Mr. Big Shot

by S. E. Lund

  "So your family must have been really upset when they saw me with you. Me, from Oregon. I mean, I’m not even nouveau riche and besides, who's from Oregon anyway? Your mother said as much…"

  "When?"

  She shrugged. "After I saw you with Jenna. She came up and told me that you and I were from different social classes and would never work."

  "What?" I said, fuming. "That old witch. You have to know I don't believe any of that crap."

  "It made me feel even worse, but then I got my back up. You texted me at the right time. An hour earlier and I would have said no."

  "Thank God for good timing," I said. We both grinned and I leaned in closer to her, feeling an urge to kiss her then and there.

  So I did.

  I kissed her, a smile still on my lips, and she kissed me back, a smile on her lips as well. The kiss lingered for a moment, and then it broke on its own time and we pulled back. She glanced away, a smile still on her face.

  Yeah, she felt it, too. That connection we had that went beyond pure lust. It was more than that, although it was that as well. It was affection, despite the fact I knew her for only a few weeks. It was attraction to her as a person. Someone I could talk to about things that were beyond popular media or music or films – the usual things I talked about with the other women I fucked on a regular basis.

  With Alexa, I felt I could talk to her about the most familiar and most unfamiliar things – my family and the business world. My ex-fiancée and my trip around the world. My business deal and my family dynamics.

  I realized I had barely asked her about her family, since mine had been so dominant over the past week.

  "Tell me about your father and mother. I know they have a great marriage, but what do they do now that he's retired?"

  She went on to tell me about her parents and her brother, and how she missed them, but was unable to go back. She opened up and told me more about Blaine. We talked about his obsession with her after they broke up, and how she was afraid to go home. News got around too quickly for her to feel safe in her home town. She had to meet her family at vacation spots and the location would be kept quiet until the actual date they left.

  "It must have been scary having a stalker."

  She sighed, and glanced away. "The police arrested him after he pretty much abducted me. He was in jail for a while, but got out. After that, I never feel safe in town, like he was always watching. Like he was waiting for the chance to abduct me and kill me."

  I frowned, shocked that she was really that afraid. "Do you really think he would?"

  "Who can say?" She met my eyes. "He crossed the line into deviancy. He's dangerous. The police told me to be extremely careful and to never be alone in case he tried to abduct me and I thought, to hell with that. I decided to move away and not tell anyone where I was going. You can imagine I don’t really want to go back home as long as he's there."

  "I'm sorry you had that happen to you," I said and reached out, pushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "He's obviously a nut case. I was upset after Jenna and I broke off the engagement, but I wasn't going to stalk her. I didn't want anything to do with her ever again. It was my family and her family that kept trying to get us to kiss and make up."

  "You don’t think you could?"

  I shook my head firmly. "Never. How could I?"

  "I couldn't," she said and shook her head. "Cheating is beyond anything I could accept. If – when — I get married, I want my husband to know that he can come to me anytime and tell me if things are a problem. If he needs more than I'm giving him. When I get married," she said and glanced away. "I'll do everything I can to make sure my husband is happy."

  "That sounds easy in theory, but I think it's harder in practice. Sometimes, people don't know what they want or need."

  "Then, people have to grow together and learn to tell each other what they need."

  "You make it sound so easy. Marriage is hard."

  "Everything worthwhile is hard."

  I nodded, but I wasn't as sure of it as she was.

  Marriage seemed like a hard mountain to climb and a happy marriage like the pinnacle. Only a few ever reached it. Everyone else fell short and many people died along the way…

  We finally got a table and ordered, then spent the next half hour talking about everything and anything, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

  It felt so comfortable and exciting at the same time. I didn't want it to end, wishing we could take it back to my place for the night, but I had my meeting with John and Chris and that could not be put off. We were meeting on Monday to finalize things and needed to discuss our strategy.

  "Well, I hate to say goodnight," I said and glanced at my watch, "but I have to meet John and Chris in about ten minutes. I gotta go."

  I paid the bill and then we walked out of the restaurant past the throng of people waiting at the front for a slice and those waiting in line to get a table.

  We stood on the brightly-lit street outside the restaurant and I regretted that John had called and the deal was now uncertain. It felt like Alexa would come home with me if I asked. I would have liked to invite her to my place after my meeting with John and Chris, but that seemed so calculated, like I was hoping to fuck her but had other more important matters to attend first. I wanted things to feel unforced and natural.

  I couldn't ask, not this way.

  "I better go," I said and leaned in, kissing her gently on the lips. She kissed me back and then I pulled her against me, her body pressing into mine, her curves so delicious that I could get a hard-on just standing there with her.

  "Damn," I said, looking into her eyes when our kiss broke. "I wish you could come back to my place. I wish I wasn't going to meet John…"

  She smiled, and pulled back.

  "Maybe some other time," she said and squeezed my hand. "Before you go. I'd like to see your boat when it's finished."

  "It's a date. I'll take you on a sail before we leave. How does that sound?"

  She nodded, but her expression was serious, like she didn't really want to think of me leaving.

  I felt so conflicted at that moment. Part of me couldn’t wait to get in the boat and leave all my worries behind me, sailing down the coast to the gulf and then through the Panama Canal on my way to the Marqueses Islands in the South Pacific. After such a tumultuous year, after the breakup with Jenna and the business going stratospheric, I felt a strong need to get away, to think and just breathe for a few months.

  For a year.

  At the same time, I hadn’t felt this way about a woman for a long time. Maybe not since I met Jenna and we were first together. I hated the thought that I'd be leaving and nothing more would come of this thing between us – whatever it was.

  If I wasn't leaving, I would have kept trying to see her.

  If I wasn't leaving…

  Then I thought about the deal and wondered if Harrison Blake pulling out would stop the deal in its tracks. If so, it could take us months to find another partner and negotiate a new deal. I hoped not. I wanted to leave Manhattan so badly. I had dreamed of sailing away on my catamaran for years, and now, it was so close, I could almost smell the salt water and feel it on my skin as I sailed to the South Pacific.

  I glanced at Alexa and wished…

  Fucking hell…

  "Dammit, I have to go," I said reluctantly. "I don't want to go…"

  I leaned in to kiss her once more, only intending it to be a quick kiss goodbye, but it ended up being much more passionate. All at once, I didn’t care anymore and so I grabbed her and picked her up, kissing her even more deeply. In response, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. I was certain at that moment that she felt the same – wanting to be with me, not wanting me to go…

  Then I put her down and turned, walking away, regret filling me, but resolve pushing me forward.

  Chapter 17

  Alexa

  * * *

  I watched Luke walk away, his dark hai
r shining in the overhead streetlights as he dodged pedestrians and then crossed the street to his SUV. I sighed to myself, feeling a tug in my chest that he was leaving and I would probably never see him again except in the Cultural or Business pages of the Times. Although he'd said he'd take me for a sail on the catamaran before he left, I didn't believe it.

  It would be best for both of us not to see each other again.

  I took out my cell and was just about ready to delete his contact information when I got a text from him.

  LUKE: I really hate leaving you now, but I have to go to this meeting. I hope you understand. I know you probably think we should stop this now, before I go on my trip, but I want to see you again. Like, tomorrow night. Will you do dinner at my place? I want to cook for you. And other things…

  And other things…

  I didn't have to wonder what that meant.

  I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment, debating whether to answer or just delete him from my contacts and from my life entirely. I knew it would be the far better thing to do for my heart and for my sanity. I don't think I could stand to be apart from him for a year if we did decide to keep seeing each other and start a relationship. Even if he did fly me to whatever port he was in for a weekend or week when I had a holiday from college. Long distance relationships were not my cup of tea. I'd always be wondering if he was cheating on me in some port with some exotic woman and wouldn't feel sure of his commitment to me.

  So, instead of answering right away, I tucked my cell into my bag and walked back to my apartment, determined to just let things die a natural death.

  I got back into the apartment and found Candace sitting in her chair watching Netflix on her iMac. She had a bag of microwave popcorn and was munching away.

  "You back so early?" she asked, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

  "Yeah," I replied and threw my bag onto my desk. "He had a business meeting. Seems there's an issue with the deal and he's meeting with the other guys to talk over last minute strategy or something."

  "That's too bad. I hope it goes through…"

  "He said it might delay the deal if they had to look for another investor to make up the difference."

  "What happened? Why did an investor pull out?"

  I shrugged. "It's the brother of that woman his mother was trying to match him with. I guess he thought he'd be investing in his future brother-in-law and now that Luke made it clear he wasn’t going to marry Felicia, Harrison decided to pull out. At least, that's what I think happened."

  "That sucks. Why do these rich people think they can control their kids that way? Like my parents would never think of saying no to a person I chose to marry, or force me to marry someone they chose for me because of wealth."

  "They're old blue bloods and want to preserve their fortunes or something like that."

  "I got news for them. It's the twenty-first century, yanno…"

  I laughed and peered over her shoulder at the screen and saw it was Love, Actually. I'd never watched it, and was curious.

  "You're watching that again? Don't you get sick of it?"

  "Never. Speaking of love, what's going on with you and Mr. Big Shot?"

  I sighed and flopped down on my chair. "He wants to cook me supper tomorrow night at his place. And other things…"

  "Ohh, I like the other things. Lucky girl." She grinned at me lasciviously. "Supper sounds good, too. Why do you look so glum?"

  "Because he's leaving on a boat in a month and will be gone for a full year, that's why."

  "So?" Candy leaned forward. "Go and enjoy him while you can. Live a little. Get some, for God's sake. You need it."

  "You're not the one whose heart will be broken when he leaves…"

  "Don't let it get too attached. Use him for some great sex and good food and then wave goodbye happily when it’s time for him to go. Be more like a man for a change."

  "You think I should?"

  She leaned forward and squeezed my shoulder. "Of course I do. You're not going to find a man as good looking, successful or smart as him for a long time, sister. Enjoy him while you can."

  I nodded, realizing that she was right. "I guess. What's the worst that could happen? I fall in love with him and he leaves. I'll be alone. There's nothing different from how I am now – alone."

  "Exactly. Plus, maybe he'll fall in love with you and decide he can't live without you. He'll invite you to come on the ship with him and the two of you will sail off into the sunset."

  "Dream on," I said and laughed, a small part of me wishing that could be my future, and the big part of me kicking her in the ass for being so stupid.

  "Grab your chair and sit down with me. We can watch Love, Actually and stuff ourselves full of popcorn."

  "Sounds like a plan," I said and did just that.

  * * *

  Later, after the movie was over and we were done deconstructing it and raving over everything, I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and remembered that I hadn't answered Luke's text.

  ALEXA: Supper sounds wonderful. As do other things…

  I put my cell down and began to brush my teeth and within a minute, his reply came and my cell dinged.

  LUKE: I promise that you won't regret it. I'll be the consummate gentleman, cooking you a delicious meal and providing you with very enjoyable entertainment. I have a meeting all afternoon and the meeting will probably go on until seven. Then, I'll go home and shower, and pick you up at eight. How does that sound?

  ALEXA: Sounds fine. See you then.

  LUKE: I'm glad you didn't decide to throw me over.

  ALEXA: I almost did.

  LUKE: I know. You shouldn't. We should enjoy what we have while we can. Life is short. People die.

  ALEXA: They do. Goodnight.

  LUKE: Goodnight.

  I put my cell away and finished brushing my teeth, a smile on my face. I glanced at myself in the mirror and focused on the little thrill that went through my body at the thought of the other things, very enjoyable things, that I knew we would get to tomorrow night. It had been so long since I'd had a boyfriend and had real sex. Well, Luke wasn't technically a boyfriend, but he was a lover.

  I had a lover.

  I smiled to myself and finished getting ready for bed. When I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I saw that Candace was still up, dressed in her nightgown and reading her emails, her knee bent up under her chin.

  I sat on my chair beside hers.

  ”I have a lover," I said to her as I unscrewed the bottle and took a long drink.

  She turned and glanced at me, grinning crazily.

  "You do," she said and pushed me playfully. "You have a lover. It's so exciting! Finally, my girl is getting some. You deserve it."

  "I do deserve it."

  "After all you went through with Blaine, you deserve someone like Luke."

  I nodded and of course, thoughts of Blaine ruined my good feeling about Luke. The two could not be further apart in temperament, which was probably why I was attracted to Luke.

  Luke was so easy-going and laid back, despite being a very successful businessman. He could have fun and laugh, while Blaine seemed to be in a perpetual somber mood. I always thought it was because he was deep, but I realized instead that he was always on guard, looking for every slight to his ego.

  He was a control freak. He had to control everything. Me, especially.

  I'd been easy to control at first, because I was so in love with him and his handsome face and great body, plus what I perceived to be his deep thoughts and intelligence. When things started to sour between us, when I realized he wasn't all that deep after all, but was just quietly observing everything so he could measure how people treated him against his high standard, I started to assert my independence.

  He never once hit me, although he did grab me a couple of times, held me still while he lectured me on this or that infraction I'd done against his rules. When I broke it off with him, he wou
ldn’t take no for an answer and it wasn't just him pleading with me, telling me he loved me. He started to stalk me and then he attacked me.

  "You're mine, no matter what you do, Alexa," he said. "You can have your freedom for a while, if you want, but remember that I own you. I own a part of you that can never be owned by someone else. You can't ever really leave me completely, no matter what you do and where you go. I'll always be here," he said and pointed to my head. "And here," he said, his hand grabbing my crotch.

  I thought he meant he was my first lover and that meant he owned my virginity. He saw that as ownership of a part of me. I figured he was just being weird and thought nothing of it. But I was wrong.

  For the first couple of weeks after we broke up, he let me be, and I thought I was a free woman once again and glad to be free of him and his suspicious and controlling ways. But soon, I noticed he was following me. I'd catch sight of his car following mine down the main street. I'd see him enter the little café where we used to eat our lunch. He'd catch my eye and then pick up food to take out. I'd go to a party and he'd show up later, walk through the party, talk to a few people and then leave.

  I couldn't fault him because it was such a small town and there were only so many places either of us could go. Besides, my places were all his places as well.

  So at first, I thought it was just coincidence that we ran into each other or I saw him at places where I went.

  But later, I realized he was deliberately stalking me.

  One night, I took the dog for a walk and saw his car parked at the end of our street. I turned the other way and went back home.

  "Why are you back so early?" my mother asked, frowning when she saw me.

  "Blaine's car is parked at the end of the street," I said softly, not wanting to alarm her, but feeling nervous myself. "I'm going to take Molly out the back."

  I took my dog out the back way to the alley behind our house and walked her there instead, but the alley was dark and I felt immediately creepy. Molly was used to going out before bed and I didn’t want to deny her a walk just because I was spooked by Blaine. He might have been visiting someone, after all…