than she’d been able to bear.

  ~X~

  Lynx stood, leaning against his black sedan, with his ankles crossed, waiting impatiently for Karmyl and Arabella. How he’d gotten roped into driving them to Arabella’s for the repast was beyond him. He raised the cuff of his suit jacket and glanced once more at his thin, gold watch. He’d been standing here for what felt like an eternity, but was actually only thirty-five minutes. He watched as a chauffeur helped Drew Larkin into a car before driving off. Good riddance, he thought.

  There were several people gathered on the sidewalk outside of the church, waiting to pay their respects to Arabella, he assumed. He straightened when he finally saw Karmyl emerge from the church, her arm draped over Arabella’s small frame. Arabella was looking down as Karmyl said something into her ear. Arabella nodded at whatever had been said.

  They’d just stepped off of the last step onto the sidewalk when an older woman moved quickly toward them. As Lynx watched, the woman drew back her hand and slapped Arabella sharply across the face. Arabella’s head jerked back and Karmyl stepped in between the two women. Anger burned hot in his veins and he moved quickly to the gathering crowd.

  “… where’s the justice for my Maggie?” he heard the woman shriek. Arabella laid a restraining hand on Karmyl’s arm as Karmyl made to speak.

  “I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” Arabella murmured to the shrieking woman.

  “You being sorry isn’t going to bring back my Maggie. She was wonderful. And your family killed her. She’s dead because of your idiot brother!”

  The woman once again drew back, and while Arabella tensed to accept the blow, Lynx had had enough, and stepped in between the two women. He placed an arm around Arabella’s waist and moved her and Karmyl swiftly away from the group. He guided them across the street to his sedan, opened the back door, and ushered the two women inside. He cast one more disdainful look toward the woman who was now screaming obscenities.

  He glanced at Arabella’s bowed head as fury rolled through him. This was definitely more than she could bear, which just once again, proved his point. Smoothly, he slid behind the wheel, and glanced into the rearview mirror at Karmyl, who met his gaze, her lips thinned. “Bitch,” she mouthed to him.

  He found his gaze, more often than not, flickering up into the rearview mirror to glance at the very still Arabella. She sat staring out of the window, dry-eyed. He saw her slowly shake her head and heard her whisper, “No justice.”

  That she assumed the blame for her brother was obvious. His lips tightened. He wondered what had happened in her life to make her feel she had to accept the responsibility of the world.

  As they pulled into the driveway of her family-home, Arabella heaved a silent sigh. She was tired and wanted the day over, but there was still so much to do.

  “Thanks for driving me home, Mr. Rogan,” she said, dismissing him from any duty of staying. Turning to Karmyl, she said, “Thanks for everything. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  Karmyl laid a hand on her arm. “We’ll come in and help for a little while.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Arabella said with a tight smile.

  “I know,” Karmyl said kindly.

  Arabella glanced at the back of Lynx’s head. “At least let your brother go. I’m sure he has plenty of things that require his attention,” she said.

  “Nonsense. He’s happy to help as well,” Karmyl said.

  Arabella saw other cars pulling up along the curb. Not having time to argue, she just nodded and said, “Thank you.”

  When all was said and done, Arabella was thankful for both Karmyl’s and Lynx’s assistance. They helped put out food and ensu
red the platters stayed filled. Lynx walked around like a waiter and made sure everyone who wanted a drink had one.

  She’d been surprised at the number of people who’d shown up. People she’d catered for; those she saw everyday on her run; people from the club; and, of course, Drew. He’d sat in his wheelchair looking forlorn. She wanted to feel sorry for him, but her sympathy was all used up.

  As she glanced about the house filled with people who’d come to help her grieve over Ian, she’d never felt more alone… alone and claustrophobic. Needing to get away, she grabbed a plastic cup filled with wine from the counter and slid the glass-doors, which led to her backyard, open and slipped outside. Once she’d closed the door, she became aware at how loud the noise had been on the inside.

  She slipped her high-heeled shoes off and walked barefoot to the old, high-backed, wicker swing, which hung from the mammoth oak-tree. She’d just come around to the front of the swing, when she realized someone was already sitting on the swing. And not just someone, an intimidating someone… Lynx Rogan.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was out here,” she said as she turned to head back to the house.

  “Wait. Have a seat. You look like you could use one,” he said smoothly.

  She flinched a little at his words. He was just so put together, while she was far from her best, and it made her self-conscious. She wavered. She glanced at the crowd of people in the house and knew she wasn’t ready to go back in there yet. She glanced back and he patted the seat next to him.

  Slowly, she returned to the swing and sat down, her body sighing in sweet relief of relaxation… even next to this man.

  They sat side by side, silently, drinking from their little plastic cups.

  “It’s nice out here,” he finally said.

  “Thanks.”

  “How long have you lived here?” he asked.

  “Most of my life.”

  He nodded at her answer. “How long were you with…” he gave a nudge of his head in the direction of where Drew sat.

  She took a drink and allowed it to swirl around in her mouth, delaying her answering. “Most of my life,” she answered, a hard edge coloring her words this time.

  She felt him studying her, but she resolutely watched the condensation roll down her cup. “What will you do now?” he asked.

  Her brows furrowed at his question. “Do?”

  “Will you stay here?”

  She blinked at the question and paused as she considered. “Where else would I go?” she finally answered quietly. The poignancy of the fact that she was well and truly alone hit her in the gut. The house was the only thing she had left of her family. Her hand began to tremble and the emotion she’d suppressed all day long was threatening to bubble up. She lifted a shaky hand to her face. “I… I need to…” she began.

  Lynx laid a cool hand against the hand on her face. “You need to stay right where you are,” he said calmly.

  She looked up into his eyes and his gaze held her immobile, and almost immediately, she felt her body calm and strengthen. He grasped her hand and moved it from her face. In an unhurried fashion, he leaned into her and brushed his cool cheek and against hers. She inhaled deeply at the seemingly intimate touch.

  He wrapped a hand in her hair before pressing his lips against her neck. She gasped at the silky touch. He brushed across her cheek until he finally landed on her parted lips. As with the last time he’d kissed her, something jolted her on the inside and she felt once again oddly… complete. Letting go of her hand, he lifted his and cupped her face more fully as he gently slipped into her mouth. He growled at the touch of their tongues stroking against each other. She buried her hands in his hair, tugging against the roots as aggression, need, and desire seemed to explode within her.

  He broke away from her, panting against her ear. And she frantically tried to reach his lips, but he held her firmly against his cheek. She jerked at his tone when he questioned irritably, “Karmyl?”

  Heat flashed over her as embarrassment flooded her. She’d not even heard the other woman approach. She attempted to pull away, but he once again held her tightly against his face.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt,” Karmyl said in a tone which belied her words, “but the minister is about to leave and wanted to speak to Arabella.”

  “She’ll be right in,” Lynx answered.

  Arabella heard the retreating steps, then the swoosh of the door, sliding open, then closing. How had she’d missed hearing that. Color flooded her face at the people in house - people here for her brother’s repast – seeing her basically making out on the swing like a teenager. What kind of person was she?

  “Don’t!” he demanded.

  “What?” she said, trying to snatch herself back from him.

  Pulling back to look down into her face, he once again cupped her cheek in one hand. “Don’t worry about those people. You did nothing wrong. It’s been a long day and you needed some comfort.”

  She broke his gaze and closed her eyes before leaning into his hand for just an instant, before mentally and physically pulling back. She exhaled slowly and deeply before giving a small nod of her head. “I need to get back in there nonetheless.” With those words, she rose and stepped away from the swing. She turned back and gave him a sad smile. “Thanks, Lynx. For...,” she gave a small wave of her hand, “for today.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Without another word, she turned toward the house and straightened her shoulders, mentally preparing herself to finish the day.

  Arabella was standing at the sink washing up the last of the dishes. Exhaustion rolled off her shoulders in waves. It’d been a long day, but finally all the guests, including Drew, had departed, leaving only her, Karmyl and Lynx. Karmyl was quickly helping her finish tidying up the house before she needed to get to the club. Arabella was thankful she had nothing more to do than crash. In the living room, she could the low sounds of a ball game of some sort being played out as Lynx lounged on the couch.

  “Arabella!” Karmyl said sternly.

  Her head snapped in Karmyl’s direction at her sharp tone. “What?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Why are you sleeping in the closet?” she asked accusatorily.

  Her face flamed. “I… I…” she broke off when she caught Lynx paying close attention to her words. “I’ve just been a little afraid since the attack. That’s all,” she said with as much rationality as she could muster.

  Compassion filled Karmyl’s dark eyes. “Are you getting any sleep at all?”

  From the corner of her eye, she once again saw Lynx’s head turn toward her. “Of course. I’m fine. It’s no big deal, really.”

  Karmyl studied her for a long moment. “I have to get to the club. But Lynx can stay here with you tonight,” she stated.

  “Oh, that’s really not necessary,” Arabella quickly assured her.

  She held up a hand. “You can stop right there, because you’ll not dissuade me. Besides, he has nothing better to do. Do you, Lynx,” she said cutting her eyes over to her brother.

  He glanced between the two women and simply shrugged.

  “Please… I’ll be fine. You don’t have stay,” Arabella said imploringly to Lynx. Her tone begging him to reconsider and not stay.

  Lynx gave her an apologetic grin. “Have you met Karmyl? She’ll have her way. I’ve found over the years, it’s just easier to give in.”

  “That’s for sure.” Karmyl replied with a sassy smile. “All you’ll have to do is give him a blanket and a pillow and he’ll sleep on the couch. Then maybe you’ll get some sleep… in your bed, I hope.”

  Arabella stared between the two siblings but sagged in defeat. “Okay,” she sighed.

  Karmyl beamed in satisfaction. “I really do need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, pressing a kiss to Arabella’s cheek.

  Arabella turned back to the sink and rinsed the sink before drying her hands on a dishtowel. She heard the siblings talking in low voices
in the next room, probably about her. She heaved a sigh. She had to pull it together. She was a grown woman and had been taking care of herself for a long time.

  “Bye, Arabella!” she heard Karmyl singsong before the front door closed.

  Exhaustion made her muscles sag. She rolled her shoulders and walked into the living room to find Lynx still watching the television. He’d taken off his suit-jacket and tie earlier in the afternoon. His shirt was starkly white against the darkness of his hair which hit against the collar. He’d rolled the cuffs up to mid-forearm, a look she found oddly sexy. He made her feel gauche in comparison.

  Rubbing a hand down her thigh, she said, “I’m gonna get a shower then get ready for bed. There’s really no need for you to stay. I’ll be okay here. I was just a little unnerved about the break-in, but I’m so tired tonight…”

  He held up a hand which stopped her words. “Karmyl wouldn’t ever let it go if I didn’t stay. If you’ll just grab me a pillow, I’ll be fine right here.”

  She shifted from foot to foot in indecision.

  He arched an eyebrow. “Go,” he said, barring any argument.

  She let out a slow breath. “Okay… well, thank you.”

  She grabbed him a pillow from the spare room and returned. Pointing to from where she’d just come from, she said, “You don’t actually have to sleep on the couch. I do have a spare room if you’d prefer.”

  He took the pillow and set it aside. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Now go.”

  Again, she shifted foot to foot. “Go!” he said more adamantly.

  With a hesitant smile, she trudged her tired body down the hall to the master bathroom and stripped. Standing underneath the beating rain of water, she finally allowed the suppressed tears and racking sobs to come. She leaned her forehead against the cool tiles of the shower as the tears fell. No matter what, it had always been she, Ian, and Drew, now she had neither. Her heart twisted painfully. The thought of Ian’s body being lowered into the cold, dank earth just made her cry harder. The anguish on Maggie’s mother’s face shredded her.