Rewriting History

by Missy Johnson

  The loud banging on the door startles me.

  Mel waves her arm. “I’ll get it. It’s probably just Jules anyway.”

  I nod, and she disappears out of the room. I glance at my phone to see if she’s texted me anymore. I couldn’t tell her not to come because Mel was here, and I hope she doesn’t think I’m angry with her. I’m not; I just don’t know how to deal with the pain I’m feeling.

  I look up as Mel walks back into the living room. My eyes widen when I see Jill trailing behind her. Fuck. I jump up, madly tying to scrape together an excuse as to why she would be here at this time of night.

  “Eli.” Mel shakes her head. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m guessing this is the girl you were talking to me about?”

  Jill raises her eyebrows and I flush.

  “Mel, this is Jill.” I swallow. “My girlfriend.”

  “Nice to meet you, Jill.” I have to hand it to Mel: she’s been completely non-judgmental about all of this. She turns to me and kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  I nod. I have a feeling I’m going to be hearing more about this then.

  Jill and I lay on the sofa, her in my arms, just enjoying each other’s company. I may still be slightly inebriated, but the buzz from the scotch is beginning to wear off. Jill laughs after my tenth groan.

  “How much did you have to drink?” she teases as I kiss her neck.

  “Too much. Today was hard. Sitting around with my family is never a fun thing,” I joke.

  “Mel seems nice,” she offers.

  “Mel is probably the only person in my family—apart from Mom—who I do genuinely get along with.” I shrug. “I’m not sure why. I don’t think Leisel and Jules ever understood the complexity of my relationship with Dad, but Mel was just young enough to see glimpses of the man I grew up with.”

  “Do you wish you’d sorted things out with him before . . .” Her voice trails off and I nod.

  “I do. I don’t think our relationship would ever have been normal, but I do regret not resolving things with him before he died.” I glance at her, brushing her hair away from her eyes as she smiles at me. “How are things with your mom?”

  She bites her lip, her nose scrunching up.

  I laugh. “That good, huh?”

  “I’m trying. I really am.” She sighs. “I don’t know. I’ll forgive her. I love her, and I know she regrets what she did, but I think I just need time to be able to fully move on. Is that selfish of me?”

  I shake my head. “Not in the least.”

  She smiles and rests her head on my chest as I run my fingers over the arch of her back.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jill

  The next morning, I get up early and go for a run. I need to clear my head and think about things. I know Eli is right: I need to find a way to move on and forgive her.

  As I walk into the house, I hear Dad’s booming laugh. Both he and Mom are sitting out back in the sun. Dad says something to Mom before laughing again. My heart twinges. This is how I always remembered them before. How can he have forgiven her when I can barely stand to look at her? Am I being that unreasonable? I almost resent Dad for being able to move on so quickly.

  I used to dream of a carefree marriage just like theirs. Then, when Eli came along, I imagined it with him. I never would have thought Mom was capable of what she did, and it makes me wonder. Would one of us cheat on the other? We are so in love now that I can’t ever imagine that happening. But I would have said the same thing about my parents. That’s the problem with relationships: you never really know. Anything can happen in the future. People change. Circumstances change.

  I jump as loud screams fill the house. It takes me a second to realize where they are coming from. I race out the back door to find a short, thin lady with a head full of red hair marching up the driveway toward my mother, with Jamie chasing behind her. I assume this is Jamie’s mom. I’ve seen her briefly, but not up close. She’s quite a beautiful woman but by the wrath on her face, she’s not so beautiful right now.

  Opening the side gate and letting herself into our backyard, she roars, “You fucking slut.”

  I stand there, gaping, as she lunges for Mom. Dad and Jamie move quickly and pull back both women before Jamie’s mom has a chance to hurt mine. As much as I’d say she deserves this woman’s anger, I don’t have it in me to enjoy watching my mom be abused.

  “How the fuck could you?” she screams. “You’re a home-wrecker.”

  “Hey, calm down,” Dad orders, his voice stern as he stands in front of her, protecting Mom. “Let’s talk about this.”

  “Talk? You want to talk? I hate that bitch for what she’s done.” Jamie’s mom screams before falling to the ground in tears. She turns and wraps her arms around her son, sobbing loudly.

  Dad picks up Mom and carries her into the house without looking back. I stand there and wait until Jamie and his mom leave, unsure of what to do. After a moment, I turn and follow my parents into the confines of our house. Mom is sitting on the couch crying into Dad’s shoulder. She’s shaking like a leaf on a windy day and apologizing to Dad over and over. For the first time in weeks, I actually feel sorry for her.

  Patting her hair, he kisses the top of her head. “Shhhh, it’s okay, sweetie.”

  I don’t know what to do so I just sit on the opposite couch. My presence is probably not needed but I don’t want Mom to be alone. She needs to know that even though I’m angry with her, she’s still my mom and I do love her.

  “Dad.”

  I’m lying on the couch watching the news with my feet in his lap. Mom ended up falling asleep in his arms, so he carried her to bed. He massages my feet as the reporter announces another mass shooting. I feel like a little kid again, and I long for him to protect me from everything bad in life.

  “Yes, sweetheart.” His eyes are glued to the screen.

  “Are you and Mom going to be okay?” I ask, my voice small.

  “I love your mother more than anything. We’ll make it work, baby.”

  “How can you forgive her so easily?” I ask.

  “Because she made a mistake.” His eyes are sad. “What she did hurt me, but she’s sacrificed so much for me over the years. I didn’t realize how much I took advantage of that. I’m going to transfer to work in the Army Guard here.”

  I snort. A mistake is dropping the carton of milk on the floor, or a silly spelling error in an essay. Cheating is not just a mistake; it’s the ultimate betrayal, and one that is hard to recover from.

  But it’s comforting to know that my parents are going to try and work things out. It’s even better to know that Dad will be home and close to me again. I’m not sure if I can forgive Mom yet, but for my sake, and Dad’s, I’m going to try.

  I doze off on the couch and sometime during the night, I slightly rouse from sleep when I feel myself being carried. The softness of my mattress hits my back and my pillow wraps around my head as Dad tucks me into bed. He kisses my forehead and strokes my hair tenderly.

  “Love you, baby,” he whispers, before closing the door as sleep overcomes me.

  ***

  I’m so thankful Friday has arrived, as the mood around school is somber, and I think everyone is looking forward to the weekend. Mr. A’s death has hit the school hard, but the hardest thing is the constant reminder of his passing when attending history class.

  Eli has taken this week off from work, and there’s a relief teacher in his place. Everybody seems distracted and unable to focus on the coursework—especially me.

  I’m worried about Eli.

  “Jill, can I please see you in my office?”

  Looking up from my books, I see Mr. Galleu standing in the doorway. Everyone’s eyes turn to me as I pack up my books and follow him out. Why does he want to see me? My skin prickles as I follow him down the hall.

  He opens the door to his office, motioning for me to go through first. The minute my foot steps in the room, I notice Eli is sitting in a chair at the d
esk. He stares straight ahead, not acknowledging me.

  My hands start shaking. My worst fear is coming true. Who the fuck told him?

  “Thank you for your time, Jill. It’s been reported to the school by a student that you and Mr. Anderson here are in a relationship.” His eyes narrow in on mine. He pauses, wetting his lips.

  I open my mouth, ready to defend us, but before I can, Galleu continues. “Mr. Anderson is denying any such claim. However, I want you to think about the seriousness of an incident like this. If you have been pressured into a relationship of any kind with a teacher at this school, you need to let me know.”

  Eli’s eyes move from outside the window to looking at me.

  “As I said, Mr. Galleu, I had been in contact with Ms. Wilson due to her mother experiencing some difficulty, and I was phoned to a party that got out of control by another student. Apart from that, there’s no relationship.”

  Galleu turns to me. “Jill?”

  “Mr. Anderson is right. There’s no relationship and there never has been,” I mumble. I want to laugh. This couldn’t have waited until next week? He just lost his father, for God’s sake.

  “Okay.” Mr. Galleu smiles briefly. “That is all I need, then. Thank you Jill, you may leave.”

  I storm out of the office and head straight for where I know Jamie hangs out. The lunchtime bell has just rung, and students pour out of the classrooms around me. By the time I reach the small alcove just off from the cafeteria, I can already see him and his friends standing there.

  “Jamie, can I talk to you for a second?” I narrow my eyes at his group of minions, who whistle at me. “Privately.”

  “How come Jamie gets head and we don’t?” one of his filthy friends asks, laughing as he grabs his crotch. “C’mon, Jilly. You know you want it.”

  “Fuck off, asshole,” I mutter. At the same time, Jamie punches him on the arm with a frown.

  We walk away from the group into the corner of the cafeteria, where nobody is around.

  “Did you report us? Eli and I?”

  “No, why?” he asks, dumbfounded, his eyes wide.

  “Because someone reported us, Jamie,” I say, clenching my teeth. “I thought we had gotten past our differences, or was that all talk?”

  “I’m telling you, it wasn’t me,” he protests, and for some strange reason I believe him.

  I groan and roll my eyes, wishing the world would give us a fucking break. It’s one thing after another.

  “I said I’m sorry,” he says, looking me in the eye. “I’m not going to hassle you anymore. I mean it.”

  I nod, and breathe out. “Okay.”

  I don’t attend the last class of the day. Instead, I’m determined to see Eli. Today has been a hell of a day, and we both need to debrief. I just hope this hasn’t scared him back into his shell. I decide on a place way over on the other side of town, where I’m sure nobody will discover us.

  Me: Meet me at Mr. Sushi by Brenton Station in half an hour. We need to talk

  Eli: Good idea. See you then.

  Studying the menu, I order a green tea and miso soup. I’m not hungry, but considering I haven’t eaten a proper meal in days I figure I’d better get something. I’m in the middle of playing Angry Birds on my phone when Eli slumps into the chair next to mine.

  “Hey.” His face moves closer to mine to kiss my cheek.

  I have missed his touch. I crave it. Deciding the kiss isn’t enough, I turn to face him, pressing my lips against his. His hands caress the side of my neck as he pulls his mouth away, pressing his forehead against mine.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” Eli whispers. His warm breath floats against my lips.

  “I’ve missed you too.” I grin.

  He reaches over and takes my hand, entangling his fingers in mine.

  “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “I thought we should talk after today.”

  “Me first,” he says, putting his hand up. “Today confirmed that I need to man up and do the right thing. I need to choose between my career and a relationship with you. What we’re doing isn’t fair on either of us.”

  He’s going to choose his job.

  “Jill, I’m going to resign from my position. I would rather lose my job than ever lose you. Losing you would equate to losing my life.”

  He chose me.

  I’m going to marry this man. Jumping from my seat, I throw myself into his arms, unable to hide my happiness.

  “Eli, there are six more weeks left of school until I graduate. Six weeks. We can do this. How about we don’t see each other until then? I’ve heard phone sex can be really good fun,” I add with a smirk.

  Why is six weeks okay now when it wasn’t before?

  I can’t answer that. Maybe I feel more secure now in our relationship after all we’ve been though. Maybe I’ve matured over the last few months, I don’t know. What I do know is I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to make things easier for him.

  “You’re such a little minx,” he teases, smacking me on the ass. “Are you sure? Because I want you to know, you come first. The minute this is too much for you, tell me and I’m out of here.”

  “We can do this. It’s a few weeks, and with any luck you can pick up another contract in a college.”

  “Just not yours,” he says with a smile.

  “Right.” I laugh. “I’ve had enough of sleeping with my teacher. I don’t want to be sneaking around with my professor too.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Eli

  After I leave Jill, I meet my sisters at the legal firm for the reading of Dad’s will. My sisters are already waiting in reception. I smile and hug them.

  “Take a seat and Bill will be with you soon,” the receptionist says.

  I glance around the sterile white space. The only color is from the framed contemporary paintings lining the walls and the black and silver funky sofas.

  “The Andersons?” An older man walks out from behind one of the doors. He looks about Dad’s age, with glasses and wiry graying hair. I recognize him from the funeral. “Please follow me.”

  We start moving toward a small room off to the side of reception. Sweat forms on my forehead even though the A/C is blasting through the duct. I feel physically sick with anxiety at what might be coming.

  “Okay, let’s start, shall we?” Bill says as we sit around the table. He flips open a large binder. “Tony was a good friend of mine and he’ll be sorely missed.”

  He clears his throat as if trying to keep his emotions in check. “When Tony found about his heart condition, he updated his will. He has requested the house be sold. He has a large sum of money, approximately four hundred and eighty thousand dollars, sitting in the bank, plus his insurance paid out just over one million, four hundred thousand. This, plus the proceeds from the sale of the house, is to be split evenly between the five children.”

  I turn from Bill to look at each of my sisters to see if they’ve pick up on the error.

  “Five?” Mel shakes her head. “No, I think there’s a mistake. You mean four.”

  Bill wets his lips and sighs. He slides a piece of paper across the table. I reach forward and snatch it up. What the motherfucking hell . . .

  “He asked me to pass this letter onto the four of you. It explains everything.” He hesitates before standing up. “I’ll give you all a moment.”

  I stand, sending the chair flying back, and I push the letter away from me. Leaning over and placing my hands on the table, my voice grows quiet. “Please, for the love of God, do not tell me that any of you knew about this.”

  “I’m as shocked as you are, Eli,” Mel mumbles, her expression bewildered.

  I turn to Jules and Leisel, who both shrug helplessly. Sighing, I shake my head. “Will somebody please read the damn letter?” I growl.

  Jules picks it up, her hands shaking. She clears her throat and begins to read.

  My wonderful children,

  I hate that this is how
you have to find out about Aaron, but the truth is, I’m a coward. You know about the affair, but what you don’t realize is what came of it. I think the main reason your mother struggled to cope with what happened was that it was never really over.

  Cecily became pregnant with my son.

  I’ve kept in touch with Aaron all these years because I didn’t want to fail him where I felt I failed you. I tried so many times to tell you all about him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  So here I am, writing this down in a letter.

  I hope you give Aaron a chance to show you what an amazing young man he has grown into. I’ve included, with his permission, his contact details should you wish to get to know him, and I hope you do.

  I’m sorry for all my mistakes, but I’m not sorry they resulted in my son. I hope one day you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

  Love,

  Dad

  I stand up and calmly push my chair in, turning to my sisters.

  “I’ll see you later,” I mumble. I walk out before anyone tries to stop me.

  I drive around the city aimlessly, heading nowhere, thinking about everything. I park in the parking lot of the bar and look at the closed entrance. It’s ten o’clock in the morning, but I need a fucking drink. I slam my fist on the steering wheel, frustrated. How could he not tell me I have a brother? Tears well in my eyes, because the sad truth is that he might have told me, had I given him the time of the day.

  I glance at the address in my hands. I have no idea what I’m doing as I log into Facebook and begin searching for my brother. His name is not common—Aaron Balfoure—and knowing he still lives in Denver makes it easy to find his profile.

  I stare at his profile picture, realization hitting me. I recognize him from the funeral. I’d thought he was one of Dad’s students, because he looked the right age. Clicking through his pictures, I see a photo of him and Dad. My chest feels tight, knowing the years I’ve missed with Aaron and the time I’ll never get to spend with Dad. Glancing at his posts, I see the most recent update was six minutes ago.