Wind River Cowboy

by Lindsay McKenna

  Now he sat with her on the couch some late nights when neither could sleep. Kira would be bundled up in the pink afghan around her lower body and he could sit a foot or so away from her. It was a wonderful time, he felt, for both of them. There was a comfortableness beginning to blossom between them, as if Kira wanted his continued nearness. She never pulled away from him. Never left the couch because he was too close to her. Never dodged his hand if he lifted it to touch her shoulder. Garret felt his hope deepening.

  If someone had told him at eighteen, when he’d joined the Army, that he would wait over four years for the woman he loved, he’d have laughed his ass off. At eighteen he was in a hurry for everything. Instant gratification was his mantra. Now, at thirty, Garret could look back on that time and shake his head, wondering what the hell was the matter with him. Yes, time and maturity had changed him, and so had the ambush that only he and Kira had survived.

  Most of all, because he had survived it, the last year of his life made Garret seriously ask why. Why had he lived and the others died? He wasn’t married. He had no children. Why was he alive when he felt there were others in his A team who were far more important, more valuable to the human race and to the world, than him? As they shared meals, he watched Kira from time to time, noticing her appetite returning. She was slowly starting to regain some of her lost weight. Her cheeks were beginning to fill out, not looking as hollow as before. Garret could see why Kira had been allowed to survive. She was literally a sunbeam in everyone’s life. She automatically lifted people up when she was around them. He had no idea what the hell he contributed to this world except that he breathed. And, okay, he was good at driving heavy equipment. Big deal.

  “Were you planning to leave for town right after we eat?”

  “Yep. We’ll get the Canon and take off.” He saw the sudden jolt of joy in her expression and so badly wanted to lean over, cup her chin, bring her mouth to his and take her long and deeply. How many nights had he lain awake, fantasizing what her lips might feel like beneath his? He’d lost count over the years. There was something satisfying about waiting for Kira. Garret couldn’t put it into words. He often wondered if he had turned into a Victorian-era character, wooing the woman he desired for years before even approaching her about getting married. Maybe the Victorians had it right: There was something magical, something new and exciting, slowly unfolding between himself and Kira. And they were becoming friends. He remembered her saying her parents had been friends long before they’d gotten married. It must be in her genes.

  “I need to be back by three p.m.,” she said. “Mr. Crawford wants pork loin roast for dinner and that needs to bake for two hours to be done in time for his dinner at five.”

  Garret wiped off his mouth with a paper napkin, wadded it up and dropped it on his emptied plate. “Not a problem. Takes fifteen minutes to get into town. We’ll have nearly an hour to spend photographing, if you want.”

  “I’d love it! I’m so excited, Garret.”

  * * *

  The sky was such a brilliant blue that even with his Stetson pulled low over his eyes, Garret wished for his dark glasses. He stood with Kira on the plowed berm. Down the snowy slope was a small, narrow meadow near a stream. There was a small herd of elk who had come out of the mountains to dig for grass beneath the snow. As Kira started to take photos, Garret watched the animals and knew they would have died without that grass.

  His gaze moved from the elk herd to Kira. She stood snapping photos. He shielded her from the cold breeze, standing behind her and a little to her left. The wind was brisk. Kira was wearing her red knit cap, red muffler and green nylon parka. It was only fifteen degrees out and that didn’t include the windchill factor, which dropped the temperature even lower. He was bundled up in his well-worn sheepskin coat, a black knit muffler around his collar and neck. His gloved hands were stuffed into his pockets. Garret noticed a number of people had also pulled off the roadway to watch the elk below.

  He felt happiness winding through his chest just watching Kira at work. She clearly loved photography, was fully and completely involved in the movement of the elk. Some of the bulls were playing with one another, their racks impressive. Garret knew the bulls would lose their antlers in April or May of next year, just in time to grow a new one for the breeding season in the coming fall. The female elk often stayed with one another. Yearling elk babies still remained at their mothers’ sides. Garret could literally feel Kira vibrating with joy. Her cheeks were a bright red, her lips parted in a half smile that made him burn for her.

  Kira was awkward in how she held the camera. From time to time it would slip because of the lack of strength in the last two fingers of her hand. Garret wondered if there was a way to help her keep the camera steady. Frowning, he decided that when he got time, he’d go on the Internet to see if something was available to help her do just that. It hurt him to see what the bullet wound to her arm had done to change her life.

  Kira wasn’t one of those people who let something like that stop her. What she did instead was to rest the camera on a nearby fence post to support it. That allowed her to shoot without a problem. He was proud of her pluck, her ability to make the most of what she had. Garret knew there were people who would allow such an issue to stop them cold in their tracks. But not Kira. He was so damned glad he’d asked Shay if she had a camera. The radiance in Kira’s face made him soar as never before.

  “Oh!” Kira cried. “Look at that! They’re fighting!”

  Garret saw two big, thousand-pound bulls with six-point racks on their heads, getting serious with each other, the clashing sounds of their antlers echoing even up the hill where they stood. “They’re probably bored,” he said, smiling.

  “Great shots!” she cried, clicking away. “Oh! Wonderful! Wonderful!”

  She was like an excited child. Garret wanted to turn her around, sweep her into his arms and hold the joy that was palpable around her, absorb it into himself. Would she ever approach him with that look in her eyes? That kind of eager excitement? He didn’t know, but the ache of his erection told him he wished she would. Still, just being with Kira, discovering this side of her, made Garret determined to find other ways to draw her out. If photography was a path they could share, he’d willingly throw himself into learning about it, lock, stock and barrel. Because he loved her and he wanted her happy. He absorbed her sighs, her oohs and aahs as she clicked away. Garret didn’t want to be anywhere else on earth except right there, where he was at that moment.

  Kira finished shooting and turned to him. “Thank you!” and she threw her arms around his shoulders, giving him a hard, quick hug.

  Surprised, Garret barely had time to react. And then it was too late. Kira released him, standing back, giving him such a radiant smile that it nearly brought him to his knees. He’d never seen such unparalleled happiness sparkling in her eyes. Was it because of the camera? It had to be. Maybe more? Garret hoped so, but he was on very mushy ground with that question and possible answer. He smiled and tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. “Hey, I like seeing you like this. I’ve never seen you happier.”

  She grinned and handed him the camera. “This is the first time we’ve done something fun since I last saw you, over a year ago. For me, it’s a celebration, Garret. The best kind. Come on; I’ll show you how to use the camera.”

  He pulled off his gloves and stuffed them into his pockets. The camera was small in his huge hands. It was just the right size for Kira’s delicate ones, however. He fumbled with it for a moment. “This is a little thing,” he muttered.

  Laughing softly, Kira slipped her hand around his arm, pulling him toward the fence. “You can learn to use it, big guy. Come on, stand here,” and she tugged him forward.

  Garret enjoyed her closeness. He leaned down to hear her softly spoken instructions, her lips so close to his ear. The warm moisture of her breath flowed across his jaw as she leaned up on tiptoes, pointing to the right side of the camera, giving him more instructio
ns. He shouldn’t have been so damned slow to learn, but it was an advantage now. Garret wasn’t a camera aficionado, but Kira’s enthusiasm infected him in the best way. She was leaning into him because he was so much taller than she was and she had to arch her hand across his broad shoulder to point to certain functions on the Canon. Finally he was set and she eased away. Garret missed her closeness.

  For the next few minutes he chose certain elk and pressed the button down. The camera clicked away and he actually found it very easy to use. The best part was that when he’d take some photos, Kira would urge him to stop. Then she’d take the camera from him, dial backward and they would look at his pictures, their heads nearly touching each other. Her enthusiasm was contagious as she pointed and talked in breathless exclamations over some of his photos. One time she lifted her chin, their mouths inches from each other. Instantly, Garret felt his lower body clench. Her lips were full, parted, and the shining look in her eyes totaled him. How badly he wanted to dip his head and take that sweet, sweet smiling mouth with his own.

  Garret barely resisted, struggling to pay close attention to everything Kira was saying because he did want to learn from her. If a camera was a way to her heart, he’d damn well learn how to use one, no questions. Besides, he enjoyed the photos he’d taken and learned a lot about the framing of the elk and which were better shots than others. Later, he handed the Canon back to her. This was Kira’s day, not his.

  Reluctantly, he looked at his watch. It was time to go. Garret watched Kira with the camera. She was fast, and there was no question she had an eye for her subjects.

  Lightly touching her shoulder, he told her they had to leave. He saw how crestfallen she looked for an instant, and then she rallied and smiled. That was the old Kira he knew from Afghanistan. She might be disappointed, but in the next second she rallied and became her usual bouncy, positive self.

  She tucked her hand around his arm and they walked down the slight slope to the truck parked on the berm. For him, it couldn’t be a more beautiful day in every respect.

  In the cab, Kira sat in the passenger seat, the camera held lovingly in her lap, both hands over it protectively as he drove them to the ranch. “What will you do with the photos on that card?” Garret wondered.

  “Well,” she said, frowning, “do you know if Shay has a card reader? Or the cable that goes with the camera?”

  “No. How about you scoot over there and ask her when we get back? I’ll drop you off at her house and you can walk home.”

  “Great idea. Thanks.”

  “I like seeing you this way,” Garret said, meaning it, giving her a quick glance. Kira’s face was flushed, her hair tousled because she’d taken off her cap. Her eyes were like shining diamonds and Garret could feel her unbridled joy. He soaked it up like a sponge.

  “What way is that?”

  He saw her fine brows draw down a little, curiosity in her expression.

  “I remember times almost like this in Afghanistan. Usually you were with babies or younger children, playing with them, holding them, loving them.”

  She sobered and sat back, her smile disappearing. “Yes, I remember those times.” Rallying, she added, “I miss so many of those villagers to this day, Garret. I wonder how they are. I worry that they no longer have the medical attention we were able to provide them. If they’re getting enough to eat . . .”

  “Hey,” he growled, gripping her hand for a moment, squeezing it, “don’t go there. We did what we could while we were there. We can’t save the world. You know that, Kira.” Reluctantly, Garret released her fingers.

  “I know . . . but it was three years of my life, Garret. I can’t just forget about it. Those villagers were a part of me,” and she pressed her hand against her parka, over her heart. “Our guys . . . God, the guys . . . all ten of them, will be a part of me forever.”

  His mouth thinned. Garret didn’t want to go there. Talking about it had extinguished the glowing happiness that had been in Kira’s eyes. It was always a downer to speak about that ambush. He wished Kira could stuff it like he did, but he knew she wasn’t built that way. It was the one thing that scared him the most, talking about the loss of their friends.

  “Well, why don’t you focus on those photos? I’ll bet Shay has something you can offload them with and onto your laptop so you can see how good they are.” He saw Kira instantly perk up. She was so easily moved. So responsive. Garret knew she’d be equally responsive and sensitive as a bed partner, and he wanted to be the man not only to appreciate everything she brought to both of them but to love her like no man had ever loved her before.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kira could hardly contain her excitement after dinner that night. Shay had a card reader. Being able to download the photos onto her laptop was wonderful. She called Garret into their office and he pulled a chair up next to hers.

  “Come see your photos,” she said. She’d felt her entire body go on alert when he’d sauntered into the small office. The warmth in his hazel eyes always made her feel good, lifted her.

  “Sure,” he said. “But why don’t you show me yours first? How am I going to learn from the master if I don’t see her shots first to compare against my own?”

  “You’re right,” she said, “but your photos are really good for a beginner, Garret.”

  He placed his arm across the back of her chair and leaned forward to look at her MacBook Pro, which had a large screen. “Okay, show me yours.”

  “Well,” she said, “I took at least three hundred shots and I’ve reduced it down to twenty-five.”

  “What did you do with the rest of them?”

  She liked his nearness. He was a mountain of a man, and instinctively, Kira inhaled his scent, which always made her feel desire for him. “Usually I just trash them, but I kept them this time because I want to use them to show you why they shouldn’t be kept.”

  He frowned. “You’d throw them away?”

  “Sure.” Kira gave him a patient look. “Not every photo is a good one, Garret. I’m ruthless about getting rid of all but the best.” She saw him grimace. “It’s not like getting rid of one of your children.” She laughed. Just having his arm resting across her chair, not even touching her, made her feel shielded. It was the way Garret was: protective of her. He always had been.

  “I don’t know,” he teased, giving her a crooked smile, “you sure act like each of these photos is a kid of yours.”

  Meeting his grin, she flashed up the twenty-five photos from her laptop. “You’ll see over time that I’m not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” She enlarged each photo so only one was on the screen at a time. “Here are what I consider the best of the twenty-five I saved.”

  Garret leaned in and studied it. The picture was of the two bull elks, both down on their front knees, antlers locked. She’d captured the front half of each elk, the focus on their heads and expressions. “That’s a powerful photo,” he praised her, giving her a quick look. He saw a flush come to Kira’s cheeks.

  “Thanks. Let me show you what’s good about it,” and she pointed her finger, quickly explaining to him composition in general, the light, the camera speed and so much more. When she was finished, she turned, meeting his eyes. There was only six inches between them. She could see the beard on his face, smell his scent, see the burning quality in his green, brown and gold eyes as he studied her. The desire to kiss Garret was powerful. Kira swallowed convulsively and quickly broke contact with his interested gaze. Feeling inwardly shaky, she brought up a second photo. On each of the twenty-five, there was something she wanted to teach him.

  “So, let’s go to your photos,” she said after viewing hers, giving him a quick smile, “now that you know what to look for.” Garret had been Special Forces. Those men were alert, intelligent and didn’t miss much. Ever. As she brought up his best twenty photos and arranged them, she asked him for feedback on each of them.

  There were no surprises as Garret began to honestly evaluate each of
his photos, pointing here and there at them. The pleasure of sharing something she loved so much with him made her feel things she’d never felt before. There was no question she loved Garret, but now it was as if the photography was giving them a focus they could openly share. Kira couldn’t name a time when she’d felt this happy. This content.

  When he was done, she asked, “Okay, Garret, so which one of your photos is your best?”

  “This one,” he said. It was a headshot of a female elk with white vapor shooting out of her flared nostrils.

  “You’re right,” she murmured, giving him a pleased look. “It’s a keeper.”

  “You’re going to destroy the other nineteen?”

  She heard the pang in his voice. “Not if you don’t want me to. These are your photos, Garret. I can burn a DVD or put them on a thumb drive and you can keep them.”

  “Is that what you do?”

  “Well,” Kira hedged, “in Afghanistan I didn’t have a card reader and the laptops we used were Army-only stuff. I didn’t have a photo program like Photoshop or Lightroom to dump them on if I did. I just kept them on my cards. I deleted all except the best ones.”

  “Yes, could you transfer them to a thumb drive?” He gave her a wry look. “As time goes on, I can go back to my beginnings and see I really should have deleted them.”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “No, that’s fine. Photos are like children to most people who photograph things. I do understand.”

  “What about these really good photos?” Garret asked, pointing to the three she’d kept of her own photos.

  “Oh, I’ll burn a CD and keep them.”

  “Is there some way to sell them?” he wondered.

  “There are any number of what’s known as stock photo websites where you can upload your photos, put a price on them and hope you can make some money.”