Caspers Ghosts

by Victoria Hyder

  “We’re almost there!” I stated loudly as I forced my tired legs along, tugging my suitcase behind me. Casper merely hummed low in his throat. At last, I caught sight of my black front door. The brick drive had been swept and jet-cleaned and the small lawn and flowerbeds had been clipped and mown. Casper flicked at my cheek to get my attention. I jolted before turning to look at him. “We’re here.”

  He didn’t reply. Instead he lifted his eyes away from mine to survey the house he’d be staying in for the next two weeks. Did it daunt him? Did he want to have his own room whilst staying with me? Despite the possibility I hoped my room would suffice for the both of us. “Come on,” he finally muttered, “Let’s get this over with.”

  I frowned but said nothing as we made our way to the sheltered front door step. I reached for the knocker and rapped it three times. My fingers drummed a tune on my case and my heart was thumping heavily in my chest. It was suddenly extremely hot and getting a little awkward to breathe normally.

  Behind the stained glass window I saw movement. I was sure I could almost feel the ground move with the footfalls that grew louder on the other side. The Yale lock drew back and the door swung inwards. My breath hitched as my dad stood there, a surprised yet pleased smile breaking out across his face as he recognised me.

  “Avery!” he beamed as he leaned forward and hugged me, his large hand thumping my back. “I thought you two would be arriving earlier.”

  I gave a stiff smile as I leaned out of his hug, “Well I didn’t realise how awkward two cases were going to be on the buses, so we got a taxi.” A sharp jab in the small of my back made me whip around to look at Casper. He was practically glowering at me. My cheeks tinged pink, “Oh er … Dad this is Casper, Casper this is my Dad, Paul Fletcher.”

  “Casper? Unusual name. Nice to meet you,” he held out his hand to shake. The air froze. I felt Casper stiffen beside me.

  Out of the corner of my eye I watched him nod and clear his throat awkwardly, “It’s uh … Nice to meet you too.”

  My dad’s hand fell awkwardly, slowly. He grinned and stepped to one side, “Well let’s not keep everyone waiting. Get inside and show Casper to your room and set your suitcases down. Dinner’s cooking so come down when you’re ready.”

  I frowned as I stepped over the threshold, “Is mum okay with Casper staying in my room?” I asked quietly, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.

  Dad tilted his head to the side and shrugged a shoulder, “I told her it was non-negotiable. I even put a bunch of stuff in the spare room so she couldn’t say ‘no’ too much.”

  My stomach knotted tightly. I felt Casper’s eyes burn at the back of my neck. My dad had always been the most supportive of my parents. He had reasoned many a time that I should be allowed to have friends stay over. There had been one argument where I’d heard him shout through the floor that ‘HE’S NOT ABOUT TO TURN ALL HIS FRIENDS GAY, MILDRED!’

  I shook the memories away, my skin crawling through my light hoodie. “Great well … We’d best get these cases upstairs,” I gestured at our heavy suitcases propped up against the front door.

  “Okay. Casper are you allergic to anything?” he asked, looking over my shoulder.

  “Not that I know of, sir,” Casper replied.

  My dad smiled before turning and disappearing into the conjoined kitchen-come-dining room. I turned to Casper and gestured to the stairs, “Come on let’s head up. My room is the last one on the left.”

  He turned and led the way up the stairs. The plush carpet was soft underfoot as we dropped our cases on the landing. It suddenly felt so surreal being back at home; everything that had once been so familiar was now so alien to me. Even the smells that lingered everywhere that had once made me feel at home, now felt cloying and clung to the back of my throat. It was like a perfect picture and I was the little black squiggle in the corner that didn’t belong. Even my own bedroom door, now stripped bare from the posters I’d once had blue-tacked on it, glared at me.

  Swallowing thickly, I reached out and pushed the door open to my room. It wasn’t how I’d left it. Everything had been cleaned and changed. Even the air smelled fresher than it should have. Casper bustled in behind me and glanced around before raising his eyebrows, “So this is your room?” he asked dryly as he wheeled his suitcase over to rest in front of the wardrobe.

  I nodded, “Yep, mind you it’s a lot cleaner than it usually is.”

  Casper shrugged and turned to me, arms folded across his chest, “Your dad seems nice.”

  “My dad seems like he’s trying to make up for lost time,” I replied, my tone tight and exhausted. I was both hungry and feeling sick at the same time. “Do you want to unpack your stuff now or wait until after dinner?”

  “Depends on how exerting dinner is.”

  He edged over to where I’d dropped down on my bed. It was a fairly wide single bed and would feel strange and awkward now that I was away from a larger one. He settled down beside me, the mattress dipping with his weight. “Well this is going to be a tight squeeze isn’t it?” My mouth twitched in a brief smile. My good mood had evaporated as soon as I’d crossed the threshold downstairs and now he was trying to cheer me up, “Where exactly am I going to sleep?”

  “Not sure,” I murmured, glancing at the large empty space of my room, “I guess we’ll have a ready-made bed set up or something.”

  He hummed before reaching over and wrapping his fingers around my wrist. The action made my stomach flip. I felt his breath against my ear and my jeans got a little tighter as one of his teeth nipped my earlobe. My eyelids fluttered closed and I leaned back a little, the weight of his hand moving from my wrist to rest on my thigh. I rocked my hips a little, hoping he’d move his fingers over my hardening cock, but he pulled away at the last moment with a smirk. Flushed and a little embarrassed I glared at him. “What was that for?” I hissed.

  “I wanted to see you looking less ‘self-pity’ and more ‘optimistically sarcastic’,” he grinned.

  “So how do I look now?”

  “Like you’re about to get lucky,” he winked before hopping off the bed and shrugging out of his leather jacket.

  He draped it on the back of my desk chair in the corner before raking a hand through his hair. I watched him as he moved about, the silver and pink scars on his arms gleaming over at me. My persistent dick calmed down a little as sobriety cleared my mind. I was about to ask him about his own experiences, if he would ever be willing to touch me the way I wanted him to, when my dad called up for us.

  “DINNER’S READY! GET IT WHILE IT’S HOT!”

  “We’d better head down if we want the hot food,” I stated, theatrically waving my hands. Casper didn’t say much as he headed for the door. “Wait!” he turned to me and cocked an eyebrow as I hurried over to my suitcase and dug around in the small pocket. “I have something for you,” I gave a small smile as I untangled a couple of leather cuffs and braided bracelets.

  “Jewellery?” he asked in amusement.

  Rolling my eyes I gestured for him to give me his arms, “Not jewellery, you pedantic git. I figured if you want to freak my parents out with your very sudden goth-ness, then you might as well have some extra flare, right?”

  He narrowed his eyes a fraction before whispering, “You don’t want them to see my scars, do you?”

  “I just don’t want you to get bombarded with all these questions,” I shifted awkwardly, the bracelets knotting between my hands, “We’re going to get a lot of that shit anyway.” I let my hands drop down, “It’s okay if you don’t want to I just … thought it’d be easier.”

  He watched me for a moment longer before reaching out and taking the cuffs from my hands. I watched him as he clipped them around his wrists and decorated the rest of his arms with the leather braids and knotted bracelets. My mouth ran dry as I glimpsed the naked white skin between the black leather. Matched with the tie-dyed shirt and his glossy black hair, he looked so sexy. The only thing I could think of looking se
xier was him without his shirt on and those leather bands … Or perhaps even in just his underwear …With bedhead and kiss-swollen lips … Moaning my name …

  “Fletcher? Come on. Dinner, remember?”

  Fuck. I needed to watch that. I grinned lazily at him, his black fingernails clicking in front of my eyes and an impatient expression on his face. “Right,” I nodded as I combed my fingers through my hair, still unused to the drastically short length. “Let’s go eat.”

  *

  Katie wasn’t at the dinner table when Casper and I went down. It was a picture perfect family setting; tablecloth on the polished wood table, the napkins were all folded with polished silverware on it as though we were expecting the Queen to come knocking at any moment. I shook my head as I dropped down into the chair opposite where my dad was already seated. I could feel him eyeing my haircut as I waited for mum to come in with the food. Casper stayed silent. He felt awkward next to me and I didn’t blame him. My mum probably wanted to make a big entrance, all smiles and big teeth and false politeness, and force Casper into conversations he’d rather break plates than talk about. Finally the silence got too much and I had to break it. “Dad, where’s Katie?”

  His shoulder’s stiffened a little, no doubt my episode from Christmas flashing through his head, “She’s just upstairs. She’ll be down in a minute.”

  “How has everything been?” I asked.

  “It’s been good,” he nodded a little too enthusiastically, “Yeah, Katie’s been getting good grades, and she got a haircut. Much like you did.”

  “Oh yeah,” I reached up to tug at my own hair, “It was getting too scruffy.”

  He smiled a little, “Well whoever did it did a great job. It really suits you. It frames your face well.”

  “Thanks, Casper did it for me the other night.”

  My dad’s hazel eyes –a shade darker than my own –flickered over to Casper, “Oh? So is it hairdressing you want to go into?” he asked politely.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Casper shake his head. “No, sir, I want to go into Graphic Design.”

  “Oh right,” his eyes lit up as he took a sip of his beer, “Have you thought about joining any companies after you graduate?”

  “I actually haven’t thought that far ahead,” came the stiff reply. “I don’t really know where to start looking.”

  “Well there are plenty of places you could intern. There are lots of things you could do in London alone. Or you could always start off small and try going for something yourself, but I will tell you that without start-up money and someone to help you through the first year or two at least, it’s going to be difficult setting up alone.”

  Casper nodded, his interest clearly piqued. I shrank back a little, trying not to smile too wide. “I know. I had originally wanted to start up by myself but like you said, start-up money is the biggest issue there. It would all depend on how I promote myself as well.”

  “What sort of graphic design are you interested in?”

  Casper hummed softly, his cheeks flushing a little, “I wouldn’t mind working on animated movies, or even making my own. Company logos, web design, pretty much all of it really.”

  “Dinner’s served!” my mum’s crisp voice trilled out through the air. I stiffened and the conversation died away instantly as she present us with a tray of roast potatoes, glistening chicken legs, a large bowl of salad and Yorkshire puddings. I eyed the bowl of mixed veg in front of me and suppressed a heave. “Alright everyone help yourselves. So what were we talking about?” she asked as she tucked herself in at the head of the table. Glancing down the other end she frowned, “Paul, where’s Katelyn?”

  “She said she’d be right down,” my dad replied as he scooped up some potatoes onto his plate.

  Without missing a beat my mum shouted out, “KATELYN GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!”

  “I SAID OKAY!” came the tetchy response.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood up on end as I heard a door slam and the deliberately heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

  Swallowing thickly I turned in my chair as Katie came into view. She’d been tapping away on her iPhone when she suddenly stopped in the doorway upon seeing me. I was prepared for stiffness, I was prepared for cold indifference but I was not prepared for what happened next.

  “AVERY?” she squealed, hurrying over and wrapping her arms around my neck over the back of my chair. “I didn’t hear you come in!” she pressed a warm kiss to my cheek. I was stunned into silence as I gave her arms a squeeze. She straightened up and her eyes landed on Casper. “And whose this?” she poked my shoulder, “Your boyfriend?” she teased with a wink.

  The silence that fell over the room was chilling.

  I suddenly had no appetite for the meagre meal I’d dished up for myself. “No,” I choked out at the same time that Casper dropped his gaze and turned away from my sister. “We’re –not together,” I assured as I let my eyes drift over to my mum. She’d paused mid-scoop, the spoonful of veg quaking gently in her clenched fingers.

  “Nice to meet you, I’m Katie!” My sister beamed holding her hand out to grab Casper’s.

  I snatched her hand away in mid-air, “Er … None of that, Katie.” She frowned and I just shook my head with a smile, “Just … none of that.”

  “Oops!” she winked, “Hands off your man, eh?” she ruffled my hair affectionately.

  Mums lips were pursed tightly as she cleared her throat. “Don’t be silly, Katelyn. Your brother knows better than that.”

  “Maybe in your head,” was the murmured response by my ear as Katie went around my chair and sat down at the end of the table. Her hair was shorter now, cut into a long bob around her jaw and she’d grown her fringe out. She was dressed fairly casually in a lacy top and blue jeans, her pink striped socks pocking out from under the hem. She looked a little more grown-up but still had her soft, rounded edges from childhood.

  We continued to eat in silence until my mum, with all the grace of a rock tumbling down a mountainside, turned to Casper. “So, Casper is it?” she frowned a little as she toyed with a chicken leg.

  Casper stiffened. “Yes.”

  “How long have you known Avery? I haven’t heard him talk about you … ever.” She gave a false little smile that made me want to slap her. Instead I turned to my dad and give him my best ‘are you kidding me?’ look. He gave me a helpless one in response.

  To his credit, Casper didn’t bristle like I had. “Oh not very long. I didn’t realise he lived down the hall from me until about three months ago and, tell you the truth, he kept me up all night with his moaning but you know, he’s calmed down a lot since we’ve been friends. Right, Fletcher?” he turned to me and smirked, nudging my thigh under the table.

  My jaw dropped and Katie snickered at my mum’s appalled expression. He’d gone and done it now. I swallowed thickly and nodded, “Well it’s not like you need your sleep, being a suffering artist and all.”

  My mum looked from Casper to me then back again, “So what are you studying Casper?”

  “I’m studying Graphic Design and Music Industry.”

  “Isn’t that a rather frivolous take on something you can do in your spare time?”

  Casper bristled a little. “Not really. I like music, I like designing short films and composing my own pieces. If done correctly I could earn a lot more than your average accountant.”

  That answer had my mum stumped. I don’t know what she’d been expecting in Casper, but clearly she wasn’t expecting a smart-mouthed little git. It did cheer me up a little, seeing her speechless. Clearing his throat, Casper pushed himself out from the table.

  “Where is the kitchen?” he asked frowning a little as he leaned on the back of his chair, flashing the black leather bracelets and cuffs.

  “Just through there.” My dad pointed with beer bottle around the corner.

  Casper nodded and grabbed our glasses. I fought the urge to follow him into the kitchen and ask if he was okay. He
disappeared from the room at which time I turned to my mum. “Just lay off for one night will you?” I hissed.

  “If I catch you doing anything inappropriate in this house, you are leaving, understand?” she snapped.

  We glared at one another over the steaming food, which was only broken by Casper returning carrying two tall glasses of water. He placed mine in front of me and out of his fingers dropped a small white tablet. I blanched at it but the look he gave me forced me not to start an argument. As discreetly as possible I downed the pill with a gulp of water and then started eating to get the chalky taste out of my mouth. Under the table, Casper gave my thigh a little squeeze.

  By the time dessert was served –because my mum was going along with the ‘happy family’ pretence despite it being shattered within the first ten minutes –I felt a little light-headed and food was starting to taste like cardboard. I didn’t really want the ice cream that was pushed in front of me. However, the way Casper had turned his head away from my mum and slowly lick the chocolate sauce from the end of his spoon, made me start eating to try and cool my libido down. Katie had gone quiet again, playing with her phone under the table. I was done for the evening.

  “I think it’s time we head to bed,” Casper’s voice rang out through the fog brimming inside my head. Somewhere during dinner, he and my dad had gotten along pretty well over the table and had made the atmosphere a little less awkward. I couldn’t place when it had happened but within the few hours we were sat there, Casper’s stoic shell had cracked, just enough to make him talk with a little more confidence that came with acceptance and not just to piss off my mum. “We’ve had a long day of travelling and Fletcher here looks exhausted.”