Together in ruins (The Scars series Book 4)

by Rachael Tonks

  “Yeah, man,” Brax interjects. “I think it’ll be good for both of you to step away from this place for a while, just until things settle.”

  Rubbing my finger over my brow, I look between the three of them, knowing they don’t get it. “What will it make me look like, huh? Like a fucking pussy running from his own club.” My voice is now raised and my arm flies out as I point over to the direction of the clubhouse.

  “What will it look like? Really, Nate?” she says with a scoff. “You’re more bothered about your male pride than you are about me?”

  I roll my eyes and shake my head in frustration. “It’s not like that and you know it.”

  “Please, baby,” she says sidling up to me, taking a hold of my hand and intertwining her fingers with mine. Biting my lip, I glance at her, knowing I can’t deny her this.

  Bending my head, I kiss her lightly on the cheek. “Not far from here, okay? You find somewhere, I’ll go check it out. But I’m not promising, Tara.” I pull back, watching as her frown changes to a smile that has an effect on me. My heart beats just a little bit faster and I can’t fight the smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth.

  “I have a few I think you’ll like,” Brax says with a grin, holding out his hand to me. “I’ll show Tara the few I have in mind. She likes them, then we’ll get you to check them out.”

  Taking his hand, I grab it tightly, shaking and giving him a firm nod. “Look after my girl, she’s carrying precious cargo.”

  “Well, fuck me,” Brax exclaims before his chest vibrates as a chuckle escapes him. “Congrats, man,” he says, pulling me toward him, patting me on the back. I glance a look at Tara who holds her hand against her neck, looking uncomfortable that I shared our news. I’m going to make my father pay for what he did to her, but no way am I even contemplating that the baby she carries isn’t mine.

  It’s mine alright. No fucker will tell me any different. I’m claiming Tara, and the baby she carries. It’s how it’s gotta be.

  Footsteps approach us and I bend my head, looking at who is there.

  “Hey, man,” Zane shouts over to me. I tip my head, offering him a fleeting smile, watching as the others follow him in.

  “Hey,” I reply, holding out my hand to the guy who has quickly become my closest brother. He takes it, pulling me in for a hug. “I’ll be through in a minute.”

  “Gotcha,” he replies, turning and making his way to church, the rest of the gang following him.

  Pressing my lips together, I drop my head a little, stepping toward Tara. “Stay close to Brax, baby,” I tell her, wrapping my arm around her waist and finding comfort in pulling her toward my chest.

  “I will,” she whispers in reply, looking up at me through her thick, black lashes.

  “Whatever it takes.” I rest my forehead against hers. She reaches her hand up, snaking it behind my head.

  “Thank you.” Her words come out almost like they’re forced. “Means more than you know that you understand why I can’t be here.”

  Narrowing my eyes on her watery ones, I say, “No promises, Tara. But I’m trying here. Balancing out being the prez and being there for you. But without you, none of this matters.”

  Her hand gently caresses my neck, her soft, supple lips touching mine. My eyes close involuntarily at the feel of her kissing me. Fuck. The feeling she gives me is like nothing else. It’s an indescribable pleasure. More than a feeling. It’s a reaction. How my body reacts to her every touch.

  Placing my hand behind her head, I pull her closer deepening the kiss. The contact is no longer soft. It’s intense and full of promise.

  The sound of Brax clearing his throat catches my attention, causing me to pull back from Tara. I flick my eyes in his direction, glaring at him.

  “Sorry to break you two lovebirds up, but we should head out.”

  Tara’s hands drop to my chest, her head forward and resting on my shoulder.

  “Yeah,” I chuckle. “I have men waiting in there for me. Better go.”

  “I’ll call you, okay?”

  “Sure, baby,” I reply, stepping back and smiling at them one last time before turning and making my way to church.

  Walking through the hall, I make it into the main clubhouse, past the bar and into the chapel. The guys sit lazily in their chairs, the room full of smoke and dull voices.

  “Hey,” I greet them and they all reciprocate. I slap Davo on the back as I walk past him and slide into the chair at the head of the table.

  “What the fuck happened, boss?” Jimmy asks, leaning forward, eyes flitting between me and the box.

  “Jeffries happened,” I snap, forcing out the words. “Guys, we have to lock down what we’re going to do about this.”

  “How do we know it was Jeffries?” Jimmy nods his head toward the box sitting in the middle of the table.

  I lean forward on the table, resting my chin against my clenched fist. “He had her phone. The sick fuck said he would return her, and here she is.” I scowl at him, annoyance coursing through my veins. “I ain’t making this shit up. Jeffries is responsible. Fact.”

  Leaning back in his chair, he widens his eyes, his palms up in a mock surrender. “Just wanted to be sure we were after the right guy.”

  I inhale slowly and deeply. “If any of you think this is some kind of fucked-up family shit, you’re sorely mistaken. This is about my father. The asshole who has no concept of the brotherhood. The president who ran this club through fear. Fear drove you all to follow him. To make you work for his gain. But that’s all about to change. We are going to be a strong, united club that make decisions around this table. Not me deciding for you guys, but us deciding together. Making the best choices for all involved.”

  “We all know how fucked up things have been. How we all went along with Jeffries because he sat in that chair.” Zane points to where I’m sitting, before continuing. “But what he’s done… the lines he’s crossed. He’s gone too far and we lost a brother because of him.”

  “What happened to Jarvis is messed up, brother. But we have no proof. No one can confirm or deny our suspicions,” Gus adds and I can’t help but glower at him.

  “I’m working on that. Tomorrow we ride. Whorehouse where the young Deathseeker hangs out. My intel has informed me that he’s quite fond of a certain blonde who works there. So we use her as leverage.”

  Zane cocks his head to the side. “Leverage?” he asks.

  “We get the girl; I have a feeling we get the answers we want.”

  My eyes glance around the table at smirking faces and nodding heads.

  “What time tomorrow, boss?” Davo asks.

  “We meet here at nine in the morning,” I instruct.

  “And the girl?” he asks, his eyes fixed on the box.

  “Speak to Hayes down at the crematorium. See if he can offer us a little private cremation. Off the books. Preferably today. I want the box gone.”

  “How’s Tara?” Davo asks, his voice full of concern.

  I drop my hands, leaning back and grabbing my smokes from my pocket. “Not good, man,” I reply as I pluck one from the packet, gripping it between my teeth. Zane thrusts out his hand, flicking back the lid on the metal lighter he holds in his grasp. Working his thumb over the wheel, the flame appears and he holds it to the tip. I nod my thanks, taking a huge drag before resting back in the president’s chair, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “She doesn’t want to stay here. Understandable under the circumstances.”

  “But you’re the prez. It’s in the blood of the club,” Gus interjects, his voice taut, and I had expected this.

  “He’s right,” Roach adds. “You gotta protect the club here, Prez. How d’ya think it looks if you go running away at the first sign of a problem?”

  I clench my teeth together as I feel anger rise inside me. I scrunch up my face, glaring at Roach. I don’t want to be an asshole, I want the men to respect me, but I also want their co-operation. “Tara is frightened. She’s also pregnant with my child, s
o forgive me if I put her first and take no chances,” I grate out.

  “Man, I had no idea,” Roach says, stepping up from his chair, stalking toward me. “Congratulations.” Offering me his hand, I step up from the chair, resting my smoke between my lips while I take his hand and shake. The guys, one by one, step up to congratulate me, and part of me wants to tell them what my father did to Tara. But, I also don’t want them thinking what happened is clouding my judgment.

  Once they all move back to their seats, I address them again. “It’s not going to be forever. But for now, I want someone here twenty-four seven.”

  “What about the prospect?” Matteo suggests.

  I look at Davo on my left and then Zane, my VP, on the right. “Anyone seen him?”

  The two men shake their heads. “Not today,” Zane answers. “I’ll go check out where he’s been staying, see if I can track him down.”

  “Good. But until then, someone is here at all times. I don’t ever want this place empty.”

  “Shouldn’t be a problem. Always one of us here, boss. Especially when the whores are working the bar.”

  “I know, I know,” I admit, nodding. “This place has been kinda quiet. I’ll make sure to get the girls in.”

  Cheers reverberate through the room. I chuckle, knowing that tits and Tanqueray is all it takes to keep this bunch happy.

  Tara

  Sitting in the back seat of Brax’s luxurious car, I pull my legs up, resting my chin on my knee while I stare out of the window. We drive so fast that what I see is almost a blur.

  “I think you’re really going to like this house, Tara.” Izzy’s voice snaps me from staring out of the window and I move my head, looking at her between the front seats. She’s turned to face me, smiling widely. “I’m so happy that Nate agreed to this. You shouldn’t be there, not after what happened.”

  “Me too,” I reply, reaching forward and giving her shoulder a little squeeze. “Thanks for this, guys. Our own place, away from the club is just what we need right now.” And that was the truth. I’m starting to feel excited about it just being the two of us. I know Nate’s home is at the club. I’m not trying to pull him away, but knowing we might actually be alone, like we were all those months when we were sneaking around makes my tummy flutter with excitement. So much has happened since he became president that having a safe place, just for the two of us, excites me.

  “If he agrees, this is a huge deal for Nate,” Brax adds. “He’s stepping away from the clubhouse, and I know the men will fucking question this.”

  Straightening myself I drop my feet from the seat. “He’s not stepping away from the club. He’s still president, we’re just moving away from the place that all the men hang out, day in, day out.”

  “I know, I know,” Brax quickly responds. “This is the brotherhood we’re talking about. They are caught up in tradition. I wouldn’t try to make sense of it, but just understand what this means that Nate has agreed to this.”

  Dropping back into the seat, I continue staring out the window. Sometimes, I feel like I’m never going to get it. I have no idea what truly happens, and I probably never will. I want to believe Nate when he tells me everything will be okay. But, I can’t get rid of the feeling of dread that I feel in the pit of my stomach. Not to mention the fact that I’m constantly trying to wrap my head around the chaos that encapsulates me. The whole shit with Jeffries, the fact that I find myself unexpectedly pregnant and that Emily is gone. She too suffered at the hands of that monster. Well, I feel like I can’t begin to control the range of emotions that spiral through me. Dread, hate, and fear are all I feel right now.

  “We’re here,” Izzy squeaks excitedly.

  Blinking harshly, I try to clear the moisture that has formed in my eyes. “Pretty,” I say, sitting up and scanning the street. It seems quiet and the street is lined with trees.

  “Jump out, I’ll show you around,” Brax instructs, swinging open the car door and stepping out. I follow his lead, stepping onto the walkway and looking up at the house that Brax makes his way toward. Crossing my arms over my chest, I let out a controlled breath.

  A warm hand finds my lower back and I look up at Izzy’s sparkling blue eyes. “You’re going to love it.”

  Hooking my arm through hers, I follow her up the drive and toward the traditional gray house. My eyes flick to all of the other houses. This is a quiet suburban street, and somehow feels a little too normal.

  “You know he’s gonna hate this, right?”

  “A little too civilian?” Izzy asks with a tilt of her head?

  “Uh-huh,” I say in response as we make it to the opened front door. I take the small step up and peek inside. The neutral décor is easy on the eye. I walk through the hall and into the living room which overlooks the yard at the rear. I walk from room to room checking out the whole place, all the time fighting back a smile. It’s a small piece of normal perfection.

  “You love it, right?” Brax’s voice startles me and I spin on the spot, clutching my hand as I face him leaning back against the wall.

  “I do.” I nod. “I really do.”

  “It’s only a ten-minute drive from the clubhouse and this is as safe as safe gets.”

  I rush toward him, flinging my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes as I try to hug him tightly. “Thank you,” I whisper, knowing how much the pair of them have done for me. “But no handouts,” I say, pulling back and glaring at him. “We pay rent. The going rate.”

  Glaring back at me, he flares his nostrils. “You think I’m taking your money, then think again.”

  I raise an eyebrow, stepping back and crossing my arms. “You gotta let me pay, Brax. It’s the only way this is going to work.”

  I see Brax stiffen and I cock my head a little to the side. “We got a deal?”

  “Hmmm,” he hums in reply and I’m not completely convinced he’s agreeing.

  “I’m gonna take a look out back, give Nate a call,” I say, sidestepping Brax and making my way down the narrow staircase. I walk through the hall, into the kitchen and over to the door that leads out back. Turning the lock, I open it, stepping out into the bright afternoon sunshine. The yard is gorgeous and well maintained. I stroll across the grass slowly, admiring the bushes and flowers that line the perimeter. Pulling out my cell, I scroll to the contacts and hit call when I see Nate’s name.

  “Hey, baby,” his voice booms down the receiver. “How’s the house viewing going?”

  “Great,” I reply in an upbeat tone, looking back at the house. “It’s very normal.” I accentuate the word and his laugh rumbles down the phone.

  “Maybe normal is what we need right now,” he mumbles. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

  “So, I can tell Brax we want the place? Temporarily of course.”

  “Sure,” he replies, but he seems really distant.

  “What is it, Nate? Is something wrong?”

  He sighs loudly down the receiver and I hear the tension in his voice. “We got the crematorium to take Emily’s remains. Guys are getting together to give her a send-off tonight. You think you want to be there?”

  “Of course,” I rush out. “I have to be there. I owe it to Emily.”

  “Why don’t you come back, pack up our stuff and once we’ve said our goodbyes, you can show me this new house of ours,” he says and I sense he’s smiling. “Fuck,” he continues. “After all the shit that’s happened, I can’t wait to just be with you, curled up together, forgetting everything else. Right now, all I need is you.”

  “Me too,” I reply, smiling widely. “But, the house, Nate. You’re really okay about this?”

  “Long as I’m with you, I don’t give a fuck where I am.”

  I stand, looking back at the pretty-looking house, anticipation stirring in my stomach. “Can’t wait.”

  “See you back at the clubhouse,” he says before hanging up the call. I nod, clutching onto the phone and making my way back inside. I glance at the fa
ces staring at me as I step through the door.

  “Everything okay?” Izzy asks as she sits on the countertop, Brax resting between her legs and it’s almost like I interrupted something.

  “Let’s do this,” I say beaming at the pair. “Nate said he’s happy, and we’re going to grab our things tonight and head straight here.”

  “That’s such good news.” Izzy presses her hand on Brax’s chest as she pushes him away just enough to dismount from the counter and head over to me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulls me close and I encapsulate her with my arms, hugging her back.

  “I’ll be glad to get away from the clubhouse. You know, the memories and all.”

  “I get it. Totally. There was always a feeling of satisfaction knowing that the house where I was captured and tortured no longer exists.”

  “I’m never going to escape the clubhouse, or the memories, but with time I hope I can learn to deal with it.” I gently break from Izzy’s hold and flash her a sad smile.

  “You will.” She reaches up, pushing back a few loose strands that have fallen on my face. “But right now, we need to head back and grab your things. You’ll need to pack.”

  “You’re the best,” I reply offering her a smile. We walk out of the house together and I take one last glance at our new home. Something about this feels so right. I can’t put my finger on it, and maybe it’s just knowing that I won’t be at the clubhouse, or that we seem to be moving in the right direction, but whatever it is makes my heavy heart feel that little bit lighter.

  We head back to the clubhouse and, the whole way there, I talk excitedly with Izzy about the move. As soon as we are at the clubhouse, I say my goodbyes and head inside to find Nate. Instantly, I’m caught by the music that booms through the clubhouse. Stepping into the main room, my eyes glance around the smoke-filled room. I sigh, folding my arms across my chest as I scan the room. Naked women, loud chatter, and drinks flowing. Girls hang off the guys. All of them just hoping they’ll be the next old lady. Which is ironic really. I fell in love with Nate. Not this lifestyle or the need to be some biker’s whore. Yet here I am.