Wind River Cowboy

by Lindsay McKenna

  She grinned and saw the amusement dancing in his eyes as he sat down. There was a piece of ginger cake at least twice the size of hers on his plate. But to be fair about it, Garret was doing a lot of hard, physical work every day out in cold, freezing weather. He worked mostly in the indoor arena, helping Harper clean out the thirty horse stalls. That was demanding, backbreaking work. And when they got done with that chore, they had to clean leather, bridles and saddles. The place was nearly spotless. They were vets; they knew what clean meant and were willing to work to achieve that goal.

  More than anything, another part of what she loved about Garret was that no job was beneath him. He was a man who did his best no matter what he was asked to do. She felt so proud of him. Garret had never been a slacker and he didn’t know what the word lazy meant. All she had to do was feel the roughened quality of his hands on her and it told the story of his hard work.

  “You know,” Garret murmured between bites, “Christmas is here. When did you and your parents open gifts?”

  “Why, Christmas morning of course.” And then she smiled a little. “Wait . . . I remember once you said you used to open them on Christmas Eve.”

  Shrugging, Garret said, “Yeah, when my mom was alive, we did. She was like a kid: loved Christmas and couldn’t wait to open her gifts.” He frowned. “Not that Cal ever bought her a damned thing. When I was young, I didn’t understand that he was a drunk. When I was nine, I went out and bought my mom a small gift. She loved dragonflies, and when I was walking home from school, I passed a shop that had a small dragonfly pin for sale. It wasn’t much, just costume jewelry, but I bought it for her.”

  Kira sighed. “That was so sweet of you. Did she like it?”

  Garret nodded. “Yeah, she cried, it meant so much to her. My father always drank heavy on Christmas Day, so she had chosen Christmas Eve for me to open the gifts she’d gotten me.” His voice grew emotional. “I’d never seen her cry until the time I gave her that piece of jewelry. And she kept hugging me so much I felt like she was going to suffocate me.”

  Touched, Kira reached over, grazing his hand. “That’s such a beautiful memory to have of her.” She saw the pain, the memories, in his lowered eyes, feeling his loss deeply. “She sounds like she was a wonderful mom to you, Garret. I really wish I’d known her.”

  He dragged in a ragged sigh and shook his head. “Cal killed everything he touched. The only reason I didn’t die under the bastard’s watch is because I left the moment I turned eighteen.”

  “And you love children so much,” she murmured sympathetically, holding his dark eyes. “You’re a natural father. I saw it in Afghanistan, how you became like a second father to all the boys in the village. They loved you so much and you gave so much to them in return.”

  “Yeah, I liked the little rug rats,” he muttered.

  Kira felt sadness cloaking him. “The holidays always bring out the best and worst in all of us,” she agreed quietly.

  “Did you see? Santa Claus left you something under our tree.” He hitched a thumb toward the living room.

  Brows raised, Kira said, “Why, no,” and then she prodded his lower arm. “What did you do?” She saw him smile a little. “Garret? Did you buy me a gift?”

  “Sure. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Darn it,” Kira muttered darkly. “I got you something, too, but it was supposed to be a surprise. I was going to sneak it out before Christmas morning and put it under the tree for you.”

  “And I ruined your surprise.”

  “Yes.”

  He reached out, ruffling her hair. It was something he’d always done to her because it got such a reaction out of her. She squeaked and dodged his hand this time, too, laughing with delight.

  “You’re the troublemaker, Fleming, not me,” she challenged, smiling into his eyes.

  “Naw, not me. You got that reputation all on your own, Ms. Duval. Now, do you want to open your gift on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? I’m fine with either.” And then Garret gave her a wicked look. “But as I recall in Afghanistan, every Christmas when you’d get a package from your dad, you’d tear it open on the spot. Forget about Christmas Eve or Day, you didn’t care. Right?”

  She felt heat moving into her cheeks. “Well, yes, but that was over there. It wasn’t really very Christmassy in Afghanistan. Oh, I know we decorated some spindly tree one of the guys found, but it wasn’t like being home.” Her voice grew merry. “Besides, when I’d get my gift, you were always poking at me to find out what was in it, not to wait until Christmas. Really, Garret, you’re nothing but a big kid under that man’s body of yours. You were just as curious and eager to see what was in my dad’s package as I was.”

  Chuckling, he lifted his hands. “Guilty as charged. So? When would you like to open your gift?”

  She held his warm gaze. “It makes no difference to me. It’s kind of nice to be celebrating a real Christmas with you and really? You’re my gift, Garret. It doesn’t get any better than that for me.” She saw his eyes narrow slightly, felt that powerful, invisible embrace go around her, flow through her. Was it love? Was that what she was feeling? Because it felt like it even though Garret had never used the word. Never spoken about his feelings for her directly.

  “Okay,” he rumbled, “then let’s open them Christmas morning.”

  “This I have to see,” she teased. “You’re worse than a kid about Christmas, and I’ve seen it.”

  “It’ll give you time to wrap my gift, then.”

  She gave him a dirty look. “I suppose you know what it is?”

  “No. There hasn’t been much time to do anything but deal with Crawford’s tempests in a teapot.”

  She grimaced. “You’re right about that. I haven’t wrapped your gift yet.” She waved her finger in his face. “And don’t you dare go snooping and look for it!”

  He gave her a look of mock horror. “Me? I wouldn’t do that to you, Kira.”

  “You did it in Afghanistan. You were well known by every guy on the team; if they got a Christmas gift, you’d sneak into their house, carefully unwrap it and look to see what was in it. And then you’d rewrap it and make it look like no one had seen what was inside. Good thing the captain caught you doing it the third year.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I’m black ops, too. I’ll make sure you don’t find your gift beforehand.”

  His mouth curved ruefully. “I’m not going to try to find it. I promise.”

  “Sure. You’re the fox in the henhouse, Fleming. I’ve got your number. Don’t even try it.”

  * * *

  The joy Kira felt at Reese and Shay’s home the next evening was night-and-day different from two days earlier. Christmas music played on the radio, wafting quietly in the background. The tall Scotch pine had been fully decorated and stood colorful and bright in the corner. Beneath the spreading branches was a red quilt that had been in Shay’s family for a hundred years. She had told everyone her great-great-grandmother had made the quilt and it had always been spread beneath the tree, the gifts on top of it. Kira liked that kind of family tradition.

  She’d just arrived and was standing, admiring the tree, when she saw Garret walk into the living room. He had a green apron around his waist and a large oven mitten on his left hand. For the celebration he wore a dark green country shirt with pearl buttons, the color bringing out the green in his eyes. “Everything smells wonderful,” she said.

  “You sure look pretty,” he said, coming up to where she was standing.

  Shyly, Kira touched the long blue denim skirt that brushed the tops of her boots. She’d dug into her duffel and found a bright red sweater with a mock turtleneck and decided to dress up for the occasion. “Thanks.”

  “How’d the call go to your father?”

  She sighed. “Always good. He was glad to hear I’m doing better. He was worried.”

  “I know.”

  “He said he got my Christmas gift yesterday, so he’ll have something from me.”

  “What
did you get him?”

  “One of the fall photos I took of the Tetons. My dad loves nature, especially mountains. He’s never been in this area of the country and I know he’ll love it.”

  “He can hang it somewhere he can see it,” Garret said. “I’m sure every time he does, he’ll think of you.”

  Her heart warmed. “I miss him so much. He asked if maybe I could come home next Christmas. If I felt well enough to come home for at least a visit.” She gave Garret a pained glance. “I’m hurting him and I feel awful about it.”

  He touched her shoulder. “You’re doing the best you can, Kira, and I believe he knows that.”

  “That’s true,” she whispered, sad. “He never begs me to come home. He knows I’m struggling. I love him so much. I really do miss him: his counsel, his holding me when he knows I need a hug.”

  “Maybe by next year you can go home,” Garret said. “Not everyone has parents who love them like Les loves you.”

  Kira lifted her chin, seeing the loss in his eyes. She slid her arm around his waist, giving him a hug. “I know. I shouldn’t take it for granted.” She released him and stepped back. “I value my father so much. I love talking to him once a week. He’s always been there for me, even after I ran away.”

  He slanted her a warm look. “I have a feeling you’ll be home for Christmas next year.”

  “I hope so,” she murmured. “I just need to keep getting stronger, less anxious. More focused.”

  Noah ambled into the living room, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. “Hey, you two lovebirds, did you see? There’s a gift for each of us under that good-looking tree.”

  “I’ve put my gift under it,” Kira said, pointing toward a red-foil-wrapped gift. She liked Noah calling them lovebirds. Her heart had sped up.

  Noah came over and nodded, looking at all the brightly colored presents beneath the tree. “This is my first Christmas with Shay and Reese. I didn’t know they’d be getting us each a gift. I didn’t have one to give.” And then he brightened. “Maybe a ride on Poncho, who isn’t kicking humans anymore.”

  Laughing, Kira walked over and threw her arm around Noah’s broad shoulders for a moment. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Gifts are exactly that: you give what you can, and if the gift is yourself, that’s more than enough.”

  Noah hugged her back and released her. “Ever the optimist, Kira. You do my guilty soul good.” He moved closer to the tree. “What’s this? A second gift for me?” He picked up a large green-foil-wrapped present in both hands.

  Kira grinned. “That’s from me to you. And it’s nothing special, Noah. Just a small gift is all.”

  He made a face and gently put the present down beneath the tree. “I didn’t get you anything either, Kira. Want a ride on Poncho?”

  She laughed. “No worries, Noah. You’re my gift. You let me come down and help you train some of your nicer horses. I love doing that.”

  Garret said, “I’m off to the kitchen. Noah, if you have a moment? Table has to be set.”

  “Roger that,” Noah said, leaving with him.

  Kira stood by the tree, feeling incredibly happy. She had done a pen-and-ink drawing of Shay and Reese, a portrait to their shoulders, standing next to each other. She felt some anxiety, hoping they would like the framed, signed sketch from her.

  For Noah’s gift, she’d drawn him next to two of the horses he had trained. She thought he would like it. And Harper’s gift was a drawing of him on horseback, moving down the fence line with that wrangler slouch of his. He was on his favorite quarter horse, Jeb, and she thought it had come out looking nice.

  Her heart swelled as she thought of Garret’s portrait, hoping he would like it but not sure. She had withheld his from the tree here and instead put it beneath their own. There was a silver-wrapped gift for her already beneath the boughs there and she’d seen on the tag that it was from Garret. When he’d left the house, she’d gone in and lifted the box. It had some heft to it and she shook it a little, hoping to hear something. But she didn’t. Curious, she had gently set it down next to her gift for him, curiosity burning through her.

  She looked out the window. Night had fallen long ago, but the porch light out front exposed the heavy snow falling silently around the house. It was a perfect Christmas for Kira. She was with people she loved. There was peace in this house now, not upset as before. Shay had dressed up in a golden sweater and black wool slacks and wore a pair of small pearl earrings. Everyone had dressed up and it had felt good to Kira to get out of her own wrangler clothes for a little bit. Even Reese was dressed in a pair of gray slacks and a black sweater, looking every bit like the Marine Corps captain he’d once been. It was so nice to see him and Shay together, love clearly in their expressions for each other. It made Kira’s heart lift with joy. She heard Harper and Garret jawing and joking with each other in the kitchen, bringing another smile to her face.

  “It’s a very different energy tonight,” Shay said to her, coming over and sliding her arm around Kira’s waist and giving her a hug.

  “Isn’t it, though?” Kira looked at her, seeing dark circles she’d covered with base makeup. “How are you doing, Shay?”

  “Better.” Folding her hands in front of her, looking up at the tree, she whispered, “I keep thinking of my father. He’s alone at that condo. He has no one.”

  “He made his choices,” Kira said gently, smoothing her hand across Shay’s shoulder. “It’s not easy on you or him, but he put himself into this predicament. You didn’t.”

  “I know.” Shay rallied and gave her a weak smile. “I should be thinking of how happy everyone else is. The difference in the guys between when Ray was here and gone is shocking.”

  Keeping her expression neutral, Kira said, “Garret lived with an alcoholic for eighteen years, Shay. He knows what it does, how it affects everyone like a deadly infection. In time your father will adjust. He’s got a roof over his head, food and medical care. He’s strong enough to do so much more than he could right after the stroke.”

  “Nothing stays still forever.” Shay gave her a wry look.

  Kira shrugged. “Love is eternal.”

  “Love, yes. It’s . . . well, beautiful. Reese is so wonderful to me, so patient. I don’t know what I’d have done without him. He’s such a wise people manager.”

  “That’s because he ran a company of Marines,” Kira said with a grin. “The guy has hands-on experience with a tough group of men and women. I thought he was amazing in the crisis with Ray.”

  Shay said, “He told me he was going to get Ray out of here. He saw what it was doing to you. Garret came to him a number of times, worried and with legitimate gripes on your behalf. Reese listened.”

  “I knew nothing about that.”

  Shay smiled a little. “No. You were under enough stress. Reese had to figure it out and then ran it by Garret first. Later, he consulted with Noah and Harper. We all wanted you out of the line of fire. I especially knew what you were going through every day and I didn’t have the will or the courage to step in and take over for you.”

  Kira squeezed Shay’s cool, damp fingers. “Listen, you lived with Ray for eighteen years. He wore you down and wore out his love and welcome with you. I know you see that.”

  “I do. It’s an ongoing process for me to separate out our father-daughter relationship and the fact that he never loved me. That’s the hardest part to accept, that a parent doesn’t love his own child. I just don’t get it, Kira. I mean,” she touched her heart with her hand, “if Reese and I have children someday, I’m going to love each and every one of them.”

  Kira saw the agony in Shay’s eyes, the questions unanswered between her and Ray. “I’m sure,” she said thickly, “any child you and Reese have will be the most-loved kid in the world. Hands down.”

  “You can count on it.”

  “Sometimes,” Kira said wistfully, “parents teach children by their example what not to be or do. In your case, as well as Garret’s, you learned
what not to do. You took a positive, healthy road and made good choices for yourselves instead. You need to be proud of yourself for that, Shay. A lot of kids get run under an alcoholic parent and never come up for air. It ruins them forever. At least you two had the internal strength to overcome it and go in the right direction.”

  “Mmm, you’re right.” Shay hugged her. “You’re wonderful for me, Kira. You remind me of all the good things I’ve done, the positive choices I’ve made. Thank you.”

  Later Kira sat beside Garret at the long trestle table, the air thick with laughter, talk and smiles. Everyone ate as if they were starved. The scent of freshly baked biscuits slathered with butter and honey made Kira down two of them instead of just one. Everyone was relaxed and in a good mood. Even Shay rallied, and there was a lot of trading of military stories among the group. She felt the camaraderie, the love among all of them . . .

  At one point Reese told a story about one of his Marines falling into a ditch used by the village as a latrine. It had been during a night patrol and an IED had been fired. The Marine had lunged into what he thought was simply a farm ditch. Wrong. Kira laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks. So did everyone else.

  Afterward, Kira sat on the U-shaped brown leather couch in the living room with everyone else as Shay and Reese distributed the gifts beneath the tree. She was surprised to see a very long pole wrapped in red foil handed to her. Frowning, she looked at the tag. It was from Garret. She turned, giving him a questioning look.

  “It’s a gift,” he said smugly. “You’re just going to have to open it to see what it is. I’m not telling.”

  Grinning at him, she playfully jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. “Come on. Can’t you give me a hint?”

  “Sure,” he said, his smile increasing, “it will help you.”