Mr. Big Shot

by S. E. Lund

  "I made a commitment last year – to never get serious about anyone. I am very faithful to my commitment."

  "But you liked Alexa," John said. "I could tell."

  "I like a lot of women," I said and sipped my coffee. "I like women. I just don't plan on getting married. Ever."

  "Tell me another one. You were all ready to get married last year to she who must not be named."

  I failed to hold back a grimace. "That was clearly a mistake. No, I'm dead serious. I plan on dying a crusty old bachelor living alone in my lonely old mansion by the ocean, cared for by a bevy of beautiful young nurses. Now that I've tried it, I like being independent."

  "Independence is good," John said. "But the love of a good woman is better."

  "To independence." I held up my cup of coffee, unwilling to give in to him.

  John made a face. "To love," John said and held up his.

  "To having a fucking good time with beautiful women."

  "Now, that I can toast to as long as there's love at the end of it."

  "You are a total romantic. You must have never had your heart broken."

  We clinked coffee mugs and went on with our meal.

  While we ate, my thoughts returned to Alexa, and how pretty and smart and funny she was. What a good sport she was to go along with everything that night. She was someone I would like to see again, and see naked, but that was the extent of it.

  “Really, though. What made her change her mind?” John asked, his eyes wide.

  Around us, the other customers were talking and eating, and the noise level was high. Barney's was a busy deli and so I had to lean in closer to John so he could hear over the din.

  "She was won over by my promise of fresh seafood and cold beer. She’s going to continue the pretense of being my girlfriend. That way, Mrs. B will set her sights on someone else."

  "Why not me? I'm going to be super rich soon, too," John said, winking.

  "If you want to come along, do. I'm sure Felicia would love to have someone to talk to."

  "She's beautiful. I'll take her off your hands no problem."

  "I'll put in a good word for you with Mother. She'll be pleased to be able to match you up with someone."

  Just then, my cell rang. I had the sound setting on cluck, denoting my adoptive mother was calling.

  "Oh, great, speak of the devil. It's Dragon Lady," I said and answered. "Hello, Mother," I said, trying to sound pleased to hear from her.

  "Hello, dear," she said, her voice sounding flustered. "I was just speaking to Eloise Blake about Saturday night. That girl Alana that you brought along?"

  "It’s Alexa, Mother..."

  "Why are you bringing her? We invited the Blakes because we thought you and Felicia were a great pair. Why didn’t you tell me you had a steady girlfriend?"

  "Mother, I don't tell you every intimate detail of my private life," I said. "I'm a fully-grown man. I look after my own relationships. I don’t need any matchmakers."

  "I understand that, but you haven't been serious about anyone so far since last year. I was just surprised to meet this Alicia girl. She's pretty, if you like full-figured girls, but really…"

  "She's not full-figured. She's curvaceous. She's not a girl either, Mother. She's a woman. She's a Master's student at Columbia studying International Relations. She's very smart. And her name is ALEXA."

  "Well, whatever," my adoptive mother said and I could hear the impatience and disapproval in her voice. "We're inviting the Blakes to the beach house. I hope you're bringing along John at least. The Blakes have made plans to spend the entire weekend and so I don’t want poor Felicia to be all alone."

  "Don't worry,” I replied dryly. "John is coming and he's very eager to get to know the lovely Ms. Blake better."

  “He is? Oh, good," she replied, sounding pleased. "That's one thing I can cross off my to-do list then."

  "Was there anything else?" I asked. "My eggs are getting cold. We're at Barney's for lunch."

  "No, that's all, dear. See you on Friday night."

  "See you then," I replied and ended the call.

  "Evil Dragon Lady problems?" John asked with a grin.

  "As usual, meddling in everyone's affairs. She's glad you’re coming, though. She was worried that poor Felicia would be without a dinner companion at the table. You don't mind?"

  "Not at all," John said and smiled eagerly. "Count me in. The Blakes are a great old family. My mother will be so pleased to hear I spent the weekend with her."

  "Your mother," I said with a laugh. "So different from Dragon Lady. No meddling."

  "Ever," John said. "Just polite questions and patient waiting for me to meet Ms. Right. Unlike you, I want to get married. Start my own dynasty."

  "You'll have no problems, if that's your goal in life. I'm sure there'll be dozens of women lined up eager to be your princess."

  "One of my goals," John said. "Marital bliss like my parents had."

  I nodded. John's parents were like Alexa's. Happily married for three dozen years. Then Mr. Andrews kicked off after a massive heart attack and left Mrs. Andrews alone. I liked John's family. A lot more than mine.

  But John was a romantic. Always falling in love with every tall woman he met. At barely six feet, he was shorter than me, and he had a preference for tall dark-haired women.

  "I like to see them eye to eye," he said one day when we were sitting in the park during lunch watching the people go by.

  I preferred petite women.

  Night and day, the two of us, but we'd been friends forever.

  * * *

  I left John and went back to my office, spending the afternoon working on several reports, trying to distract myself from the upcoming meeting about the deal. It kept me busy for a while, but soon, my stomach growled and I decided to take a few reports home so I could read them over that night after supper.

  When I got back to my apartment, I felt at a loss. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I wasn't at work or working out. I paced my apartment, listening with half an ear to the game on television, thinking about the upcoming meeting with JL Investments, the parent company of the tech giant that wanted to buy Chatter. We'd already met once and discussed options, and this meeting coming up would be the clincher. We'd either have a deal or it would be off, but I was sure it was on.

  Still, I was tense, wondering whether the deal would go through. I wanted to do something with my life, not just live idly off the money my family's money created and passed on from one generation to the next. When the money from the Chatter deal came through, I wanted to invest as much of it as possible in ethical stocks and investments.

  Then I thought about Alexa.

  She was a political type, and I figured she'd know about things like human rights and labor laws.

  It was something I could talk to her about. She was a student in international relations and would know her way around that kind of issue.

  So, I took out my cell and texted her.

  LUKE: Hey, what do you know about ethical investing?"

  I sent the text and sat back on my sofa, half my concentration on the game and the other on my cell, hoping that Alexa would respond. I wanted to talk to her about ethical investments.

  Hell, who was I kidding? I wanted to talk to her.

  Period.

  She texted back in a few minutes while I was flipping through an edition of the Wall Street Journal.

  ALEXA: I know next to nothing. Are there investments that are ethical?

  LUKE: Haha. You're not serious are you? If so, you must think I'm a total creep because I plan on being an angel investor.

  ALEXA: No, it's not that. I wish I had money to invest. Honestly, I don't have any money for investments and I can barely afford tuition and the cost of living. There’s nothing left over. A beer or three on the weekend. Maybe someday when I'm older and I'm actually working, I’ll have time to think of what I could invest in and what might be ethical. Right now, not so much.

 
; I smiled when I saw her text. Of course, she was a student. She barely could afford to spend money on entertainment, let alone investments. I'd been lucky all my life and had never been without money. I was lucky that my father and then adoptive father ingrained in me a respect for creating a budget and sticking to it, even if it was a pretty generous budget. I loved playing the stock market when I was growing up, and had a practice account when I turned fourteen under his tutelage, and when I turned eighteen, I invested one hundred grand, which turned into two hundred, and then half a million.

  What can I say? I inherited a fortune and a knack for numbers. From the time I was a kid, I loved math, computers and coding. I loved buying and selling stocks. I loved to watch investments grow and then reinvest to build a bigger better portfolio.

  LUKE: Do you know about anything international labor legislation? Trade?

  ALEXA: Zip. Zilch. Nada. I specialize in war and peace rather than international trade. Although the two are connected, but that's a very long discussion.

  LUKE: I have time.

  ALEXA: LOL Maybe for another night. Right now, my eyes are almost crossed from studying. My comp is tomorrow.

  LUKE: Oh, yeah. I won't bother you. We can talk when you come to Westhampton with me. We can sit on the beach and drink beer and talk international relations.

  ALEXA: Sounds riveting. ;)

  LUKE: You know you want to…

  ALEXA: You really want me to come?

  LUKE: I need you to come. Mrs. B and Felicia will be there. If I don’t have you at my side, Dragon Lady and Mrs. B will conspire to push poor Felicia next to me every opportunity they can find. It would be hell. You must rescue me.

  There was a pause and I wondered if she'd pull out or still agree to come with me.

  ALEXA: If you really think you need me there, okay. But it's all a performance. No a la carte ordering.

  LUKE: I'll be the perfect gentleman. Scout's Honor.

  ALEXA: Okay. I'll probably really need the escape after my comp is done. I've been studying straight for weeks now.

  LUKE: You deserve a break. Our beach house is nice, very comfortable, the ocean is right there, a nice beach, all the amenities.

  ALEXA: Sounds wonderful. Welp, I gotta go and finish reading my journal article on the ICBM Treaty and the Iran Deal.

  LUKE: SNORE…

  ALEXA: No, seriously, it's very good. Very exciting.

  LUKE: ZZZZzzzz

  ALEXA: Goodbye, sir.

  LUKE: Later. ;)

  I read over our texts, smiling to myself. She was smart but she was also playful. I liked that in a woman. She could be serious, but she could also have fun. I couldn’t stand people who were uptight or couldn’t take or tell a joke.

  The truth was I actually liked Alexa. I looked forward to spending time with her, just talking. Well, I'd really like to fuck her brains out, but afterwards, I'd like to pick her brain about politics so I could check out that angle for ethical investing.

  Plus, she was really easy on the eyes. She was pretty. She had a great smile. She was smart. She had a hot body that I wanted very much to explore.

  I should have known better than to keep seeing her.

  But I didn't.

  Chapter 11

  Alexa

  * * *

  Thursday came and along with it came my comprehensive exam. It went fine, I was well prepared, and when it was all over and I spoke with my advisor, noting how easy it seemed.

  She laughed.

  "You have to remember that you’re the expert in this area now. We've all read in the area in a general sense, but you've gone in depth."

  "I never thought of it like that."

  She smiled and patted me on the back. "Now, it's a tradition that your advisor takes you and the other MA students for a drink, so I hope you're willing to come with us to the pub this afternoon. We're going to a place downtown called Valencia. Five o'clock until seven."

  "I'll be there."

  "Good. Drinks are on me."

  * * *

  I went home and of course had to report to Candace how my comp had gone and that I'd passed. She hugged me and brought out a bottle of champagne that she'd been storing in the back of the refrigerator.

  "Let's toast to your continued success. It's onward and upward to your thesis research."

  We had a glass of champagne and I told her about having drinks with my advisor and the other students in my year.

  "Sounds like fun," she said.

  "Yeah, but Ichabod is going to be there," I said and made a face of disgust.

  Ian Crane, aka Ichabod, was a PhD student who couldn't seem to get the picture that I was not interested in his long-winded talks about the US election. He'd corner me in the hallways at Columbia and lean in close, droning on and on about the president or the FBI and it was all I could do to not run away. Although I was a political junkie, I had enough of US politics and the election. I was focused on my studies, not on what was happening outside my door. That may sound small, but I was tired of getting into arguments with people about it.

  "You can survive one night with dear old Ichabod. You have to do this – commune with your fellow grad students. Besides, I'll be there to cheer you on."

  "Thank God for that," I said and gave her a hug.

  * * *

  We dressed in our best causal clothes, with me in a pretty sundress with tiny straps that showed off my assets, and Candace wore her little black dress. Most of the time, my fellow grad students saw me in jeans and a t-shirt, Blundstones, and a backpack. I didn’t want to get too dressed up, but at the same time, this was a celebration so a little extra effort was warranted.

  We trooped down to Valencia for a drink and supposedly to celebrate my successful comp, but apparently, people in my course didn’t really know how to have fun. An hour in and the evening had grown almost too dull for words and so I excused myself and went the washroom, happy to have a reason to leave the table. Ichabod, aka Ian, had been hitting on me, and I found it difficult to be polite when he thrust his face close to mine and made that face, his eyebrows wagging suggestively

  I really didn’t have to go, but was hoping to find a way to extricate myself from Ichabod's attentions. I checked my cell, trying to distract myself from thoughts of him making the moves on me, and discovered that Luke had texted me.

  LUKE: Save me.

  I frowned. What the hell?

  ALEXA: Save you from what?

  LUKE: Terminal boredom.

  That made me smile. I could see him in my mind's eye, sitting in a meeting, yawning behind a hand, his blue eyes wide with frustration. Maybe those sexy dark rimmed glasses on that made him look so brainy.

  ALEXA: I was going to ask you to save me.

  LUKE: Oh, yeah? From what? Whatever it is can't be as bad as the current hell I'm in…Quarterly financial reports… *yawn*

  ALEXA: You’d be wrong about that. I'm at a supposed party at Valencia to celebrate my successful comp, and I'm practically falling asleep with my eyes open it's so dull. And then, there's this guy…

  There was a pause.

  LUKE: What guy? *takes on a fighting stance* Doesn’t he know you’re my fake girlfriend???

  I smiled.

  ALEXA: I was thinking of pretending there was a family emergency or something like that. Ichabod won't leave me alone and I can’t be mean to him because he’s my advisor's star teaching assistant.

  LUKE: Ichabod?

  ALEXA: Ian Crane, a PhD student. He has this really skinny face and red hair. He reminds me of Ichabod Crane in this book I read as a kid. If he gets any closer to me, I’ll scream. When he talks, I swear I can see his uvula.

  LUKE: His uvula? GROSS

  I laughed.

  LUKE: You have to learn to give men a big hint because many of us – not me, of course – can’t catch a clue. Tell him you have a boyfriend. You can use me as an excuse. I mean, since I used you. Turnabout is fair play and all…

  ALEXA: I can’t do that. Eve
ryone knows I’m a total nerd and don’t have a boyfriend. I haven’t had one for a year at least.

  LUKE: YOU. ARE. NOT. A. NERD. You’re a geek. Lie. Everyone does it…

  There was a pause as I thought of how to respond.

  LUKE: A YEAR??? HOLY SHIT. Not to pry, but you haven't had sex for a whole year?

  ALEXA: One typically needs a partner to have sex so, yes, over a year, actually. Don't make fun or I won’t be nice and go to Westhampton with you.

  LUKE: Sorry but I can't imagine you *cough* being single for over a whole year. My God, don't you go crazy? I mean, more than a year? How much more?

  ALEXA: None of your business. Some of us have control over our biological functions.

  LUKE: Nuns and priests, maybe…

  ALEXA: I'm no nun. There are alternatives to actual sex with another human being, you know.

  LUKE: Hmmm. Tell me more… Not that I'm slavering to imagine you doing all kinds of nasty things to yourself in the absence of a proper man with proper man parts…

  ALEXA: Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know.

  LUKE: I would, I would. Tell me everything.

  ALEXA: Not on your life. I'll leave it to your imagination.

  LUKE: OH GOD…

  LUKE: How am I going to get to sleep tonight? You vixen…

  I smiled and read back our texts. What would he think of me admitting I took matters into my own hand? I knew the mere suggestion would send his man brain into apoplexy. That was my desired effect.

  Yeah, I could be a tease.

  ALEXA: Maybe I'll come down with a headache. But the party's for me and we reserved the back room and have food and everything. I can't skip out on my own party.

  LUKE: Yes, that's right – your comp. I know it went well. You don’t even have to tell me. As to Ichabod, I could come and rescue you, riding in on a white charger. Or Black Mercedes SUV. Whatever works for you.

  ALEXA: No, that's all right. I'm a big girl. But thanks for the offer.

  Candace must have come looking for me because she stuck her head in the washroom and called out.