“Ah, nothing. I always get like this before I go on. Goodness knows why. I’m a grown man.”
“Age has nothing to do with it. We all get nervous, Greg. You’ll be fine.” Her words of encouragement spurred me on and I took my place behind the mic. My nerves were a little calmer and I glanced over at Mallory as she smiled back at me with her thumbs up.
I returned her smile and then focussed my attention on the crowd. “Evening, all, anyone would think something was going on with all of youse turning up tonight. As always, I’ll steer clear of my own stuff—but be warned, one of these days I’m going to sneak one in when you’re not looking.” The folks in the pub laughed and I relaxed a little more. “Don’t forget, no singing along, it puts me off and youse lot can’t sing anyway.” The retorts and heckling made me laugh.
My first song was special. It was for Mallory. She and I somehow had forged a friendship, and it was a beautiful thing. “Right, this first song is a wee bit obscure, but I love it so tough. It’s by a band called Nirvana that takes me back to my younger days. I’d like to dedicate this to someone who I think I can now class as a good mate. This is ‘About a Girl’.”
I began to strum with my eyes closed and when I opened them and glanced over, Mallory was dancing and with a stunning smile on her face, and I felt amazing.
At the end of the night all I wanted to do was talk to Mallory and find out what she thought of my set, but I was swamped. A group of women of all ages caged me in. Asking for my autograph and my number. I was shocked. And flattered. Being treated like a rock star made a change from being seen as the grumpy git. When the ladies eventually let me be, I made my way over to the bar.
“Get you with your groupies,” Mallory joked when I stopped in front of her.
“Aye, they cannae resist,” I joked. “What did you think tonight, matey?”
She smiled but it was rapidly followed by a frown. “I thought it was a bit rubbish, really.”
Bollocks. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
A grin pulled at her mouth. “God, for someone who doesn’t get offended easily, you get offended… easily!” She threw a bar towel at me. “You were fab as always, you numpty.” She was the only bloody person who’d ever rattled my cage that way, and it was a little disconcerting.
She said that she especially liked the Nirvana track, and I ribbed her about her young age. When I offered to walk her across home, she ribbed me about my groupies again, joking that they might lynch her if they saw us together. The banter we were sharing was fun. It was good craic, and ours was beginning to feel like a real friendship. Knowing this, however, had me worrying that she wouldn’t stick around and that I’d miss her terribly if she chose to leave.
When we arrived at her cottage we were greeted by an excited little ball of black fluff. Ruby was making a high-pitched yipping noise as if she hadn’t seen her owner for weeks. I glanced over to the answering machine, where I noticed there was a message. Mallory had gone through to the kitchen to make coffee, and so I shouted to let her know.
She brought the coffee back through and after placing it down, she hit play on the machine.
“Oh, hi, Mally. It’s Josie. Look… I’m really sorry, but we can’t make it up for your birthday. Brad has a lot on with his latest job and we just won’t get the time to come up. I’m sure you’ll understand, babe. I’ll ring you later. Love you! Bye-bye.”
I swallowed hard and glanced over at her. She looked broken and I felt like a total bastard. After the fun of the night and how great things had been, I’d inadvertently shit on her from a great height. Well fucking done, McBradden, you tosser.
Sitting beside her on the couch, I draped my arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry. We’ll still have a laugh. I’ll keep you entertained.” She didn’t respond and so I nudged her. “Look, we’ll have drink at the pub and then take a bucket barbie onto the beach and I’ll cook a steak, eh?”
She was on the verge of tears but she tried to smile. My heart broke. After a thoughtful pause, she nodded emphatically. “Yes, thanks, Greg, I appreciate it.”
I knew I had a hell of a lot of making up to do for the upset I’d caused her, but at least Operation Make Mallory Smile was working so far. I would be taking her to the beach, so she thought. I just hoped I hadn’t made a huge mistake.
~~~
The day of Mallory’s birthday arrived and thankfully the sun was shining down. Taking that as a good sign, I stood in my garden ready to go down and wish the birthday girl many happy returns of the day when I stopped and glanced up at the sky. I didn’t know what I believed in as far as heaven was concerned, but I hoped it existed and that Sam was okay with what I was doing for his woman.
I glanced around my road to make sure no one was within earshot. I didn’t want anyone to hear or see what I was about to do. If they saw, chances were they’d think I was a few beer bottles short of a brewery. I had no idea why, but I felt compelled to do it. I cleared my throat like it would make a difference.
Looking up into the blue, I began to speak. “Sam… mate. I know I never met you. But I know for a fact that you’d rather be here right now with your beautiful girl than wherever you are.” I felt my throat tighten and swallowed before I could continue. “I just wanted to say that… well, I hope it’s okay that I’ve arranged this party for her. I’m not trying to take your place, you know. I just… I know what she’s going through. How much she misses you. It’s the same way I feel about Mairi. It’s a pain so real that it can be all consuming, but… because I understand that… because I lost my Mairi like Mallory lost you… I want to make your girl smile. Even if it only takes her mind off her grief for one night. I hope that’s okay. I really care for her, mate. She’s one of kind, is Mallory, and I can see why you loved her so much. Not that… not that I love her, you understand. Only as a friend. That’s all. But… well, I hope I have your blessing today.” My eyes began to sting as I compared my loss to Mallory’s. It hit home yet again how much we had in common. We were a pair of broken souls with pieces missing and neither of us truly knew if the holes inside us would ever heal. I felt a familiar tightening in my chest and cleared my throat again, dropping my gaze back to the road before me.
I wanted so much for this all to be okay. I’d never planned a party for someone else before, and I still didn’t know Mallory all that well, but… Well, there was a hell of a lot riding on this. Mainly my friendship with Mallory. Because that’s what this was… a friendship. Wasn’t it? My train of thought scared me again. Why would I question my feelings? This was a friendship. Of course it bloody was. Gah! I needed to stop thinking and just fucking get on with it. I climbed in the Landy and set off.
Chapter Twenty-Two
A few minutes later I arrived outside Mallory’s house and climbed out of the car clutching the bunch of helium balloons I’d bought especially with Thirty Today plastered all over them. I hoped she wasn’t one of these women who hated everyone knowing her age, but I figured it was a bit fucking late now. Just like me to worry about shutting the stable door after the horse had already done a runner.
After a calming breath I knocked on the door. I knew she would be in as Stella had given her the day off and insisted she relax and pamper herself. But knowing what a big deal this day was to her, I wasn’t sure what kind of mood I’d find her in.
She opened the door and when she saw me she tried to smile. But the smile didn’t light up her eyes like I’d seen before. Her eyes were… empty. Distant even. I knew I had to remedy that right away. I began to sing “Happy Birthday” at the top of my voice in the flattest key I could come up with. I knew that the neighbours would hear me if they were about, but that just spurred me on. It sounded horrendous—and she burst into fits of giggles, grabbed my jacket, and tugged me into the house and almost off my feet. I couldn’t help but join in her laughter. It was always contagious when she laughed.
“Come in, you nutter.”
Once inside I let the balloons float up to t
he low ceiling and handed her the gift bag that I’d brought with me. Her eyes widened for a moment, but she shook her head slightly to rid whatever thought had sprung up. She peered into the bag and pulled out the first parcel. Ripping off the paper eagerly, she smiled at the pack of craft pens I’d bought for her.
“Oh, Greg, that’s lovely. Thanks ever so much.” She seemed genuinely touched.
“There’s something else in there too,” I told her as I pointed at the bag. She put her hand inside again and brought out the little black velvet box.
“Oh,” she whispered. Her gaze met mine and then dropped to the box. This happened a couple more times and I smiled at her surprised reaction. She opened it and gasped as she took out the silver chain with a Celtic pendant hanging from it.
“It’s a Celtic knot,” I informed her. “It’s the symbol for friendship.” Suddenly my cheeks began to heat and I watched as her eyes became glassy and filled with emotion. No, no, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.
“Oh, Greg, it’s beautiful.” Suddenly her arms were around my neck and she was squeezing me so tight that I thought I might pass out. When she pulled away, her cheeks were flushed and she swallowed hard, keeping her gaze on mine. She stepped back and I mourned the loss of her closeness. Holding her had felt so good; right somehow. But yet again the guilt struck and I ran my hand through my hair, breaking eye contact and feeling awkward. I just couldn’t meet those blue eyes at that moment. I could easily have fallen in and drowned in them.
“Here, put it on me,” she said, holding out the chain to me. I obliged, sweeping her long, dark hair over one shoulder. My fingers grazed the skin at the nape of her neck and she shivered slightly. Her skin was so smooth and flawless and all I could think about was placing one kiss there, on her bare skin. Just one. But instead I fastened the necklace in place and pulled her hair around so that it fell in soft waves down her back. I tried to ignore the ache in my chest as she turned to face me.
“Gorgeous,” I whispered.
And she really was.
~~~
We made arrangements for the barbie I’d convinced Mallory we were having that evening, and she seemed to have cheered up plenty, which in turn made me happy. I left her with instructions to get dressed up for the ultimate, exclusive beach-dining experience. Of course she had no clue that she was going to be walking into a pub filled with her family and friends.
I couldn’t wait.
Later on at home, after I’d showered, towelled myself off, and trimmed my beard, I stood in front of my wardrobe in my fitted boxers with my hands on my hips. I wanted to make an effort like I did when I was playing. After all, I was playing.
Angus watched me intently.
“What do I wear, fella?” I asked him.
He wagged his tail in response.
“Do I go with a shirt?”
No wag.
“A long-sleeved T-shirt?”
Wag.
Okay, that was that decision made. “Right… What colour, Angus? Black?
No wag.
“Okay, not black. Actually, you’re probably right. Black is depressing and this is a happy occasion. How about white?”
Wag.
“Great stuff. I should do this more often, eh? Let you make my important decisions for me.”
Wag. He clearly agreed.
“So how about my black jeans?”
Wag, wag, wag.
“Angus you could give Gok Wan a run for his money, pal.” I scratched his head as his long tongue lolled out of his mouth.
After wardrobe guidance from my canine companion—remember what I keep saying about not judging me—I pulled on a white long-sleeved T-shirt and my favourite leather jacket with my black jeans. I slicked my hair back as best I could and decided I would have to do. She wasn’t going to find me attractive, so what did it matter? As long as I felt good, that would do; and Angus clearly approved, so all was good.
~~~
At half seven I knocked on her door and she opened it as if she’d been eagerly awaiting my arrival. The thought made my insides knot up. I felt like a bloody teenage lad on prom night, for fuck’s sake. I was greeted with the breathtaking sight of Mallory standing there in a long turquoise-and-black skirt and a V-neck T-shirt in the same turquoise. I could see a hint of cleavage and it made my mouth water. She looked very classy and more than a little bit sexy. I forgot how to speak for a few moments—all the blood that should’ve been in my head had descended south of my waistline. She asked if she looked okay and I just stared at her.
Realising she had in fact asked me a question, I managed to say, “You look… great.” And boy, did she. I wanted to run my hand down the side of her just to feel the sweep of the inward curve of her waist. Fuck! Thinking like that’s not helping the blood supply to your brain, you dick. Snapping myself out of the stupor, I suggested we go for a birthday drink over at the pub. Thankfully she agreed. Phew! So far so good, McBradden. Appears you’re not a complete tool after all.
When we arrived at the pub, I opened the door and gestured for her to go in first. She made some comment about me being the perfect gentleman, but I was too scared to respond. What if she didn’t like what was coming? My heart was in my throat and I felt like I might puke it up at any second.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“SURPRISE!” everyone shouted in unison. It was deafening, as the pub was packed with people.
I stood there, leaning on the door frame with my arms folded, and watched as the shock registered on her beautiful face. Cameras flashed and party poppers exploded, covering Mallory in streams of silver, gold, and pastel-coloured paper. Grinning to myself, I took in the sight of her happiness and knew then and there that I’d done the right thing. But I also knew then and there that my heart would never be the same again.
I was falling.
Fuck it, who was I kidding? It was too late. I already had.
She turned to meet my eyes, hers narrowed suspiciously, and pointed at me. “You knew?”
I chuckled as I held up my thumb and finger. “Little bit.”
Josie appeared and Mallory burst into tears of happiness. I heard her exclaim, “But… but you rang! You weren’t coming!”
A teary-eyed Josie, in true Josie form, shouted back, “You daft cow! Do you think I’d miss this? Not a chance. We were always going to be here, but we were the first people Greg rang when he decided to plan this thing.”
I saw Mallory cover her mouth but I didn’t catch what she said as she was scooped up in a group hug by her Canadian family. Even the new addition to the family, a cute baby boy, had made the journey. More and more people surrounded her, and I took that as my cue to stop staring and grab a drink. The nerves had started jangling, seeing as it was soon time for the next part of my surprise for Mallory.
Stella poured me a whiskey without my needing to ask. “How are you doing, Gregory?”
“I’m bloody terrified. What the fuck’s wrong with me? I’m a grown man.”
“Nerves can apply to anyone. And it only means that you care.”
“Aye, well, not in the way you think,” I lied.
She gave me a knowing smile and shook her head. “Are you ready to go on?”
“Just give me a while to calm my nerves and I will be.”
“Well, don’t be getting drunk and spoiling it. I know what you get like, remember?”
I grimaced in disgust at her accusation. It didn’t matter that it was true. “As if I would spoil that lassie’s birthday. Pah!” I drained the glass and edged through the crowd to take my place behind the mic.
“Evening, party people!” I searched the room, looking for the birthday girl, and spotted her giggling away with her best friend. “Well, we’re all here tonight to celebrate the fact that Mallory is, and I quote, ‘getting old’.” Everyone laughed and turned to face her. She went bright red and I couldn’t help laughing. I’d pay for that later, no doubt. “I reckon the first number tonight requires a bit of audience participation.
Which, as you may know, is not something I usually encourage. You all know the words and this time you can sing along!” A cheer erupted around the room as I began to play the opening bars of “Happy Birthday.”
Mallory’s grin told me she was having a whale of a time, and that made me all warm and fuzzy inside—or it could’ve been the whiskey, or maybe both. Anyway, when the raucous rendition of the birthday classic had ended, she turned to me and mouthed the words thank you and I responded with a smile and you’re welcome. The urge to hug her came over me again but I fought it down.
“Right, that’s enough of you lot singing! It’s my turn now, and you know what I always say?”
“DON’T BLOODY SING ALONG!” Everyone shouted together, and Mallory threw her head back with laughter.
I laughed along too. Mallory laughing was the best sight I’d witnessed in a very long time. “Aye, that’s right, and don’t you forget it.”
I serenaded the crowd with songs from the likes of Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Oasis, Fleetwood Mac, and Pearl Jam to name but a few. Dougie Maclean’s “Caledonia” had a few folks weeping—not surprising, seeing as it had that effect on me sometimes too.
Taking a break, I went over to grab the birthday girl. “Can I buy you a drink?” I shouted over the noise of the crowd and the jukebox that Stella had switched on.
“I’ll have my usual, please.” She smiled knowingly. But I wasn’t going to rib her about her drink choice. Not tonight. When I brought her drink back, “Hi Ho Silver Lining” began to play and Mallory screamed.
“Ooooh I love this song! We’ve got to dance!”
I threw my head back and guffawed at her enthusiasm. “Aye, okay, birthday girl.” Well, I couldn’t not dance with her on her birthday now, could I? I slipped my arm around her waist and we took the pose of a ballroom dancing couple, except she was singing so loud I could hardly dance for laughing. I spun her around and the whole pub joined us with the chorus. Her blue eyes sparkled. There was life in them again. And the fact that I’d helped to put it there made my eyes sting with unshed tears.
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