You're Being Summoned, Darkness

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “Impossible! To think that I…! I underestimated you…! Who knew that such worthy opponents as you lay concealed in this beginner town? Hrr… Impossible…that I should…be destroyed…here…”

  With that, Vanir’s body, tuxedo and all, crumbled to dust, leaving only his mask.

  The lantern, which had been knocked on its side, dimly illuminated the scene. The only sound was Darkness’s ragged breath.

  “No way… Did I really just…defeat a general of the Demon King?”

  Darkness couldn’t seem to believe it herself. She stood with her sword in hand, still shaking from the thrill of battle.

  “Usually, if you say Did I really do it? or whatever at a time like this, it means you haven’t really done it. But Vanir seemed pretty surprised to be cut in half, too. Maybe for once we actually accomplished something.”

  “All as I expected,” a voice said suddenly, as if in reply. It seemed to be coming from the mask lolling on the ground.

  The dust of the dungeon floor began to rise up in the shape of a body. Soon that body was clad in a tuxedo, in the exact state it had been a few minutes earlier.

  “Did you perhaps imagine you had defeated me? I’m sorry to tell you that you didn’t even damage me! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ahhh, your ill will! Exquisite!”

  Aww, man! I’m gonna kill this guy!

  “What, your body is actually made only of dust? The Demon King’s generals just keep getting crazier and crazier!”

  “Ohhh… I thought we beat him… I thought one of my attacks finally hit and beat a general of the Demon King… I thought maybe I’d finally made up for not doing much during the fight with Destroyer…”

  Darkness’s sword trembled as she muttered dejectedly. Vanir, however, laughed merrily.

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha! This is a false body made by my magic—the mask is my true form! Strike my body however you will—it will only return to dust! And then I will feed on the abundant magic in the earth, petals shall dance, and butterflies shall fly…”

  “You’re not making any sense! Talking to you gives me a headache! Dammit. Darkness, what do we do? Time for a tactical retreat?”

  “Never! He has mocked me, to my shame as a Knight! I must repay him…!”

  It happened as Darkness made this forceful declaration.

  “Mm, I see, I see. I haven’t much time to entertain myself with you. But I have a special ability for moments just like this! Observe: I shall not harm anyone, but I shall have all your enmity!”

  Vanir took his mask in his right hand.

  “Hey, Darkness! I don’t like where this is going! Get away from him!”

  “You’re too late! Tough-bodied Crusader! I will borrow that sinew of yours!” Vanir bellowed, and then he thrust the mask at Darkness…!

  6

  “Darkness…? H-hey, Darkness! Answer me!”

  Darkness had taken the mask full in the face, and now she stood there wearing it, gazing at the ground, her sword hanging limply. She wasn’t moving.

  I didn’t like this at all.

  Judging by Vanir’s words and the way Darkness looked right now, I could only assume he had possessed her.

  Vanir’s former body had crumbled into dust when he launched the mask.

  Darkness swayed slightly, mask and all, then raised her head…

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now hear me, you impudent rogue! By my power— (What should I do, Kazuma? He’s taken over my body!) What now, you insect? Can you bring yourself to attack this—? (I don’t care! Attack us! Attack us now! This is the best possible situation!)”

  A practically incomprehensible stream of words came from Darkness’s mouth.

  “…What are you two talking about?”

  “What in blazes? What is this (beautiful!) girl? …Stop interrupting! What is going on? Such a resolute spirit she has… (It’s like I’m the model Crusader!) You are growing most tiresome!”

  Gosh. You’d think this would be a real crisis, but Darkness seemed to have things pretty under control.

  In fact, she kind of seemed to be enjoying it.

  “How can this girl be so strong as to resist my control? (Aww, go on…) But the longer you resist me, the more piercing the pain of the struggle shall become! (Wh-what?!) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Let us see just how long you can endure! …What’s this? You show no animosity. In fact, you might be feeling something I like very little… Joy…?”

  Since Vanir and Darkness didn’t appear to be going anywhere, I decided to take this opportunity to do what I’d come here for in the first place. I walked into the Lich’s room and used the magic-cleaning equipment to make short work of the magic circle.

  Even as I worked, I could hear:

  “(I… I shall not bend to this pain…!) Your determination is admirable! But to attempt to endure further is to invite the destruction of your very spirit…! …Don’t tell me you’re enjoying this…?!”

  Vanir sounded downright confused.

  I finished cleaning the magic circle and went back to where the two of them were still battling for control of Darkness’s body.

  “All right, Darkness, all done! Now we just need to get back to the surface. Then we can collect Aqua and beat our retreat!”

  I had been walking toward Darkness as I spoke, but I found her great sword pointed at me.

  “Not another step, boy. (Don’t worry, Kazuma! Leave me here and go on ahead!) Surely you don’t think things will go so easi— (Ahh, I’ve always wanted to say that!) This girl you do not dislike, surely you don’t wish to see her harmed? (?!) If she continues to resist my power… (K-Kazuma! Did I hear correctly what this self-proclaimed all-seeing Devil just said?) Now, if you wish to prevent this, then explain to her that— (I’m really happy. I’m happy, but—our social standing is too different. And we are members of the same party…) Will you shut up?!”

  “Both of you, shut up! Seriously, could you please take turns talking? I have no idea what either of you is saying!”

  Vanir and I were both bellowing, but the top of my lungs was higher than the top of his.

  “Hrr… It seems this body was a mistake. (Hey, that’s a rude thing to say about someone’s body!) Again I implore you to be quiet! I’m leaving, already, so just keep silent!”

  It seemed Vanir couldn’t control Darkness’s iron will and had decided to leave.

  I was pretty impressed—our resident perv had outlasted a general of the Demon King.

  Vanir’s shoulders slumped wearily, and he raised a hand to take off his mask.

  Then something occurred to me.

  If Vanir got his power back, wouldn’t that be a bad thing?

  After all, as long as he had that mask, he could just make himself a new body any time he was in trouble. Plus he’d boasted about having those nasty rays or beams or whatever. I wondered if he could use those skills while he was in Darkness’s body.

  If Vanir got serious, Darkness and I wouldn’t be able to stop him from heading to the surface.

  But what if we kept him trapped in Darkness’s body?

  He would be in the body of a human he wasn’t used to, and he would have Darkness making his life miserable.

  …So we keep him bottled up in Darkness, take her to the surface, and have Aqua do something about it.

  That was it. He wanted to meet Aqua, and we would make sure he did.

  I approached Vanir as he went to take off his mask. I took the sealing tag Sena had given me and slapped it right on his face.

  “What’s the matter, boy? …? What’s this? …I can’t touch it… Why, you— What is this tag? When I try to touch my mask, my fingers are repelled. (Hmm, it sparkles right in front of my eyes, and it’s kind of annoying… Wait a minute, Kazuma. Isn’t this…?)”

  The two of them struggled valiantly to remove the tag, but the person it was placed on couldn’t break the seal.

  “It’s that tag Sena gave me. Okay, Darkness. We’re taking you and that seal up top. Just ke
ep Vanir inside until we get to Aqua. She’ll purify him right out of you!”

  “(Wha—?!)”

  Their mutual exclamations were in perfect harmony.

  7

  Enough of the dolls had been cleared out of the dungeon that they didn’t get in our way.

  “Boy! This girl is in constant agony from her attempts to resist me! The pain will surely shatter her! So you had best hurry up and remove this seal, for otherwise… (You heard him, Kazuma! I’m in dire straits here… Ahhh, I’ve never felt something so intense—he really is a general of the Demon King! I don’t think I can…stand it much longer…!)”

  Maybe it was the pain that caused sweat to run down Darkness’s neck and her breathing to get heavy.

  Apparently she was winning the battle for control of her body, at least for the moment.

  On our way out, we ran into the other adventurers who had come in with us. They goggled at the masked Darkness, but we didn’t have time for them.

  “Just a little farther, Darkness! Hang in there! As soon as we get back up, the hard part will be over!”

  “Hnnn… How did I succumb…to this bizarre twist…? (Don’t worry about me!)”

  ……

  “What did you just say?” Vanir and I found ourselves asking at the same time.

  I admit I had some doubts about bringing the general to the surface.

  But just think about the body we were keeping him in. Darkness wasn’t just a little clumsy. If she took five swings at a hay bale, one of them would miss. Sometimes I wanted to ask how she could have made it this far with such poor aim.

  But with her as our opponent, the adventurers on the surface would almost certainly be enough to restrain her if there was any trouble.

  “Great job, Darkness! Aqua can handle the rest. You just let the other adventurers hold you back, and—”

  I was interrupted as sunlight met my eyes.

  “…Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Just whom are you talking to?”

  He didn’t sound like he was struggling with Darkness anymore.

  No way…

  “My takeover is complete! You’ve underestimated me, boy! I was holding back until this moment. I knew your friends would let their guard down if I approached them in this guise. Just wait until I’m face-to-face with that Priest of yours! I’ll get her before she can say hello!”

  As he shouted all this, Vanir leaped up the stairs, moving faster than me despite being clad in full armor.

  Oh man! This was not good at all!

  He was after Aqua. And no one was likely to try to stop Darkness, even if she was wearing a weird mask.

  “Darkness, open your eyes! I know you’ve got more in you! Are you going to let some Devil beat you?”

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It’s futile, boy! Whatever this girl may ‘have,’ after a certain level of agony she— (N-noooo!) H-hey, hey you! Enough with the strange interjections!”

  Damn—I guess our perv couldn’t hold out anymore.

  Vanir had full control of Darkness now.

  “Now for a joyous reunion! Everyone will be so happy to see their companions emerge from the dungeon unscathed! And then, my obnoxious age-old enemy, you will discover I possess your friend! And what will you do then?!”

  Shouting, he bounded up out of the dungeon…

  “Sacred Exorcism!”

  “(Ahhhhhhh!)”

  …and was immediately enveloped by a white flame from Aqua, who had been waiting at the entrance.

  8

  Vanir was fried as he came out of the dungeon. He collapsed to one knee.

  “D-Darkness!”

  Still in Darkness’s body, of course.

  I rushed out of the dungeon and ran over to see if she was okay. But her body didn’t show a single scorch.

  “B… Bwa-ha-ha… Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Bwaaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  In fact, for having taken a direct hit from Aqua’s magic, Vanir seemed pretty perky, too.

  “Hey, watch it, Aqua! What do you think you’re doing, slamming Darkness with magic like that?! You’re gonna give me a heart attack!”

  Aqua seemed totally unfazed by my scolding.

  “What are you talking about? That magic has no effect on humans. I sensed an evil presence, so I just thought I’d try it…”

  “(I-is that right…? Just as well, then. But it sure was surprising… Maybe give me a little warning next time…)”

  Darkness’s consciousness had surfaced, meaning the attack must have weakened Vanir’s hold over her.

  “Hey, Aqua! A general of the Demon King is possessing Darkness! We’re up against a Devil! This kind of thing’s your specialty, right?!”

  “A-a general of the Demon King?!”

  Sena, watching from afar, responded even before Aqua did.

  Aqua knitted her brow in annoyance and walked up to Darkness.

  She abruptly held her nose.

  “Yuck! That smell! This is definitely the stench of a Devil! Unclean, Darkness! Unclean!”

  “(Whaaa—?! I—I don’t think I smell that bad…?!)”

  Tears beaded in her eyes behind the mask.

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… (Kazuma, give me a sniff. Let me know if I stink!) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha, bwaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (And even on the off chance I do, it’s only because we were just running all over a dungeon.) That’s enough out of you! This is my moment of truth, and you shall be silent!”

  The additional scolding from Vanir only made the tears bigger.

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha! First, allow me to greet you, O Priest who bears the same name as that repugnant and notorious water goddess. I am Vanir! Duke of Hell and general of the Demon King. Vanir, the Great Devil!”

  Maybe Vanir had to work to get all those words out of his mouth, because Darkness seemed to be the one with control of the body. The whole time Vanir was making his grand proclamation, her body was kicking rocks disinterestedly.

  Wait a second. Had he just called Aqua a “Priest who bears the same name as the water goddess”?

  So he did know what she really was.

  “Hitting me with demon-exorcism magic before you’ve even introduced yourself—quite a greeting! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is why nobody likes the Axis Church! Have you no sense of etiquette?”

  “As if! You’re nothing but a Devil; what’s etiquette got to do with it? You’re even worse than undead, and they go against the laws of the gods! But you Devils are just parasites who need human animosity to live! Pfft-hee-hee-hee!”

  Then both of them fell silent for a second…

  “Sacred High Exorcism!”

  “As if!”

  Aqua had tried to take Vanir by surprise, but he dodged to the side.

  “Aww, Darkness! Why’d you dodge? Just hold still, please!”

  “(Even if you ask me to do that, my body just—!)”

  As Aqua and Vanir set to battling, Sena and Megumin came over to me.

  “Kazuma! Kazuma! What’s going on here?! Why is Darkness wearing that mask? It’s not fair! I want a mask, too! Such a mask stirs the heart of a member of the Crimson Magic Clan!”

  “Stuff it! And don’t be stupid. Darkness’s body is possessed by one of the Demon King’s generals. That mask is his true body—think you can do anything about it?”

  “Mr. Satou, how in the world did this happen? I’ve seen that creature on wanted posters. It’s Vanir, general of the Demon King, a Devil said to possess great powers of foreknowledge and prophecy, seeing all. What is such a serious threat doing here?!”

  Sena was pale as the grave and seemed near the end of her rope.

  “He came to find out who defeated the Demon King’s other general Beldia. He’s got a few more unpleasant things in store, too, but that can wait. For now, I used the seal you gave me to trap him inside Darkness’s body.”

  Sena’s jaw nearly hit the ground.

  “Trapped him?! Inside your friend’s body?! You’re just—! You are simply—!”

  “…It would app
ear we find ourselves in a difficult way. That Devil seems able to survive Aqua’s exorcism magic. It may be precisely because he is in Darkness’s body. Darkness is a Crusader, a holy Knight who serves the gods. She has an especially strong defense against Light magic. Let us remove the seal and set that monster free for the time being.”

  After listening to Megumin, I observed Vanir, who was busy dodging Aqua’s magic.

  He made good use of Darkness’s normally klutzy body, easily avoiding Aqua’s attacks despite being in heavy armor.

  Geez, and here I’d thought shutting him up inside Darkness would make it easier to beat him!

  I’d had no idea her body had so much latent potential.

  “Set him free? As long as he’s trapped in Darkness’s body, he can only attack with her sword, but he said something about having a death-ray attack or something. Letting him out would probably make him a lot more dangerous.”

  Somewhere along the line, the other adventurers had joined in the battle, trying to hold Vanir still so Aqua’s magic could do its work.

  “Th-that is troubling… At this rate…”

  “It d-doesn’t look good for us, huh…?”

  I followed Megumin’s gaze to the ongoing battle again…

  “Damn! Who knew Darkness had this in her?!”

  “I can’t hit her! She just parries everything! And she’s got some serious attacks—and so fast! We’re lucky she’s not going all out, or we’d be done for!”

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This body is quite capable! Strong muscles and great endurance! And to top it off, it readily resists that noxious divine magic! (Ooh… I hate to be causing so much trouble for my fellow adventurers, but I am somehow happy to realize I can hold them all off…)”

  Well, gee, I was glad someone was happy.

  “Come on, Darkness! Hold still already! We’re trying to help you! Don’t you want our help? Could it be that you secretly kind of enjoy beating up on the adventurers who usually make fun of you?”

  “(N-n-no, I don’t!) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Cubs and fledglings, all of you! Don’t be shy—test yourselves against me!”