Her arm dropped, and she let the snowball fall to the ground. “Life has a nasty way of making everything miserable if you don’t stop to enjoy it once in a while,” she said with a shrug. “I’m tired of being miserable, so I try not to make it any worse.”
“Sometimes there isn’t much to enjoy about life,” Raeb replied. His voice, and his spirit, had returned to their normal, somber state.
“Maybe you just aren’t looking for it hard enough.”
“Maybe it’s not worth looking for in the first place.”
The words came out harsher than he’d intended, but he figured that made them all the more true. Goodness knows he had enough experience to know it.
Saydee didn’t reply for a few moments. When she did, her voice was soft. All wisps of levity from their snowball fight had been drained away. “If you truly believe that, then you might as well be dead. Life isn’t all happiness, but it doesn’t have to be all sadness, either. There’s no point in living if you aren’t going to live to the fullest—through the pain as well as the joy.”
Raeb felt the history behind those words. He’d seen how battered her spirit was, so at odds with how frivolously she enjoyed life at times. She’d lived through enough to believe her view on life more than Raeb believed his own sentiments about it.
“What happened to you, Saydee?”
She didn’t lift her eyes to his. “What do you mean?”
“After the Mage’s Academy rejected you. When, and how, you were -taken. It’s obvious you’re speaking from experience, but I know nothing about you.”
Raeb was surprised how desperately he wanted to hear her story. Saydee was a lot deeper than he’d given her credit for. That night she’d followed him out of some no-name desert town, he’d thought she was just some spoiled girl with a special connection to the Entana. But now he understood she was so much more than that—and he wanted to know how much more.
Saydee, however, didn’t seem enthusiastic about sharing. Her pace slowed and her eyes wandered from tree to ground to tree, never landing anywhere near Raeb.
“Please, Raeb. Not now. I can’t … I’m not ready to face it yet.”
That reply surprised him. Saydee had always been open and never ran away from anything. The girl who had fed herself poison was afraid to face something in her past?
He didn’t know what to say. He’d known she had secrets, but to see the terror in her eyes at the memory of them …
Saydee cleared her throat, breaking the silence. As usual.
What was unusual was that she sounded scared and unsure of herself. “Raeb?”
“Hmm?”
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, glancing at the trees around him like they’d point him in the right direction. “I hadn’t gotten that far yet.”
“Then … I think we should go to Karim.”
He laughed out loud, though there was nothing funny about the idea. “Of all the places we could go, you suggest the capital of Arata? That’s the worst place on the continent to be if you’re -taken. They’d kill us in a heartbeat, even with your glamour and my disguise.”
“We could do it. It’s not like we’d be parading through the streets and drawing attention to ourselves.”
Raeb sighed. The girl really was too stubborn for her own good sometimes. “Why do you want to go to Karim?”
She clammed up. She fiddled with her fingers and stared at the ground, chewing on her lower lip. He’d never seen her look so nervous. At least, not in this world.
His attention sharpened. If Saydee insisted on going somewhere she was obviously so hesitant to go, she had to have a damn good reason.
“I want to go to the Mage’s Academy,” she said at last.
For a second he was sure he’d misheard her. He knew her lack of magical prowess was a sore spot in her past. The Academy wasn’t somewhere Saydee would go to relive happy memories. Why would she want to see that collection of dusty old bastards?
“The Mage’s Academy? That’s slightly less suicidal than marching straight into the Taronese temple.”
“Well, I don’t want to go,” she stammered, “but I think they might be able to help us. We need to strengthen the magic between me and the Entana to get to the hive. The -taken haven’t been able to help. Maybe we’ve been looking in the wrong place.”
“Saydee, you’re talking about asking mages about Entana magic. It’s unknown to them. Even if someone there had discovered the truth behind the Coming Madness, they wouldn’t know the first thing about your connection.”
She shrugged, trying to act casual, but Raeb wasn’t fooled. There was a huge amount of tension underneath the motion. “It’s worth a try.”
He glanced at her, trying to read her expression. “There’s something you aren’t telling me.”
It wasn’t a question, and she didn’t offer any answers.
“If I’m going to march into the capital and knock at the door of the Mage’s Academy, I’d better have at least an idea of what I’m there for.”
Saydee hesitated. He heard her indecision in her footsteps, but he didn’t push her. He just continued walking, keeping his own footsteps strong and sure.
After a few minutes, she took a deep breath and started talking. “A long time ago, there was a mage named Ashwinn. He spent years researching Entana possession in secret. He knew more about the Entana than anyone alive, maybe even to this day. If anyone had figured out something about how the connections between Entana and -taken work, it would be Ashwinn.”
“Then why is this the first time I’m hearing anything about this guy?”
“I thought your plan would work,” she said. “I didn’t want to bring it up if we had another option.”
Raeb opened his mouth to reprimand her—this information may have saved them from so many dangers they’d encountered thus far—but he shut it without a word. He had secrets he’d withheld in the hopes they’d never have to come to light. He could at least allow her the same.
“He lived a long time ago? How long ago are we talking?”
“Longer than you’ve been alive.”
“Great,” Raeb groaned. “Sounds like he’d be a great person to ask, except for the fact he’s dead.”
“The mages may not have condoned his research, but they’d never destroy knowledge like that. His papers must have survived. If we can get in and look through them, maybe they’d have an answer.”
She’d said “maybe”, but her tone said otherwise. Saydee was sure this long-dead Ashwinn would know what they had to do.
Raeb could see her face sour at the thought of the Mage’s Academy. There was a history there that repelled her like shadows from sunlight. She might believe this was the best place for them to go, but every fiber of her being despised the thought of returning. She looked like he was about to vomit.
“This past you don’t want to face … it involves the Mage’s Academy, doesn’t it?”
She nodded.
“You know, if we go, we’ll be there in a week, two at most.”
She gulped and nodded again.
“And you still don’t want to talk about it?”
“I will tell you, Raeb. I promise. Just … can’t it wait for a little longer?”
They walked for a while in silence. He wanted to know—not only for his own curiosity, but because there would be information there he might need. If they were walking into Saydee’s past, a past she refused to acknowledge but haunted her thoughts, it was very possible there would be real danger waiting for them. He couldn’t be prepared if he didn’t know what to expect. And given the hints he’d received about her past, it could be quite dangerous, indeed.
“Does this have anything to do with why the Entana in your mind believes it was invited in?”
Saydee stopped cold.
It had been a stab in the dark, but her reaction said enough. “Your history with the Mage’s Academy is more extensive than a simple petition and rejection,
isn’t it?”
She paused before replying. “Did you think I’d give up after one rejection? I thought you knew me better than that by now.”
Her attempt at humor was as hollow as her voice, but Raeb got her point. The woman who’d chased him down and insisted she accompany him wouldn’t have walked away after a simple ‘no’.
Raeb glanced at her, reminded of her youth. She looked small and scared. Whatever she was hiding, it must be horrible.
“All right,” he said. “But tromping into the Academy with these secret demons hanging over you won’t make it any easier. You know that, right?”
Her voice was little more than a squeak. “I know.”
24
Raeb hardly recognized Karim, but that wasn’t surprising. After a hundred years away, it was surprising he recognized it at all.
The last time he’d been here, the capital was a small fortified castle and keep on a hill just outside the forest. Only a handful of people called it home. Now, the city had engulfed the entire hill and a large network of fields around it. He couldn’t even guess how many thousands of people lived there.
“This is a bad idea,” he whispered.
Saydee didn’t offer any argument. She stood next to him, pale-faced, staring at the capital with wide eyes. Raeb noticed the tremor she tried to hide.
“We can still turn around,” he offered.
“Where else would we go?”
They both knew the answer to that. Their only hope of finding an answer lay within those gates. If they ever wanted to be free from the Entana, they had to go forward. Otherwise they were left with nothing.
Raeb had never been more reluctant to enter a city in his entire life.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt something brush his arm. It was just Saydee, scooting closer for comfort, but that didn’t relax him much. What was he supposed to do? What was she expecting of him?
He stood still, holding his breath for several heartbeats before stepping forward to break away from the contact. Better to just move on.
He and Saydee joined the throng of people waiting to enter the gates. Plenty of folks glanced at the pretty young girl, but no one paid any attention to the poor blind man on her arm.
The queue may have been long, but it moved quickly. Well before Raeb was prepared to enter into the capital, they were approaching the gates.
It took all his restraint not to gasp when he saw the guards—or rather, their Entana eyes.
“Raeb,” Saydee whispered.
“I know,” he replied. “Stay calm. We just have to get through the gate.”
The guards, bored and inattentive at first, instantly took a liking to Saydee. The taller of the two, with darker hair and skin like a Halkronian, pushed himself away from the wall and stood straight for the first time since Raeb had seen him. “Where’re you headin’, missy?”
“To the Mage’s Academy,” she replied, smiling and refusing to look into his eyes.
“Why would a pretty thing like you be goin’ up there?”
“We’re hoping they might be able to do something for my uncle. He took a hit on the head a few years back and hasn’t seen a thing since.”
The guard’s eyes shifted from Saydee to Raeb, like he was gauging just how much of an obstacle this blind man would be. Raeb did his best not to react.
“This is your uncle, huh?”
“Of course.”
The guard came a step closer, his eyes locked on Saydee. Raeb noticed they didn’t travel much above her neck.
Raeb stuck his hand out, as if enthused to shake hands with the guard. If his aim was a bit misplaced, and his fingers a little stiffened when they hit the man’s unarmored stomach, well … he couldn’t be blamed. He was blind, after all.
The guard deflated with an oomph and took a few steps back. He eyed Raeb, his initial flash of malice fading as he looked at Raeb’s impassive face.
“Right then,” he said, keeping his arms crossed over his torso. “Move along.”
Saydee guided Raeb through the gates.
“I could have handled him,” she whispered once they were lost in the crowd.
“You could have,” he agreed. “But that was much more fun.”
She smiled, but the mirth faded as she glanced back toward the gates. “He was -taken. They both were.”
“And they didn’t try to hide it,” Raeb added.
“Dragana told us about -taken soldiers,” Saydee said. “I guess they aren’t only on the frontlines anymore.”
Raeb nodded, but it didn’t make any sense. -Taken had been scorned in Karim for longer than he’d been alive. The citizens wouldn’t suffer a -taken to beg on their streets, let alone carry on a normal life. What had changed to allow -taken to guard their city, without discrimination?
“There’s no reason to have -taken soldiers here,” he said. “On the frontlines they were bred and used out of desperation. But here? There aren’t enemies to defeat or wars to be won on the streets of Karim.”
Saydee glanced at him, her glamour-enhanced eyes dark with suspicion. “At least, not ones we can see.”
He looked back at her, his mind reeling at the implications. Did she mean a political war, one fought in courts and castles, or an Entana war, fought in minds and the spiritual realm? Either way, they were far out of their depth and walking into deeper trouble than they could handle.
Dragana, why did you have to leave? We can’t do this alone.
He laughed at how desperately he wished she and Aeo were here. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d come to rely on someone so much. And why was the one he’d come to rely on Dragana, of all people? How did the stubborn, self-righteous bearer of the Bok’Tarong become so important to him?
Saydee led Raeb through cobbled streets, past street vendors hawking their wares, housewives bartering for supplies, and children running between carts with abandon. He was careful to keep his expression blank and face straight ahead, so he didn’t give himself away, but he longed to look around and ground himself in this strange city.
The press of bodies was almost too much for Raeb. He’d never seen so many people shoved into so small a space. They poured from every opening and rushed through the streets like a river, complete with eddies and currents and rare, deep pools of stillness. At times they even sounded like white-capped rapids, or like a stream bubbling over rocks. The flow of humanity pulled him and Saydee through the capital, and if they weren’t careful they’d be swept away.
He never would have admitted it, but he was grateful to have Saydee on his arm. She was much more accustomed to navigating these kinds of narrow, teeming streets. Raeb was already lost, but she was striding down the road and pushing people out of her way with strength but never cruelty. He didn’t know how she managed it.
Several times he spotted -taken, never alone but never more than three in a group, mingling amongst the people. A few wore uniforms, but Raeb could tell every one of them was a military man. They stood too erect, their eyes too sharp. Civilians parted before them and scurried away before those Entana eyes fell upon them.
He pulled Saydee to a stop before a small stand of sausages. They pretended to peruse, ignoring the eager merchant. Raeb felt exposed with his back to the -taken soldiers, but he hoped the press of humanity around them would offer at least a bit of protection.
“Have you seen them?” he whispered, quiet enough even the merchant rattling off prices and qualities couldn’t hear him.
She nodded, as if approving of a sausage that smelled of garlic and onion.
“If any of them discover us, we’ll be dead before we could begin to defend ourselves.”
“Can’t we blend in with them? If those -taken are tolerated …”
“No. They’ll know we aren’t one of them. And if Dragana was right about these willing -taken, they’re taking orders from the Entana. They’ll know what we’re up to by now, thanks to the Keeper of Secrets. We’ll be executed as traitors.”
&n
bsp; Saydee kept her expression blank, but Raeb saw the fear tighten her jaw. She handed a few small coins to the merchant, pocketing two sausages in return.
As soon as the transaction was complete, they were swept back into the current. Saydee guided them through for a bit, then ducked into an alley and away from the crowd.
“What’s going on?” she asked, finally allowing her panic to surface. “Why are there -taken everywhere, and why aren’t they afraid to show what they are?”
“I don’t know. Dragana mentioned the army accepting -taken, even creating them, but I have no idea what they’re doing in the city.”
“What do we do?”
Raeb looked into her eyes, clear green and human thanks to her glamour. “This doesn’t change anything. We still have to get into the Mage’s Academy unseen.” He looked back into the street as two -taken wandered past. “We just have to make sure none of them notice us.”
She looked down, biting her lip like she was wrestling with an important decision. At last she nodded, her face set with determination. “All right then. Come here.”
Before Raeb could ask why, she placed her hands on either side of his face. Her palms were warm and clammy, and her fingers shook. She held his head steady, staring at him as if trying to bore holes through his skull with her eyes.
He felt the intensity of that gaze like a physical pressure against his body. His skin tingled and itched. For a moment, he was afraid she might drill actual holes into his brain.
Then Saydee’s cool, silky magic slid over and around him like an embrace.
She slumped against the wall, panting, but the glamour she’d placed over Raeb held steady. He could feel it like a swimmer felt water on their skin—cool and pleasant, but soon taken for granted and overlooked.
He was impressed. It took a lot more power than Saydee had hinted she had to place a glamour on someone else. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
Her voice shook, and she hardly seemed to have to strength to speak. “Neither did I.”
Soul of the Blade Page 21