Star Wars - New Jedi Order - Force Heretic II - Refugee - Book 18

by Sean Williams

  "Might be simpler if we don't make it." After their first kiss, when there was no going back to the way they'd been before. "Yeah. Are you sorry? " "No. No, not even a little bit." "So let's survive so we get a chance to figure this out, okay?"

  Sobs tore through her like knives. She was so lonely; she was so alone. Anakin's family could have been hers, but now instead they were frightened of her. They were suspicious of her and tried to push her away. Everyone was pushing her away. Everyone except "Tahiri?"

  The voice came from outside her head, beyond her memories. The use of her name was so unexpected that she was on her feet in an instant, her lightsaber crackling, rising defensively before she'd even seen who had said it. Then, when she did look, she couldn't see him properly because of the film of tears over her eyes.

  "No, wait!" Whoever it was, he backed nervously away, arms outstretched in a desperate request for her to lower her weapon.

  "You come anywhere near me," she hissed, "and so help me I'll"

  "I won't, I promise." She didn't recognize the voice. "I

  just heard that you were lost. That's all. I came to help you."

  "Help me?" she repeated suspiciously, the lightsaber unsteady in her hands. "Why should you help me? You don't even know me!"

  "Sure I do," he said. "You're the Jedi-who-was-shaped. You're"

  She felt the blood drain from her face. "Don't ever call me that!"

  He backed away another step as the tip of her lightsaber stabbed toward him. "I'm sorry!" he said. "I didn't realize you found it offensive."

  "Well, I do," she said, pouring all of her anger into the words. "It reminds me of things I'd sooner forget."

  "I can understand that. You are like us in many respects."

  Anger flared again. He was trying to manipulate her. "Who are you?"

  "I'm a friend. We met back at the spaceport, remember?"

  "The Ryn?" She blinked back the moisture covering her eyes and looked more closely at the being before her. He was gray-skinned and had a beak for a nose. A prehensile tail lashed the air behind him. There was a smell about him, too a smell that was inherent to his species.

  "It is you," she said with some surprise, sensing his familiarity even though she'd never seen his face before.

  He nodded. "The name is Goure," he said, trying to force a smile but clearly finding it difficult with her lightsaber still raised toward him. " Look, could we put that away for now? I think we might attract unwanted attention."

  With some embarrassment, Tahiri realized that they were standing in a public access way. At the other end of the corridor, people were starting to gather, staring curiously at the Jedi and the Ryn. She quickly deactivated her lightsaber and reattached it to her belt.

  "I'm sorry," she said, appalled by her foolishness. "I'm not thinking straight at the moment."

  Goure shrugged good-naturedly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of," he said sotto voce. "Come, follow me and I'll take us to a place where we won't have an audience. But try not to make it seem as though you are following me, okay? I'm a servant; you must order me to lead."

  She nodded slowly. "I was lost, and you are taking me home."

  "Exactly." He rearranged his body under the simple gray robes he wore so he was hunched forward, as though with age. "This way."

  She followed him with head held high and her expression devoid of any of the emotions she'd felt just moments earlier. She pushed through the crowd at the end of the corridor, her cold stare daring anyone to obstruct her. It took all her control of the Force to placate the more curious, and the irony wasn't lost on her that she couldn't apply the same trick to herself. Behind the facade, her mind was still very much in turmoil.

  Goure led her through the corridors and malls of Salis D'aar, past floating statues and elegant fountains. Plant life encroached heavily on the city, thriving in the thick air and fertile soils. Tree trunks snaked through carefully arranged holes in the pavement and walls, their vine-covered coils diverting the eye from security checkpoints, public comm stations, and information outlets. In some places, Salis D'aar seemed so heavily overgrown that it looked like the jungle was taking over, but ferrocrete was strong and resisted the tide of root and tendril with stubborn defiance. The city would last awhile yet; it was civilization's strongest bastion in its battle against nature.

  "Here," Goure said, waving her ahead into a narrow corridor between two ornamental statues. She did as he told her without hesitation or question; he projected no sense of threat or danger. After looking up and down the corridor behind them, he followed. When inside, he flicked a switch; a small holoprojector flickered to life, covering the entrance with the illusion of solid wall.

  "It won't actually keep anyone out," Goure said, walking ahead of her along the corridor, "but it'll at least stop them from stumbling in on us."

  "Is security looking for me?" she asked.

  "Oh, no. This is nothing to do with you." His tail coiled and uncoiled restlessly. "We just prefer not to leave too many odd connections in our wake, that's all."

  The room at the end of the corridor was empty apart from two simple chairs and a low box. Bare stone walls and a single, naked light source leant it a forbidding air, but Tahiri didn't feel threatened by the Ryn at her back. He radiated nothing but surety and reliability.

  "Take a seat." He fished around in the box and produced two scuffed metal cups and a bottle of water. Tahiri eased herself into the chair closest to the entrance, thankful to be resting her feet. She felt drained right to the very core of her being, as though she had been running for days.

  He offered her a cup of the water, which she gratefully accepted. It felt good and refreshing in her mouth, and she closed her eyes in appreciation as she sipped it.

  "What happened to your arms?" Goure indicated the scars showing beneath her thin tunic.

  "Nothing," she answered uneasily, folding her arms in a way that hid the self-inflicted wounds from back on Mon Cal. There was nothing she could do to hide the marks on her forehead. "What time is it?" she asked to change the subject.

  "A couple of hours before dawn."

  That surprised heralthough it did explain her exhaustion. She didn't want to ask the next question, but she had to in order to ease her mind. "What have I been doing?"

  Goure looked sympathetic. "You haven't hurt anyone, if that's what you're worried about."

  "You said you'd heard that I was lost." A useful euphemism, she thought. "How ?"

  "I have many means of learning what's going on," he said. "I'm a Ryn. We're ignored at best. We work on the lowest rungs of society, doing the jobs no one else wants to do. That allows me to get into places and gives me access to information most people wouldn't even know existed. I listen to gossip, scan the security frequencies, go through the trash" She inadvertently pulled a face, which made him smile. "Yeah, I know. It's not the most glamorous of jobs at times, but I get results. Anyway, your name came up in a security report. They were watching you carefully, unsure what you were up to. I thought it might be best to get to you before they decided to bring you in." He shrugged. "It wasn't difficult to work out where you were and where you might be headed."

  She hated to think what she might have done had the security guards closed in on her at any point during her strange fugue state. The feelings of anger and hurt had been so overwhelming; she may well have used those guards as a means to vent her emotions.

  Still, Goure had said that she hadn't hurt anyone. That was something to be grateful for, at least.

  "What about Han and Leia?" she asked. "Do they know?"

  "They have other things to worry about, I'm afraid." The Ryn's expression turned serious. "A warrant for Jaina's arrest was released shortly after midnight."

  "What? Why?"

  "Security droids caught images of her helping Malinza Thanas escape from where she was being held. She's been charged with aiding and abetting, along with seditionor

  she will be, when they find her. She's listed as bei
ng armed and dangerous. Guards are to use force if necessary."

  The news shocked Tahiri out of concern for herself. Jaina on the run? Her first thought was to help. The tug of the family she'd nearly had was strong, but not as strong as the sudden sense of warning that rushed through her.

  I called you Riina.

  It came back to her in a rush Leia's face in the gloom of the bedroom, the silver pendant

  Jaina told me what Jag found.

  She reached into the pocket of her robe and felt the pendant, its bumps and edges worn by Yuuzhan Vong claws. The Peace Brigade had left it on Galantos, probably by accident. It had fallen under a bed in the diplomatic wing, where the Brigaders had been staying. Something about the pendant had called to her, triggering her instincts They told her that something was up; there was more to Galantos than met the eye. Searching, she'd been drawn to the pendant's dusty hiding place and

  She's hiding somethingfrom herself as well as everyone else . . .

  Then she had blacked out. When she had woken, the pendant had gone. Jag must have found it and passed it on to Jaina, who had aired her suspicions to her mother. All the while, the pendant had nagged at Tahiri like an unscratchable itch, preoccupying her mind, calling out to her...

  No. Not her. It was calling out to Riina of Domain Kwaadthe monster the Yuuzhan Vong had tried to turn her into!

  Somehow, the Riina personality is still inside you.

  A deep darkness rose up in her mind, threatening to consume herjust as it had so many times before. She fought it now as she had then, fighting down the persona that kept trying to take her over.

  I am not Riina! I am Tahiri Veila! Despite her determination, her mental voice sounded feeble. I am a Jedi!

  The darkness receded and she sagged back into the chair with a sob. What was she going to do? If the slightest hint of Yuuzhan Vong was going to destabilize her so deeply, how could she possibly hope to be of use in the war against the enemy? And what if Riina took over completely? What then would become of her and the people around her?

  "Tahiri?"

  Despite the softness of the voice, it cut sharply into her thoughts, startling her. So relieved was she to hear her own name that she suddenly burst into tears.

  "Hey, I'm sorry, Tahiri. Are you okay?"

  Lost in her thoughts, she had forgotten all about Goure, the Ryn. He was crouched down before her now, his powerful scent filling her nostrils, thrusting deep into the old places of her mind, forcing itself into the spaces buried beneath her thoughts. It seemed to sweep out the cobwebs as it went, working its way through the tangled corridors of her mind like a powerful cleansing wind.

  Jaina couldn't be blamed for the position Tahiri was in. Nor could Jag, or Anakin's parents. There was only one person responsible, and that was herself. She had to be the one to prove to everyone that she could be trusted, that she was the one in control and not Riina.

  "Don't be sorry," she said to the anxious Ryn. She wiped the tears from her face and quashed down the darkness still threatening to rise to the surface. The pendant was in her hand, and she pushed it back into the inner pocket of her robes where she didn't have to look at it. "Just help me rescue my friend."

  "That I will," the Ryn said, his tail snapping like a whip. "The first thing we have to do, though, is find out if they've caught her. The warrant only mentioned Jaina, so Han and Leia might be in the clear for now. But I can't be certain. We'll need to be closer to things in order to keep an eye on them."

  "I'll do whatever it takes," she said determinedly. "I just want to put things right."

  "And the best way to do that is with my help, if you're willing to stick with me awhile longer."

  She met his gaze with all the strength she could muster. Part of her wanted to go straight back to Han and Leia, to try to repair the damage, but another part of her was nervous of doing that just yet. Not until she was certain of where she stood. And besides, she told herself, if she could find more about what the Ryn were up to, that would stand her in good stead when she did go back. It was important who was helping them, and why.

  Goure nodded as though in approval.

  "Very well, Tahiri Veila." He rose to his feet. "The first thing 1 need you to do is to wait here. You can't go wandering around looking like that."

  She looked down at her robe and frowned. "Like what?"

  "Like you. Even if they weren't already watching you, they certainly wouldn't let you walk freely into where we need to go. The trick to being like us, you see, is to make sure you're not noticed."

  "I need a disguise, right?"

  He nodded, smiling. "I won't be long, I promise."

  "How long?" she asked quickly, standing. The emptiness of the room was already crowding in around her. There would be nothing to do while he was gone, no distractions from her thoughts. The idea of being on her own in an unfamiliar city put her even more on edge. What if the security guards came for her? What if Goure didn't come back?

  "Try not to be scared, Tahiri. You'll be all right."

  She could tell from the hesitant movements of his

  hands that he would like to reach out and reassure her physically, but was reluctant to do so. Probably, she figured, because he was worried she might have another panic episode and threaten him with her lightsaber again.

  "I-I'm just worried about being alone, that's all." She looked down, embarrassed by the admission. It was a weakness, and did not become the Jedi Knight she was supposed to be. "I feel very lost right now."

  "We have a saying," Goure said. " 'In the darkest hole you can always find some light. You just have to open your eyes to see it.' "

  "We also have a saying," she responded. " ' The darker the shadow, the brighter the light that casts it.' ''

  "Very wise," he said, nodding. "But tell me, Tahiri Veila when you say 'we,' do you mean the Jedi or the Sand People?"

  She smiled at the memory of the first time Sliven said those words to her. "The Sand People," she said. "And what about you Ryn or Bakuran?"

  "Ryn." His beak twitched for a moment, then broke into an unusual smile, as though he'd been amused by some profound joke. His hand reached out carefully to touch her shoulder. "I won't be long, Tahiri."

  She nodded briefly and then he was gone, hurrying up the short corridor and disappearing through the holographic illusion hanging across the entrance. The city murmured through the stone walls, distantly, impersonally. It didn't care about herwho she was, what she wanted, or whether her friends lived or died. Its coldness was, oddly, a remedy for her dour mood, reminding her that in the larger scheme of things, perhaps, it simply didn't matter who she was.

  But it did matter. If she gave in to Riina and Anakin's vision became fact, who would stand up against the Yuu-zhan Vong then? Life in the galaxy would vanish under a creeping tide of darkness that no dawn could ever hope to dispel.

  She shook her head to clear her mind of the thought and sat cross-legged on the stone floor to wait for Goure's return. With a grim determination, she fell into a Jedi rejuvenation trance. It had been a long time since she'd last slept, and she was going to need her resilience. Her body must be strong, she told herself, her senses sharp; her concentration was a crystal spear, cutting through the layers of deception to the truth beneath .. .

  A worm of doubt burrowed into the trance, however, as something unsettling occurred to her. No matter where she went, she could never again be the same. There would always be Riina at the back of her mind, trying to come forward. There would always be that question niggling at her thoughts Who am I, really? How could she live a life like that, let alone get through one more day?

  I am Tahiri Veila, she told herself again, Jedi Knight and child of the Sand People. I will prevail!

  Or I'll die trying. ..

  The audience was not going well.

  "Yu'shaa, your word spreads farther with every day, yet still we are reviled. We are beaten and killed as we have always been. How long until we will be free to be as we were
?"

  Nom Anor replied "We will only be free when the un-Shamed accept us as their equals, as we are in the eyes of the gods. Our Messagethe philosophy of the Jeedai will persuade them if we spread it far enough. If it doesn't convince them we then will make them accept it, and us with it. Only then will we achieve our goal." He paused significantly. "It is a hard road, I knowbut it is one that must be walked."

  "But if we do Yun-Yuuzhan's work, then his will must become clear to the enemy, too. Surely they would come to see the truths the Jeedai bring?"

  "You can show a blind person something a thousand times and he will never see it; you can speak a message to a deaf person until the universe turns cold and she will never hear it. So, too, it is with our enemies. Only those who are open to the truth will accept the truth that the Jeedai bring. Moreover, those who do not, those who continue to espouse a perverted philosophy of pain and pointless sacrifice, these are the ones who must in turn be sacrificed. Redemption can only be achieved by those with the capacity to be redeemed."

  The questioning acolyte nodded slowly, unsurely, as though Nom Anor's answer only partially satisfied her. Nom Anor studied the Shamed One closely, seeking anything that made her stand out from the rest of the congregation. The usual procession of the disabled and the sick was increasingly diluted by numbers of the hale and the higher-ranked, all dissatisfied with the status quo on the surface. But despite the mass of scars and failed bio-implants that marked this particular member of the congregation as a Shamed One, Nom Anor couldn't help but feel there was something that set her apart from the others. Dressed in unadorned robes, she was slender without being skinny. Her eyes were filled with the furious intelligence of one consumed with doubt. She lacked the bent, cowed frame possessed by so many of the usual penitents.

  "But, Master," the acolyte went on, "what if one of the enemy was to question the ways he'd been taught? A lifetime of lies is difficult to fightespecially if the truth is hidden from him. The enemy you revile hears only that which he is told, filtered through many ears and mouths along the way. The message is distorted, clouded by those who are indeed your enemy, who will ascribe to you all manner of heresy simply in order to damn you. What of the one who wishes to hear the truth, but cannot obtain it? Is ignorance an excuse in Yun-Yuuzhan's eyes?"