16 Blood Noir ab-16

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  Jason let me keep a death grip on his hand, and complained only once that he was losing feeling in his fingers. He was too worried to tease, which made me worry about him. Jason teased the way he breathed. Solemn wasnt his thing.

  I tried to comfort him. He finally turned to me with a smile so sad it made my throat tight. Its okay, Anita. I appreciate the effort, but I cant think of anything you can say that will make me feel better.

  He raised my tense hand to his face and rubbed his cheek against my knuckles. The horrible tightness inside me eased just a touch.

  He smiled, and it was almost his old smile. His eyes sparkled with it. I knew that look. He was about to say something I wouldnt like.

  A little more touch made you feel better, too.

  I nodded.

  The smile was pure Jason when he said, We could do the whole mile-high club; that might make me feel better.

  Mile-high club? I made it a question.

  He kissed my knuckles, soft, a little more open mouth than would be polite in public. Sex on a plane.

  I shook my head and laughed. It was almost a normal laugh. Points for me. Now Im not so worried, I said.

  Worried about what?

  You, if you can flirt and tease, youll be all right.

  He pressed my hand to his face, and his eyes went from teasing to too serious. Who says Im teasing?

  I gave him the look the suggestion deserved. I could not possibly have sex on a plane. I can barely keep myself from running up and down the plane screaming.

  The lascivious look changed instantly to that sparkling, teasing look. Might take both our minds off our problems.

  I tugged at my hand.

  He smiled, and kissed my hand, the way it was supposed to be done. A bare touch of lips, not open mouth, no tongue, chaste. Ill behave if you insist.

  I insist.

  The extra touching made you feel better, too, Anita. I could sense it in the way your hand felt, the way your body smelled less like prey. Seriously, why not have sex? Why not feel better?

  I frowned at him, because I realized he really was serious. One, the pilot might walk in on us. Two, were on a plane, Jason, I couldnt possibly. Im too freaked.

  Can we have sex when we land?

  I frowned harder. You mean when we touch down?

  No, hotel, I guess.

  I wasnt offended anymore, I was too puzzled. He wasnt teasing. He was dead serious. It wasnt like him. Wont you want to go to the hospital or your old house before we get all messy?

  He smiled, but it left his eyes worried. I dont want to go to the hospital. I dont want to go to the house. I dont want to do any of it.

  I held his hand tight, not because of my fear, but because of the pain in his voice. Strangely, worrying about him helped me be less afraid about where we were. Who knew therapy for someone else was the answer all along to my own fears?

  I dont think having sex is going to make this visit easier.

  He smiled then, and a look ran through his eyes so quick I almost didnt catch it. But it was similar to a look that Nathaniel had, so I knew it, all too well. It was a look that said I was nave. Jason was years younger than me, and he hadnt had all the bad experiences that Nathaniel had had, but hed had his share.

  I am not being nave, I said.

  You read me that fast?

  Nathaniel has a look pretty close to it, I said.

  Of course, it couldnt just be me you knew that well. He sounded bitter.

  I began to worry that I was in a much different problem than I thought with this favor. Whats that supposed to mean? I asked.

  I want someone to want me the way you want Nathaniel. I want someone to love me the way you love the men in your life.

  Perdy loved you that way, I said. Was it mean to say that, or just true?

  He gave me an unfriendly look. Are you trying to be mean?

  I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and tried to be honest, but not mean. I am on a plane, which means I am not at my best. Let me try this: youve told me before that you want to be consumed by romance, by love. You want to burn with it. Since I spent years fighting against anyone who wanted to love me like that, I dont quite get why that is your goal, but you say it is, so it is.

  What am I supposed to say now, Anita? That I threw away someone who wanted to consume me with her love? I guess I did.

  I shook my head and tried one more time. No, I dont mean that. I mean Perdys idea of love and your idea of love arent the same. You want to be consumed, not smothered. A fire needs air to burn bright. She took your air away, and the fire died.

  He studied my face. That was actually smart.

  Gee, Jason, thanks, you sound surprised.

  He smiled. I dont mean that. I mean, that makes sense, that makes me feel less stupid about not wanting Perdy to love me. I do this big thing about wanting someone to be obsessed with me. I get it and I dont want it. I thought I was being fickle.

  Obsession isnt love, Jason. Its possession.

  I want to belong to someone, Anita.

  But you want closer to what Nathaniel has, than a traditional marriage.

  You mean I want to belong but not be monogamous.

  I shrugged. Technically, Nathaniel is monogamous. He doesnt have sex with anyone but me.

  Jason grinned, blue eyes shining. He so has sexual contact with other people.

  Hes a stripper. Sexualized contact with other people is part of the job description.

  I didnt say sexualized. I said sexual. At our jobs we cut it pretty fine, but actual sex is illegal.

  I closed my eyes, but that made the purr of the engines seem louder. I opened my eyes wide and tried to think of what Id been saying. What do you mean then?

  He gave me another of those looks that said I was being either nave or obtuse. Since I wasnt being either on purpose, I didnt know what he meant.

  Dont give me that look, Jason. I honestly dont know what you mean.

  It was his turn to frown. You dont, do you?

  No, I dont. I couldnt help but sound grumpy.

  What do you consider sexual contact, Anita?

  I dont know, sex.

  Anita, Ive seen Asher feed on Nathaniel. Hell, Ive had him feed on me. Youd have to be a hell of a lot more homophobic than either Nathaniel or me not to understand that when Asher feeds, its sexual.

  One of Ashers abilities was to make his bite orgasmic. It wasnt just mind tricks either. It was like a special ability. When hed been a bad little vampire hed used that ability to get money, land, protection from his victims. People had begged him for one more night, even when they knew it would kill them.

  I know what Asher can do, better than you do, Jason.

  Oh, geez, Im an idiot. How could I forget that? He hugged me. Im sorry, Anita, Im so sorry.

  Asher and I had had sex and blood alone for the first and only time. Hed nearly killed me with pleasure, because I asked him to. Begged him to. We werent allowed to be alone anymore, because Id admitted to Jean-Claude that I still craved what wed done. Of all of Jean-Claudes vampires, Asher was the one I feared the most. Because he was the one who made me want him to do deadly things to me.

  Jason hugged me and said, Im scared and thats making me stupid. Im sorry.

  The pilots voice came over the speakers. It made me jump and make that girl eep. Jason kissed my forehead.

  Were about to land, Ms. Blake, Mr. Schuyler. If you could take your seats, thatd be good.

  Im okay, Jason, neither of us is at our best.

  Forgive me.

  Nothing to forgive, I said.

  Jason nodded, but not like he believed it. I wasnt used to him being like this, emotional, forgetful. His father was dying. His mother was blackmailing him, emotionally. I guess he was entitled to be a little off his game.

  I tightened my grip on the seat and his hand. Id be better when we landed. It would all be better when we landed. I tried to believe that, but part of me knew if Jason was already having problems, it was only going
to get worse.

  How did I end up holding his hand for this? Oh, right, Nathaniel volunteered me. I was so going to make him pay for this. The plane bounced a little on the runway, and I gasped a little. But we were on the ground. Things were looking up, at least for me.

  9

  I SAT IN my swivel seat for a second relearning how to breathe and fighting down the nausea. I told my stomach to stop being such a baby. We were on the ground, for Gods sake. I could always insist on renting a car for the ride homethough I knew I wouldnt. Id never be able to live with myself if I let my fear get that much of an upper hand. Fear was like cancer in remission. If you gave in to it, even by an inch, it would flare up again and eat you alive.

  Jason stopped at the open door and looked back at me. You are coming, right?

  I nodded. The nausea was past. I could breathe again. It was cool. Okay, that was a lie, but it was the best I could do.

  Jason came back to stand and look down at me. I couldnt quite read his expression. It really scared the shit out of you to do this, didnt it?

  I shook my head, then shrugged. I finally said in a voice that was way too breathy for comfort, The runway is kinda small, dont you think?

  He bent down and kissed my forehead again.

  I looked up at him. What was that for?

  Being brave, he said, and he looked serious when he said it. He offered me his hand.

  There was a time when I wouldnt have taken it, when I would have seen it as a sign of weakness, but Id grown up a little since then.

  I took his hand. He squeezed it and gave me a smile. This smile was one of the reasons I was on the damn planethe smile that said he understood how much it had cost me, and that he understood me in a way that a lot of people didnt. We would never be real boyfriend and girlfriend. Wed never be each others sweetie, but Jason got me in a way that some of the men I was dating didnt. And I tried my best to understand him.

  I realized as he led me down the narrow aisle hand in hand that it wasnt just Nathaniel who considered Jason one of his best friends.

  Jason went first down the little folding steps, bent sort of backward, to help me. That was a little more help than I probably needed, but then I was wearing heels.

  A man met us at the bottom of the steps. He was average height, more bald than hair, in a nice suit. Not as nice as the one Jason was wearing, but it wasnt a bad suit.

  Mr. Summerland, I didnt expect you until tomorrow. He was smiling until Jason helped me down the little stairs in my heels.

  Im not one of the Summerlands, Jason said. He said it as if the confusion wasnt unexpected.

  The man looked at Jason, then at me, as Jason helped me down from the plane. The man winked at him. Of course not, youre Mr. Smith?

  I was finally on solid tarmac, yea! Why dont you make it Mr. Allbright, its more original, I said. I thought I was making a joke.

  The man began to scribble down Allbright on his clipboard. Of course, Mr. Allbright, were glad to have you with us.

  Jason sighed. She was making a joke. The name is Schuyler, Jason Schuyler.

  The man crossed out Allbright and wrote in the right name. Whatever you say, Mr. Schuyler.

  Crap, Jason said under his breath.

  Whats going on? I asked.

  If I was a Summerland, why was I coming in tomorrow?

  The man looked puzzled, but he played along in whatever game he thought we were playing. Your bachelor party, of course. Youre getting married at the end of the week. Your brother arrived yesterday with his fiance.

  Look, I am a distant cousin of the Summerlands. I got mistaken for the twins all through school. My name really is Jason Schuyler. This is my friend Anita Blake. Im here to visit my family.

  Of course you are. It was clear he didnt believe Jason, but at the same time very clear that he would repeat whatever lie Jason spouted, and swear to it in court afterward.

  I take it the Summerlands are big shots around here? I said.

  The biggest, Jason said.

  The man with the clipboard looked from one to the other of us. The bride-to-be is already in town. Her bachelorette party is tonight.

  You invited? I said.

  He looked flustered. Of course not.

  Then how do you know so much?

  Ive been helping get the guests settled, he said, and sounded indignant.

  Fine, but we are not guests.

  Of course not, and if asked, I havent seen Keith Summerland. He will arrive tomorrow as planned. The man seemed pleased with himself as if hed said a smart thing. Then he walked away with another wink.

  I looked at Jason. We are speaking English, right? I mean he does understand what were saying, doesnt he?

  You have to know Keith to understand the mans problem. It would be like him to come in a day early with another woman. Hed probably bring the stripper in personally.

  A wild child? I asked.

  He thought he was. I just thought he was a dick.

  Do you really look that much like him?

  Yes. He said it flat and unhappy. I look enough like them both to make this visit even harder. The media will be all over this wedding.

  But theyre like local celebrities, not national, right? I mean, it wont be that bad.

  Do you know who Governor Summerland is?

  I stared at him. Youre joking.

  I wish.

  The governor that theyre thinking about running for president is this Summerland?

  Yep, Jason said.

  I dont watch TV or read newspapers much, but even I know who he is.

  If his eldest son is getting married this week, the media are going to be everywhere, and I look like his twin. We were always getting confused for each other in high school.

  You cant look that much alike.

  He pretended to be me on a date with my girlfriend. She caught on, eventually. He took a beating for me once from some of the guys at school. Id smarted off, and they found him first. He was hitting on a girlfriend of mine again. Pretending to be me.

  And he got beat up for it? I said.

  He did.

  Very karmic, I said.

  Jason nodded, actually looking happy. We had our bags on the tarmac and the pilot was asking for a return schedule when we were joined by a man who, though well dressed in a nice conservative suit, had thug tattooed across his forehead. Metaphorically speaking.

  The suit was tailored well enough that if I hadnt been looking for it I might have missed the bulge on his hip. But I was looking, and I knew a gun when I saw it ruin the line of a suit. The Browning did not ruin the line of my suit jacket. For such a big gun it was strangely invisible under my little jacket in its new sideways holster.

  I actually moved in front of Jason. Just automatic. After all, I was packing a gun, and he wasnt. The conservative thug didnt even look at me. He had attention only for Jason.

  The girl gets back on the plane.

  The girl has a name, I said.

  What I dont know, I cant lie about. Please, Keith, dont do this.

  I am not Keith Summerland. Do I have to prove it?

  Keith, stuff like this isnt funny anymore.

  Do you want to see my drivers license?

  The man finally looked puzzled. What?

  Call up the governor, or his wife, or even Kelsey, tell them that Jason Schuyler is just trying to visit his family, and you wont let us leave the airport.

  The muscleman looked at Jason. Keith, I thought this kind of shit was over.

  Jason got out his wallet and flashed his ID. I got confused with them both in high school, too.

  The man looked at the ID, like he was really studying it. He looked at Jason, then got a small flip phone out of his outer jacket pocket. This is Chuck, Id swear its Keith, but Im looking at an ID for a Jason Schuyler. He said uh-huh a lot, then closed the phone and handed Jason his ID back. Im sorry about this, Mr. Schuyler. The governor says hes very sorry about your fathers illness.

  Yeah, my father is dying of c
ancer, and instead of being able to see him in peace, Im going to get stopped by every piece of media from here to the hospital. Jesus, if Id known about the wedding I might have held off a week.

  I touched his arm. You couldnt have done that.

  I know, Jason said, what if he died this week? I think he tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat and bitter.

  I am truly sorry about the misunderstanding, Mr. Schuyler. We have limos waiting for the guests to arrive; if we can drop you anywhere to make up for the difficulties, just say the word. The limos have dark glass, and weve had lots of the brides friends arriving. The media has stopped hounding the limos, because the interviews all sound the same.

  And if I take a taxi theyll wonder why Keith is with a brunette that isnt his fiance, and why hes not in a limo, Jason said.

  Chuck shrugged massive shoulders. That did occur to the governor.

  Fine, drop us at the hotel.

  But wont us getting out of a Summerland limo sort of add to the confusion? I asked.

  Chuck looked perplexed, as if I was forcing him to think about things that werent usually his business. Hed been perfectly comfortable shoving me back on the plane. Forcing Keith to be a good boy. But figuring out what to do with an identical cousin who wasnt close enough to be included in the wedding, that was beyond him.

  Well take the limo, and get a taxi to the hospital. I dont know what else to do, Jason said.

  Ill call the press secretary from the limo, Chuck said. You guys look enough alike that it could be a real problem. If the media think youre Keith and are cheating with this chiquita here, itll get ugly.

  Youve called me girl, now chiquita. Chuck, you are not winning brownie points with me.

  He gave me a look that clearly said he didnt give a damn, and who was I to complain?

  This is Anita Blake; shes my very close friend, Chuck.

  Girlfriend? He made it a question.

  Jason nodded. Im bringing her home to see my dad before he dies, that put it in perspective? Jason squeezed my hand as if to say, Just agree with me. I wasnt sure I disagreed, or agreed, so I just stood there and let Jason handle it. It was his crisis, not mine.