16 Blood Noir ab-16

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  The bed moved as someone shifted position. I knew who it had to be before Crispin rose up on his arms and blinked blue tiger eyes at me.

  I pointed the gun at him, two-handed, and the move was too fast. It pulled on the claw marks on my arm, and hurt like a son of a bitch. I held the pose, but had to fight my body to do it. I told him, Dont move!

  42

  H E DIDNT MOVE, but he said, Do you wake all your lovers up at gunpoint? His voice seemed deeper than it had last night. He coughed to clear his throat. It made me jump, not good when holding a gun. I fought to calm my body. If I shot him, I wanted it to be on purpose, not because I flinched. But I was afraid to take my finger off the trigger, because he was a lycanthrope, and they were just that bloody fast.

  I remember you fighting with Jason and me, I said, gun still pointed at him.

  He frowned. Yeah, but the fight with your wolf was about you, being your mate. There was plenty of you to go around last night.

  Thanks for the phrasing, I said.

  He smiled. Sorry, I didnt mean to offend a woman holding a gun on me. But my point is that theres no reason to fight when you share yourself so well. Besides, I got to go first. The smile filled his eyes with a dark light. Not otherworldly, just a man looking at a naked woman whom hes fucked. That possessive, sure-well-get-to-do-it-again look. Crispin hadnt earned that look, not yet.

  My wounded arm was beginning to try to twitch. I fought to keep my aim steady. How badly was I hurt?

  If youre not going to shoot me, may I get up and use the bathroom?

  You dont believe Ill shoot you, do you?

  I dont remember everything from last night, which means Ive been rolled. You rolled my mind just like any other vampire. Not that Im complaining, the sex was mind-blowing, but you did mind fuck me. Legally, its rape. You raped me, not the other way around, Anita. I mean, I would have said yes, but a man likes to be asked. I should be the angry one, not you.

  I wanted to argue with his logic, but couldnt. I did the one thing I could do: I lowered the gun. My arm was going to make me do it soon anyway.

  Does this mean its safe to go to the bathroom? he asked.

  Yes, I said.

  Great. He got up, and it was interesting to see him moving a little stiffly, too. When the sex has been rough enough for the lycanthropes to be sore, us humans are going to be hurt.

  There were scratches on his back, and they didnt look like claw marks. Had I done that? And if I had, why hadnt they healed when he shifted back? Only damage by silver or another lycanthrope could survive the shift of forms for the most part. So why would my nail marks still be on his body?

  I pushed the thought away. Id worry about it later. I had way more immediate problems to worry about. What had Crispin said? That Id mind-fucked him just like any other vampire. Had I done that? Had the ardeur done that?

  Water started running in the bathroom.

  I needed Jean-Claude. I reached out to him down that long metaphysical cord that bound us and foundnothing. I could not sense him. It was like some huge, white blankness where he should have been for me.

  Fear came back in a rush of near panic. I started shivering and couldnt stop. I fought the urge to scream at Jason to wake up and tell me if he could sense Jean-Claude. Was it just me, or was something wrong with Jean-Claude? I had a cell phone once. Where was it? When metaphysics fails, you can always try technology.

  I started digging through the ruined clothes with the one empty hand I had. Where the hell would the cell phone be? Had I had it with me last night? Or was it in the luggage still? I couldnt remember. Damn it, what was wrong with me?

  The water stopped running in the bathroom. Crispin opened the door and came out. Did you lose something?

  Just my mind, I thought. Out loud I said, My cell phone.

  He frowned, thinking. I remember weapons, but not a phone.

  I thought you didnt remember last night.

  I remember parts, so youre right, maybe there was a phone. Ill help you look for it. He came to kneel by me. It was too close after last night, and we were both too nude for comfort, but I needed the help. Was it silly not to want to be this close to him naked? Silly or not, it made me uncomfortable. Did he really think Id rolled him on purpose? Did he really think Id done the equivalent of metaphysical rape? Hed said it, but he didnt seem that upset by it. Id threatened to kill people for less; hell, I had killed people for less.

  You know, you could look more effectively if you had both hands free, Crispin said.

  The gun makes me feel better, I said.

  And the cross in the same hand? he asked.

  The chain broke.

  He stopped rummaging through the clothes to look thoughtful again. You jerked it off and threw it away.

  I wouldnt do that.

  He shrugged, then winced. You did it. Then he looked at me a little harder. Those strange blue eyes studied me. You dont remember everything, do you?

  I debated on what to admit, but finally went for the truth. I remember it breaking, but not who did it.

  You did it, and that charm of yours, too.

  Charm, I said, what charm?

  He looked at my face like he was trying to see through me, then finally said, This charm. He held his left arm out to me. At first I didnt understand, and then I saw the burn in his arm. It was a circle with an animal in the middle of it, done a little soft the way brands get most of the time. I peered at it, getting closer to the skin of his arm. I thought at first it was Cerberus, the dog that guarded Hades in Greek myth, but the animal had five heads. Cerberus only had three. Then I saw, or thought I saw, stripes on the animal. It was a tiger, a tiger with five heads.

  Hed said it was my charm that had done it. I stared at the mark on his arm and didnt know what he was talking about. I reached out toward the brand, stopping just short of touching it. Something stirred in my mind. Was it a memory? Was he right? Had I done this?

  I tried to remember. Tried to bring that nebulous thought to the front of my head, but it was like this darkness. There was nothing there to remember. Crispin was a stranger to me. Was he lying? I needed Jason to wake up. I needed someone I knew and trusted. Shit. Something was wrong with me. That much I knew. But I didnt know what was wrong, or why I couldnt figure anything out. It waswrong, too. The fact that I couldnt figure out what was wrong. That was a clue. I knew it was, but it was as if my brain wouldnt, or couldnt, make sense of it.

  Crispin growled low in his bare chest. I smell wolves.

  A second later I felt the energy of them coming down the hallway, but I knew the taste of this energy. I reached out, and could suddenly smell forest, the rich earth of leaves, and the comfort of pine. I had a tactile moment of paws on the leaves and earth of the forest floor. I smelled the harsh, sweet musk of wolf, so thick that it tightened things low in my body, in a good way. Only one werewolf could make me react like that. But it couldnt be him. He would never have risked coming here with other wolves. He would never have risked this much potential media. He was in deep cover, our Ulfric, and coming here like this was not the way to stay hidden.

  But impossibly, I felt him out there in the hall, felt him move closer, and knew that there were at least two other wolves with him. Our wolves, our pack.

  Crispin was on his feet, his otherworldly energy swirling off of him like invisible fire. It was way more power than hed had last night. Had he hidden it? Was I that bad at tiger energy? Shit.

  I stood up, a little slower, gun in hand. Its my Ulfric and my pack.

  What are they doing here? he growled from human lips. Once Id thought growling voices from human mouths was strange. Now it was so low on my weird list, I didnt blink.

  I dont know. I think they came for me. I was already going for the door. Did we still have guards out there? What would they do about Richard and his men?

  I had a moment to realize I was naked, covered in blood and other things, along with wounds. I might have tried to throw something on, but I heard male
voices by our door. Stop right there.

  Shit.

  I took a deep breath and went for the door. Maybe I could hide to the side, and not flash the entire hallway. I had a memory of doing this last night. The red tiger had come and the guards had stopped him. Id opened the door nude and let him in. Id told the guards that I knew him and had asked him to stop by, or something like that. I could remember his human form now. Tall, short hair the dark red of his own fur, and his eyes. Id looked into his eyes and been disappointed. Theyd been brown, just brown. Id known that was wrong, very wrong. I had a glimpse of him with human eyes that were dark rich golden yellow, with edges around the iris of orange, red. Hed had to take out his contacts that hid his tiger eyes before Id let him touch me. Why was that important? Why had that mattered to me? Hell, for that matter, why had I let in a stranger at all?

  I heard deep voices, and the guards repeating, Back off, now.

  I was out of time to get clothes. The returning memories had distracted me. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

  43

  I HID AS much of me behind the door as I could, but with one hand on the doorknob and the other hand still holding a gun; it was a little awkward in so many ways.

  The guards were Shadwell and Rowe. That was wrong. They hadnt been our guards in the night. What time was it? How long had we been out? Had we cycled back through our guard shifts? Shit, again.

  Its all right, guys, I said.

  The hell it is, Rowe said.

  We cant let them in, Blake, Shadwell said, not without clearing it with someone.

  I looked farther down the hall, and there they were. Jamil and Shang-Da stood in front of whoever was behind; they were not small men and seemed to fill the hallway. Shang-Da was well over six feet, the tallest Chinese man Id ever met. His hair was cut short, and he wore a long black trench coat. I knew it wasnt because of the summer heat. There would be dangerous toys under the coat. Jamil was almost five inches shorter, which put him at about six feet. He looked small, but then everyone looked small beside Shang-Da. Jamils hair was in cornrows to his waist with tiny white beads showing. He wore a white suit that made his skin look even darker than it was. The suit was a generous cut, not the formfitting style he preferred. Some suits he had were for show, but this was a business suit of someone who wore weapons and didnt want them spotted. It was a tailoring challenge, I knew that myself.

  They were Richards bodyguards, his Skll and Hat, respectively. The names are the wolves in Norse mythology that chase the sun and moon. When they catch them, it will be the end of the world. In werewolf society they are the guards who keep the Ulfric, wolf king, safe.

  I looked at them from Rowe and Shadwells perspective. Even if you couldnt feel the otherworldly energy rolling off them, no self-respecting guard would let them inside any room. They just needed signs that said bad ass. No, strike that, they didnt need signs. It was too obvious to need anything else but them standing there.

  I dont know how to explain this to you, Shadwell, Rowe, but they are the bodyguards of my friend. They wont move out of the way as long as you have guns out. I appreciate the guns not being pointed at anyone, but theyre just doing their job.

  Were trying to do ours, too, Shadwell said. He risked a tiny glance my way, then put all his attention back to the men in the hallway. But you do not make it easy to guard you, Ms. Blake.

  I didnt correct him to add the Marshal. I wasnt feeling very marshally right now. I was sore, and tired, and scared, and I wanted badly to talk to the wolves in the hall.

  I made my own gun more visible against the door frame, simply by moving my hand up. Oh, I dont know, Shadwell, I think I do a pretty good job of protecting myself.

  My voice sounded so confident. Good for me; inside I was screaming. I could feel Richard just a few yards away. He had to be here for a very good reason, and the only reason I could think of was to help me, or tell me something, like why I couldnt feel Jean-Claude metaphysically. I wanted some answers, I needed some help, but me hysterical wouldnt get the guards to move. Okay, maybe it would, but if I lost it that badly, it wouldnt be pretend. I didnt want to be that weak in front of the werewolves. Shang-Da didnt really like me much. He thought I was bad for their Ulfric. There were nights I agreed with him.

  Dont make me come out there, Shadwell.

  That a threat? he asked.

  No, more a plea, I cant find a robe. Id rather not flash the hallway.

  It was Rowe who gave me a longer glance than he should have, with what was standing in the hallway. All he could see was an arm to the shoulder, but theres something about telling some men that youre naked. It makes them a little distracted.

  Eyes front, Shadwell said.

  Rowe did what he was told.

  I cant explain this to you, Shadwell, but I need them inside with me.

  Why? he asked, without turning his gaze from the men in the hall.

  What could I say that would make sense, and not out Richard further than he already was? Nothing came to mind.

  Crispin came up behind me. He whispered, Why do you need them when you have me?

  I gave him a look that has made bad guys run for cover. He lowered his head, almost a bow. Fine, fine, dont waste the full look on me.

  The stripper slept over, Rowe said, and his voice made it sound like he didnt approve.

  Who I sleep with is none of your business, Rowe.

  How many men you have in there? he asked.

  None of your business, I said.

  It is if were supposed to guard you.

  Then go, just go. I dont need you. I dont want you. Go.

  The stripper in question walked a few steps away and came back with the suit coat of the other tiger. Why hadnt I thought of that? Too easy, too hard.

  Crispin stood in the doorway, obviously nude. We moved back enough from the door so I wasnt in view while he held the coat for me. He helped me into it while I traded hands back and forth with the gun.

  We cant leave without orders, Shadwell said.

  Fuck your orders, I said. I was glad that the red tiger was tall and broad. It meant that his suit jacket covered me completely, almost to my knees. Crispin helped me button it. I looked like I was five and playing dress-up in my fathers clothes, but I didnt care. I was covered, and that was all that counted.

  I stepped out into the hallway, and realized that my gun was still in my left hand. I did practice left-handed. You never knew when youd need both hands, or injure your right. But it wasnt comfortable. But as I moved into the hallway, my left hand felt just right on the gun. It even had an ambidextrous safety, not that it wasnt already off, but still, if you had to shoot left-handed the Browning wasnt a bad gun for it.

  I thought calm, mundane thoughts as I moved toward Shang-Da and Jamil. Rowe grabbed my arm and whirled me back toward him. I let him do it, let his own momentum turn me back toward him; I turned my shoulder into his body, and my foot swept him as I came. He ended up on the ground with my arm still gripped. I twisted my arm in his grip, helped by the bulky coat, and ended with a one-armed joint lock on his elbow. I put enough pressure on the arm that he made a pain sound for me. He still had a gun in his other hand. If this had been a real fight, Id have had to shoot him a second or two before this.

  He started to bring his gun up, but mine was already pointed at his face. Move, and die, I said.

  You point that gun at her, Jamil said, and you die before he does.

  I didnt look away from Rowe on the ground. I trusted that Jamil had a gun out and pointed where it needed to go.

  I stared down into Rowes face, kept the periphery of his hand and its gun in my sight. Open your hand, Rowe, just let go of the gun.

  Fuck you, he said.

  I dont think so. I smiled and could feel it was unpleasant. It was sort of the smile I used sometimes when I knew I was about to kill somebody, but at the same time it didnt feel like me, exactly.

  Why had I upped the violence in the hallway? I hadnt needed to do th
is, but it was a little late to say oops. I stared down at Rowe. His pulse was thick in the side of his throat. He could control his face, but the pulse and beat of his body gave him away. He was scared. Should he have been? Would I really shoot him? There was a small piece of myself that said, quietly, If we have to, sure.

  I took a deep breath, and let it out slow. You shouldnt have grabbed me, Rowe. Maybe I overreacted, but you shouldnt grab a woman like that unless you know how shell take it.

  Dont go all soft on us, Anita. This from Shang-Da.

  They helped me last night, Shang-Da. My Hat was not there to protect me, but these two men were.

  You smell of fresh wounds. They did not do a very good job.

  The shift had changed to other men. These two did their best.

  Then why are you about to shoot one of them? It was Richards voice. That calm, matter-of-fact, hail-fellow-well-met voice. My chest actually felt like it squeezed tight at the sound of his voice. God, would I ever stop reacting to him like this? Honest answer: no. Answer I wanted to hear: maybe.

  He touched me, and I didnt want him to. My voice sounded rough around the edges as if I couldnt get enough air.

  I felt him coming closer. Heard Shang-Da and Jamil protest. They have guns; we cant let you go forward.

  Richard said, Shadwell, right?

  Yes, Shadwell said.

  Put up your gun, and Ill come help.

  Help who? Shadwell asked.

  Everyone. And there again in his voice was that confidence that he would do what he said. He would try to make it better. At his best, Richard really meant that. Problem was that sometimes there was no way to help everyone. He wasnt so good in situations where there were no good choices. He tended to freeze, or react badly. Of course, I was at my best when the choices all went south. We could have been a good team, if we hadnt hated each other. Okay, honestly, we didnt exactly hate each other.

  I didnt really think that Shadwell would put up his gun, but he did. He even said, Drop your gun, Rowe.