Dodge Danger

by Anthony Newton

  The Continuing Adventures of Dodge Danger & Twice Weekly

  By Anthony Newton

  Illustrated by Colin Forest

  Copyright 2010

  Prologue

  A fortress on the outskirts of Ko Ru Tan, Guangdong Province, China -- December 1927

  Dodge stumbled painfully into a hard stone wall. He grunted and slid to the floor. A booted foot smashed into his jaw, throwing his head back. Dodge spat blood and glared defiantly at his grinning attacker.

  “I will ask you again! Why have you come to my home?” a thin reedy voice demanded. Dodge clambered to his feet.

  “I’ve come for-” Dodge began.

  “He has come for Musahi Hirutake, exalted one!” a familiar voice interrupted. Dodge tore his attention from the man before him and glanced up at the newcomer. A stocky Brazilian woman had entered the room. Dodge groaned as he saw her mutilated hand.

  “This is Dodge Danger! He brought Musahi Hirutake to my father two years ago and killed my brother! He is a worthless grave-robber and deserves no respect!” Mexitli El-Minos stalked across the room to stand behind her master, Yue Tiansiang – also known as the Ebon Claw!

  “Ah, you are the famous Danger!” Tiansiang smiled as he came forward. His bodyguard - a huge, badly-scarred Korean, shadowed him. His name was Tung-Ma Kim, but he was also known as Mace for his skills with ancient weaponry. “I was convinced that our paths would cross, Australian! But I never thought you would be as foolish as invade my home. However, in many ways I am deeply honoured and deeply amused by your presence.”

  Yue Tiansiang stood taller than most of his countrymen, towering at least four inches above the stocky, well-muscled adventurer. His face was narrow and cruel. When he smiled, which was rare, it was like being favoured by a grinning snake. He seemed to glide across the floor as he approached Dodge. His jade ceremonial robes showed no sign of movement. He clasped his hands in front of his chest, his long, thin fingers tapering into wickedly sharp fingernails.

  “Why do you want Musahi Hirutake? You gave him up before. Why do you want him back now?” Tiansiang craned forward, regarding Dodge like a king cobra regards its prey.

  “A lot changes in two years. I’ve got different priorities now.” Dodge mumbled. When he had retrieved the ashes of the long-dead emperor a few years previously, he had desired other things from life. Fortune and glory had been his simplistic motto. He had travelled through Hell and high water to grab the emperor’s ashes, only wanting a huge diamond in return.

  But Dodge’s perceptions had altered dramatically since then.

  “Bring Musahi Hirutake to us! It is only fair that Dodge Danger sees his goal – it will be the last thing he ever sees!” Tiansiang seemed to slide backwards, his laughter fading into a hiss.

  Mace grinned and left the room, eager to please. Dodge watched him go. At times like this that he wished he wore a watch. Damn it! What was the time?

  “What happened to her father? He wouldn’t have given Musahi Hirutake up without a fight?” Dodge asked, playing for time.

  “Mexitli El-Minos is as ambitious as her father, however infinitely more ruthless. She has proven to be a useful ally.” Tiansiang flowed across the floor towards a window and looked out across the lake that bordered his home from the city. The sky was alive with orange flares.

  Ko Ru Tan was dying.

  Explosions, little more than unsettling rumbles at this distance, were tearing the entire city apart. The Japanese invaders had attacked the city four days earlier and the battle had raged constantly since. It would not be long before they overran the city. Tiansiang had arrangements to make. The Japanese forces were like locusts! They had no respect for property, and soon they would tire of the battle and start picking clean the spoils of war. His fortress would be breached. This was of little consequence to Tiansiang; he had accumulated many homes over his long lifetime. However, even he was not impervious to gunshot wounds. In a few hours he had to make a long journey to one of these other homes, a mountaintop monastery in Nepal.

  But in the meantime he was more than happy to take the time to pluck Danger’s eyes from their sockets. He did enjoy his little pleasures in life.

  From Tiansiang’s fortress the battle sounded far off and almost unreal. However, in the narrow streets of the medieval city of Ko Ru Tan the situation was far more urgent.

  The air reeked of burning wood, burning metal and burning flesh. The Japanese were winning. They had arrived on the eighth of December and the battle had begun. For the first four long days the fighting had been fierce and furious, but now it had degenerated to sporadic street skirmishes. The invading troops were hunting down the surviving defenders and executing them. Nobody in the city was safe.

  Miles Retro, the inventive Scot known as the Steamsmith, wished he was a million miles away.

  Dodge Danger had hired him two weeks earlier, needing his help to find an infamous and almost mythical Chinese crimelord. They had started in the lush islands surrounding Thailand. That had suited Miles. He could land his plane and do some fishing as Dodge traipsed around the jungles.

  However Dodge had discovered that Yue Tiansiang had returned to the Chinese mainland. They had followed the trail to Ko Ru Tan, arriving three days after the Japanese forces. As they had tried to land on a lake near the city, stray bullets had clipped the support struts of his left wing.

  While Dodge went off on his treasure hunt, Miles was forced to scavenge around the city for materials to repair his home-made steam powered plane.

  He had found a relatively intact kite-maker's shop, and after a cursory investigation, discovered some materials that would do the job. Carrying the equipment back down to his plane, Miles turned a corner to see three Japanese troops menacing a beautiful young Chinese girl with their samurai swords. Miles drew his gun. This place was worse than a Saturday night in his home town of Wallace!

  “What in the name of Christ is going on here?” Miles started firing as soon as he had the soldiers’ attention. Three shots rang out in a city that was being destroyed.

  Nobody noticed.

  Mace stalked back into the room. In his rough battle-scarred hands he held the ornately carved jade containing the mortal remains of Japanese Emperor Musahi Hirutake. Dodge watched as the younger man reverently handed them to Tiansiang. The tall crimelord looked directly at Dodge, his eyes narrowing to black slits.

  “I have lived a long and productive life, Dodge Danger. But I still have much left that I want to see and do. Musahi Hirutake will aid me in my quest for longevity!” Tiansiang snapped his fingers. Two black-robed Chinese assassins slipped into the room. They accompanied a beautiful and exotic looking Chinese woman who regarded Dodge with a playful expression.

  “Father, you have brought me an occidental to play with!” Tiansiang’s daughter giggled with a terrifying, child-like glee. Dodge groaned.

  “Oh jeez!”

  “Mr Danger, I would like you to meet my beautiful daughter, Ling Mae. Due to her almost preternatural affinity with snakes, serpents and other lizards, she is also known as Reptilia. She has proven to be more than a daughter over the years.” Tiansiang arched a heavily-plucked eyebrow. “She is a most persuasive young woman!”

  “Is he an American? Oh Father, I have never spent any time with an American ... can I have him? Please?” Reptilia looked up at her father with imploring eyes.

  “Child, I am afraid he is only an Australian. But we have no time for such frivolous matters. Danger is about to leave.” Tiansiang raised his hand and the two black-robed assassins started towards the unfortunate adventurer.

  Backing away from them, Dodge came up against the thick stone wall behind him.

  Mace chortled with glee. Dodge glared at him. The assassins produced an assor
tment of vicious-looking weapons. Dodge took a second to assess the situation and came to the obvious conclusion.

  He was in deep shit!

  “Goodbye Danger!” Mace tittered.

  At the base of the fortress bombs started to explode. Dodge had planted them there before entering the depths of the villain’s lair.

  The entire building shook as the explosions ripped through its foundations. Yue Tiansiang looked at Danger in puzzlement. Were the Japanese attacking the fortress?

  Dodge took advantage of the diversion and grabbed an ornate silk curtain. He rushed forward, dragging the material with him. Balling himself up he barrelled into both his assailants. The material of the curtain wrapped itself around their heads. Dodge spun around and pummelled the first assassin in the back of his head. The huge Korean rushed towards him. Dodge looked up in time to see a huge meaty fist flying towards his face.

  Miles ran through the burning street, the Chinese girl following hot on his heels. She chattered to him in Chinese but he couldn’t understand a word. However Dodge spoke Chinese – he would be able to translate. If Miles could ever find him in all this! He turned to see another four Japanese soldiers approaching him. He raised his rifle (liberated from one of the dead warriors) and fired. The bullet struck the first soldier in the chest. He grabbed the girl by a slender arm and they started running towards the lake. The three remaining soldiers bolted after them, firing as they ran.

  Dodge’s world exploded as the fist connected. He blundered across the room, smashing into an ornate table and shattering it to matchwood. He looked up as one of the assassins loomed over him - this guy was enormous!

  “Dodge Danger, I want you to meet Ozar-Karnux. He is from the Brazilian rainforests – part of a dwindling South American tribe and the strongest bodyguard I have ever had. Oh, and by far the most loyal.” Tiansiang leered. The man grabbed Dodge by an arm and spun him around. His stomach lurched as he literally flew across the room. He hit a marble dragon at the other side of the room, sending it crashing to the floor and shattering to pieces. Dodge rolled onto his feet and came up punching. Four hard blows connected with Ozar’s jaw. Dodge stopped swinging and gaped at the still-standing bodyguard. His opponent simply grinned and spat a mouthful of teeth into Dodge’s face. Then he grabbed the archaeologist and turned him upside down. All Dodge could see was Ozar’s laughing form. Dodge brought his legs backwards and with both feet managed to kick his assailant in the back of the head. Once! Twice! Three times! He continued this until Ozar finally dropped him. Dodge landed with a thump. He rolled onto his back and launched a hard kick into the thug’s groin.

  Ozar-Karnux looked at him curiously.

  Dodge stared back at him in surprise. Shouldn’t he be rolling around on the floor groaning in agony?

  “Mr Danger, Tiansiang has many beautiful women in his service! There are certain things that his bodyguards do not need! It helps them to stay loyal!” Ozar managed through his laughter.

  “Oh, that’s just swell!” Dodge exclaimed.

  Ozar-Karnux rushed forward and attempted to stamp on Dodge’s head. The archaeologist utilised an agility that had been honed through many years, his only advantage over the huge man. As the thug charged towards him he darted in the opposite direction!

  Miles and his new companion finally arrived at the lake. Realising the rifle was out of bullets he discarded it and started firing shots with his pistol to scare off the approaching Japanese soldiers. Then he yanked off the tarpaulin covering his plane. However the Japanese soldiers refused to be frightened off and continued towards him. He took aim and fired twice. Two soldiers fell dead. The men were in no fit state to fight. After four days they were exhausted, desensitised and bursting with anger. The last two fired indiscriminately, missing him completely while he took his time. Bullets ricocheted off the ground near him.

  He motioned for the girl to get into the plane.

  Within a few seconds he dropped into the seat behind her. Much to Miles’ delight, this beautiful Chinese girl had taken an instant shine to him. He rushed through the motions of starting the plane, pausing only to fire off another couple of shots at the last soldier, who simply refused to lie down and die. Finally the plane started to move across the water.

  The Japanese soldier fired after it, but Miles’ years of flying experience enabled him to avoid suffering too much damage. He rose into the cool night air.

  Now to fetch Dodge!

  Dodge was beginning to tire. Ozar the Man-Mountain refused to give up. A sheen of sweat gleamed on his huge body, but he wasn’t even breathing hard.

  Dodge ran to the window. Across the lake Ko Ru Tan continued to burn.

  Christ, he hoped Miles was alright.

  Ozar rushed towards him again.

  Miles’ plane wheeled into the sky. His passenger looked sadly back towards her decimated home. Miles could only offer words of comfort in an alien language.

  “Cheer up lovey! You’re safe now!” Miles winced and silently thanked God that the poor girl couldn’t speak English.

  Dodge watched as the huge thug rumbled towards him. He dived to the left. The sheer momentum of the thug sent him hurtling through the window! However his huge bulk stopped him from fitting through the entire casement.

  Dodge looked up to see his assailant jammed in the window frame and roaring with rage. He would have laughed had his predicament not been quite so dire.

  Mace had stayed to enjoy the spectacle, however now his expression changed. He was no longer laughing. Dodge watched as the gangster attempted to flee from the room. He picked up an ornate brass plate from the table and launched it at the back of Mace’s head.

  With an empty metal clang it bounced off the retreating villain’s skull.

  Dodge looked around. In the confusion Tiansiang and his daughter had escaped. “Damn it!” he cried in frustration.

  Suddenly, there was a commotion behind him; an army of black robed assassins burst into the room! Dodge rolled his eyes in annoyance and darted from the room through the other door.

  His escape seemed to be taking him up rather than down - not the best direction for him to be heading, but better than the alternative.

  Due to the narrow hallway his pursuers couldn’t follow him en masse. However when he reached the end of this corridor he would be in big trouble ... as always!

  Dodge burst through a door to find himself on the roof of the fortress. He slammed the door but couldn’t see anything to block it with.

  He ran to the edge. Far below him lay the lake. He considered diving - but the fall would definitely kill him.

  The assassins poured through the doorway. Dodge turned to face them. “Hi!” he grinned.

  They started moving menacingly towards him.

  On the far shore of the lake, the one soldier to survive Miles had contacted an artillery unit. The plane had last been seen heading towards the Yue Tiansiang fortress.

  Some heavy guns had been dragged to the water’s edge and were being loaded.

  The Japanese commander raised his hand and gave the order. With a curiously hollow-sounding explosion the first gun fired.

  The small biplane sped towards the fortress. Miles watched as an artillery shell flew overhead and sailed towards the structure!

  Ozar-Karnux struggled against the constricting window frame, mute with rage. He looked up to see the shell heading right for him!

  He finally found his voice and managed a child-like whimper.

  Mace clambered to his feet, shaking his head groggily.

  He looked at the window to see the Ozar’s legs scrabbling furiously against the floor.

  Suddenly an explosion ripped through the building. Ozar was immediately reunited with his ancestors in whatever Hell folk like him go to.

  Dodge lurched backwards as the first shell blew a hole in the wall below him. He glanced across the lake. The assassins exchanged glances, unsure of the best course of action.

  As Dodge stood up a whistling noise filled t
heir ears.

  “Well, guys, it’s been a blast!” Dodge smiled as he turned and leaped from the parapet.

  A second later, the second artillery shell smashed into the castle. The resulting explosion killed the assassins instantly.

  But of Dodge Danger … there was no sign.

  Chapter One

  The Urqhart Castle Hotel, Scotland, 1938

  “The whole roof of the castle was blown to hell - excuse the language, but it was! One second there was a whole gang of those wee black-clad buggers, the next-. nothing! I thought Dodge was a goner! Then my new passenger saw him. He was dangling from a window ledge about fifteen feet down the side of the bloody castle! He was alive, lookin’ like somthin’ the cat dragged in, but alive!” Miles paused, allowing his audience to laugh. Dodge sank lower into his chair, embarrassed at the retelling of this story – yet again.

  “Another shell whistled over us and blew up more of the castle. The Japs were nae in the mood for taking any prisoners. Dodge looked up - he had seen us. I took my kite around the back of the castle. Now I always used to modify my gear with gadgets and stuff, so the grappling hook I had in the back was perfect! I flipped a switch and launched it out the rear of my steam-plane. Then I swooped up and did a somersault. From the look on Kim-Wa’s face I thought she was goin’ to puke all over me!”

  A raucous peal of laughter echoed through the hall again. The older, but still beautiful Chinese woman sitting next to Miles threw him a withering look. However, the pilot didn’t care. He was home, he was full of whisky, and he was getting married!

  “Anyway, the hook was trailing behind me like an anchor. I had to fly past the wall three times before that big clumsy galoot managed to grab it! Then I climbed high, Dodge trailing behind the plane like a kite-tail! Just in time too, because half a minute later the ledge that Dodge had been on was demolished by another shell!” Miles’ expression changed and his tone softened. “I’m glad I saved his life! Dodge and I have been pals for a long time! We’ve dragged each-other’s arses out of the fire on too many occasions to remember! I’m honoured he’s here to be my best man! Thanks Dodge!”