“Ah, such sweet betrayal,” the Keeper of Secrets said. “This was worth watching.”
Raeb gripped Sunray until his joints ached. This bastard had ruined everything and thought it entertaining? He tensed and pounced in an instant, lunging toward Saydee and swiping the Entana blades above her head. The perilous connection the Keeper of Secrets used to tap into Saydee’s mind was severed, and the girl crumpled like a discarded puppet.
He stood there, numb, for what seemed like hours. Everything had crashed down around him in just a few moments. And, he noted with surprise, he’d lost more than just his plans for freedom. He’d lost friends.
That stung more deeply than he’d anticipated.
He sank to the ground, staring at Saydee’s unconscious form, and wished he could find the same oblivion to put his turmoil to rest.
23
Raeb had tried to kill him. And he hadn’t been able to do a thing about it.
Aeo seethed inside his metal prison. He hadn’t felt trapped inside the Bok’Tarong for a long time—but today, he’d give anything to escape from the blades. His life had been threatened, and he could do nothing but stare into Raeb’s haunted Entana eyes and wait for the bite of Sunray.
The last time he’d felt that useless, he’d crawled into the forest and killed himself.
He’d been bombarded by thoughts and regrets in that moment. If only he’d been a better man in his lifetime. If only he’d been able to see this through. He’d have been happy to die, if he could have taken the Entana with him. But to die like that … He wished he could stay with Dragana for just a little while longer.
He’d looked into Raeb’s eyes, overwhelmed by self-loathing and helplessness, and found he wasn’t the only one.
That look brought a whole new flood of thoughts. He remembered the feel of Raeb’s soul when he’d held the Bok’Tarong, the flashes of a wounded man who was still alive because his masters demanded it of him. He felt Raeb’s hatred of them, burning inside him like an inferno, and Aeo hadn’t been afraid anymore. Once he’d seen Raeb’s eyes, he hadn’t worried for his life. Whatever the Keeper of Secrets had done to Raeb, he despised it more than anything else in the world. And he would defy the Entana at every turn.
But looking back at how they’d controlled Raeb, Aeo shuddered. How powerful were the Entana, to use Raeb like a puppet and force him to turn on his friends?
Aeo wasn’t even sure how he should react to this. There was anger somewhere in there, and a little fright, but at the moment what he felt the most was confusion.
Dragana, though … her emotions were rioting enough for both of them. The force of her anger was terrifying, but Aeo was more concerned with the pain burning beneath it. The warm flame of affection she’d developed for Raeb had frozen so hard and so fast the cold seared her heart. He could feel the pressure of tears in the back of her throat.
She plodded through the snow, paying no attention to where they were going or any obstacles along the way. She couldn’t seem to muster up the energy for anything more.
Do you want to talk? he asked.
Dragana said, “No,” but her thoughts screamed how could he do this he betrayed us it’s my fault I never should have trusted a -taken.
He was dumbstruck by the stark disconnect between her thoughts and her words. Dragana had always been one to speak her mind, or at least to hide her true thoughts well enough he couldn’t reach them. But these were so powerful they leapt from her mind and threatened to bowl him over. Where are we going?
“Away.” West.
Aeo knew why she was heading that way. The war, and its -taken soldiers, was in the west. He didn’t need to read her thoughts to understand her intentions. I didn’t think you were going to kill -taken anymore.
Her thoughts said, Killing -taken is all I know. “I have to do something.”
Aeo started to reply, but Dragana cut him off. “I’ve put off my obligations for too long,” she said. “I let Ra … that -taken distract me. I am a Taronese warrior and the bearer of the Bok’Tarong. It’s my duty to keep the Entana from spreading. It’s about time I got to it.”
But Dragana, something’s wrong. Why would Raeb turn on us like that?
“He’s a -taken. And a traitor. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this.”
You can’t believe he misled us this whole time on purpose, can you? Raeb is our friend. This is the Entana’s fault. It must be. And if they’re powerful enough to force Raeb to try something like that, then they have to be up to something.
“You aren’t even a little upset at what he almost did to you?”
Sure I am. But I want to make sure I’m upset at the right people, and I don’t think Raeb’s the one.
“Then who is?”
The Entana.
A growl surfaced in the back of Dragana’s throat. “I’m always upset at the Entana.”
Then let’s do something about it.
“That’s what I’m doing.”
You know what I mean, Aeo replied. Let’s do something meaningful, something that would stop them forever.
“I’m not going back.” An image of the Mage General flashed through her mind, followed by the hordes of willing -taken in his army. “I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago. I’m going to stop this war from forcing innocent soldiers to accept monsters into themselves.”
He had to admit, Dragana’s plan sounded like a good one. There was a lot going on in the west. Breeding -taken, people willingly accepting Entana possession. The Mage General’s actions could ruin Arata if he wasn’t stopped.
But by leaving Raeb and Saydee, they were walking away from an opportunity they would never find again. What good would stopping the Mage General do, if the Entana were allowed to endure? The cycle would continue. More people would be -taken, more lives lost.
And what was the Keeper of Secrets up to, with his puppetry of Raeb? Aeo couldn’t let that go. The churning in his gut told him this was important, maybe even more dangerous than the Mage General’s plans in the west.
Dragana, I don’t think …
“Aeo, if you don’t shut up I’ll leave you by the side of the road for some brainless assassin to pick up.”
He was stunned into silence for a moment, more hurt than he’d care to admit. Brainless assassin? Is that what I’ve been reduced to?
She took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and blew it out noisily. She rolled her shoulders and tried to force herself to relax. “I’m sorry, Aeo. I didn’t … I just …” Another breath, this one filled with regret and pain. “I gave him a chance and it almost cost us everything. I won’t make that mistake again.”
But Dragana …
“No. I won’t hear any more about it. We’re going west and we’re going to stop the Mage General.” Her tone had been harsh, but her thoughts were pleading and sounded near tears. Please, Aeo, don’t make this any harder than it already is.
No matter how badly he wanted to argue the point, to force her to return to Raeb and figure this out together, he couldn’t bear to hear the pain in her thoughts. Pushing her would only make things worse.
All right, then, west we go.
Dragana’s thoughts retreated into the chill numbness of her emotions. Aeo let her be.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. They could still do some good in the west, while Dragana cooled down. And maybe Aeo could figure out how to fix the mess their lives had suddenly become.
Raeb didn’t dare return to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to escape the weariness of this life, even for a few hours, but sleep wouldn’t give him that kind of rest. He leaned against a tree, watching the embers’ glow fade, as the stars winked out and weak light preceded the dawn.
When Saydee woke, he took a long look at her eyes—pupil even more elongated, the whites surrounding them edging ever closer to true black. If the Keeper of Secrets kept hijacking her mind like this, it wouldn’t be long before she became fully -taken.
&nbs
p; She sat up slowly, rubbing at the muscles of her neck, looking around the forest with sleepy confusion. It took her a few moments to focus on Raeb, and when she did the lingering tension in her muscles eased.
She must have read the turmoil on his face, because a scowl spread across hers. “What’s wrong?” She paused, taking a closer look at their half-abandoned campsite. “Where’s Dragana?”
Where indeed? Far out of his reach. “They left.”
“When will she be back?”
The words were like a bitter poison on his tongue, but he forced himself to say them. “They won’t.”
Saydee scooted closer and peered at him with her keen Entana eyes. “Raeb, what happened?”
He threw a twig into the dying coals, watching it shrivel to ash in the heat. Just like his life had done last night—crumble to ash.
“The Keeper of Secrets forced my hand, and Dragana discovered the nature of my mission. It didn’t agree with her.”
“What do you mean, ‘your mission’?”
He’d avoided this moment for decades. He’d never told another soul what his mission from the Entana had been, in some kind of insane hope that keeping it a secret would keep it from being real. But now the secret was out. There was nothing to lose. And yet, he still wished with all his heart he didn’t have to say it aloud.
He took a deep breath and plunged forward before he lost his nerve. “You knew something was different about me right from the start. You said you wanted to be free from the Entana, like I was.”
Saydee nodded.
“The truth is, I’m not free. I never have been. If anything, I’m more a slave to them than you are.
“Before the Entana found me, I was a Taronese warrior-in-training. My entire life was consumed with learning to fight and praying one day I’d be chosen to bear the Bok’Tarong.” He’d stopped smiling at those memories long ago. Now they were so faded they hardly even brought him sadness. “Then I was -taken.”
He sank into a deep, mournful silence. No matter how many years passed, this memory would never fade. Sudden pain, like a dagger impaling your brain. Scrambled thoughts, confusion as you feel something stirring in your mind. Revulsion. Terror. Not knowing what was happening as your mind is torn apart … then the horror. Realization. Truth. You were now a slave of the Entana. A -taken. Never to be your own person again.
Then blurriness. Pain. Screams being ripped from your throat until you no longer sound human. Agony. Gaping holes in your mind, memories forever lost. Sickness spreading through your body as you cry and vomit and thrash against the invisible, untouchable monster in your head.
Finally, blessed quiet. But nothing remotely close to peace. Never again.
Raeb wrestled his thoughts away from the memory, nausea roiling through him. His hands were shaking. “I left the temple as soon as I could. I knew once the masters discovered what had happened, they’d kill me. I should have stayed and let them. It would have been the honorable thing to do, but I was too afraid to face death. So I ran.
“I fought against the Entana as best as I could, but you know how useless that is. And then, a few months after fleeing the temple, the Entana tried to feed on a memory of the Bok’Tarong.” He paused, reliving one of the few images from his past that was still crystal clear. “I was eight, maybe ten years old, when the sword-bearer returned to the temple. I’d hid outside the dojo for hours, hoping to catch a glimpse of the sword. And when I did, every hardship I’d gone through was worthwhile. I’d never seen anything as enchanting as those rosy gold blades. From that day on, my entire existence was focused on earning the right to bear that sword.”
The sweetness of the memory soured as he continued. “As soon as the image of the Bok’Tarong rose in my mind, the Entana froze. I could sense its frustration—it wanted to feed on that memory, but something held it back. And that was when I met the Keeper of Secrets.” This memory, too, was crystal clear, as much as Raeb wished it wasn’t. “He’d seen I was once a Taronese warrior-in-training, and he wouldn’t let an opportunity like that pass by. He promised me my freedom in exchange for one small task: I had to destroy the Bok’Tarong.”
“And you agreed?” Saydee asked. Raeb wasn’t sure if it was contempt or confusion in her voice, but he didn’t care. He’d allowed the Keeper of Secrets to manipulate him into betraying everything he’d ever worked for. His own cowardice had ruined his life. He already hated himself enough for a thousand people.
“No. I refused. But the Keeper of Secrets wouldn’t let me. I could either accept or endure a lingering existence on the brink of madness. He assured me he could make me suffer for an eternity, unable to do anything but kill and spread the Entana to the entire Taronese temple. And I believed him. I still do.
“So, being the coward I am, I accepted. He bound the Entana in my mind from feeding on my thoughts, gave me Sunray to devour the Bok’Tarong’s enchantment, and ordered me not to fail.”
Saydee stared at him, her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. “How long ago was that?”
“About two hundred years.”
“How have you been able to avoid it for so long?”
“At first he didn’t care how long it took. The Keeper of Secrets had plans in motion that would take decades to come to fruition. Until they were ready, he didn’t need the sword destroyed. And since the Bok’Tarong doesn’t hurt the Entana, it wasn’t important I destroy it immediately. The sword is a nuisance to them. He’d come bother me from time to time in my dreams, asking if I was any closer, but I never received more than a lecture and a few mental whippings for my excuses.
“But now, all of his plans are ready, or close to it. I’ve been given a deadline. And now the Keeper of Secrets knows I had my opportunity and chose not to destroy the Bok’Tarong. It won’t be long before he comes after me, and when he finds me I’ll be dead. My time is almost up.”
He’d spoken the last words in a rush, but now he heard them. The truth was there, undeniable—he was out of time.
He stood and started packing up the camp, even though the sun had barely crested the horizon. “We have to move.”
Saydee stood, as if unsure whether it was the right thing to do. “Where are we going?”
Raeb turned to the west, the last direction he’d seen Dragana and Aeo going. No, it wouldn’t be smart to trail them. In her mood, Dragana would be more likely to lop his head off than listen to his explanations. He turned away.
“I’m not sure,” he said, shaking bits of snow and dirt from his blanket. “But we have to leave. We have to figure out what to do before something terrible happens.”
Saydee swallowed and nodded.
Raeb picked a southerly direction, wandering while his mind reeled. After two centuries, he was out of time, and he had no idea what he needed to do next. He hadn’t felt this lost in decades.
Raeb’s thoughts returned to the previous night. The helplessness he felt, at the mercy of the Keeper of Secrets … the pain and rage in Dragana’s eyes … feeling that terrible temptation to destroy the Bok’Tarong, and nearly succumbing to it …
It was too much.
He drew his sword, reveling in the long, straight blade. It was a relief to hold a weapon that was not Sunray. The weight of the blade was a comfort to him, and the air swishing past it soothed his nerves.
He was glad to be moving. Sitting still had been torturous. At least this way, he could walk and move and make it harder to think.
He picked up his pace, not knowing why. The faster he went, the sooner he’d have to figure out where he was going. But slowing down, stopping, would make everything worse. If he couldn’t fix his life, the least he could do was keeping moving.
Something crashed through the trees to his side, landing with a soft thud a few steps ahead.
Raeb spun, his heart racing, his sword held high. It hadn’t sounded like an animal, but there were plenty of things that could make noises in this forest. Bandits, though they were rare, more -taken soldi
ers …
A snowball crashed into him, soaking his chest with ice.
He raised his eyes just as Saydee threw another at him. He lifted his arms to block, but the snow pulverized on impact and showered him with frigid water.
“What are you thinking, Saydee?” he cried, wiping snow from his eyes.
Her laughter rang through the trees. Raeb told himself it was his imagination, or the rising sun, that made the forest seem brighter.
“You should see your face right now!” she said, lobbing another snowball his way. He batted it away with his sword, but the snow exploded over him nonetheless.
He sheathed his sword, in case he started feeling tempted to use it, and scooped up a small handful of snow from the base of a nearby tree. He threw it at her, a little harder than was probably called for. She dodged it, though the action caused her to lose her balance and her next shot missed.
Saydee laughed all the harder.
“This is ridiculous,” Raeb said, though even he heard the hint of laughter in his voice. He knelt and scooped up a handful of snow. When was the last time he’d simply played? Had he ever done so? After so many years alone, always running, then the stress of the last few days … he could feel the tension leaving his body. He could almost pretend there was nothing more urgent in his life than pelting Saydee with snow.
“This is ridiculous, but stomping away and brooding isn’t?”
“I’m not brooding.”
“Yeah. And you’re not having fun right now, either.”
He was prepared to deny it. He wasn’t having fun, he was defending himself from assault-by-snowball.
Despite himself, he chuckled.
“You take everything so seriously,” she said.
“And you smile and laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met, but I don’t understand how you do it.”
Saydee paused, her arm stopped mid-throw. Her smile darkened a few degrees. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been in your mind, Saydee. I’ve seen how hurt you are inside. I’ve heard you hint at how horrible your past has been. And yet, you can act like a carefree child as if you’ve never seen anything darker than a thunderstorm. How do you do it?”
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