by M. S. Parker
“Yes. Yes, I could.” Instead of hot-footing it to the subway, I sank into the leathery softness of the seat and closed my eyes, thinking about my conversation with Isadora.
I'd told her everything that had happened since she'd been kidnapped. All of it. When I'd gotten to the part about him having me arrested, she'd been furious. Then she said she didn’t know why I hadn’t just torn off out of there and told Ash to kiss my ass. She’d laughed when I told her I hit him instead. Her expression had sobered as I explained about Vic.
When I finished, I realized she would feel guilty about what had happened to Vic and me for a long time. That, of course, made me feel guilty. I shouldn’t have said anything.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Maybe if I hadn’t been so shaken by what she’d said about Ash’s girlfriend.
She’s a ghost.
Frowning, I pulled out my phone. The little Wifi signal lit up and I glanced at the driver. “Does the car have Wifi?”
“It does indeed.” He smiled at me from the rearview mirror. “Mr. Lang conducts a lot of business to and from his office.”
“Can I use it?”
“Of course. Get ready and I’ll give you the password.”
It only took a minute and I was cruising through search results on various women named Lily Ann Holmes. Except they weren't her. None of them seemed the right age. None except for a few on those goofy yearbook sites. I clicked one that was local, and found somebody who might be a fit. The age was closer. She was a year younger than Ash was now. And pretty. Granted, the hair was way, way out of style, but pretty nonetheless. And she had wise, young-old eyes. The kind of eyes that would fit the woman Isadora had described.
What had made her that way, I wondered. What had made Lily the sort of person who stayed with a man who was raising his little sister? And what had happened to make her leave that same man, just as they were planning to spend their lives together? Which one had been the real Lily?
Then I wondered about Ash. Wondered the one question I couldn't stop asking.
Did he still love her?
***
Either the hormones had made my professor soft, or she could tell the whole Isadora thing had really torn me up. She gave me my syllabus, as well as the names of the other students until I heard one I knew. Then she made me promise to not miss another class, since there were so few during the short session, and we were done.
I was on the subway by three, and by four, I was back at the Lang household. When I walked inside, I saw that Isadora had pulled out boxes and scrapbooks. Judging by the looks of things, she’d been going through them all day.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I dropped down next to her. The IV was gone and she looked a lot better. Her color was back and other than the weight she'd lost during her captivity, she almost looked normal.
Then she glanced up at me, and I saw that her glib, easy humor was gone.
What had happened to her had changed her. I hoped Ash was prepared for it. If it was hard for me to see her like this, I could only imagine what it would be like for him.
“I didn’t see them. They kept me masked or in the dark.” Her voice was soft, but there was no hesitation. She sounded certain, and far stronger than I would have expected. “But I saw pictures. One of the agents...the lady? Marcum? Agent Marcum showed me the picture that was taken off the security camera here. That man, something about him bugs me.”
“What do you mean?” I skimmed the pictures she'd spread around. It hit me almost as soon as I asked the question. “Son of a bitch. You recognized him, didn’t you?”
“I don’t know. But there’s something about his eyes. Something weird...” Shaking her head, she flipped another picture over. “None of these are helping.”
“What are you looking for?”
“I don’t know!” The sharp sound of her voice echoed through the room. She stopped and sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. “I’m sorry, Toni.”
“You don’t need to be sorry.” I reached out a hand, covering hers. “You went through more hell than I can imagine. If you were totally steady, I’d be worried.”
“Steady.” She laughed weakly and pushed a hand through her hair. Her curls were looking a bit more wild than usual. “You know, I used to wish something crazy would happen to me. Then I met Colton and he’s wonderful. I love him and he drives me...um. Well...”
She blushed.
I smiled. “That’s good.”
“Yeah. It’s beyond good. But there was still this part of me...everything is so...normal. Ash has protected me from everything. My entire life. Ever since Mom and Dad died. And before that, they protected me.” She twisted her hair up behind her head, then let it fall again. “I wanted a life. Excitement. Then, one day, I’m outside, taking a walk and bam – the world goes dark. I wake up, and it’s still dark. I’m blindfolded and...”
Her voice hitched.
I leaned over and wrapped an arm around her neck, hugging her. I'd always been the baby in the family, but I felt protective of Isadora, almost like she was family. “You’re going to be okay, you know. You’re stronger than anybody knows, even you.”
She hiccupped. “I don’t feel strong.”
“You are.” I gave her another minute and then nudged her back. Part of what I'd been learning over the years was how to know when to give comfort and when to be tough. “Come on. You need to focus and get to work. You don’t want Ash coming in here and seeing you like this. He’ll go in hyper-worry mode, won’t he?”
She sniffled, and then, with a watery chuckle, she straightened.
“You’re right.” She swiped at her eyes and shook her head. “Man, you know him a little too well. How did you get him figured so fast?”
“Eh. This part of him is easy to understand. He’s a brother.” I snorted. “I got too many of them. But we girls never want to lose face around them, do we?”
Chapter 11
Ash
She was home. She was safe.
She was home. She was safe.
I’d woken up three times during the night to tell myself that and finally, I could believe it.
But only if I went to check on her.
I did that twice, and would have done it a third time, but as I was walking down the hallway sometime around three, I heard low, hushed voices in the foyer.
Adrenaline surged and I ran the rest of the way, only to stop when I saw Isadora leaning against a tall, lean man. Colton.
She was shaking, her shoulders trembling as she clung to him.
Slowly, I backed away and spent the next few minutes in the hallway, letting my breathing returned to normal.
Isadora must have called him. It occurred to me that maybe I should have done that earlier. It seemed like she really needed him here since she'd called him in the middle of the night, but I just hadn't thought of it.
Under my breath, I muttered, “That’s because you’re a self-centered asshole.”
Tired and irritated with myself, I returned to my room and stretched out in the bed next to Toni. I turned toward her and pulled her to me. She was soft and warm, and the feel of her had my cock stirring. I wanted to pull her onto her knees and drive inside her. Wanted to slide inside her and take her slow, drawing out our pleasure.
She was sound asleep, but I knew I could have her awake and moaning in a matter of minutes.
And because I wanted it so much, I didn’t let myself.
I was walking a thin line with her and I knew it. I recalled her comment about me going back to being an asshole again in the morning, and I told myself I wouldn’t. I didn’t plan to. But I had to find a way to balance this obsessive need for her with everything else.
I didn’t have time for a woman in my life. Especially not somebody like her. Somebody who’d take a man over – and he’d be grateful for it.
But I couldn’t imagine letting her go, either.
The thought of her not being there...
Mine.
She already felt like mine.
Shit.
I had to find a way to make all of this work.
Isadora was home.
She was safe.
Toni was still here.
I could make it all work. I just had to find the right balance.
***
“You’re really going into work?”
It was just barely past seven in the morning when I met up with Isadora in the library where she’d slept. She looked like she’d slept well, too. Colton sat at her side, but I barely spared him a glance. He was glaring daggers at me. I couldn't really blame him, but I wasn't going to apologize either. She was my sister.
Speaking of...she said my name, drawing my attention back to her.
“Just for a few hours,” I said. I stroked a hand over her curls. “Toni's still here. She’ll stay with you and keep you company.”
Isadora made a face at me. “I’m not a little puppy who needs somebody to watch me. Besides, she has a life. I can’t expect her to drop everything. The nurse is coming later, though, and the staff is here.”
I opened my mouth to argue with her. I told the hospital I’d have a doctor on hand. Granted, Toni wasn’t a medical doctor, but she had more training than the rest of my staff.
“Ash. She can’t quit her life to make you feel better,” Isadora said flatly, already knowing what I was thinking. “If you insist that I be watched over twenty-four seven, then you do it.”
She gave me a sweet smile, and I gave her the glare that could silence an entire boardroom. It had never worked on her, and this time was no exception.
I scowled at her. “Fine. I won't expect her to put her life on hold.”
“Thank you.” She took a sip from her coffee cup before reaching over and stroking a hand down Colton’s arm.
The gesture made my stomach clench, but not just in my usual protective big-brother way. The way they were together, it sent a twinge of jealousy through me and my thoughts automatically flashed to the tiny redhead still asleep in my bed.
“Colton can stay a little longer, and the nurse you hired will be here, like you said. Plus the staff, and security. I’m hardly alone.”
“Sounds like you’ve got all of that under control,” I said softly. But she didn’t. There were shadows in the back of her eyes. It wasn’t a surprise, not really. All I had thought about was getting her back. Now I needed to figure out how to make it all better for her. “So what’s the problem?”
“Problem?” Isadora gave me a bright smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “There isn’t one. I just...” She stopped then and sighed, looking away. “Never mind. Go to work, Ash.”
I’d upset her. Colton reached over, and ran his hand up and down her back. She leaned against him, snuggling in close as her features relaxed.
I’d known my little sister her whole life. I’d been there when the nurses had brought her in from the nursery so my mother could nurse her the first time. I'd been the one who'd held her at our parents' funeral.
But it was the guy sitting next to her who managed to make her feel better. I’d just upset her somehow. Lately, I always managed to do that, no matter how hard I tried not to. “Iz...”
“I’m fine.” She patted Colton’s thigh and gave me a tired smile. “I’m going to order up a massive breakfast for Colton and me, and we’re going to talk. I’ll be fine. You can go.”
There wasn’t much point in pushing her. Besides, it would be better to leave before Toni woke up.
I needed to regain perspective, and, strange as it sounded, work was a good place to do that.
There was definitely some necessity involved, no doubt. Running the massive companies my parents had merged under the Phenecie-Lang umbrella wasn’t a job that could be done part time. Sometimes it was a struggle to get it done in the standard hours I allowed myself. Over the years, I tried to keep it to a forty-hour work week because of Isadora, but that wasn’t always an option for a CEO.
My admin had done a good job keeping everything together during the crisis, but I could only stay away for so long.
It was a welcome respite, though, coming into the staggering skyscraper that housed the headquarters of the family empire.
The longer I’d been in the house, the more I’d wanted to stay.
Spend the morning talking to Isadora. Be there when Toni woke up. I almost pulled her on top of me the moment I’d awoken, wanting to keep her close. I actually woke up smiling because she'd cuddled up into my arms while we'd slept, and had one fist resting on my chest, right over my heart. It had felt good there, felt right.
She felt good. She felt right. Like she belonged.
But thoughts like that would only get me in trouble.
Thoughts like that were part of why I'd come into work.
I needed distance, needed to rebuild my walls, and remind myself why the only person I could let matter was my sister.
I’d been in love once. I'd loved Lily as much as I'd loved my family. She'd been my world. After my parents died, she'd been the rock that had kept me from falling apart. She'd helped me deal with Isadora, helped me learn how to become a father to a little girl. And then she disappeared.
Yet another loss I hadn't been able to control.
Sometimes Isadora demanded to know why I was such a control freak. She had no idea just how deep my need for control went, but I knew where it started. I didn’t need any armchair psychoanalysis to figure it out.
Losing my folks, being thrust into the role of running the company, taking care of my sister. Lily.
She’d left me.
I’d never known why, either. I’d gone to get her for our romantic weekend. I'd had my mom's ring ready. But when I'd gotten to her apartment, instead of finding her packed and waiting for me, she’d just been gone.
Whether there had been another man or what, I'd never found any answers.
All I'd ever gotten was a letter from her, tear-stained and full of apologies. Nothing had gone how she'd planned, it had said, but she hadn't really loved me and she hadn't been able to lie anymore.
I could still recall that sickening sensation as I realized she'd left. That she hadn’t just changed her mind about getting married, but that she'd never wanted to be with me in the first place.
I'd never told Isadora about the letter. Better she have good memories of Lily and the grief of not knowing the truth. The truth that it had been my fault, that I'd been the one who'd taken Lily away from her because Lily hadn't wanted me.
I wasn't going through that again. I wasn't putting myself at the mercy of somebody else like that anymore.
A small voice at the back of my head whispered that Toni wasn't Lily. I knew that voice too well. It had spoken to me a lot in the weeks after Lily had left, telling me to look for her.
The voice knew shit.
What I did know was that while losing Lily had gutted me, if I let myself get lost in Toni, it would destroy me.
Inside the offices of Phenecie-Lang, I was greeted with courtesy and polite smiles. There were a few of the ass-kissers as well, but I was long used to ignoring them. Everybody else, I nodded at or spoke to as deemed necessary.
Nobody actually seemed overjoyed to see me though. They never did.
The only person who was ever actually happy to see me was my sister.
And Toni...
“Shut up,” I muttered to that little voice again.
One of the suits in the elevator bank gave me an odd look. He thought I didn’t notice and I let him think that. I preferred that nobody was aware that I was having a mental breakdown. I hit the button for my private elevator and slid inside before I gave them any more free entertainment.
Yeah, Toni was happy to see me. Probably the same reason I enjoyed seeing her. We were good in bed. Fuck that. We were great in bed. What I needed to do was find a way to have that, but still keep my distance.
I went straight to the top. This floor was mine, and mine alone. Along with my office and the office
for my administrative assistant, there was a small, state of the art gym, a conference room, a kitchenette, a small but formal dining room, and a bedroom. Sometimes I ended up working far later than I wanted to.
Most of my time was spent in the office, though.
Melody was already striding toward me when I stepped off the elevator. She'd kept everything running smoothly in my absence, and I made a mental note to give her a raise.
She held a stack of files in her hand and didn't even bother with a greeting. “I have contracts that you need to sign, contracts you need to review, and contracts that can wait. There's also other material that needs your attention, some of it quite urgent.”
“I can stay a few hours this morning, but that’s it. What I can’t get done, I’ll take home with me to finish up.”
“Of course. Are things getting better?” She didn’t ask anything too personal, but she'd known more than anyone else, which wasn't saying much.
I’d been able to keep the kidnapping out of the news. Hopefully, it would stay that way, otherwise, my PR team would have some dancing to do to make sure the shareholders and everybody else knew that the company and its holdings were secure. Even the most 'family-friendly' businesses still put the almighty dollar ahead of family.
“Yes.” I managed a faint smile. “I’ll still be in and out for some time, but I’ll probably be able to spend a bit more time here than I have the past few days.”
“I’ll help as much as I can. Here.” She held out the files to me and I accepted. “Be warned, some of these are going to take a couple of hours...each.”
“Wonderful.” I blew out a breath and took the paperwork into my office, shutting the door behind me.
***
Those few hours went by quicker than I would have thought possible. As much as I worried for my sister, a part of me relished getting back to work. Now that she was safe, I could actually focus on my job for a little while.
Even though some of it could feel like obligation at times, I loved my job. Even the contracts, as dull as some might consider them to be, appealed to me. It was a puzzle, a huge puzzle, and it all added up to money earned and jobs for all the people who depended on the Phenecie-Lang Corporation.