Star Struck

by Amber Garza

I shrug. “Well, that’s enough of all of this serious talk.” I drop Star’s hand and then stand up, wiping my hands on the back of my pants. “I don’t think I’ve jabbered this much about my life to anyone ever. I think I’m dangerously close to breaking out in hives.”

  Star giggles that amazing giggle of hers while she stands up too. “Well, I appreciate you telling me.” Then she narrows her eyes. “Why did you tell me, Beckett?”

  “Because I wanted you to know.”

  “Why?”

  “I care about you, Star.” I move closer to her. “More than I should.”

  “You do?” She looks up at me with those crazy innocent eyes, and I crumble.

  Reaching up, I gently run my fingertips along her chin. Then I cup her face with my hands and lean close until my lips are almost touching her cheek. She smells like honeysuckle. “Yes, I do. No matter how hard I’ve tried to fight it, I just can’t help myself when it comes to you.”

  She inclines her head toward mine, her eyelids fluttering. My heart picks up speed, and I lower my face to hers. I want so badly to kiss her, but something stops me almost like there is an invisible wall between us. With a jolt, I back up.

  Star’s shoulders slump and she sighs. “I don’t get it, Beckett. One minute you draw me in, and the next you shut me out. I can’t keep doing this with you. Either you want to be with me or you don’t.”

  I run a hand over my head. “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is for me.” She whirls away from me.

  Desperation blooms in my chest. “Where are you going?”

  “Back to the car. I want you to take me home,” she calls over her shoulder.

  “Star,” I call after her, but she starts walking faster. I jog to catch up. “C’mon, don’t be like this.”

  “Please just take home,” her voice wavers.

  It breaks me, and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to hurt her. Grabbing her arm, I spin her toward me. With swift movements, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. “Dammit, Star, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve never done this before.”

  “What?” she murmurs into my chest. “Hugged a girl?”

  “No, I mean I’ve never chased anyone before. I’ve never had a problem with a girl walking away from me. But you, Star, you’re different. You’re worth running after.” I brush her hair away from her face. Her head tilts up toward mine, her lips pursed. I swallow hard and move back a little.

  Her face hardens, and she pushes me away. “I’m worth running after, but you don’t want to kiss me.”

  “Believe me, Star. I want to kiss you.”

  She places a hand on her hip. “Then why don’t you?”

  I hesitate. “I’m scared.”

  “Why? I brush my teeth,” she says with a slight smile, breaking through the tension.

  “No, I’m not scared to kiss you. I’m just scared of what I’ll feel when I do.” I sigh, pressing my forehead against hers.

  “Is it so bad to feel something, Beckett?” Her voice is soft, her breath sweet as it feathers over my skin.

  Without thinking on it any further, I reach up and cradle the back of her head with my hand. I pick my forehead off of hers, my gaze traveling down to her lips. I curl my other hand around her waist and pull her hips toward mine. Then I press my lips to hers. I had every intention of starting off softly, but the minute my mouth touches hers desperation fills me. I force her lips open with my tongue and slide it inside her mouth. She tastes faintly of cherries or something equally sweet. Her arms come around my waist, her hands skimming up my back before stopping at my neck. Star’s fingers dance along my flesh, causing chills to brush over my skin. I kiss her even more firmly, and a satisfied sound comes from the back of her throat. I rub my hand over her neck and tighten my hold on her waist. Her lips grind against mine, her tongue exploring my mouth with vigor. Every time I’ve kissed a girl before, it was just a precursor for something else. This is different. This means something else entirely.

  When we finally part, Star’s lips are swollen and red, her cheeks flushed. She’s never looked more beautiful. “Wow,” she breathes.

  I press my nose to her temple and speak into her ear. “That was the first kiss to top all other first kisses.”

  “That wasn’t your first kiss, Beckett.”

  “It was the first kiss I’ve had like that.” I pull back, searching her eyes. “And after this, we’ll have many more firsts.”

  “I have a feeling that you’re all out of firsts.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Star. Very wrong.”

  25

  Star

  I wake up with a giant smile on my face. By how sore my cheeks are, I surmise that I must’ve been smiling while I slept. Not that I’m surprised. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. Reaching up, I run my fingertips over my lips remembering how it felt when Beckett’s lips were on them. Kissing him was unlike anything I’ve experienced. My memory flies back to my first slobbery messy kiss with Spencer, and I wince. Beckett’s kiss was perfect, even better than I imagined it would be. Everything about last night was like my wildest fantasy finally coming to life. I can hardly believe it really happened. I’m still grinning like a stupid idiot when I sit and stretch my arms.

  “Someone woke up in a good mood,” Lola croaks from her bed. Her hair is sticking up everywhere, and lines from her pillow are painted on her face. “I guess the date went well.”

  I nod, the smile still pasted on. I’m beginning to wonder if it will ever go away.

  “I tried to wait up for you so you could tell me all about it, but I ended up crashing.” She lifts her brows. “You were out late. Please don’t tell me you already slept with him.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “But we did kiss.”

  “Oooh, how was it?”

  “The best.” My insides soar, but when the reality of the situation hits me I feel my high withering. Last night was amazing, but will it last? I mean, what’s going to happen now? Will Beckett wake up this morning and regret opening up to me the way he did?

  “What’s going on? Your smile just totally went away.”

  “I was just thinking.” I chew on my bottom lip.

  “Are you having second thoughts about Beckett?”

  I run my fingers over the covers that are bunched up to my waist. “Not at all. I’m just hoping it’s the same for him.”

  “You’re worried that he’s going to go back to being cold and distant like before?”

  I nod. “Am I just being paranoid?”

  Lola sits up, brushing her unruly hair away from her face. She pushes her covers down and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean, up to this point he’s been all over the map.”

  My stomach knots. “Thanks. That was really helpful,” I say sarcastically.

  “Would you rather I lie to you?” Lola swings her legs off the bed and stands up.

  “No, I guess not.” I sigh, laying my head back down on my pillow. “I just hope we’re wrong.”

  “Well, now’s your time to find out.”

  “What?” I sit back up.

  Lola tosses me my phone. “It looks like he’s calling you.”

  I catch the cell in my hand, my heart pounding. “Hello,” I answer.

  “Good morning, Star.” His incredibly sexy voice is even more raspy in the morning.

  “G-good morning, Beckett.”

  “Sleep well?”

  “Um…yeah I did.” The smile is back.

  Lola rolls her eyes, grabs her towel and toiletries bag and leaves the room, no doubt heading to the restroom.

  “I didn’t,” he says.

  “Why not?” I scoot back and rest my head against the wall.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

  My stomach flips. “Really?”

  “Yes, really. So, do you have any plans tonight?”

  “No,” I say, and then mentally chastise myself for answering too quickly. Does that make m
e sound desperate?

  “Good, because if you did I was going to tell you to cancel them.”

  “Why?”

  “Because after last night, I’m not sure I can ever go a day without seeing you again, Star.”

  “Well, you might sometimes have to survive a day without me. It’s not like we’re conjoined twins,” I tease.

  “Thank God. That would just be gross.”

  I giggle.

  “Wanna go out tonight?” he asks.

  “I’d love to.”

  “Great. I’ll be by at six to pick you up.”

  “Sounds good.” I throw off my covers and get up.

  “Oh, and Star?”

  “Yes?”

  “This time it’s not casual. Wear one of those sexy skirts I like.”

  “With the strappy sandals?”

  “You better stop talking like that or I’m coming over right now,” he growls.

  “Promise?”

  “You want me too?”

  “No,” I say quickly, and then scramble to fix it. “I mean, yes, I want you to, but I promised Lola I’d hang out with her today. We’re going to breakfast and then doing a little shopping.”

  “You sure know how to ruin a moment,” he says.

  “Sorry. I’ll see you tonight, Beckett.” I hang up, the smile still lingering on my face.

  By Thursday night’s rehearsal I realize that Beckett has held to his statement of never going a day without seeing me. We’ve been out every night this week. He’s taken me to dinner, to a movie, and one night we even just hung out at his house and talked. Okay, we may have made out a little too, but mostly we talked. Even so, I am excited when I pull up in front of his parent’s house. I wonder if I’ll ever get tired of spending time with him. I sure hope not.

  I grab my sheet music and purse off the passenger seat and hop out of the car. After closing the driver’s side door, I turn toward the house. That’s when I’m hit with a moment of hesitation. Things have been so amazing with Beckett and me all week, but we’ve been alone. This will be the first time around other people. Will it be uncomfortable? Will Beckett slip back into the old Beckett, or will he be the same sweet guy he is when it’s just us? I’m almost afraid to find out. I freeze, unable to move forward. The garage door opens with a loud rumble and I flinch.

  “Star?” Beckett spots me. “Are you coming in?”

  I take a deep breath. I’m late like always so the other guys are already there. Before I can force my legs forward, Beckett swaggers toward me. I take a few steps until we meet. My heart is hammering in my chest, awaiting his first move.

  “I was wondering where you were.” He wraps his arm around my waist, and nuzzles my cheek with his nose. “I missed you.”

  I smile, inhaling his familiar scent. Bringing my arms up I hug him tightly. His mouth brushes over my cheek until it reaches my mouth. He kisses me tenderly, slowly, softly. My knees soften.

  Pulling back, he looks into my eyes. “I hate to hold up the practice, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus until I got that out of the way.”

  “Me neither.” With his arm around my waist, we walk into the garage together. I can tell the other guys are surprised. The only one that seems slightly less stunned is Ryker, which makes sense because I’m sure Lola’s filled him in on what’s happening. Still they recover quickly and we get practice rolling. The festival is only a week away, so rehearsal runs a little long. We all know how much is riding on this, and we want to sound perfect. When Beckett and I sing together I marvel at how our chemistry has grown even more since the last time we practiced. I had been a little nervous that our spark would have dwindled since we got together. But no, it seems that the spark has grown into a full blown flame.

  Everyone is exhausted by the time we finish. Ryker yawns, Pierce rolls his neck, and Jimmy shakes out his arms. However, Beckett appears to have all the energy in the world. “Okay, guys. Only one more practice until the festival. I can’t wait.” He rubs his palms together in anticipation. Then he unhooks his guitar, sets it on the stand and rushes toward me. Taking me in his arms, he says. “You sounded so amazing tonight.” Lowering his lips to my ears, he adds, “And you looked so damn hot too.”

  “You too.” I kiss his cheek.

  He squeezes me tighter. “Where do you want to go tonight? You choose.”

  “It’s late, Beckett. I should probably get home.”

  “What are you, eighty? It’s not late.”

  “Not for you.” I play with the collar of his shirt. “You can sleep until noon. I have class in the morning.”

  “Fine. Tomorrow night then?”

  “I was already planning on it.”

  “And this time it’s your turn.”

  “My turn for what?”

  “C’mon, Star. I’ve shared a lot with you this week. Tomorrow night you take me somewhere.” He tucks his finger under my chin. “I want to learn more about you.”

  “Okay.” I smile, knowing exactly where I’ll take him.

  It feels weird to be the one in control this time. For the past week Beckett has dictated where we went and when. Not that it bothered me. I kind of liked it. If we were back in my hometown there are so many places I could take him; so many memories I could share. In Seattle I’m not familiar with much, and I don’t have any memories here. However, there is one thing I know a lot about, and it’s something I can show him anywhere that has a sky. So I drive out to the same spot he took me on our first date.

  When I pull over and cut the engine, he turns to me with his brows furrowed. “Don’t tell me you used to come here and play music too. That would just be too weird.”

  I giggle. “No, I’ve only been in Seattle a couple of months and the first time I came here was with you. But it’s the perfect location for me to show you something.” I exit the car and head to the trunk. After popping it, I pull out a blanket and join Beckett. Hand in hand we walk forward. Only I don’t take him as far as the tree. Instead, I stop when we get to the middle of the field. I drop the blanket on the ground and spread it out over the dirt and grass. “C’mon.” I lay on my back, my hair splaying out around my face.

  “What are we doing?” He asks as he plops down next to me.

  “Just trust me, okay? Lay down on your back like me.”

  “Okay, but you better not try to take advantage of me,” he jokes.

  “Don’t worry.” I chuckle.

  Beckett does as he’s told.

  I glance over at his face and smile. “Now look up in the sky and tell me what you see.”

  “Stars.”

  “Yeah, and the moon right over there.” I point to the bright yellow crescent shining over the backdrop of night. “See the star closest to the moon? The brightest one in the sky? That’s Sirius.”

  “Okay, well then I will take it seriously.”

  “Not serious,” I say with a slight giggle under my words. “Sirius is what the star is called. When I was a little girl my dad used to take me out to a field near our house at night. He would point out all the stars to me and tell me their names. Man, I used to love those nights. I loved those times with my dad when it was just the two of us.”

  Beckett’s hand closes over mine, his fingers tickling my flesh. “Do you miss him?”

  “Sometimes, I guess. But I was ready to leave home. I like my life here.”

  “I’m glad because I like you being here.” Beckett squeezes my hand.

  His words warm my heart and cause a smile to break out on my face. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled more in my life than I have over the past week. “That doesn’t mean that my dad didn’t want me to follow in his footsteps. I think he always hoped I would.”

  “How come you didn’t?”

  “It wasn’t my passion. It was my dad’s. I appreciated his love for it, but my heart always leaned towards music.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Beckett’s face turn toward me. “What made you love music so much?”

  “I do
n’t know. I think when I was little I dreamed of being a pop star the same way every little girl does. But at some point I realized that I really did have musical talent. So when I was around ten I asked my parents for a keyboard for Christmas. I think they thought I was crazy, but they bought it anyway. I started playing around on it, and bought some books about playing keyboard.” I shrug. “I guess it just came naturally to me.”

  “That’s amazing. I still can’t believe you taught yourself to play. That takes some real dedication.”

  I turn my head to look at him, our eyes locking. “I think when you feel strongly about something you’ll do whatever it takes to see it through.”

  It’s silent as we stare at each other. Usually silence bothers me, but in this moment as I stare into Beckett’s eyes I feel that words would cheapen the moment. His fingers trace the inside of my palm, and he looks at me with an intensity I’ve never seen in anyone before. It’s like we’re communicating without saying anything. I can see in his eyes the turmoil that he’s wrestling with. It’s almost like I can see the demons that live behind his irises. But I can also see what he feels for me, and that is something I can cling to. After several minutes, the moment is broken when Beckett smiles at me and then turns his head back to look up into the sky.

  26

  Beckett

  “Wanna know which star is my favorite?” I roll over, propping my elbow up on the blanket.

  “Which one?” Star still stares up at the inky black sky.

  “This one.” I lean over her, swiping my finger across her cheek until it reaches her lips.

  “Really?” She smiles up at me.

  “Really.” I nod, running my fingertip over her bottom lip. “And I’m tired of just staring at this Star.”

  “What do you have in mind?” She raises a brow.

  “This.” I bend over her, placing each arm around her head. Then I catch her lips in mine. Her hands come up around my face, drawing me closer. I press my lips hard against hers and coax her lips open with my tongue. Then I dart my tongue in her mouth and slide it against hers, tasting her sweetness. A tiny moan of pleasure escapes from her throat and it’s beautiful, just like how she sings. It takes all my willpower to keep my arms in place, my body slightly elevated from hers. I know if I go any further I won’t be able to stop myself. And this isn’t how I plan to have our first time. I kiss her until I can’t take it anymore. Then I push myself off and sit up, willing my body to stay calm.