Blood Haze

by L. R. Potter

  “No, no, no,” she moaned, as tears continued to streak down her face.

  “Arabella,” he commanded more sharply, “talk to me.”

  “I can’t do this anymore. Don’t you understand,” she implored him, slowly turning her head to face him.

  “Can’t do what?”

  “Whatever this is.”

  He studied her face for a long moment as he warred within himself. “I don’t want this either,” he finally said.

  She inhaled sharply as pain exploded inside her at what she thought to be his admittance. “I know.”

  He brushed her tears with his thumbs. “What do you want, Arabella?”

  With so much bravery, it took his breath away, she whispered, “You.”

  Knowing he was probably breaking every hospital rule, he gathered her into his arms, being mindful of the tubes coming from her arms. “Oh, my beautiful Arabella! I want you too,” he whispered against her temple before pressing soft kisses there.

  He felt her shiver against him. “I need more. I need real.”

  He drew back to study her face as he contemplated his answer. He knew he should let her go. Knew he should leave as she’d asked. But he couldn’t - wouldn’t - leave her again. Tracing her bottom lip, he said, “A real relationship, uhh?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “A couple?”

  She nodded and he dropped his eyes to their joined hands. Slowly, he pulled away to stand. He turned to stare out the window pensively. He folded his arms across his chest as he considered the best possible way to protect her… to keep her, but not destroy her.

  She felt his distance and her heart began to pound erratically. She was nearly panting by the time he turned back to her. She braced herself for the coming hurt. She kept telling herself that it didn’t matter what he said. She could handle this. She knew how he felt about relationships. He’d been very clear. She just had to hold it together until he left. She kept repeating those three words over and over: hold it together… hold it together.

  He shoved his hand through his hair before shoving them deep in his pockets. Pivoting on the balls of his feet, he turned back to her. Taking a deep breath, he finally began to speak. But even before any words left his mouth, tears burned her eyes. It appeared she’d not be holding it together until he left.

  “Arabella…” he began.

  With her chin wobbling, she interrupted him. “Listen, Lynx, it’s okay. Really, it is. You told me… and I… I thought I could do it…”

  “Arabella,” he said sharply. “I want to be with you…So. Damned. Much. But marriage is off the table. Can you agree to that?”

  Her eyes scrunched together as her mind tried to understand him. “Marriage?”

  Slowly, he nodded his head. “That won’t ever be an option for us. Can you live with that?”

  “But we’d be together… just you and me?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Exclusively?” she asked begging for reassurance, knowing that having to share him would be a deal breaker.

  “There will be no others for you,” he said sharply, misunderstanding her.

  “And you either?”

  “Of course not,” he replied, finally understanding her hesitation. He moved back to his seat and intertwined their fingers. “To be clear, I want an exclusive relationship with you. But I’ve already been married and it… didn’t end well. I won’t ever marry again. Can you live with that?”

  She sucked in a deep breath and studied his eyes as happiness and relief exploded in her chest. “Yes,” she finally managed to squeeze out. Her chest was heaving in relief. The relief was so strong, it made her lightheaded.

  He moved forward and brushed his fingers against her cheek. A pensive expressive clouded his features. “I… I want to ask you something. Did you recognize your attacker? At all?”

  She tightened her grip on his fingers, her earlier relief vanishing. “I don’t know,” she whimpered, not wanting to think about the man who was obviously some type of nut-job.

  “Arabella,” he said softly, “You’re safe. Talk to me. I need to know. How else can I protect you?”

  Slowly she sat up, the rush of blood from her head made her dizzy and slightly sick to her stomach… or maybe it was the stress. To keep herself upright, she raised her knees and wrapped her arms around them. “There was something about him that I knew. But I don’t know what it was. He was just familiar to me in some way. But I never saw his face. I heard his voice… I don’t know if I’d ever heard it before or not.” She was silent for a moment then swung her head around to him so fast she wobbled. “Do you think he’ll come after me again?” she gasped.

  He reached out a hand to steady her, then ran it soothingly up and down her back. “I… I don’t know. Not if I can help it. You just need to be cautious. Okay?”

  She laid her head against her knees. Whispering, she asked, “Is this my fault… because I wasn’t careful?”

  He rose up, sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her slight frame. “God, no!”

  Her chest was heaving. “I… I was upset that night… both nights. I don’t remember if I locked the door at my house the first time… I went out the back door of the club into the alley… and I knew he was coming back for me… I’d seen it,” she sobbed, nearly incoherently.

  She felt him tense next to her. Quietly, he asked, “What do you mean, you saw it?”

  She tensed at his question, then did what she’d been doing for most of her life in regard to her glimpsings… she lied. “I meant I should have seen it, the potential danger.”

  He pulled back to look down in her face, her words not ringing true for some reasons

  ~X~

  While Lynx might have felt a little guilty for having to ‘gaze’ the doctor to ensure he signed off on Arabella’s release before she was actually ready, having her sound asleep in his bed more than made up for it. He heaved a sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. She was finally safe. Now if he could only keep her that way. His mind went back to the plastic hospital admittance scan-card. He needed to talk to Arabella about it, but he hated to bring up the attack. She was still so very weak and fragile from the blood loss and the attack itself.

  He inhaled her and her blood’s scent was so faint. The bastard could have killed her. Probably would have had he’d not been interrupted. Not that he didn’t understand it. He’d tasted her blood, knew there was none like it. Clearing his mind of everything but the feel of her body pressed tight to his, he drifted off to sleep.

  She woke with a jerk. She strained to see into the darkness, but there wasn’t a shred of light to help her. Her heart began to pound. Wherever she was, it was unfamiliar to her. She struggled to catch her breath as feelings of claustrophobia crashed in on her. She reached out her hand to see if she could tell where she was in that way. Panic rushed over her like a tidal-wave.

  Frantically, with both hands she felt around. It appeared she was in some type of metal box… like a coffin. Her heart began to beat so hard and so fast she became light-headed. She whimpered and began hammering against the metal. It clanked loudly. She yelled as loud as she could, but received no answer.

  The metal box was held together by screws which bit into her flesh as she pounded against the walls of her cell. Blood was beginning to run down her arms from the cuts on her hands. No, she whimpered. Not now. She’d just found her happiness. The air was getting heavy and thick and she struggled to breathe. Oh, God! She was going to die. How’d she get here? She didn’t know. As her chest rose and fell in rapid succession, she renewed her efforts and slammed her fists against the walls and screamed.

  Ice cold hands wrapping around her face forced her to open her eyes. She struggled to catch her breath. “Lynx?” she whimpered, panic still pouring off her in waves.

  “Arabella, wake up. You’re safe. You’re here, with me, at Night Shade. Do you remember?”

  As the dream began to
slip away, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her body trembling. What did this mean? Was it something that was going to happen or just a dream? Fear gnawed at her insides. It was then, in that moment, when fear settled firmly over her; that was the moment she felt the blood running from her nose. It hadn’t been a dream. She heard Lynx inhale sharply, then tense beneath her and she clung all the harder. After only a second, he began to rock her gently.

  “Oh, Arabella,” he murmured over and over.

  “Hold me. Please hold me,” she begged.

  “I won’t let go,” he promised.

  Once the panic subsided, he forced her to lie back down. He couldn’t control the slight flinch at the sight and smell of the blood coming from her nose. Quickly, he jumped from the bed, went into the adjoining bathroom, and wet a washcloth. Taking a deep breath to calm his inherent need to feed, he moved back to the bed and wiped the small trickled from her face. He frowned. How much more blood could she afford to lose? He climbed back up next to her and propped himself up on his elbow and brushed her hair from her face. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

  Slowly she shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

  “What causes the nose bleeds?”

  She tensed then shrugged her shoulders, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Stress, I guess.”

  He studied her closely. She was lying, but why? What would cause nose bleeds that she’d feel the need to hide? A thought struck him like a lightning bolt. “Are you sick?”

  She blinked at him, confused. “Sick?”

  “Is that what’s causing the nose bleeds?”

  Again, she looked away from him. “It’s nothing like that. I told you, its stress.”

  He stared at her for a long moment before reaching out a hand to cup her flushed face. “Hey, look at me,” he said softly.

  She shifted her eyes back to him.

  “We’re a couple now, right?”

  She swallowed hard. He wanted her to tell him about the glimpsings, she thought. She hesitated and began to shake. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t want him to know. “Yes, we’re a couple,” she finally answered.

  Again, he contemplated her solemnly. “I know it’s been a while since I’ve ‘been a couple’,” he air-quoted. “But I seem to remember the very definition of that being two people who are sharing their lives together. Is that right?”

  Tears sprang into her eyes and her lips trembled. He brushed his thumb over them.

  “I care about you, Arabella. I’m worried about you,” he said with a tender smile.

  Her already scattered emotions broke at his tender touch and soft words. A ragged sob erupted from her throat and she turned and buried herself against him. “I… don’t… want… to tell you,” she sobbed.

  His chest tightened as he wrapped one arm around her and cupped the back of her head with his other hand. “Don’t you know you can tell me anything? I’m duty-bound by the laws of couple-dom to stand by you no matter what,” he said with a smile in his voice.

  Her chest still shuddering, she whispered, “I see… things.”

  He stilled as he took in her words. “Things?”

  “Like my mother.”

  “Visions?” he asked.

  She took in a shuddering breath and shook her head. “Not exactly. Not as clear as that. I see pieces of things. And when I do, it causes my nose to bleed.”

  He rubbed his hand over the back of her head and exhaled. He wasn’t sure why this was such a big deal for her, but apparently she liked to keep this a secret. He was just thankful she didn’t have cancer or some other human weakness. To lighten the moment, he said with a smile, “Did you see me coming?”

  She tensed and jerked away from him. That he would mock her, hurt more than any of the others who’d done so in her past. She attempted to sit up but the movement made her head swim and it took her a second to gain her equilibrium.

  “Whoa,” he said sternly, holding her down firmly when she attempted to get up again. “Hey, easy there,” he admonished.

  She batted his hands away and once again tried to sit up. This time, despite her unsteadiness, she managed to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. She wanted to wrap herself in furious anger, but all she felt was weak and defenseless. More than anything, and as she had since the first time she’d become aware of her ‘gift’, she wished she didn’t have it. Wished her mother could have been like all the other normal soccer moms, who’d driven their kids to practice and participated in the PTA. Instead, they were labeled freaks. She was a freak. And she’d never felt more like one than now.

  She felt his hands at her waist dragging her back. She struggled weakly against his hands. “Let me go, you jerk!” she said with as much anger as she could muster.

  He forced her back down and held her easily. “Hey, hey. What’s going on here?”

  Her heart was pounding and its beats were so erratic, she thought she’d pass out. She swallowed. “I don’t feel so well,” she murmured as she closed her eyes.

  “Of course not, you big dummy! You just got out of the hospital. You are supposed to stay in the bed. “Now, what the hell is going on,” he said sternly.

  She clamped her lips together when they started to tremble again. She was just so weak, which was undoubtedly why she was so emotional - although it seemed she’d done nothing but cry for weeks. “I want to go home,” she finally said.

  He arched his eyebrow. “That’s not going to happen. What just happened here?”

  “I don’t want to stay here.”

  He gave a shake of his head. “What am I missing?”

  Her chest rose and fell rapidly. “I’ve dealt with people like you all my life,” she said as firmly as she could.

  His lips twisted wryly. “Oh, I doubt that.”

  Since she really didn’t have the strength to get up, she turned away from him and lifted her arm to cover her face. “I’m not a freak,” she muttered.

  “What? I don’t think you’re a freak. Where did you ever get such an idea?”

  “People mock what they don’t understand,” she whispered.

  He gently pulled her onto her back and cupped her face within his hands. “I wasn’t mocking you. I would never do that,” he said, as he leaned forward to kiss her brow.

  She stared at him intently looking for any signs of deception, but no matter how she tried, she couldn’t find any.

  “You don’t think I’m a freak?”

  His face broke into a grin. “Only in the best possible way.”

  She blinked up at him for several moments. Raising a shaky hand, she traced the square edge of his jaw hidden by his thin beard. “Kiss me,” she said with a catch in her throat.

  He smiled. “With pleasure.” He leaned down and pressed his lips lightly against hers before pulling back.

  She licked her suddenly dry lips and his eyes followed the motion of her tongue. Threading her fingers into his hair, she whispered, “Now, kiss me like I’m not your grandmother.”

  He stilled for an instant, then burst out with a laugh. “Okay.” He crawled up a little bit so he could rise up over her. He angled her face to where he wanted it before lowering his lips once more. He placed soft kisses against her lips before nipping gently at her lower lip. He licked against the seam of her lips until she parted them to allow him entrance. He licked into her mouth and stroked silkily against her tongue. He sucked gently against her tongue.

  Her breathing was becoming more shallow and she tugged against his hair, drawing him closer to her. He growled into her mouth and gathered her closer to his body. She whimpered when he ran a hand down the side of her body.

  He pulled back abruptly. “We can’t do this,” he panted.

  “I want you,” she whispered, tugging him back down to her.

  “But you just got out of the hospital,” he reminded her.

  “So, I guess you’ll have to do all the work.”

  He remained still in indecision.

  “Please,
” she begged. “I promise I’ll be good.”

  He smiled. “Of that I have no doubt.”

  Without taking his eyes away from hers, he unfastened the tie to her robe and parted it. He slid his cool hand over the flat planes of her stomach and she shivered. He allowed it to drift up over her breast and she gasped.

  Sitting up, he shoved his boxers aside and crawled over her. He rose up on his forearms and kissed her until she began to sway her hips against him seeking oneness with him. He looked down at her with such tenderness, her eyes stung. “I think your gift is very special,” he said as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Meeting her eyes once more, he continued, “How could I not when it’s made you who you are today. You are truly magnificent,” he murmured as he pressed soft kisses over her jaw.

  Gently, he eased himself inside her. “Truly magnificent,” he murmured again.

  Her heart caught in her chest and she shuddered at the intensity of her emotion for this man. She’d not been with him a tenth of the time she’d been with Drew, but the feelings were a hundredfold more intense.

  ~X~

  The water lapped gently against Arabella as she lay reclined against Lynx’s chest in the large tub. Idly, he traced his fingers in some unknown pattern up and down her arm. Her eyes were closed and her body seemed to melt into his. She lay across his lap, with her legs draped over the sides of his legs. She was drowsy and calm. She felt safe and secured within the confines of his body. Her lips lifted slightly at the touch of his lips against her temple.

  “Arabella, my Arabella,” he said softly against her ear. Her body responded to the sound of his voice, just as it always did. His soft, South African accent never failed to shift something in her chest.

  “Do you know what Arabella means in Italian?” he asked.

  Not wanting to move, but wanting him to continue speaking, she gave a slight shake of her head.

  “Answered prayer. That’s what you are to me; an answered prayer. You’re very special to me. Don’t ever forget that, no matter what,” he said, as he wrapped his arms across her chest, pulling her even tighter into his body.