M is for MALICE

by Sue Grafton

  I leaned back against the wall. My mouth flooded with something that tasted like blood. I closed my eyes tightly, conscious of the thudding of my heart and the clamminess in my palms. While Guy Malek slept, someone had crept along this hallway in the darkness last night, toting a blunt object of sufficient brute matter to extinguish his life. Less than a day ago. Less than a night. Perhaps it had taken one blow, perhaps several. What troubled me was the notion of that first bone crushing crack as his skull shattered and collapsed. Poor Guy. I hoped he hadn’t wakened before the first blow fell. Better he slept on before the last sleep became final.

  The ringing in my ears went on, mounting in intensity like the howling of wind. I was weighted with dread. Occasionally in nightmares, I suffer from this effect ��� an overpowering urge to run without the ability to move. I struggled to make a sound. I would have sworn there was a presence, someone or something, that hovered and then passed. I tried to open my eyes, almost convinced I’d see Guy Malek’s killer passing down the stairs. My heartbeat accelerated to a life-threatening pitch, thrumming in my ears like the sound of running feet. I opened my eyes. The sound ceased abruptly. Nothing. No one. The ordinary noises of the house reasserted themselves. The scene before me was blank. Polished floor. Empty hall. Incandescent light from the chandelier. Glancing back down the corridor, I could see that the X’s of crime scene tape was simply tape again. I sank down on the stairs. The whole of the experience had surely taken less than a minute, but the rush of adrenaline had left my hands shaking.

  Finally, I roused myself from the step where I’d been sitting for God knows how long. From somewhere downstairs, I could hear a mix of male and female voices, and I knew without question that Donovan, Bennet, and Jack had returned from the police station, arriving while I was still in Bader’s office. Below me, the library door stood open. Tasha and Christie must have gone to join them. Faintly, from the direction of the kitchen, I could hear the clatter of ice cubes and the clink of bottles. Drink time again. Everybody in the house seemed to need alcohol along with extended psychiatric care.

  I completed my descent, anxious to avoid encountering the family. I returned to the library, peering in with caution, relieved to see the room empty. I grabbed up my handbag and shoved the file down in the outside pocket, then headed for the front door, heart still pounding. I pulled the door shut behind me, careful to soften the sound of the latch clicking into place. Somehow it seemed important to slip away undetected. After my experience on, the stairs ��� whatever it was ��� I was incapable of making superficial conversation. It didn’t seem unreasonable to suppose that someone in this household had murdered Guy Malek and I’d be damned if I’d make nice until I knew who it was.

  Chapter 15

  *

  Back in my neighborhood, parking spaces were at a premium and I was forced to leave my VW almost a block away. I locked the car and trotted to my apartment. It was fully dark by then and a chill shivered in the trees like wind. I crossed my arms for warmth, clutching the strap of my handbag as it bumped against my side. I used to carry a handgun as a matter of course, but I’ve given up that practice. I moved through the gate, which gave its usual welcoming squeak. My place was dark, but I could see the lights on in Henry’s kitchen. I didn’t want to be alone. I headed for his backdoor and rapped on the glass.

  He emerged moments later from the living room. He gave a half wave when he saw me and crossed to let me in. “I was just watching the news. The murder’s on all channels. Sounds bad.”

  “Awful. It’s vile.”

  “Have a seat and get warmed up. It’s gotten nippy out there.”

  I said, “Don’t let me interrupt. I’ll be fine sitting here.”

  “Don’t be silly. You look cold.”

  “I’m freezing.”

  “Well, wrap up.”

  I put my bag down and grabbed his afghan, folding its weight around me like a shawl as I slid into his rocking chair. “Thanks. This is great. I’ll be warmer in a minute. It’s mostly tension.”

  “I’m not surprised. Have you eaten supper yet?”

  “I think I had lunch, but I can’t remember what I ate.”

  “I’ve got beef stew if you want. I was just about to have a bowl myself.”

  “Please.” I watched as Henry adjusted the flame under the stew. He took out a loaf of homemade bread, sliced it thickly, and placed it in a basket with a napkin folded over it. He assembled bowls and spoons, napkins, and wine glasses, moving around the kitchen with his usual ease and efficiency. Moments later, he set bowls of stew on the table. I left his rocking chair and shuffled over to the kitchen table still wrapped in his afghan. He pushed the butter in my direction as he settled in his chair. “So tell me the story. I know the basic details. They’ve been blasting that across the TV screen all afternoon.”

  I began to eat as I talked, realizing how hungry I was. “You may know more than I do. I’m too smart to stick my nose in the middle of a homicide investigation. These days it’s hard enough to put a case together without an outsider interfering.”

  “You’re not exactly an amateur.”

  “I’m not an expert either. Let the techs and forensic specialists give it their best shot. I’ll keep my distance unless I’m told otherwise. My stake’s personal, but it’s really not my business. I liked Guy. He was nice. His brothers piss me off. This is great stew.”

  “You have a theory about the murder?”

  “Let’s put it this way. This is not a case where some stranger broke in and killed Guy in the middle of a robbery. The poor man was asleep. From what I heard, everybody’d been drinking, so he more than likely passed out. He wasn’t used to hard liquor, especially in massive quantities, which is how the Maleks go at it. Somebody knew where his room was and probably knew he was in no condition to defend himself. I tell you, with the possible exception of Christie, I’ve developed such an aversion to that family I can hardly bear to be under the same roof with them. I feel guilty about Guy. I feel guilty about finding him and guilty he came back. I don’t know what else I could have done, but I wish I’d left him in Marcella where he was safe.”

  “You didn’t encourage him to return.”

  “No, but I didn’t argue that strenuously either. I should have been more explicit. I should have detailed their attitude. I thought the danger was emotional. I didn’t think anyone would go after him and bludgeon him to death.”

  “You think it was one of his brothers?”

  “I’m tempted by the idea,” I said reluctantly. “It’s a dangerous assumption and I know I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but it’s always easier to pin suspicion on someone you dislike.”

  By eight-thirty that night, I was back in my apartment with the door locked. I sat at the kitchen counter for what felt like an hour before I worked up the courage to call Peter and Winnie Antle, who’d been following the story on the Santa Maria news station. The entire church congregation had come together earlier that evening, shocked and saddened by the murder. I hoped to cushion their loss, though in reality their faith provided them more comfort than I was able to offer. I told them I’d do what I could to keep in touch, and I broke the connection feeling little or no solace. Once the lights were turned out, I lay in my bed with a stack of quilts piled over me, trying to get warm, trying to make sense of what had happened that day. I was weighted with dread. Guy’s death had generated something far worse than grief. What I experienced was not sorrow, but, a heavy regret that was wedged in my chest like an undigested lump of hot meat. I didn’t sleep well. My eyes seemed to come open every twenty minutes or so. I changed positions and adjusted the covers. First I was too hot, then too cold. I kept thinking the next arrangement of limbs would offer sufficient comfort to lure me to sleep. I lay on my stomach with my arms shoved under my pillow, turned on my back with my shoulders uncovered. I tried my left side, knees pulled up, arms tucked under, switched to my right side with one foot sticking out. I must have set the alarm without
thinking about it because the next thing I knew, the damn thing was going off in my ear, bringing me straight up out of the only decent sleep I’d managed all night. I turned off the alarm. I refused to run. There was no way I was budging from the chrysalis of heat generating quilts. Next thing I knew, it was nine-fifteen and I felt compelled to drag myself out of bed. I had a date with Jonah Robb down at the police station. I checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Nice. My color was bad and I had bags under my eyes.

  As it turned out, it wasn’t Jonah I spoke to but Lieutenant Bower. She kept me waiting for fifteen minutes, sitting on a little two-person bench in what I suppose would be referred to as the lobby at the police station. Under the watchful gaze of the officer at the desk, I shifted in my seat and stared at the rack of crime prevention pamphlets. I also eavesdropped shamelessly while six whining drivers came to complain about their traffic tickets. Finally, Lieutenant Bower peered around the door from the Investigative Division. “Miss Millhone?”

  I’d never met Betsy Bower, but I’d been curious about her. The name suggested someone perky and blond, a former varsity cheer-leader with terrific thighs and no brains. To my dismay, Lieutenant Bower was the least perky woman I’d had the pleasure to meet. She was the, police equivalent of an Amazon: statuesque, eight inches taller than I, and probably fifty pounds heavier. She had dark hair that she wore skinned straight back, and little round, gold-rimmed glasses. She had a flawless complexion. If she wore makeup at all, it was artfully done. When she spoke, I caught sight of endearingly crooked teeth, which I realized later might have explained her reluctance to smile. It was also possible she didn’t like me and longed to squash me like a bug.

  I followed her into a small cubicle with two wooden chairs and a scratched wooden table that had a tendency to wobble if you tried to rest your arm on it, pretending to be relaxed. She had nothing with her ��� no pen, no legal pad, no file, no notes. She looked directly at me, offering a few brisk sentences after which it was my turn. Somehow I had the feeling she’d remember every word I said. More likely our conversation was being recorded surreptitiously. I would have done a furtive feel-check for wiring along the underside of the table, but I was worried about the wads of old chewing gum and dried boogers parked there.

  She said, “We appreciate your coming in. I understand you were hired by the estate to locate Guy Malek. Can you tell me how you went about that?” Her gaze was watchful, her manner subdued.

  The question caught me by surprise. I felt a sudden flash of fear, color rising in my cheeks as if I’d just emerged from a tanning booth. I stalled like a little airplane with a tank full of bad fuel. Too late, I realized I should have prepared for this. Ordinarily, I don’t lie to police officers because that would be very naughty, wouldn’t it? At heart, I’m a law-and-order type. I believe in my country, the flag, paying taxes and parking tickets, returning library books on time, and crossing the street with the light. Also, I’m inclined to get tears in my eyes every time I hear the National Anthem sung by somebody who really knows how to belt it out. Right then, however, I knew I was going to have to do a little verbal tap dance because how I “went about” finding Guy Malek wasn’t exactly legitimate. Neither Darcy Pascoe nor I had any business dipping into CFI’s computer system to do a DMV check on a matter completely unrelated to an insurance claim. I’d probably violated some kind of civil ordinance or penal code number something-something. At the very least, the two of us were in serious breach of company policy, department regulations, common decency, and proper etiquette. This might well go down on my permanent record, something my elementary school principal had threatened me with every time I fled school with Jimmy Tait in the fifth and sixth grades. I didn’t think what I’d done was a jailable offense, but I was, after all, sitting at the police station and I did have my private investigator’s license to protect. Since I’d now hesitated a conspicuous five seconds, I thought it was wise to launch in on something.

  I said, “Ah. Well. I met with Donovan, Bennet, and Jack Malek last Wednesday. In the course of those conversations, I was given Guy Malek’s date of birth and his Social Security number. So late in the day on Thursday, I went over to the DMV offices and asked the clerk if there was any record of a driver’s license in Guy Malek’s name. The information that came back was that his license had been surrendered in 1968, but that he’d been issued a California identification card. His mailing address was listed in Marcella, California. I reported that to Tasha Howard, the attorney for the estate, and to Donovan Malek, who authorized me to drive up to Marcella to verify the address. Marcella’s a small town. I wasn’t there ten minutes before I got a line on Guy. Frankly, I didn’t think he should come down here.”

  “Why is that?”

  Hey, as long as my butt wasn’t on the line, I didn’t care who I ratted out here. “His brothers were upset at having to give him a share of their father’s estate. They felt he’d been paid all the monies he was entitled to. There was the issue of a second will, which came up missing when the old man died. Bennet was convinced his father had disinherited Guy, but since that will was never found, the prior will was the one being entered into probate.” I did a little detour at that point, giving Lieutenant Bower the gist of the business about Max Outhwaite, whose letter to the Dispatch had set all the adverse publicity in motion. She didn’t leap up with excitement, but it did serve to distract her (I hoped), from the issue of my illegal computer access.

  She took me through a series of questions related to the Maleks’ attitude toward Guy, which I characterized as hostile. I told her about the outburst I’d witnessed between Donovan and Bennet. She asked me a number of pointed questions about Jack’s statements regarding Guy, but I honestly couldn’t think of anything he’d said that suggested a homicidal bent. In our initial conversation, he’d expressed bitterness at Guy’s defection, but that had been almost eighteen years ago, so I wasn’t convinced it was relevant. Though I didn’t say so to her, I’d pegged Jack as the family mascot, someone harmless and doglike, trained to distract others with his antics. I didn’t feature him as a prime player in any ongoing domestic drama.

  “When did you last talk to Guy?” she asked.

  “He called Monday night. He needed a break so I drove over to the house and met him near the side gate. I was glad to hear from him. I’d been worried because I knew the media had picked up the story. Peter Antle, the pastor of his church up north, had been trying to get in touch with him. The house was literally under siege and it wasn’t possible to get a call through. I’d driven over there once before, hoping to make contact, and I’d just about given up.”

  “Why were you so interested in talking to him?”

  “Largely, because Peter and his wife, Winnie, were concerned.”

  “Aside from that.”

  I stared at her, wondering what she had in mind. Did she think I was romantically involved? “You never met Guy,” I said, stating it as fact and not a question.

  “No.” Her face was without animation. Her curiosity was professional and had an analytic cast to it. That was her job, of course, but I found myself struggling to articulate his appeal.

  “Guy Malek was a beautiful man,” I said in a voice suddenly fragile. Inexplicably, I found myself pricked by grief. My eyes stung with tears. I could feel my face get puffy and my nose turn hot. It seemed odd that in Henry’s company I’d felt nothing while there, but in the face of Betsy Bowers’s cold authority, all my unprocessed sorrow was surfacing. I took a deep breath, trying to cover my emotions. I was avoiding her eyes, but she must have picked up on my distress because she produced a tissue from somewhere that suddenly appeared in my field of vision. I took it with gratitude, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

  Within moments, I was fine. I have strong self-control and managed to get my emotions back in the box again. “Sorry. I’m not sure where that came from. I really haven’t felt much sorrow since I heard about his death. I should have guessed it was down there. He was a go
od person and I’m really sorry he’s gone.”

  “I can understand that,” she said. “Would you care for some water?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said. “It’s funny ��� I really only saw him three times. We talked on the phone, but we weren’t exactly best friends. He seemed boyish, a young soul. I must have a weakness for guys who never quite manage to grow up. I’d already given Donovan an invoice and I figured my job was done. Then Guy called on Saturday. Donovan had called him, urging him to come down so they could talk about the will. Personally, I didn’t think the visit was such a hot idea, but Guy was determined.”

  “Did he say why?”

  “He had emotional accounts to pay. At the time he left home, he was messed up on drugs. He’d been in a lot of trouble and alienated just about everyone. Once he was settled in Marcella, he cleaned up his act, but he’d left a lot of unfinished business. He said he wanted to make his peace.”

  “When you last spoke to him, did he mention contact with other people from his past?”

  “No. I know a letter was delivered ��� Christie mentioned it last night ��� but that came on Monday and Guy never said a word about it when I saw him. As far as I know, there was nothing else. Was it significant?”