by Marci Bolden
“I had margaritas one time. I didn’t like how they made me feel.”
Ellen chuckled as she winked at Carol. “I think she liked it a little too much.”
Carol cringed. “If this is going to turn into a story about my mom’s sex life, I’m out.”
Ellen laughed, and Judith tossed a towel at her sister.
“I didn’t…” Judith started and then frowned. “One time when I was visiting this misfit in Boulder, after you moved to St. Louis,” she clarified, “I went out to dinner with your aunt, and she ordered us margaritas.”
“Your mom went wild,” Ellen said as she raised her arms and waved her hands.
“Wild how?” Carol sank back in her chair when Judith glared at her sister. “Mom?”
“I…I may have…” Judith stuttered.
“She got arrested,” Ellen spit out. “For disorderly conduct.”
Carol gasped and held her mouth open wide as she processed that information. “What did she do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Judith stated. “I was intoxicated in public.”
“Oh, there’s more to this story,” Carol said. “I want details.” She creased her brow. “Or maybe I don’t. I’m not sure.”
Ellen started to talk, but Judith turned on the blender to drown her out. Carol watched her mom smirk as her aunt threw her head back and hooted out a laugh. In that moment, Carol didn’t care why her mom had gotten arrested. She didn’t care about anything. This moment was perfect. This was the best, and most surprising, way to end her visit.
They were happy in that moment. All of them. Even her mom, who Carol had spent most of her life believing didn’t know how to be happy. She didn’t have to know what her mom had done. She laughed anyway.
As the blender stopped, she confessed. “I got arrested too. Last year.”
Her mom and aunt stopped moving as they stared at her.
“I, um…” She giggled. “I took a tire iron to the road where Tobias got hit. Apparently that’s illegal in the state of Texas.” She smiled, despite the concern on their faces. “Come on. Picture this. Me waking up alone in the morning and getting so angry that I drove five blocks, in silk, leopard-print pajamas, and stood in the road hitting the asphalt. In heels, no less, because I couldn’t find my slippers.”
Ellen glanced at Judith, clearly gauging her response, before filling a glass. “Sounds like something that would happen on a soap opera.”
Carol chuckled, but her mom didn’t. She hadn’t meant to ruin the mood, but in that moment, she realized she had. A cloud suddenly seemed to be hovering over the room, and Carol hated that. They’d been in a good place. “Mom,” she said firmly but with a smile on her face. “Relax. That was a year ago. I’m fine now and completely capable of laughing at the situation. You should too.”
Judith shook her head and grabbed two margarita glasses. “Well,” she said, walking across the kitchen with the drinks, “you still haven’t outdone your aunt, even with the leopard-print pajamas and heels. Go ahead, Ellen… Tell her all about your criminal record. Or at least part of it. We don’t have all night.”
Carol widened her eyes and let her mouth drop open. “Aunt Ellen! How many times have you been arrested?”
Ellen grinned as she joined them at the table. “Well. The first time…”
Epilogue
The tranquility Carol felt standing at the banister while mist from Niagara Falls washed over her was something she’d never felt before. She was healing. Really healing. Her hurt wasn’t gone, but she had learned she could live without bottling the pain up and pretending like it didn’t exist. She’d probably struggle the rest of her life with some of the choices she’d made, but she had accepted that she’d done her best.
She’d been the best wife to John she could be at the time. She’d been the best daughter she could be given the circumstances. She’d been a wonderful mother to Katie. Not perfect, but she’d done her best. Age had given her the courage to face her faults, and she was doing better now. That was something to be proud of. She was proud.
This was the last stop on the list she had plotted out for John and Katie. She’d done what she had promised him. She’d done what she could to honor him and what he’d meant to their daughter.
The next leg of her journey would be for Tobias. Taking a deep breath, she imagined the scent of the Salvia dorisiana he’d so loved. The sweet smell would forever and always remind her of their life together.
Another wave of peace came over her. She felt the calm that thinking of his garden brought to her, as if he were there, reading her thoughts, telling her the time had come for her to say her goodbye to him. She was ready. Hard as it had been, she was getting better at saying goodbye. She looked up at the rushing water one more time before walking away.
As soon as she returned to her RV, she shook out her raincoat and hung it in the small shower so it could properly dry. Snagging a towel off the hook, she wiped away the lingering moisture from her face and hair.
Sitting at the little table where she’d left her laptop and phone, she tossed the towel on the surface. The last thing she’d wanted was for her phone to get damaged by the ever-present mist in the air. Rather than risk taking the device, she’d left it behind.
Tapping the screen to bring it to life, she noticed she’d missed a call. She would have expected it to be from her mother, who called and checked on her almost every day now. The call wasn’t from her mom though. The missed call was from Simon Miller.
Though they’d texted a few times, staying in touch as they’d agreed, they hadn’t spoken since she’d seen him in Dayton. Curious, she dialed into her voice mail.
“Caroline.” He laughed awkwardly. “Um, it’s Simon, and um…”
She smiled as she sat back. He used to fumble like this around her all the time. He’d be the world’s most confident doctor when dealing with the parents of his patients, but he could barely ask her to pass him the ketchup in the cafeteria. She’d loved that about him then, and apparently she still did, considering the size of her smile.
“I know it’s not my place to worry about you,” he continued rambling, “but every time I think about you out on the road alone, I get a knot in my stomach. Would you please call me and let me know you’re okay? I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. I guess I always did where you were concerned.”
Carol sat a bit taller. She hadn’t been expecting that.
“Shit. This all sounded so much better in my head,” he said. “Would you call me? Please. And wait until you’re done laughing about what an ass I’ve made of myself. Thanks.”
She wasn’t laughing, but she did giggle at his last statement. When his message ended, she hung up without deleting the recording. Turning her face toward the refrigerator, her eyes immediately caught on the photo of Tobias and her. The one that had been there from the day they’d bought the RV.
A strange sensation of guilt nagged deep in her gut, but she pushed it away. She and Simon may have reconnected after all these years, but she had no reason to feel bad for that. There was no forbidden romance blooming this time. There weren’t going to be any secret glances or whispered arrangements to meet somewhere. She wouldn’t be stopping by his apartment for a quick rendezvous before heading home to her miserable marriage.
Simon had been a friend before he’d been a lover, and he could be a friend again. Even with that decision made, she glanced at Tobias smiling down at her and pushed her phone away. She’d call Simon later. For now, she had plans to make.
With the weather quickly changing, she intended to head south. Southwest to be more specific. She had a few places to get to on her list before the cold set in. Then she would head to St. Louis. She’d promised Mary she would be there for Thanksgiving.
She’d also told her mom and aunt she’d be in Florida for Christmas. They hadn’t been together on Christmas Day since the year before Katie had died. Carol was looking forward to being with her mom for the holiday. That was new.
&
nbsp; So she’d go from New York to the Southwest and then back east for the holidays.
“Then what?” she asked herself.
Then, she realized, she would figure out the next place. One step at a time, as Mary had told her so many times over the last year. One step at a time.
The first step was…
The first step was returning Simon’s call and letting him know she was okay. Carol grabbed her phone and tapped the screen.
Closing her eyes, she took a breath and let it out slowly as the line rang.
“Hey,” he answered.
Just like it had done all those years ago, the sound of his voice soothed her nerves, put her mind at ease, and brought a smile to her face. Looking at Tobias’s picture, Carol could have sworn she heard his voice repeating her new mantra.
One step at a time.
* * *
Carol Denman’s journey continues in
A Life Without Regrets.
Coming December 2020!
Also by Marci Bolden
A Life Without Water Series:
A Life Without Water
A Life Without Flowers
A Life Without Regrets (Coming Dec. 2020)
Stonehill Series:
The Road Leads Back
Friends Without Benefits
The Forgotten Path
Jessica’s Wish
This Old Cafe
Forever Yours
The Women of Hearts Series:
Hidden Hearts
Burning Hearts
Stolen Hearts
Secret Hearts
Other Titles:
California Can Wait
Seducing Kate
The Rebound
About the Author
As a teen, Marci Bolden skipped over young adult books and jumped right into reading romance novels. She never left.
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Marci lives in the Midwest with her husband, kiddos, and numerous rescue pets. If she had an ounce of willpower, Marci would embrace healthy living, but until cupcakes and wine are no longer available at the local market, she will appease her guilt by reading self-help books and promising to join a gym “soon.”
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Visit her here:
www.marcibolden.com